Chances (recovering drug addict)

[VisceralFlame]

I'm not saying not to go for it, but make sure that you consider the expenses of applying in the equation. It can get extremely costly depending on how many schools you include

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[aspiring20]

Thx to everyone for the replies thus far, I would say the majority have been helpful and insightful; ultimately I am going to apply, be honest and upfront about my past and my success with suboxone, and leave it in the hand's of the professionals (adcoms) along with my higher power (NA lingo for whatever deity one believes in). I do hope that, for the select few on here that appear to be harnessing some type of stereotypical viewpoint on the disease of addiction, this shows those of you whom will go on to be physicians the real side of addiction. I grew up in a suburban home where I was typically exposed to the usual portrayal of a drug addict; the purse snatching heroin junkie. Yet I grew older and soon found myself to be in a similar situation, having to experience just how wrong that stereotype really is on a firsthand basis. Future physicians, understand that addiction is an extremely complex disease; nobody WANTS to live the way I lived for all those years. I never woke up as a child and declared a desire to become a homeless, penniless, filthy addict; I made a bad choice at the age of 15 and from there things just sort of happened. In NA there is a sang that one will hear on a near daily basis; you are not responsible for your disease, but you are responsible for your recovery. I take this sang to heart, as I do not remember ever making a decision to become addicted, but now that I have this disease I am determined to do what I can to help both myself and other addicts live a life of dignity.

As I mentioned in my initial post, I once was hospitalized in Abilene following either an overdose, or some type of drug related incident. Either way, desperate for a head change, I broke into the crash cart and began shooting epinephrine. The nurses soon told the physician, and when he came in the room I was honestly scared at how angry he was with me. Today I wish I could find that physician and show him that, in fact, when I was offered a path out from the horrors of addiction, I took it. And not only did I choose to follow a different path, but have since strove to improve my life by enrolling back into school. And to be honest, that physician may not have even held any type of stigma against addicts; he may have just been angry that I was shooting epinephrine as his patient in his ICU (very understandable). I honestly would probably be furious if I was in that situation. But you all as doctors will encounter many addicts in this line of work; they will lie to you in an insatiable drive towards an addicts only goal, the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more drugs. But this is NOT the addicts fault. I still remember how awful it felt to walk into a store and feel like I had to steal something in order to further my habit; to literally feel as though a gun were pointed to the back of my head, demanding I rob or lie or steal or cheat in the name of one more high. Please, future doctors, have empathy for my brothers and sisters in addiction. It is a terrible plight, one I would wish on no being, and one that you may be able to improve in some way shape or form.

Anyway, I invite this discussion to go further. I feel it can only help our future doctors receive better insight into what I feel is perhaps the most complex human disease there is. If ya'll have any questions, throw them out there; if I had time to really right out what all happened to me through that period of time I feel it would probably astound most (some would not believe it, but that is okay). I was an atheist when it all started; by the time I woke up in a detox facility following my first serious month long bender, it was easy to believe. Ya'll are awesome though, thanks again!

BB

best of luck

 

[DrOneDay7]

I commend you for your determination to overcome addiction. Based on how you described addiction, I can't begin to imagine how terrifying it is, but my heart does go out to you. You made a very bad decision at a very young and extremely impressionable age, and you've been held captive by the outcome of that decision ever since. It really, really sucks that you're still paying the price for that decision and that it has autonomously deterred you far away from the future you envisioned for yourself.

I was actually one undergrad class short of completing a minor in Alcohol and Drug Abuse, and one my classes was dedicated solely to the counseling aspect of substance abuse. Honestly, just by reading your posts, I feel like you're the type of person who could do a lot of good for a lot of people out there. A career in counseling or clinical psychology seems like it would be such a good fit for you b/c you'd be able to directly relate to your patients; you would be able to communicate with them, free of any bias or inadvertent negative body language; you would be leading by example to them that it's possible to overcome addiction and become successful. For you on the other hand, feeling the sense of responsibility that your patients depend on you would continually reinforce your determination to stay clean. It seems like a win-win situation for everyone involved.

There's a lot of people out there who simply need someone like you to guide them in changing their life around. No counselor or psychologist specializing in drug addictions is as good the one who has stood in their patient's shoes before. I wish you luck with everything and hope you consider putting your experiences into use that could positively impact so many.

 

[Chillywilly]

The thing is ...getting into med school isn't the problem. It's the background checks and questionnaires that are asked by hospitals for clinical rotations, residencies and liscencing. Most med schools don't ask you about your mental health or drug history, but you can bet residencies (and when you get your liscence), those hospitals/states will ask you about them. It can bar you from getting liscence, thus wasting all that time and money in med school. Don't just think about getting into med school, think beyond that. Look at the types of questions/requirements for residency and liscencing. 2 misdeameanors can be overcome, but the mental health history and drug addictions is what's problematic for hospitals that hire doctors.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

Guys, calm down. We all know he won't get in. Even the adcom here confirmed it. OP is simply going through the motions. He'll eventually have to accept reality, but giving up on something you want isn't going to happen over night.

 

[WalSlave]

And to be honest, that physician may not have even held any type of stigma against addicts; he may have just been angry that I was shooting epinephrine as his patient in his ICU (very understandable).

Uh yeah, ya think? You literally put his job on the line by doing that. What if you croaked on his watch or you hurt someone else while you were shoving needles into your arm? Come on. You're an adult. Take responsibility for your actions, especially when they affect other people. Good lord. I see zero empathy in your posts. If you can't even bring yourself to understand for a second why this doctor would be mad at you, then I don't even know what to tell you. I know you added a "very understandable", but in the same train of thought, you heavily suggest that you actually believe he may just "have a stigma against addicts." You sure do have a way of displacing blame, huh?

Do you even understand WHY doctors would get pretty annoyed at active addicts who are doctor shopping or begging for a pain med prescription? Do you seriously not get that YOUR livelihood is not the only one on the line when you do these things? You're not thinking like a doctor. It's almost like you wear all of your criminal behavior as a badge of honor. Your sobriety is your honor, not your rap sheet.

I was feeling for you, but honestly, the more I read your posts, the more I just see someone trying to manipulate their way into a prestigious job. You make statements that lead the reader to believe you are sorry for what you have done, but then in the same breath you talk as if you have had no control over any of your actions. This tells me you have taken zero responsibility. I know you've drank the NA koolaid, but when you're dealing with the real world outside of your NA meetings, you need to get your head back down to earth. I agree that addiction could be classified as a disease, but criminal thinking sure as hell isn't, and you have displayed a whole hell of a lot of criminal thinking. I think any adcom will recognize that. These are medical professionals who will be judging your app, not your NA sponsor. They don't care what mantras you've picked up at your meetings, and I'm sure they've all heard it a million times before. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[bxb130530]

Uh yeah, ya think? You literally put his job on the line by doing that. What if you croaked on his watch or you hurt someone else while you were shoving needles into your arm? Come on. You're an adult. Take responsibility for your actions, especially when they affect other people. Good lord. I see zero empathy in your posts. If you can't even bring yourself to understand for a second why this doctor would be mad at you, then I don't even know what to tell you. I know you added a "very understandable", but in the same train of thought, you heavily suggest that you actually believe he may just "have a stigma against addicts." You sure do have a way of displacing blame, huh?

Do you even understand WHY doctors would get pretty annoyed at active addicts who are doctor shopping or begging for a pain med prescription? Do you seriously not get that YOUR livelihood is not the only one on the line when you do these things? You're not thinking like a doctor. It's almost like you wear all of your criminal behavior as a badge of honor. Your sobriety is your honor, not your rap sheet.

I was feeling for you, but honestly, the more I read your posts, the more I just see someone trying to manipulate their way into a prestigious job. You make statements that lead the reader to believe you are sorry for what you have done, but then in the same breath you talk as if you have had no control over any of your actions. This tells me you have taken zero responsibility. I know you've drank the NA koolaid, but when you're dealing with the real world outside of your NA meetings, you need to get your head back down to earth. I agree that addiction could be classified as a disease, but criminal thinking sure as hell isn't, and you have displayed a whole hell of a lot of criminal thinking. I think any adcom will recognize that. These are medical professionals who will be judging your app, not your NA sponsor. They don't care what mantras you've picked up at your meetings, and I'm sure they've all heard it a million times before. Actions speak louder than words.

I really appreciate all the replies and advice from everybody; WalSlave, while I disagree about wearing any formal criminal behavior as a "badge of honor", amongst other things, I still appreciate an alternate point of view. There is no honor in going through the ways and means to get more narcotics, it is a life of dereliction and insanity. And you were "feeling bad" for me? Why? My life today is full of love, laughter, freedom, intellectual pursuits, and a wonderful relationship with my higher power. You really should not feel bad for me, I love the life I get to live today. And displacing blame? I have accepted responsibility for the decisions that I've made, and have had to deal with the consequences as well. The consequences still follow me today. Perhaps I articulated my thoughts incorrectly; over the course of my active addiction I was seen by many a physician in various treatment settings. Some were phenomenal; others not so much. All I am trying to articulate is that those with mental illness, even mental illness that can result in criminal behavior, do deserve empathy. I desire to become a physician one day to help those going through what I myself have endured; i'm sure that sounds terribly naive, and will perhaps induce emesis in some of you, but to me that has always been the point. All things together, however, you've helped me today WalSlave in reaffirming the fact that today I do have responsibility in how I treat my disease from here on. And the points you made concerning a physicians license and ability to practice is something that needed to be said; I had not thought of that. Anyway, ya'll have a wonderful day

 

[Bacchus]

You need to speak with several admission committee members at various osteopathic schools and get their opinions before you waste your money. You have Goro's opinion, which should suffice enough. Maybe get a licensing attorney's opinion as well or call your state medical board. To be honest, I think you're wasting time/money/energy.

 

[costales]

OP: Your friend gave you bad advice by encouraging you to apply to med school. You want to look for ways to succeed, not ways to fail - and possibly trigger a relapse. The slight euphoria I sense in your writing tells me you could benefit from further introspection. Addiction is a disease, but ultimately the cure is internally driven. Many people have done it - with professional help, a good support system, and the tincture of time. Continue to work on your recovery, reclaim your life, and put your talents to use. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[happypremed1]

You need to speak with several admission committee members at various osteopathic schools and get their opinions before you waste your money. You have Goro's opinion, which should suffice enough. Maybe get a licensing attorney's opinion as well or call your state medical board. To be honest, I think you're wasting time/money/energy.

^This. Talk to an attorney. It will suck to not be able to practice medicine because the state board won't grant you a license. If that's the case, you'll be stuck with a DO degree, which won't help you get a good job anywhere. You can potentially secure good jobs in finance and consulting by graduating from a top 10 MD school.

Take a look at this thread http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/quoted-recovering-addict-and-medical-school.983454/

 

[timbuktu]

People with a single DUI run into problems matching. If you have a rap sheet this long...

 

[TeddyBoomBoom]

Dude... Med school seems like the most self-destructive paths you could aim for...

 

[HinduHammer]

Someone else mentioned this, but I think the best thing you could do if you are serious about this path is to have a few YEARS of clean and productive living.

Frankly, your first goal should be getting off the suboxone. Your second goal should be working the 12 steps in whole. It sounds like you have maybe one year "sober." You need to have several years of complete sobriety -- no suboxone, no xanex, no seroquel, etc. Your dream may or may not come true but you have to do those steps first IMO. Good luck.

I really appreciate all the replies and advice from everybody; WalSlave, while I disagree about wearing any formal criminal behavior as a "badge of honor", amongst other things, I still appreciate an alternate point of view. There is no honor in going through the ways and means to get more narcotics, it is a life of dereliction and insanity. And you were "feeling bad" for me? Why? My life today is full of love, laughter, freedom, intellectual pursuits, and a wonderful relationship with my higher power. You really should not feel bad for me, I love the life I get to live today. And displacing blame? I have accepted responsibility for the decisions that I've made, and have had to deal with the consequences as well. The consequences still follow me today. Perhaps I articulated my thoughts incorrectly; over the course of my active addiction I was seen by many a physician in various treatment settings. Some were phenomenal; others not so much. All I am trying to articulate is that those with mental illness, even mental illness that can result in criminal behavior, do deserve empathy. I desire to become a physician one day to help those going through what I myself have endured; i'm sure that sounds terribly naive, and will perhaps induce emesis in some of you, but to me that has always been the point. All things together, however, you've helped me today WalSlave in reaffirming the fact that today I do have responsibility in how I treat my disease from here on. And the points you made concerning a physicians license and ability to practice is something that needed to be said; I had not thought of that. Anyway, ya'll have a wonderful day

 

[gumdrops]

Thanks for sharing your story. I felt as if I learned a lot reading it. This is also a shot in the dark but you strike me as someone who is even more determined to do something when they're told they can't, or shouldn't, do it. In this case, I think you should listen to the people on this thread. They're not being naysayers because they're judgmental or scared of having you in the profession. They all just see that this career isn't the right fit for you. That's not a BAD thing. I have several friends outside of medicine who are smarter than the ones I know in medicine. Medicine just wasn't the career for them.

I'm sure would excel at being a compassionate, empathetic physician. Yet you have to ask yourself what your priorities are. As you know better than anyone else weighing in, addiction is a lifelong struggle. Having a physician's access to drugs would severely compromise your mental health, at the very least. If I find myself overeating or drinking too many Diet Cokes, I just remove the food or cokes from my routine and keep going. You don't have this option to remove scheduled drugs as a physician.

You're smart enough to prioritize your health and happiness at this point. Becoming a doctor would likely be detrimental to both for you. Nothing is worth losing your health or happiness, including becoming a physician. Everyone's priorities are their own but I'd urge you to reconsider how to help people while taking the best care of yourself possible. Best of luck to you.

 

[Addiction]

This makes me cringe. You should absolutely not be around controlled substances, much less schedule II medications (oxycodone, morphine, etc.). If the only thing keeping you from not jacking meds from your place of work is your suboxone prescription (an opiate used for pain, I might add), then I'd bet money you are going to steal medication from this vet, if you haven't already. Suboxone is not a long-term medication. Your doctor WILL cut you off before long. Then what are you going to do?

Totally false information. Suboxone is a maintenance medication (long-term) for the treatment of Opioid Use Disorder with many patients now having been on it for 5-7+ years. There is no reason for a doctor to cut a patient off of Suboxone if he or she is doing well.

 

[AGSIII]

Totally false information. Suboxone is a maintenance medication (long-term) for the treatment of Opioid Use Disorder with many patients now having been on it for 5-7+ years. There is no reason for a doctor to cut a patient off of Suboxone if he or she is doing well.

Unless the patient desires to be opiate free.