Crazy things doctors say to patients...
Started by Lawgiver
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deleted407021
Did they really? Okeedokee, then.
One of my friends that's a girl told me her doctor said she had big muscular legs. (In a good way)
Seems to be a trend here.
Seems to be a trend here.
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yes he did!
Well if you're female that's not so bad...
Though if you're a guy I wouldn't know how to take it.
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deleted407021
Ah. I see you updated it to say you're a male. Sorry ... ? 
Patient: "Do you like being an ER doctor?"
Doctor: "It's the best job you can have, other than killing people for money."
Doctor: "It's the best job you can have, other than killing people for money."
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deleted407021
I met an ob/gyn once who would often say the following to his expecting patients: "If you take up going to the gym, you'll wind up shooting baby across the room."
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"You really should consider adopting a diet and exercise regimen."
Some doctors are so weird.
Some doctors are so weird.
Patient: "Will someone take this IV out before I leave?"
Doctor (same one as my previous post): "No, we leave those in now. It will rot and fall out in approximately 2 weeks."
Doctor (same one as my previous post): "No, we leave those in now. It will rot and fall out in approximately 2 weeks."
You would think the physician asked whether they spit or swallow the way some patients react to this.
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deleted407021
Wat!? You mean I need to change the way I behave if I want to be healthy? Screw you!!
Yeah, I've seen it. -_-
Some of my favorites:
In pre-op, marking: "She has quite pendulous breasts."
Attending to resident: "She's is being a big slug."
Patient: "What!!? Did you just call me a big slut?"
Horrible resident to patient: "If you don't sign this consent, you'll die!!!"
In pre-op, marking: "She has quite pendulous breasts."
Attending to resident: "She's is being a big slug."
Patient: "What!!? Did you just call me a big slut?"
Horrible resident to patient: "If you don't sign this consent, you'll die!!!"
Are pendulous breasts not a good thing?
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This is plastic surgery. We grade ptosis by nipple position relative to inframammary fold!
How does this have anything to do with how doctors talk to patients
My doctor said that first one to my face, word for word (when talking about whether that could affect my scoliosis).
He's not my favorite doctor.
I worked with an attending on my heme/onc rotation was a super nice guy but not really the best at talking with patients about "bad news" (he was more of a researcher). Whenever someone would ask him for a prognosis in terms of estimated survival time, he would just point up at the sky (i.e., "only God knows) and that was it. It was almost comical except for the fact these were, you know, real people.
"Next time I see you, you'll probably be dead or close to it... and that won't be any fun will it? Well maybe for me and my resident. You gotta start checking your weed before you smoke it. You know better..stop trying new dealers"
After several rounds of narcan...
Dr: You ready to be an organ donor?
Patient: What?! No?
Dr: Of course you don't! Because all that cocaine makes your heart **** to everyone.
I diiiiiiiied.
Dr: You ready to be an organ donor?
Patient: What?! No?
Dr: Of course you don't! Because all that cocaine makes your heart **** to everyone.
I diiiiiiiied.
I don't really think that is that bad, if he means like it's in God's hands.
I suppose it's one of those "you had to be there" kind of moments. Even when pressed, he would just do the same thing. He admitted that he didn't provide more specific answers because he didn't want to be the one delivering that news - that was something for the outpatient oncologist to do.
Not in most people's minds.
but still your surgeon? probably cuz he's awesome 😀
speak for yourself. How do you know my mind =P
speak for yourself. How do you know my mind =P
I have shadowed my dad a few times and heard him ask really old patients "How did you get so old?" They usually think its funny though.
Except he was probably right, especially if you were considering having surgery for scoli.
I had a doctor (went in for a routine physical) once try to convince me that I had exercise-induced asthma and needed treatment, despite me having no complaints and not having exercised recently prior to going. I guess I blush easily and have chronic rhinitis or some ish and maybe my lungs sounded a bit something or other? Now, maybe he did pick up on some subtle cues and maybe I do have EIA, who knows? But the guy would not leave me alone about getting it 'treated' (again, no complaints on my part, so in my mind nothing to treat).
Me: even if I have asthma, it's clearly not severe enough to have caused me any issues.
Dr: Well, I bet you sucked at sports.
Me: Um, no...been an athlete my whole life and my team made it to nationals twice.
Dr: Well, I bet you were slower than your teammates
Me: I was the fast one.
Dr: Well, you were probably slower than you could have been. Anyway, it's irresponsible of you not to investigate this. Don't you want to have kids someday?
Me: What does that have to do with my lungs?!?
Dr: Well, what if your child has asthma?
Me: If they have the same 'symptoms' I have, I imagine I'll tell them that yes, hard exercise makes you a bit short of breath, but keep running and it'll get easier.
Dr. What if it's worse? Don't you want to be able to educate them about it? Don't you want to be a good mother?
Me: If my hypothetical future child has asthma, I imagine that is something I'll be able to discuss with my hypothetical future child's doctor, what the hell?
Yeah, it's been a while, so I'm sure the exact phrasings are slightly off (except the bolded...he actually said that straight-up). But seriously wtf? I don't want meds for symptoms that don't affect me, so I'm a terrible mother to a nonexistent hypothetical future child?
But the guy would not leave me alone about getting it 'treated' (again, no complaints on my part, so in my mind nothing to treat).Me: even if I have asthma, it's clearly not severe enough to have caused me any issues.
Dr: Well, I bet you sucked at sports.
Me: Um, no...been an athlete my whole life and my team made it to nationals twice.
Dr: Well, I bet you were slower than your teammates
Me: I was the fast one.
Dr: Well, you were probably slower than you could have been. Anyway, it's irresponsible of you not to investigate this. Don't you want to have kids someday?
Me: What does that have to do with my lungs?!?
Dr: Well, what if your child has asthma?
Me: If they have the same 'symptoms' I have, I imagine I'll tell them that yes, hard exercise makes you a bit short of breath, but keep running and it'll get easier.
Dr. What if it's worse? Don't you want to be able to educate them about it? Don't you want to be a good mother?
Me: If my hypothetical future child has asthma, I imagine that is something I'll be able to discuss with my hypothetical future child's doctor, what the hell?
Yeah, it's been a while, so I'm sure the exact phrasings are slightly off (except the bolded...he actually said that straight-up). But seriously wtf? I don't want meds for symptoms that don't affect me, so I'm a terrible mother to a nonexistent hypothetical future child?
That's because it's a joke.
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Sounds like a condescending prick.
Haven't come across a prick doctor but at the age of 10, I had a PA look at my charts and say "Are you proud of being overweight?". Safe to say I didn't look fat at all at that age and my growth after a year had me looking healthy and taller afterwards but I really think that a recommendation for a nutritionist might have been more helpful. Jerk...
I mean, yeah (although it wasn't surgery, I just wore a brace for a few years), but it was being pointed out as like "omg a doctor said that about a patient" and it's something I had said to my face when I was maybe 16?
He then said it wasn't related to scoliosis at all (which may be true) so he wouldn't help me fight with insurance to get a reduction covered, so that sucked.
well it's true...
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deleted407021
Heh-hehe-heh...medical jokes.
"Just stop doing anything that hurts."
This would be fine in some circumstances, but it seems like a lot of doctors don't understand that if their patient stopped doing any that hurt (relative to their current complaint) their patient would not be able to do anything. Including lay in bed not moving. I've had that same conversation with multiple doctors. It usually goes as follows:
Doctor: "well you need to stop doing things that hurt."
Me: "you're telling an 18 year old patient to stop exercising, participating in sports, using stairs, biking, driving, and walking?"
This would be fine in some circumstances, but it seems like a lot of doctors don't understand that if their patient stopped doing any that hurt (relative to their current complaint) their patient would not be able to do anything. Including lay in bed not moving. I've had that same conversation with multiple doctors. It usually goes as follows:
Doctor: "well you need to stop doing things that hurt."
Me: "you're telling an 18 year old patient to stop exercising, participating in sports, using stairs, biking, driving, and walking?"
I'm glad you get it!
