Crap, man, what do to?

[drat]

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[ShawnOne]

I would...

1.) Tell her to forget it and I'll have a coworker write me one (but this would delay my application further because I would want to give them a minimum of 2 weeks to complete it.

a two week delay is no big deal in the grand scheme of things. Then again, you are from the east coast and those schools start early. hmmm

 

[toothcaries]

"You know what would save me a lot of time? If you wrote it yourself and I'll just sign it." I honest to God thought she was joking - but she wasn't. She said it would be good for me to learn how to write recommendations (Why?) and after I'm done, I'll be a pro (What the deuce?).
.

so..
how exactly is this a bad thing?

when i had to evaluate people..i had them write their own evaluation.
..if i agreed with it, then i'd sign.

if u are a red blooded, god fearing, big-booty loving american...
...then write yourself a glowing recommendation.

i dont really see the problem....but maybe i am lacking in dignity and self worth.

 

[accidental]

It is actually pretty common even for some professors and dentists to make that same request. I don't see any problem with it.

Also, I know that in a day when email and IM are the communication method of choice, you might think about actually speaking to her one of those time you see your manager in the hall - unless you have laryngitis or something.

 

[Rezdawg]

The only problem I have with her asking you to write it is that it took her 6 weeks to tell you that, and thats only when you brought up the issue. Thats not cool by her part...she should know that this is something that you are taking seriously, and by her delaying the process, thats just being inconsiderate.

 

[bdahl12]

Man, why do you want all this drama in your life, really. You act like this situation is the worst thing that could happen to you, so many people ask for lor and never get one, and yours tells you to write it and you get twisted by it. You judged the character of this person and respected there opinion when you asked them to write you a letter. You have no room to complain. Write it yourself and if they agree they will sign it, end of story.

 

[aileen]

I agree with most people. It was wrong for her to take 6 weeks to tell you to write one yourself.

However, isn't it better that you wrote about yourself than having a professor filling in the blanks with your name on her already made-up recommendation letters?

I don't see any problem with it. Even if you do, there're PLENTY of worse things you'll have to swallow in your life.

 

[sidewalkman]

Your letter-writer is an @$$.

Still, you need that LOR. Unfortunately, you passed over a GOLDEN opportunity to have one less stressful part of your application. The whole point of a LOR is to have someone else verify that you actually have the strengths you listed. Now, you have the rare opportunity to eliminate the possibility that your boss won't do that. There's nothing unethical about it, since by signing the document, she agrees to all the opinions in the LOR - nowhere will it say that she actually wrote it. That's all you need.

So I'd go back to the boss, say you had a momentary lapse in judgement, and ask her to sign the rec letter that you have written. If she disagrees, hopefully you have someone else at work who has supervised you for something (better than a random co-worker) and you can persude them to sign the LOR you have written.

 

[eric275]

Just my 2cents.

I would not hold up my application because of an LOR. Get your application submitted and quit messing around. Once you submit your application it is going to take another 3-4 weeks before AADSAS even gets it to the schools. During that time you can get the letter situation figured out.

 

[HBomb]

Just my 2cents.

I would not hold up my application because of an LOR. Get your application submitted and quit messing around. Once you submit your application it is going to take another 3-4 weeks before AADSAS even gets it to the schools. During that time you can get the letter situation figured out.

This is solid advice.

 

[umc27]

Yeah, submit your application ASAP. You can also have the 3rd letter writer send the letters directly to the schools (you'll provide the stamped envelopes, obviously.)

 

[jheidenr]

I can totally understand your feelings about writing your own recommendation, but if you really need this one maybe you could compromise...like write an outline of the things you would like your manager to say and discuss the points with your her. Make it as easy as possible on her without actually doing the whole thing. Just an idea....

 

[HBomb]

Just think of this as an opportunity!!! Do yourself a big favor, and write the darn thing, for your sake!!! You really think your boss can write you a better LOR than you can for yourself? Though you haven't said this but you sound like you're feeling sorry for yourself...well stop, take charge, treat it as a golden opportunity. Get you app submitted and completed!!!