Crying during an interview?

[ExistenceIsTorment]

One of my closest friends recently interviewed at an MD school, and her mother's recent passing (< 1 yr) came up during the interview (in a respectful way), and she told me she ended up crying/sobbing for a good chunk of the time.

She's really bummed out her crying may have affected her interview negatively. I told her the adcoms probably understand, but I don't know anything about the MD interview process. She's going to be fine, right? I'd love to give her some words of encouragement backed up by more experienced people. Thanks.

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[pillowfighty]

One of my closest friends recently interviewed at an MD school, and her mother's recent passing (< 1 yr) came up during the interview (in a respectful way), and she told me she ended up crying/sobbing for a good chunk of the time.

She's really bummed out her crying may have affected her interview negatively. I told her the adcoms probably understand, but I don't know anything about the MD interview process. She's going to be fine, right? I'd love to give her some words of encouragement backed up by more experienced people. Thanks.

I guess it would depend on how hard she was crying. If it was a slight couple of tears and them offering her a tissue, I'd be more inclined to say that she'd be okay. But if she was full on sobbing and the interview couldn't progress, I would think the adcom would take that as not being able to handle death like doctors need to. Losing patients is very hard and you can't expect a pre-med to ever go through that experience, but if I were the adcom I'd think in my head "is she strong enough to handle the stress of medical school and be a good doctor afterwards, not letting the death of patients cloud her judgement?".

Also I would hope she used the scenario in which her mom was brought up as some sort of point to say how her passing has lead to inspire her or something of that nature, otherwise I'd find it a little cruel to bring it up in an interview (if they brought it up first).

Best of luck to her!

 

[You shall know the Truth]

Your her friend so encourage her, be there for her, and offer a shoulder to cry on. Medical school interviews are subjective. What one school likes another does not. One of mine a few years ago seemed doomed, but they accepted me weeks later. Others I had seemed great, but rejection.

 

[Goro]

Without being there, it's impossible to know. Our hearts go out to your friend, but it's best for her to put this interview behind her and prepare for the next one

 

[pillowfighty]

I interview applicants at my school and I completely disagree with this."

I understand where you are coming from, especially since you are an interviewer. But my point was that losing a parent and a patient both involve emotion, one obviously more extreme than the other. The problem is this emotional reaction happened in a professional setting during an interview for a medical school. If she was downright sobbing on the floor and the interview cannot continue, then that's where I would say what I said before, where the adcom is asking 'how is she going to handle death or emotion at all if she is breaking down at this professional occasion'. That's why I also said it would be a little cruel if the interviewer brought up her mother's death and made her have that reaction. I included 2 scenarios in my response. And the factor of hoping that she would talk about it in some sort of way where it can help her better care for patients.

I never said doctors cannot cry or be emotional about losing patients, they would be replaced by robots if that were the case. I'm saying that it would make sense for the adcom to think that they need to be able to handle it in a professional manner and use it in a humanizing way to connect with other patients later on and help them realize how valuable human life is.

 

[pillowfighty]

And to add up to it, I really feel for your friend. I interviewed for a research project and spoke about my kid brother's 2 open heart surgeries the past summer and it choked me up. It didn't negatively impact my chances and I did get into the research program! What has happened is in the past, and she should never feel sorry about being emotional about something so devastating as losing a mom.

My replies were only to help kind of guess her outcomes, and I said them because you're the third party in the situation. Merely trying to gauge her chances during that interview based on her actions. Regardless of what happened, she shouldn't feel ashamed for what happened and should allow her some time to heal. There's always more places to go and reach for too, so if this one doesn't work out, there's countless others. Don't give up hope!

 

[Lawpy]

Without being there, it's impossible to. Our hearts go out to your friend, but it's best for her to put this interview behind her and prepare for the next one

This is the best possible advice as we are otherwise just speculating on what could happen.

 

[pillowfighty]

This is the best possible advice as we are otherwise just speculating on what could happen.

exactly

 

[Princeton Medical Student]

I guess it would depend on how hard she was crying. If it was a slight couple of tears and them offering her a tissue, I'd be more inclined to say that she'd be okay. But if she was full on sobbing and the interview couldn't progress, I would think the adcom would take that as not being able to handle death like doctors need to. Losing patients is very hard and you can't expect a pre-med to ever go through that experience, but if I were the adcom I'd think in my head "is she strong enough to handle the stress of medical school and be a good doctor afterwards, not letting the death of patients cloud her judgement?".

Also I would hope she used the scenario in which her mom was brought up as some sort of point to say how her passing has lead to inspire her or something of that nature, otherwise I'd find it a little cruel to bring it up in an interview (if they brought it up first).

Best of luck to her!

Lol what.
As someone who has lost patients (0 for 3 in CPRs )and a parent, handling the death of a loved one isnt remotely comprable to handling the death of a patient.

 

[pillowfighty]

Lol what.
As someone who has lost patients (0 for 3 in CPRs )and a parent, handling the death of a loved one isnt remotely comprable to handling the death of a patient.

I clarified myself above

 

[Med Ed]

One of my closest friends recently interviewed at an MD school, and her mother's recent passing (< 1 yr) came up during the interview (in a respectful way), and she told me she ended up crying/sobbing for a good chunk of the time.

She's really bummed out her crying may have affected her interview negatively. I told her the adcoms probably understand, but I don't know anything about the MD interview process. She's going to be fine, right? I'd love to give her some words of encouragement backed up by more experienced people. Thanks.

It may not be fair, and it may not be right, but I don't think your friend did herself any favors. I have interviewed many applicants who brought up painful and traumatic experiences, and not one of them spent a good chunk of the time sobbing.

 

[curbsideconsult]

she told me she ended up crying/sobbing for a good chunk of the time.

As @Goro and many other adcoms have said before in other threads, interviewees are not the best judges of their own performance at interviews. What is your friend's definition of "sobbing"? Likely she shed a few tears, was handed a few tissues, and then the interview went on. I'm sure from your friend's perspective, though, she viewed herself as being a blubbering idiot as I think we all would judge ourselves in that situation. And as @cj_cregg said, if someone talked about their parent's very recent passing without tearing up at least a little bit, I'd be worried about sociopathy.

Maybe have her post on SDN herself if she's really that worried.

 

[pillowfighty]

It may not be fair, and it may not be right, but I don't think your friend did herself any favors. I have interviewed many applicants who brought up painful and traumatic experiences, and not one of them spent a good chunk of the time sobbing.

This is what I meant @cj_cregg

 

[RNthenDoc]

As I’ve said in prior topics, I have multiple classmates who lost it bawling in their interviews and got in.

This is a case where the sex of the applicant/interviewer likely plays a huge role, though.

 

[LM75]

You have to keep it professional in an interview; just like you have to keep it professional as the doctor.

 

[ExistenceIsTorment]

Thanks for the replies and helpful words, everyone. I've been consolidating her for the past week, and from what I hear a "good chunk of the time of the interview" was really just overblown in her head. The passing came up, she cried while answering some questions for the next couple of minutes, and that seems to be it. If that's what makes or breaks her app, I'm sure that's not a school she'd want to attend.