Well, I will say separate from the co-resident question I have periodically wondered if the marriage was a mistake, essentially from the time we did it. I do love my wife and we know each other very well, have been through a lot. But has always been rocky. Was before the marriage, still is. Neither of us are shining examples of emotional stability. I find the mood swings are exhausting and that’s when I think “why did we do this, What’s wrong with me,” and so on. Typically after a fight or in past, a break up, I recommit to the idea of being fully open and us both stating our needs, but soon enough there’s a pressure cooker of her nerves seeming to get touchier and touchier and I stop speaking my mind. On the other hand what I like most about the co-resident is the sense of ease I get when we’re talking, just want to keep doing it. A vibes thing? She isn’t a knockout but cute. Losing attraction for my wife has been an issue for me for a while. Familiarity and effects of time? I don’t know, I’m all sorts of twisted up.
Thanks everyone for weighing in. Looking back at my original post it sounds like I was acting like this wasn’t a big deal or happens to everyone. Didn’t mean that, moreso my thought was maybe someone had experience in a similar situation. Much appreciate those who offered tips from experience.