Conduct issues

[eatinglightning]

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Hello all. So I've run into a lot of trouble this past semester at my school that I was wondering if anyone could help me with.

Long story short.
Since the beginning of college, I had a terrible relationship with this one girl who really knew how to push my buttons and manipulated me. This relationship culminated in three counts of incidents over two years where I was accused of "causing harm or fear of physical harm" to her. The last incident happened in March where the school decided to suspend me starting next semester.

Because of this, I applied in advance and was accepted to another good school (not as prestigious as my current one) next semester and am planning to attend it. My conduct record from before will not translate.

I was wondering if transferring may help to "hide" my conduct record from medical schools. Some people have told me that admissions boards ask for transcripts from all schools I have attended. I'm really not sure.

If transferring doesn't help and medical schools see everything, what consequences do you think my conduct record may hold in my admissions chances? I haven't been in trouble for anything else and all these incidents were related to this one girl. Everyone I know and have talked to agree it's pure bullcrap that I have to be suspended because the girl is psychotic and has issues. Do medical schools even care about these details?

Sorry for the long post, but this is a huge problem for me right now. Any help is IMMENSELY appreciated

 

[loveoforganic]

They will see it, you will have to acknowledge that it happened, it will hurt you chances. That is done. You don't want to come across as a hot head. Have a good explanation for what happened. Don't make excuses - acknowledge error etc.

 

[DrArete]

I think in this sort of situation, your best bet is to take a page from the book of Sir Sean Connery.
Don't try and hide anything. Don't minimize it.
Be proud, and say you had to take care of bidness.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0[/YOUTUBE]

 

[eatinglightning]

They will see it, you will have to acknowledge that it happened, it will hurt you chances. That is done. You don't want to come across as a hot head. Have a good explanation for what happened. Don't make excuses - acknowledge error etc.

How much do you think it will hurt my chances? While I won't make excuses about slapping this girl a few times, the stories between this girl and I is vastly more complicated than "I got mad and slapped her". Honestly, everyone agrees that the entire situation is unfair against me.

Are you saying I should not be true to how I actually feel and admit that I was totally in the wrong?


Oh and sean connery is the man

 

[loveoforganic]

I don't know the whole story (and that story probably isn't appropriate to be posted here), so I don't want to comment about who was in the right. However, explaining how you were in the right for slapping her to an adcom... I just can't see it going well. At all. Pretty much regardless of the circumstances.

I'd express sincere remorse at the situation and try to move on from it as quickly as possible.

 

[audreyrog]

Eatinglightening: What ever this girl may have done, you have absolutely no right to slap her a few times! In my opinion, you are demonstrating classic signs of being a batterer who is blaming someone else for your anger and control issues. I sincerely hope you get help to acknowledge your problem. That should be your concern, not how to lie to a medical school about your behavior.

 

[LizzyM]

You must provide all transcripts when you submit your AMCAS application. The transcripts are compared to what you have listed on the AMCAS application.

You must report on the AMCAS application all "institutional action" whether or not it appears on your transcript. This includes suspensions, expulsions, and less serious offenses (I've even seen reports of having an "illegal clothes iron").

Violence against a woman... you've got an uphill battle of epic proportions to overcome with that record regardless of the rest of the story. Schools don't want to admit the next Craigslist murderer.

 

[seelee]

"Is it ok to slap a woman in the face?"

"Why not? She's got a face doesn't she?"

 

[MeRLin443]

"Is it ok to slap a woman in the face?"

"Why not? She's got a face doesn't she?"

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing- she's already been told twice!

But seriously, hitting a girl is a non-starter for most people (as it should be). I assume adcoms have this same bias.

 

[eablackwell]

Probably joking about this topic on sdn is not the best idea. No idea who is watching or for whom that might bring back horrible memories.

 

[jla314]

How much do you think it will hurt my chances? While I won't make excuses about slapping this girl a few times, the stories between this girl and I is vastly more complicated than "I got mad and slapped her". Honestly, everyone agrees that the entire situation is unfair against me.

Are you saying I should not be true to how I actually feel and admit that I was totally in the wrong?


Oh and sean connery is the man

wow.

 

[rmaj79]

Since the beginning of college, I had a terrible relationship with this one girl who really knew how to push my buttons and manipulated me. This relationship culminated in three counts of incidents over two years where I was accused of "causing harm or fear of physical harm" to her.

If transferring doesn't help and medical schools see everything, what consequences do you think my conduct record may hold in my admissions chances? I haven't been in trouble for anything else and all these incidents were related to this one girl. Everyone I know and have talked to agree it's pure bullcrap that I have to be suspended because the girl is psychotic and has issues. Do medical schools even care about these details?

Wait, I'm confused. In these "incidents" where you were "accused" by a "psychotic" girl, were the accusations valid?If the girl was crying wolf when you HADN'T been violent with her, then by all means yes, medical schools will want to know these details. If it doesn't come up, I wouldn't bring it up. But seriously man! I can't see how a medical student and domestic violence would be a good formula down the road, if you HAD been violent with her after all.

Sorry but that's my 2 cents.

 

[ThaliaNox]

Ouch. Slapping someone a few times is not going to go over well at all. I've seen people get sidelined by something as silly as arguing with a campus cop where their only actual citation was the arguing part.

A record of multiple instances of physical violence will be hard to get over. I suggest looking into other career paths and making sure nothing like this happens again. .

 

[searun]

OP, you are going to have serious problems getting admitted to med school with this institutional action on your record. Undergrads who hit their girlfriends have been getting alot of bad press lately - like the University of Virginia lacrosse player who "accidently" killed his ex-girl friend last week by banging her head against the wall of her bedroom.

 

[Brown8472]

Wait, I'm confused. In these "incidents" where you were "accused" by a "psychotic" girl, were the accusations valid?If the girl was crying wolf when you HADN'T been violent with her, then by all means yes, medical schools will want to know these details. If it doesn't come up, I wouldn't bring it up. But seriously man! I can't see how a medical student and domestic violence would be a good formula down the road, if you HAD been violent with her after all.

Sorry but that's my 2 cents.

Yes, med schools will want to know that kind of info and if you ever get accepted and they realize that you hid such serious offense from the Adcom, have no doubt that they will dismiss you. Med schools these days do not want to be associated with any student who has a violent past and hide it in order to gain admission. So admit to your past issues and let the dice fall where they will. 😱

 

[klmnop]

ban this kid

 

[morning]

How much do you think it will hurt my chances? While I won't make excuses about slapping this girl a few times, the stories between this girl and I is vastly more complicated than "I got mad and slapped her". Honestly, everyone agrees that the entire situation is unfair against me.

Since the beginning of college, I had a terrible relationship with this one girl who really knew how to push my buttons and manipulated me.

That's three excuses already.

But I think the best quote of this thread is:

I applied in advance and was accepted to another good school (not as prestigious as my current one)

You poor baby!

I would love to be a fly on the wall of your med school interviews (probably not gonna get any, though) when you try to make even more excuses for hitting a woman on MULTIPLE occasions.

 

[rmaj79]

ban this kid

...if he shows his face again...

 

[RogueUnicorn]

dude.. this thread needs to be locked down..

 

[TooMuchResearch]

ban this kid

I don't think the OP has done anything on the forum to earn a ban. In fact, we have almost 20 replies and no one has called him a troll. That's practically a record.

 

[Brown8472]

I guess I'll be the first one.

:troll:
​

Too many excuses, I have no sympathy for him. Those offenses need to be engraved in his permanent records.

:troll:
​

 

[eatinglightning]

For those of you who are troll paranoid, I'm not one.
I was completely honest with the board here in my search for advice and some of you are making judgments when you don't know 1/20th of the entire story between me and this girl.

Eatinglightening: What ever this girl may have done, you have absolutely no right to slap her a few times! In my opinion, you are demonstrating classic signs of being a batterer who is blaming someone else for your anger and control issues. I sincerely hope you get help to acknowledge your problem. That should be your concern, not how to lie to a medical school about your behavior.

As I said, you don't know the full story. Without exageration, this individual blackmailed me into doing many things for her, lied to me, manipulated me, played with my emotions, and basically made my life living hell. I have never been violent with anyone else at my school and have had generally good relationships with everyone I have met. These incidents which I got in trouble for (twice where I slapped her separated by a year's time, and once where I yelled at her months after) are all related to this relationship I had with this one girl. That is about 1/10th of the full story now and I won't go any further.

While I may be a little angry, I am certainly not a woman abuser and it absolutely infuriates me to be called one. I can't believe I'm being compared to the UVA lacrosse player right now. Murder and slapping a girl who mentally tortured you for an entire school year are two very different things.

That's three excuses already.

But I think the best quote of this thread is:

You poor baby!

I would love to be a fly on the wall of your med school interviews (probably not gonna get any, though) when you try to make even more excuses for hitting a woman on MULTIPLE occasions.

Did I hit her on two separate occassions? Yes, I slapped her once each time.
Could these be considered excuses? Maybe
Are there two sides to every story? Definitely. And all I wanted to know was if medical schools were going to care about my side. Your answer did nothing but ridicule my genuine plea for help.

Your unbridled sarcasm does nothing to help this situation. You are a plain ****ing *******.

Ultimately, I'm obviously going to admit to doing these things and express my remorse for these actions. However, I will not completely give in and say I was a complete angry almost murderous boyfriend and put the entire blame of these incidences on myself. It simply is not the truth and isn't fair. Now that I've seen your responses, I really don't understand any of you to empathize with me especially since NONE of you know the FULL story.

It's a shame that when someone who has made mistakes expresses them honestly to a forum like this in search for advice, all he really gets is further backlash after his school has already suspended him.

If you have nothing constructive to post and no advice to give, then **** off and don't even hit reply.

To those that have been brutally honest, I thank you but still won't consider for a second giving up becoming a doctor as it's something I've dreamed about my whole life and already invested a lot of academic effort in.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

For those of you who are troll paranoid, I'm not one.
I was completely honest with the board here in my search for advice and some of you are making judgments when you don't know 1/20th of the entire story between me and this girl.



As I said, you don't know the full story. Without exageration, this individual blackmailed me into doing many things for her, lied to me, manipulated me, played with my emotions, and basically made my life living hell. I have never been violent with anyone else at my school and have had generally good relationships with everyone I have met. These incidents which I got in trouble for (twice where I slapped her separated by a year's time, and once where I yelled at her months after) are all related to this relationship I had with this one girl. That is about 1/10th of the full story now and I won't go any further.

While I may be a little angry, I am certainly not a woman abuser and it absolutely infuriates me to be called one. I can't believe I'm being compared to the UVA lacrosse player right now. Murder and slapping a girl who mentally tortured you for an entire school year are two very different things.



Did I hit her on two separate occassions? Yes, I slapped her once each time.
Could these be considered excuses? Maybe
Are there two sides to every story? Definitely. And all I wanted to know was if medical schools were going to care about my side. Your answer did nothing but ridicule my genuine plea for help.

Your unbridled sarcasm does nothing to help this situation. You are a plain ****ing *******.

Ultimately, I'm obviously going to admit to doing these things and express my remorse for these actions. However, I will not completely give in and say I was a complete angry almost murderous boyfriend and put the entire blame of these incidences on myself. It simply is not the truth and isn't fair. Now that I've seen your responses, I really don't understand any of you to empathize with me especially since NONE of you know the FULL story.

It's a shame that when someone who has made mistakes expresses them honestly to a forum like this in search for advice, all he really gets is further backlash after his school has already suspended him.

If you have nothing constructive to post and no advice to give, then **** off and don't even hit reply.

To those that have been brutally honest, I thank you but still won't consider for a second giving up becoming a doctor as it's something I've dreamed about my whole life and already invested a lot of academic effort in.

uh oh, don't go slapping someone now..

 

[eatinglightning]

uh oh, don't go slapping someone now..

Like I said, if you have nothing constructive to add here, screw off. You are like every other competitive little prick of a premed at my school. I hope you are not considering psychiatry

 

[RogueUnicorn]

Like I said, if you have nothing constructive to add here, screw off. You are like every other competitive little prick of a premed at my school. I hope you are not considering psychiatry

juss saying, we've seen what happens when you get furious

besides, i have no desire to compete with you in whatever it is that you do. allegedly.

 

[searun]

OP, you wanted feedback and you got it. The consensus is that your chances of getting admitted to med school are almost zero. You should do yourself a favor and start working on your Plan B for a different career because it is extremely unlikely that you will ever become a physician. That is reality. It is not what you want to hear but it is the truth.

 

[causalinference]

If becoming a doctor is your dream then, by all means, try your best to make it happen. Be warned, though, that it will be extremely difficult--in fact, almost impossible--to earn an acceptance with multiple counts of physical violence on your record. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were. Just be glad that you weren't living with her because you could have been charged with misdemeanor domestic violence and many employers won't hire you with that on your record.

 

[eatinglightning]

juss saying, we've seen what happens when you get furious

besides, i have no desire to compete with you in whatever it is that you do. allegedly.

You have seen nothing about me except what is reported on paper. You don't know me. There's a cause for every reaction, and I'm going to admit that I should have controlled myself better in these instances. However, I will also fully explain the details of this relationships and everything that led up to these mistakes in hopes that it puts me in a slightly better light than "murderous" which is what most of you seem to think I am.

Hindsight is 20/20. No one is perfect, except maybe you, and I'm quite sure we've all lost control of our emotions at some point in our lives and made bad decisions because of it at least once.

 

[NdStudent]

I kinda agree with the majority of others. Someone that has let their anger get the best of them and resorted to physical violence is going to have a very low chance if one at all of being able to persuade someone in their favor. I say this because this would be true in all situations where you would have to disclose information. You would be a liability, people would always think something along the lines of what if he snaps and slaps a patient or a co worker.

Your anger has even reared its head in your responses towards other peoples post in your thread here.

 

[jla314]

Everyone has been lied to, mistreated, manipulated, and/or taken advantage of at some point, but most don't get physical over it. There is no excuse for your violence, and I don't think an adcom will be receptive to anything other than owning up to what you've done (including not whining about how unfair your life is) AND seeing you actively trying to change your attitude (i.e. seeking anger management help). Even then, I don't know...

 

[RogueUnicorn]

You have seen nothing about me except what is reported on paper. You don't know me. There's a cause for every reaction, and I'm going to admit that I should have controlled myself better in these instances. However, I will also fully explain the details of this relationships and everything that led up to these mistakes in hopes that it puts me in a slightly better light than "murderous" which is what most of you seem to think I am.

Hindsight is 20/20. No one is perfect, except maybe you, and I'm quite sure we've all lost control of our emotions at some point in our lives and made bad decisions because of it at least thrice.

fixed to apply to your particular circumstances.

i have a report on you?

 

[eatinglightning]

fixed to apply to your particular circumstances.

i have a report on you?

You are repeating things that have already been said. I have nothing more to say to you

 

[RogueUnicorn]

You are repeating things that have already been said. I have nothing more to say to you

moving past words so soon?

 

[eatinglightning]

moving past words so soon?

Moving past you. Done.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

going for the smaller ones?

 

[typhoonegator]

You have seen nothing about me except what is reported on paper. You don't know me.

No, we do not. But neither will the admissions committee. They will just have your application, and a pile of other similar applications. They will note that YOUR application has multiple reports of violent behavior, whilst the others will not. Without getting into your explanation of events, they will have a pretty easy decision to make. They don't have to see things your way, in fact, they probably won't care to. They will just look at the facts and toss your application in the NO pile.

For the sake of your career, I hope I'm wrong, but people get rejected for very superficial reasons, and yours is not a superficial reason.

 

[eatinglightning]

In the end, I have gained what I wanted from this thread. An outsider's perspective on my situation written on paper. It sucks but it's the truth and I have to realize that.

Contrary to what many of you may believe, I am not a violent come to blows kind of guy. Those that know me in real life (not through a medical discussion board) call me pretty chill and friendly.

We all have skeletons in our closets and it's a little sad that there are those who feel the need to blindly retaliate against me for what I've done when all I wanted was some advice. I suppose that is what I get for honesty.

 

[BBender716]

In the end, I have gained what I wanted from this thread. An outsider's perspective on my situation written on paper. It sucks but it's the truth and I have to realize that.

Contrary to what many of you may believe, I am not a violent come to blows kind of guy. Those that know me in real life (not through a medical discussion board) call me pretty chill and friendly.

We all have skeletons in our closets and it's a little sad that there are those who feel the need to blindly retaliate against me for what I've done when all I wanted was some advice. I suppose that is what I get for honesty.

I was gonna speak my mind and tell you what my opinion was...

but I'm afraid I'll be slapped.

 

[eatinglightning]

going for the smaller ones?

What is with your preoccupation of making others feel bad for things that have already happened? Do you derive internal reward for causing negativity? You are pathetic

 

[seelee]

You have seen nothing about me except what is reported on paper. You don't know me. There's a cause for every reaction, and I'm going to admit that I should have controlled myself better in these instances. However, I will also fully explain the details of this relationships and everything that led up to these mistakes in hopes that it puts me in a slightly better light than "murderous" which is what most of you seem to think I am.

Hindsight is 20/20. No one is perfect, except maybe you, and I'm quite sure we've all lost control of our emotions at some point in our lives and made bad decisions because of it at least once.

Hey, if you are bound and determined to spend the money, time, effort, and headache that the application process entails, then by all means do so.

Just remember that you are competing with tens if not hundreds of thousands of applicants who are not on record for having slapped a girl. Hell, you could have had the best reason in the world to slap her. It doesn't change the fact that when the ad-com looks at your file and has an option between you and another person with the exact same statistics who didn't slap their girl friend, is there going to be any question of who they accept?

Trust me, no body is going to look at your tale of wo, feel sorry for you, and think that your experience has increased your capacity to be a caring and patient physician.

Sorry.

 

[theWUbear]

I'm going to play the game here and ask: Do foreign med schools, like SGU, do criminal background checks? If not, OP might want to cut losses and try his best from that angle, if the "risk" of going to an offshore school is worth the reward of practicing medicine in his eyes.

 

[eatinglightning]

I was gonna speak my mind and tell you what my opinion was...

but I'm afraid I'll be slapped.

This is too funny. I love how my first thread here has garnered so much negative sarcasm, controversy, and attention. I hope every one of my future medical school classmates are like you

 

[RogueUnicorn]

What is with your preoccupation of making others feel bad for things that have already happened? Do you derive internal reward for causing negativity? You are pathetic

just when they show clear evidence that they're still kinda happening.

 

[klmnop]

I was completely honest with the board here in my search for advice and some of you are making judgments when you don't know 1/20th of the entire story between me and this girl.

We are judging based on what you told us. If you want us to judge the whole story then you better tell it completely, and then let us hear her side. Until then... in our eyes you abuse women.

As I said, you don't know the full story. Without exageration, this individual blackmailed me into doing many things for her, lied to me, manipulated me, played with my emotions, and basically made my life living hell.

I'm tearing up just reading about it...I hope she never called you a 'dumbhead' or anything mean like that.

These incidents which I got in trouble for (twice where I slapped her separated by a year's time, and once where I yelled at her months after) are all related to this relationship I had with this one girl.

The fact that this is plural indicates you had no remorse then, have little remorse now, and have learned nothing. If for some ungodly reason you couldn't keep your hands off her once, a sane person would permanently remove themselves from the situation.

While I may be a little angry, I am certainly not a woman abuser

err? definition of abuse = "twice where I slapped her separated by a year's time, and once where I yelled at her months after"

Did I hit her on two separate occassions? Yes, I slapped her once each time.

See above

And all I wanted to know was if medical schools were going to care about my side.

Unless she had a gun to your head and bit your **ck off, they won't give a sh**.

Your unbridled sarcasm does nothing to help this situation.

I think most of us are enjoying it.

NONE of you know the FULL story.

See top.

To those that have been brutally honest, I thank you but still won't consider for a second giving up becoming a doctor as it's something I've dreamed about my whole life and already invested a lot of academic effort in.

Its time to wake up and smell the b****slap

 

[RogueUnicorn]

This is too funny. I love how my first thread here has garnered so much negative sarcasm, controversy, and attention. I hope every one of my future medical school classmates are like you

imaginary?

 

[Premeddie]

is*

you hit a girl? whadda bitch. didn't have to do it, you're just too small to walk away. if you can't be a bigger man than a girl, you just suck.

 

[klmnop]

imaginary?

ahha

 

[runawayclock]

I kind of sympathize with the OP in the sense that it sucks that he's going to have a tough time getting into a med school because of what was potentially just a really bad "act of passion" when he was young. But... dude. unless the girl is wielding a weapon or threatening you bodily, it really does not seem excusable to hit a girl.

Do NOT try to hide this from the AdComs - just deal with it honestly. No excuses. Show that you are more mature, more controlled, etc.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

my conception of the OP.. minus the singing mostly
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lESvurzcDyg[/YOUTUBE]

 

[klmnop]

I kind of sympathize with the OP in the sense that it sucks that he's going to have a tough time getting into a med school because of what was potentially just a really bad "act of passion" when he was young. But... dude. unless the girl is wielding a weapon or threatening you bodily, it really does not seem excusable to hit a girl.

Do NOT try to hide this from the AdComs - just deal with it honestly. No excuses. Show that you are more mature, more controlled, etc.

more like 3 really bad acts of passion. not much sympathy over here