Dad in Dental School

[Doc Smile]

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I know these questions come up all the time (normally women asking for advice though 🙄). . . . . But, I recently found out my wife and I are going to be having a baby! Due in the middle of finals fall of my D2 year🙁. While this is really exciting. It is also really nerve wracking and scary. I am only 22 and been married less than a year. Ha, many changes in life right now: Dental School, marriage, now a child.

Anywho, If anyone else is experiencing this, has experienced this, has a child while in dental school, any advice is well recieved, believe me, I will need it!

feel free to PM me, drop a comment here, or check out the new blog I made to keep in touch with my family who is far away: [edit: URL removed for TOS violation]
Thank you faceless online friends.

 

[Doc Smile]

I know these questions come up all the time (normally women asking for advice though 🙄). . . . . But, I recently found out my wife and I are going to be having a baby! Due in the middle of finals fall of my D2 year🙁. While this is really exciting. It is also really nerve wracking and scary. I am only 22 and been married less than a year. Ha, many changes in life right now: Dental School, marriage, now a child.

Anywho, If anyone else is experiencing this, has experienced this, has a child while in dental school, any advice is well recieved, believe me, I will need it!

feel free to PM me, drop a comment here, or check out the new blog I made to keep in touch with my family who is far away: [edit: URL removed for TOS violation]

Thank you faceless online friends.

81 views. Not even one piece of advice or a bit of internet cynisism 🙁 letting me down SDN!

 

[pogue]

81 views. Not even one piece of advice or a bit of internet cynisism 🙁 letting me down SDN!

My advice to you is to accept EVERY offer that is made. People will say they will babysit, cook, clean, and all kinds of other stuff for you guys. It is not just talk- they are doing it because they understand what it is like to be a zombie for 6 months because your little crumb-cruncher does not want to sleep through the night. They are taking pity on you. Soak it up my friend. It will only happen with the first kid. If you have another, you are expected to perform without the training wheels.

How many people in your class have kids? I have two and I will be starting at IUSD next year.

 

[K9sbestfriend]

81 views. Not even one piece of advice or a bit of internet cynisism 🙁 letting me down SDN!

Ok. Here is some advice. Get on amazon and buy the book baby wise. I have two kids and we established a schedule like the book discusses and our kids both were sleeping through the night in 7-8 weeks of birth, taking good naps through out the day and eatng well at each feeding. The eat, wake, sleep shedule not only helps your baby get accustomed to a routine but it eliminates to a large extent the guessing you will have as new parents. Less guessing and more sleep as new parents means less stress for you as a dental student.

Also, we considered the negative opinions regarding schedules prior to the birth of our first child but we fortunately saw first hand the positive results of a baby on a schedule. Our kids are 3 and 4 now and if we had it to do again we would do the same thing and we would recommend it to anyone.

 

[Doc Smile]

My advice to you is to accept EVERY offer that is made. People will say they will babysit, cook, clean, and all kinds of other stuff for you guys. It is not just talk- they are doing it because they understand what it is like to be a zombie for 6 months because your little crumb-cruncher does not want to sleep through the night. They are taking pity on you. Soak it up my friend. It will only happen with the first kid. If you have another, you are expected to perform without the training wheels.

How many people in your class have kids? I have two and I will be starting at IUSD next year.

Surprisingly, there are quite a few people in our class with kids. There are about 10 mormon students, almost all of which have at least 1 kid, or, the second due next week like one friend of mine. On top of that, there are probs 5 or 6 other students with kids.

Thanks for the advice! I guess I will be calling all those people who offered to help my wife and I move and tell them to get there a$s in movin-mode

 

[Doc Smile]

Ok. Here is some advice. Get on amazon and buy the book baby wise. I have two kids and we established a schedule like the book discusses and our kids both were sleeping through the night in 7-8 weeks of birth, taking good naps through out the day and eatng well at each feeding. The eat, wake, sleep shedule not only helps your baby get accustomed to a routine but it eliminates to a large extent the guessing you will have as new parents. Less guessing and more sleep as new parents means less stress for you as a dental student.

Also, we considered the negative opinions regarding schedules prior to the birth of our first child but we fortunately saw first hand the positive results of a baby on a schedule. Our kids are 3 and 4 now and if we had it to do again we would do the same thing and we would recommend it to anyone.

Purchased! Thanks for the advice!

 

[slm266]

Just found out my wife is prego with our first. Baby should come around January 4 after my first semester.

 

[Doc Smile]

Just found out my wife is prego with our first. Baby should come around January 4 after my first semester.

Congrats! We are all in for some tough times!

 

[kitejunky27]

As long as you guys are efficient you will be fine. The one person in our class who just had baby before school started seems to be doing really great academically. I guess the baby keeps your priorities focused.

 

[Philippines03j]

2 kids here... Just had the last in January.

I am making it...barely Talk to me about it after STI tomorrow...didn't want to let you down!👍

 

[Noble6]

Is your wife going to stay home with the baby or work? Her taking care of the baby will ease your load quite a bit but it'll still be tough.

Not going to lie to you, my grades when down after we had our second during first semester of D1 year. Luckily I don't want to specialize! That doesn't mean it'll happen to you but you just have less time to study with kids, especially when you're adjusting to a new baby!

Good luck! Being a parent is really rewarding and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

[Doc Smile]

Is your wife going to stay home with the baby or work? Her taking care of the baby will ease your load quite a bit but it'll still be tough.

Not going to lie to you, my grades when down after we had our second during first semester of D1 year. Luckily I don't want to specialize! That doesn't mean it'll happen to you but you just have less time to study with kids, especially when you're adjusting to a new baby!

Good luck! Being a parent is really rewarding and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thanks! My wife is working full time now. Once she pops, she will be a full time mom! I'm also not planning on specializing so no worries on the grades, even though I am still a gunner

 

[rph3664]

NO! NO! NO! DO NOT use "Babywise" as a parenting guide! Google the author, Gary Ezzo, and if you still don't believe me, mention this on a pediatrics forum.

Babies have died because their parents followed this philosophy too strictly.

As for parenting in dental school, there's a dentist in my town who was pregnant when she got her bachelor's degree, and went to dental school as a single parent (she never married her son's father). It can be done.

 

[Doc Smile]

NO! NO! NO! DO NOT use "Babywise" as a parenting guide! Google the author, Gary Ezzo, and if you still don't believe me, mention this on a pediatrics forum.

Babies have died because their parents followed this philosophy too strictly.

As for parenting in dental school, there's a dentist in my town who was pregnant when she got her bachelor's degree, and went to dental school as a single parent (she never married her son's father). It can be done.

Wow! Who knew. crazy practices out there.

 

[phremius]

congrats! Though it'll be tough, definitely do-able. Had some classmates who were fathers, good time management and they all got through it unscathed.

now having said that, dear god.... 22 and a baby?? I swear the midwest is like, a whole different country!

 

[wodehouse]

We had our first baby the summer before dental school. First term of D1 was a lot of late nights, rocking the baby to sleep with one arm and flipping through powerpoint slides with the other. I got a lot done with the time I didn't waste sleeping.

Use your time at school well and the hours between when the baby sleeps and you sleep efficiently, and you can be successful.

 

[wizardsradio]

books are okay... BUT my wife and i have used different sleep/scheduling/eating techniques for all three kids... every baby is a little different. As you can see its not too bad time wise since i still have time to waste on SDN and have 3 kids (and a test to take in 2 1/2 hours)... I hope your baby time doesn't cut into your study guide making time for the class.

 

[rph3664]

You folks have never stopped by a medical school, have you? I had several classes with medical (and dental) students, and that part of the room looked like a Lamaze class.

 

[NAVY DDS 2010]

Don't worry. You will be fine. I had twin daughters last year. I did take a leave of absence from school, but that was because one of my daughters and my wife both had cardiac problems develop that was interfering with my ability to concentrate on tasks at hand. I needed to concentrate on the health of my family. The school was 100% behind my decision. Since things have resolved, school has been very managable. I am so glad I have children now. It breaks up the day and gives me a mental break away from dental school. Plus, getting a warm smile, hug and a kiss from your child really warms the heart. As you already stated, you have classmates who have children. So, you already know you are not in this alone. You will survive and as someone already stated, if you prioritize and take advantage of all your spare time, you can even excell. Some of the best students at our school are parents. One of my friends had his 2nd child in the 2nd yr of d-school and was still able to climb from 13th in the class to 2nd in the class by the time he had to apply for ortho residency.

As long as you buckle down, prioritize your time and love your wife and child with all your heart, then you will be fine. You are not the first and will not be the last to be blessed with a child in dental school. We adjust and overcome the hurdles and in the end we become dentists.

Congrats Daddy! Good luck.

If you want specifics on how I managed things, shoot me a PM.

 

[rph3664]

Wow! Who knew. crazy practices out there.

Send the book back immediately, or cancel shipping if you can, and demand a refund.

 

[Doc Smile]

Send the book back immediately, or cancel shipping if you can, and demand a refund.

Don't worry, I canceled the order. Any other recommendations?

 

[Doc Smile]

Don't worry. You will be fine. I had twin daughters last year. I did take a leave of absence from school, but that was because one of my daughters and my wife both had cardiac problems develop that was interfering with my ability to concentrate on tasks at hand. I needed to concentrate on the health of my family. The school was 100% behind my decision. Since things have resolved, school has been very managable. I am so glad I have children now. It breaks up the day and gives me a mental break away from dental school. Plus, getting a warm smile, hug and a kiss from your child really warms the heart. As you already stated, you have classmates who have children. So, you already know you are not in this alone. You will survive and as someone already stated, if you prioritize and take advantage of all your spare time, you can even excell. Some of the best students at our school are parents. One of my friends had his 2nd child in the 2nd yr of d-school and was still able to climb from 13th in the class to 2nd in the class by the time he had to apply for ortho residency.

As long as you buckle down, prioritize your time and love your wife and child with all your heart, then you will be fine. You are not the first and will not be the last to be blessed with a child in dental school. We adjust and overcome the hurdles and in the end we become dentists.

Congrats Daddy! Good luck.

If you want specifics on how I managed things, shoot me a PM.

Thanks for the optimism! I am actually kinda worried that I will stay in my gunner attitude and put so much more focus on school than on my kid and wife - being an absent father, which is my number one parenting fear. . . .

 

[Doc Smile]

I hope your baby time doesn't cut into your study guide making time for the class.

Oh, I wont stop making outlines for the class! Why do you think everyone is going to pass this year?

Except the times when they think they are downloading a "awesome, ultimate STI Study guide" and I just Rick Roll the whole class <- true story SDN!

 

[K2 Dental]

I did not have kids in dschool but I do have 2 kids now.

One of my best friends finished dental school with 6 kids and now has 8. It can be done. Your wife will have to be the one to do most if not all of the work. I really see no other way. As long as she is okay with that for a few years then you will be fine.

My friend with all the kids has an amazing wife who somehow handles everything. My wife and I were not that optimistic so we waited til after school for kids. It is hard. They are a lot of work but worth it!

Good luck.

 

[K9sbestfriend]

NO! NO! NO! DO NOT use "Babywise" as a parenting guide! Google the author, Gary Ezzo, and if you still don't believe me, mention this on a pediatrics forum.

Babies have died because their parents followed this philosophy too strictly.

Yeah, you still have to apply common sense when doing anything. This is exactly the type of negative remarks you will hear that I warned you about. Babies have also been killed because parents have a baby sitter, or they lay them down on their tummy instead of their back or visa versa. In my family and close friends we know 6 families who used the baby wise books along with some common sense and all their children have done wonderfully. That's first hand experience not something I read on google search.

 

[NAVY DDS 2010]

I did not have kids in dschool but I do have 2 kids now.

One of my best friends finished dental school with 6 kids and now has 8. It can be done. Your wife will have to be the one to do most if not all of the work. I really see no other way. As long as she is okay with that for a few years then you will be fine.

My friend with all the kids has an amazing wife who somehow handles everything. My wife and I were not that optimistic so we waited til after school for kids. It is hard. They are a lot of work but worth it!

Good luck.

It by no means is necessary that your wife take most of the care of your kids. I know she is going to be a stay at home mom, but by no means is it necessary. My wife is a pharmacist (PharmD) and is just finishing her MBA at the same time I am getting my DDS. The girls go to a Montessori school for a portion of the day. The rest of the time she and I tag team the kids and taking care of the house we own. Having a family takes a lot of time, but I wouldn't say it is hard work. It is all about prioritizing and working your schedule around your family. I may sleep less to compensate for the time I take for the family during the day, but that is a decision I made since I do not study while the kids are awake because family is more important to me. I still had a good average for the year. Beign a parent in school is very managable and you don't have to sacrifice too much as long as you prioritize and take advantage of your time!

 

[rph3664]

Thanks for the optimism! I am actually kinda worried that I will stay in my gunner attitude and put so much more focus on school than on my kid and wife - being an absent father, which is my number one parenting fear. . . .

That's refreshing to see. Far too many men INTEND to be absentee fathers! 😡

 

[Doc Smile]

That's refreshing to see. Far too many men INTEND to be absentee fathers! 😡

Intend to be!? Why? Why have a kid if you aren't going to be a parent?

This is part of the reason dentistry appealed so much to me when I was still searching for a career in high school. Besides my odd passion with improving people's oral health and 'helping peeps' . . . What better career is there when you get to take awesome vacations with your kids and be able to alter your work schedule to pick them up from school every day (especially whilst driving this car: http://www.sportscarrentlasvegas.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/aston-martin-vanquish.jpg 😉)

If I wanted to be an absent father, I would have became a neurosurgeon!

But it still scares the living crap out of me when there are those times where school will have to come first. Like studying for boards or finals. Or rearranging my finals schedule next year because my wifes due date is in the middle of them!

Has anyone else figured out how to manage those super important & stressful times?

 

[rph3664]

I don't understand that either. There was a man at my last job who, while his wife was pregnant, made it very clear that the baby would be entirely her responsibility, and he wasn't even planning to support this child, that he was living with, financially! He did seem to step up to the plate a little bit, but still referred to his daughter as "it", not "she." His wife is a nurse practitioner, so she is not a stupid woman either.

There are a surprising number of men who go into marriage intending to treat their wives poorly after the kids arrive, so they will be a divorced dad (i.e. no responsibility beyond writing a child support check, maybe) and/or they plan to disappear when the kids are babies, and then make the Big Hero Dad Comeback when they're teenagers, presumably so they can party with them and perhaps even sleep with their female friends. 👎

And then there was a man I once dated who said he wanted to be reincarnated as an inner city black guy, so he could impregnate and abandon women without consequences. Hello, since when do you have to be black to do that? This was one of a multitude of reasons why I wouldn't have sex with him. He wanted children, but not the kind you actually have to care for. I suggested a sperm bank, and he had considered that but decided not to because it didn't involve having sex with the women.

I know another woman whose husband took a job requiring international travel, and he did this for as long as there was a child in diapers. They're one of those couples that I just don't understand why they stay together.

If a man decides to pick and choose which parts of parenthood he wants to do, his wife will eventually decide for him, and chances are, he won't even get to do the fun parts either.

 

[Doc Smile]

I don't understand that either. There was a man at my last job who, while his wife was pregnant, made it very clear that the baby would be entirely her responsibility, and he wasn't even planning to support this child, that he was living with, financially! He did seem to step up to the plate a little bit, but still referred to his daughter as "it", not "she." His wife is a nurse practitioner, so she is not a stupid woman either.

There are a surprising number of men who go into marriage intending to treat their wives poorly after the kids arrive, so they will be a divorced dad (i.e. no responsibility beyond writing a child support check, maybe) and/or they plan to disappear when the kids are babies, and then make the Big Hero Dad Comeback when they're teenagers, presumably so they can party with them and perhaps even sleep with their female friends. 👎

And then there was a man I once dated who said he wanted to be reincarnated as an inner city black guy, so he could impregnate and abandon women without consequences. Hello, since when do you have to be black to do that? This was one of a multitude of reasons why I wouldn't have sex with him. He wanted children, but not the kind you actually have to care for. I suggested a sperm bank, and he had considered that but decided not to because it didn't involve having sex with the women.

I know another woman whose husband took a job requiring international travel, and he did this for as long as there was a child in diapers. They're one of those couples that I just don't understand why they stay together.

If a man decides to pick and choose which parts of parenthood he wants to do, his wife will eventually decide for him, and chances are, he won't even get to do the fun parts either.

That disgusts me. wow. pathetic

 

[rph3664]

That disgusts me. wow. pathetic

We were discussing this kind of thing on another board a while back, and there were posters who described things like a child who called the police because there was a man in the house (he didn't know his daddy actually lived there!) and another family where a teenage girl told her dad that if he didn't stop hanging out with his friends so much and start spending more time at home, she would file sexual abuse charges against him so he COULDN'T come home. The poster said that if there was ever a case of justified false sexual abuse charges, this would have been it. 😱

And I once saw a "Donahue" show, obviously quite some time ago, where a wife decided to take matters into her own hands. She printed up some "Missing Person" posters, with her husband's picture and description on them, and she and her friends PLASTERED the town with them. Imagine his shock when he stopped to buy gas and discovered this!

Lest anyone accuse me of man-bashing, there are also plenty of women who dump the kids on her parents and run around like nothing ever happened too.

 

[Philippines03j]

Intend to be!? Why? Why have a kid if you aren't going to be a parent?

This is part of the reason dentistry appealed so much to me when I was still searching for a career in high school. Besides my odd passion with improving people's oral health and 'helping peeps' . . . What better career is there when you get to take awesome vacations with your kids and be able to alter your work schedule to pick them up from school every day (especially whilst driving this car: http://www.sportscarrentlasvegas.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/aston-martin-vanquish.jpg 😉)

If I wanted to be an absent father, I would have became a neurosurgeon!

But it still scares the living crap out of me when there are those times where school will have to come first. Like studying for boards or finals. Or rearranging my finals schedule next year because my wifes due date is in the middle of them!

Has anyone else figured out how to manage those super important & stressful times?

If I know I have a busy test week coming up (this week 😀) I will make sure that before I start putting a lot of effort into studying that I take time to spend with the kids and especially the wife. If I need to study the saturday before that means taking thursday and friday to spend time watch movies, go to the park, help with some deep cleaning of the apartment, etc...

It is also important, for both wife and kids, that when I come home from school whether it be at 2:30 pm or 7pm to spend a solid hour talking (not about school😉) and playing. This helps them and me. The hour does not always make up for everything but it shows them that you care and want to spend time with them despite your busy schedule.

Sometimes you end up spending late nights (till 2am or 3am) when normally you could have been done at 11pm or 12am. This is a small sacrifice that is necessary because I feel like missing time with the kids is a BIGGER sacrifice.

**Makes the wife feel good if you change a few diapers while you are home too!😉

 

[7 Iron]

Do you guys think it would be easier to have a kid during D3 or D4 since that time is mostly clinical?

Also a little off topic but: that was a pretty sweet groom's cake you had Doc!

 

[Doc Smile]

Do you guys think it would be easier to have a kid during D3 or D4 since that time is mostly clinical?

Also a little off topic but: that was a pretty sweet groom's cake you had Doc!

Thanks! My wife's best friend made it for us. I think it would be easier to have a kid in 3rd or 4th year. No matter when you have a kid while in D-school will affect your time, obviously. We just want to have our first child now while we can get the benefits from the government before actually having an income (like WIC). There are people in my class that have multiple kids and practically bathe in government money: Food stamps, WIC, etc etc. It also depends on your age and how many kids you want to have. We want to have 3 kiddos running around by the time we are 30. So, 3 kids in 8 years.

 

[K2 Dental]

I don't understand that either. There was a man at my last job who, while his wife was pregnant, made it very clear that the baby would be entirely her responsibility, and he wasn't even planning to support this child, that he was living with, financially! He did seem to step up to the plate a little bit, but still referred to his daughter as "it", not "she." His wife is a nurse practitioner, so she is not a stupid woman either.

There are a surprising number of men who go into marriage intending to treat their wives poorly after the kids arrive, so they will be a divorced dad (i.e. no responsibility beyond writing a child support check, maybe) and/or they plan to disappear when the kids are babies, and then make the Big Hero Dad Comeback when they're teenagers, presumably so they can party with them and perhaps even sleep with their female friends. 👎

And then there was a man I once dated who said he wanted to be reincarnated as an inner city black guy, so he could impregnate and abandon women without consequences. Hello, since when do you have to be black to do that? This was one of a multitude of reasons why I wouldn't have sex with him. He wanted children, but not the kind you actually have to care for. I suggested a sperm bank, and he had considered that but decided not to because it didn't involve having sex with the women.

I know another woman whose husband took a job requiring international travel, and he did this for as long as there was a child in diapers. They're one of those couples that I just don't understand why they stay together.

If a man decides to pick and choose which parts of parenthood he wants to do, his wife will eventually decide for him, and chances are, he won't even get to do the fun parts either.

I have no idea where this post came from or how we got here.

 

[Doc Smile]

I have no idea where this post came from or how we got here.

Intend to be!? Why? Why have a kid if you aren't going to be a parent? ...

If I wanted to be an absent father, I would have became a neurosurgeon!...

The post right before his post🙄! About people who have kids intending NOT to be a good father 😉

 

[ExtraSourCream]

wrap that !@%* up son. Condoms, they work! Get the really thin ones. You can do it.

 

[Doc Smile]

wrap that !@%* up son. Condoms, they work! Get the really thin ones. You can do it.

Um. Condoms are the devil. I dont believe in contraceptive 😉

But your suggestion is a little late. I have 9 months without even thinking about condoms. Plus, it was a planned pregnancy, it just the due date is 2 weeks earlier than we hoped - middle of finals week.