Dating in Med School for AAs

[klassicBeauty]

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awesome. I'm lightskinned as well.



well.. she was angry. even you said she got emotional. and i'm definitely not intimidated by 'angry black women'... i just steer clear of them. that's all. why can't i? some guys like middle eastern females, others like hot brazilian chicks (ok maybe all of us do.. lol) and others have a preference of at least them having to be a nice individual.


edit: maybe the 3 things i listed are just some of my favorite types lmao

Well, I do not think she was "angry" but that is just me and all the guys ganged up on her. I date outside my race, my bf now is not black, but I would never gang up on a person for having different views like you guys have done here

Plus, you do not help it by coming in and perpetuating what the other ppl did and said

I just feel if she had said she wanted to date outside her race or if she had said she has dated outside her race no one would have said anything to her because that is what 99.9% of the people have said or posted on here. I just feel she was singled-out because she disagreed with the rest. JMO

Also, I am multi-racial but I am not light-complexioned, I am more like Halle Berry color than Alicia Keys

 

[Winter Wind]

In response to Klassic Beauty...I thought that most of the others responses were much more respectable than EWOs. It's too bad she erased her posts.

Also, I agree that most people date within the race. However, that does not mean that they have a "date only this race policy," as EWO was mentioning. We could've missed a point, but perhaps she missed our point as well.

I think most of our point is that when you bar others simply for the shade of skin, you are missing out on others that may potentially be good for you. I'm all for black people marrying black people, but color does not dictate if that person will be good to or for you. If she wants to date only black guys, that is her decision and heck, that's probably +1 for most of the guys on this forum.

However, you have to call it what it is....and it is not open (as it seemed she wanted it to be)...and it does not sound more like a preference (also where she seemed to get offended)....as she said, before she erased it, she has a "date black men ONLY policy," so what would you like us to call that? I don't think many people were trying to upset her, they were just calling it what it was and it seemed she wanted to practice that policy and be considered open minded at the same time. Confining yourself in a box is not being open minded....I am sorry. This is not to offend anyone, just stating the obvious.

On another note, now that I am in Dent school, it doesn't look all that bad for professional black women. Most of the women I see are dating other health care professionals and don't seem to be having a problem with guys (at least from what I'm observing). Ladies, I think if you are great women and somewhat attractive then you will have no difficulties in dating when you are in professional school. Therefore, work on you and stop worrying so much lol. Things will work out and from my experience it isn't that much different than other dating scenes. I do see a potential problem that you could meet a guy that is very driven and could neglect you at times because he is studying, but hey you're in professional school too so it will probably be mutual.

Maybe some other people that are in med/dent school can share their experiences.

 

[vnicolas]

What are your thoughts on about the recent finding that 75 percent of black women are single?

 

[Winter Wind]

What are your thoughts on about the recent finding that 75 percent of black women are single?

Wow, really? I don't know. I think I will wait for the women to say why they think that is, before I say anything lol. I think that is a safer bet 😀.

 

[Nasrudin]

Wow. 20 pages deep. Interesting conversation still it seems.

What I think about it. Is confusing to communicate. Been with my wife--a black woman--since 96. Lived in Cali. Now DC. Go to an HBCU. Can't imagine anyone even thinking themselves into a box of less potential action with the opposite sex.

Doesn't anyone. Just need to be treated right.

I can see someone being more comfortable with someone who shares more of their experiences. Makes sense.

But then. I just don't see someone with a narrow criteria complaining about not having enough action. Do you want to get down. Or do you want to uphold a standard or your own creation.

Also. There must some confusion about this that pertains to all of our separate locations. Lookin around DC. Black people would have innumerable opportunities to meet each other. So that could mismatch our respective ideas on it.

There's also just something to be said for experience. You're not going to be comfortable without enough of it. And you certainly won't obtain it without trying.

I'm so comfortable around black folks. Sometimes when I go to the bathroom at school and look in the mirror....I'm like...Holy Crap! I'm white. I totally forgot.

It makes it strange trying to picture how people look at other people of different colors and don't consider them attractive enough to consider getting with. Doesn't make any sense to me.

Fine is fine. Cool is cool.

 

[MEDCandy]

awesome. I'm lightskinned as well.



well.. she was angry. even you said she got emotional. and i'm definitely not intimidated by 'angry black women'... i just steer clear of them. that's all. why can't i? some guys like middle eastern females, others like hot brazilian chicks (ok maybe all of us do.. lol) and others have a preference of at least them having to be a nice individual.


edit: maybe the 3 things i listed are just some of my favorite types lmao

I can't see why anyone would date an angry person lol male, female, white or black ... So I don't blame you for steering clear of that 👍

 

[klassicBeauty]

In response to Klassic Beauty...I thought that most of the others responses were much more respectable than EWOs. It's too bad she erased her posts.

Also, I agree that most people date within the race. However, that does not mean that they have a "date only this race policy," as EWO was mentioning. We could've missed a point, but perhaps she missed our point as well.

I think most of our point is that when you bar others simply for the shade of skin, you are missing out on others that may potentially be good for you. I'm all for black people marrying black people, but color does not dictate if that person will be good to or for you. If she wants to date only black guys, that is her decision and heck, that's probably +1 for most of the guys on this forum.

However, you have to call it what it is....and it is not open (as it seemed she wanted it to be)...and it does not sound more like a preference (also where she seemed to get offended)....as she said, before she erased it, she has a "date black men ONLY policy," so what would you like us to call that? I don't think many people were trying to upset her, they were just calling it what it was and it seemed she wanted to practice that policy and be considered open minded at the same time. Confining yourself in a box is not being open minded....I am sorry. This is not to offend anyone, just stating the obvious.

On another note, now that I am in Dent school, it doesn't look all that bad for professional black women. Most of the women I see are dating other health care professionals and don't seem to be having a problem with guys (at least from what I'm observing). Ladies, I think if you are great women and somewhat attractive then you will have no difficulties in dating when you are in professional school. Therefore, work on you and stop worrying so much lol. Things will work out and from my experience it isn't that much different than other dating scenes. I do see a potential problem that you could meet a guy that is very driven and could neglect you at times because he is studying, but hey you're in professional school too so it will probably be mutual.

Maybe some other people that are in med/dent school can share their experiences.

We will have to agree to disagree. Just from my vantage point I did not see her disrespect. I saw one poster that did not share everyone else opinion and got clamored for it, much like a Democrat showing up at a Republican rally mistakenly, or vice verse. Also, I think she just meant if her preference was to date only blacks or whatever that she essentially is doing what most people do and did not like how you all were calling it close-minded because if it is close-minded then you have to say that everyone that date within their race is close-minded which certainly is not true

I wish she had left her post up because I believe on one she corrected herself and said its a "preference" because of familiarity. I think some black men may have got bashed or may get bashed by people for dating outside their race which is sad but I think that hurt or frustration was put off on her and that was wrong because as her post said, she said "do whatever you want" but for her she preferred black men ---paraphrasing but that's neither here nor there now since she removed the posts.

I agree, at my school and the adjacent professional schools, no one seem to have any problem with dating at all regardless of race!

I really think the male men who went in on her did a disservice to themselves as you do not have to belittle someone or slyly stereotype them into an "angry black woman" just because they do not share the same opinion.

I still think her point was missed but that is just my opinion


Hope everything goes well in Dental school!?!

 

[klassicBeauty]

I can't see why anyone would date an angry person lol male, female, white or black ... So I don't blame you for steering clear of that 👍

MEDCandy, I think he was being smart and was childishly dissing the poster. I did not see the humor in his post nor do I agree with it.

 

[klassicBeauty]

Wow. 20 pages deep. Interesting conversation still it seems.

What I think about it. Is confusing to communicate. Been with my wife--a black woman--since 96. Lived in Cali. Now DC. Go to an HBCU. Can't imagine anyone even thinking themselves into a box of less potential action with the opposite sex.

Doesn't anyone. Just need to be treated right.

I can see someone being more comfortable with someone who shares more of their experiences. Makes sense.

But then. I just don't see someone with a narrow criteria complaining about not having enough action. Do you want to get down. Or do you want to uphold a standard or your own creation.

Also. There must some confusion about this that pertains to all of our separate locations. Lookin around DC. Black people would have innumerable opportunities to meet each other. So that could mismatch our respective ideas on it.

There's also just something to be said for experience. You're not going to be comfortable without enough of it. And you certainly won't obtain it without trying.

I'm so comfortable around black folks. Sometimes when I go to the bathroom at school and look in the mirror....I'm like...Holy Crap! I'm white. I totally forgot.

It makes it strange trying to picture how people look at other people of different colors and don't consider them attractive enough to consider getting with. Doesn't make any sense to me.

Fine is fine. Cool is cool.

I agree. Sounds like my parents who have been together for years. Although I think you missed the point or maybe just read the men's replies. Most of the people on here agree to date whomever you want.

I think this thread was started because there are so few black medical students period and so some feel the options are low and wanted to know what advice was available.

Mostly the majority or Caucasian race do not have to worry about so few numbers which is good but as I see it as black medical students we should not worry about the dating scene in medical school either as there are plenty of professionals of all races available.

However, one female black poster posted that she too agreed with date whomever you want policy but unfortunately a lot of the black males on here went in attack mode at her for saying she prefer and probably would only date a black male.

So there you have it, nothing here folks, just one person opinion got trumped on but in essence we agree with you Nasrudin.


KB

 

[Nasrudin]

I agree. Sounds like my parents who have been together for years. Although I think you missed the point or maybe just read the men's replies. Most of the people on here agree to date whomever you want.

I think this thread was started because there are so few black medical students period and so some feel the options are low and wanted to know what advice was available.

Mostly the majority or Caucasian race do not have to worry about so few numbers which is good but as I see it as black medical students we should not worry about the dating scene in medical school either as there are plenty of professionals of all races available.

However, one female black poster posted that she too agreed with date whomever you want policy but unfortunately a lot of the black males on here went in attack mode at her for saying she prefer and probably would only date a black male.

So there you have it, nothing here folks, just one person opinion got trumped on but in essence we agree with you Nasrudin.


KB

Right. I mean. I don't even have an opinion what someone else should do. I would guess some of my colleagues would agree with that poster.

Maybe they want to marry someone of their own race. I don't have opinions about such things.

It's just when I see my wife walk across the room. I want to make love to her. At the speed of instinct. The thought bypasses any socialized construct.

So. That's what I'm curious about. How people think about it. How do they come up with reasons to not fall in love with whatever nice, attractive person that crosses their path in life.

And why do they?

Either way. We're a long way from brown people stop making brown people and white people making white people. So if a mixed up mocha-pocalypse is disturbing to anyone they needn't worry.

Just come to DC. Like one of the other posters said. My wife and I attract stares like we're some kind of zoo exhibit. F'n Civil War town can have it's country self.

I'm back West as soon as I'm able.

 

[Nasrudin]

I guess my other thought is this.

Cities like Atlanta and DC are sweet for educated socially mobile black folk to meet and mingle etc. And if that's what you want. To be, for a change, like me. In the midst of a wide selection of your own kind. You should pack your stuff and move to one of these places.

Ironic though. In these places. That a brother only just that side of honkey like me from a genetics stand point. Probably has more relatives in common from the old country with me. Than with other darker folks, could easily walk down the street with my beautiful coffee brown wife and not get the disdain we get. But the nodding approval of a strong black brother keepin it real.

Instead. What you get for anyone daring to walk down the same street in these country-@ss places under the arm of someone across the color line is a mixture of unease and hostility and judgement. Forget about it if your open and gay. You get the church scorn too. And Jesus knows. There's plenty of it in these places.

So. No. Our little pow wow of open-ness is not even remotely the majority. We only learn to pretend things in certain circles.

You date outside of your race at your own risk in America. And in my experiences the best places for brown on brown are some of the worse places for pink on brown. Or man on man. Or whatever doesn't fit the program.

I've been all over this country. And three places I've had to stand toe to toe with strangers whose violent urges were projected against my wife and i for no reason--Atlanta, DC, and Oakland. And lucky for me I'm 6'5'' 240 and don't back down when threatened or I might've been assaulted or worse my wife would've been in worse danger. (Or if they knew I cant' fight for ****🙂.)

Am I keepin it real enough?

 

[DescartesK]

So I have been reading this thread since it was started in 2007, albeit not literally, and its actually interesting the myriad of opinions that have been expressed here.

Not trying to sidetrack the discussion here....what do you, African American males and females think about dating African men or women??
I have tried and it hasnt worked. I would love to settle with one but it seems there are lots of issues between the two cultures. Sad and Ironic.

Anyone?

 

[DescartesK]

I can relate to that and may you feel sometimes you dont get enough support from your own people, let alone hers?

I have to remark that you express yourself a little too abstract or subliminal at times. Are you a literary major? editor of classical literature? or are you just that versatile in this language.

I mean that as a complement...english is my third language but I do appreciate thoughts that are expressed stylistically. As long as the points get across that is...

I guess my other thought is this.

Cities like Atlanta and DC are sweet for educated socially mobile black folk to meet and mingle etc. And if that's what you want. To be, for a change, like me. In the midst of a wide selection of your own kind. You should pack your stuff and move to one of these places.

Ironic though. In these places. That a brother only just that side of honkey like me from a genetics stand point. Probably has more relatives in common from the old country with me. Than with other darker folks, could easily walk down the street with my beautiful coffee brown wife and not get the disdain we get. But the nodding approval of a strong black brother keepin it real.

Instead. What you get for anyone daring to walk down the same street in these country-@ss places under the arm of someone across the color line is a mixture of unease and hostility and judgement. Forget about it if your open and gay. You get the church scorn too. And Jesus knows. There's plenty of it in these places.

So. No. Our little pow wow of open-ness is not even remotely the majority. We only learn to pretend things in certain circles.

You date outside of your race at your own risk in America. And in my experiences the best places for brown on brown are some of the worse places for pink on brown. Or man on man. Or whatever doesn't fit the program.

I've been all over this country. And three places I've had to stand toe to toe with strangers whose violent urges were projected against my wife and i for no reason--Atlanta, DC, and Oakland. And lucky for me I'm 6'5'' 240 and don't back down when threatened or I might've been assaulted or worse my wife would've been in worse danger. (Or if they knew I cant' fight for ****🙂.)

Am I keepin it real enough?

 

[ineed2stpsmurfn]

MEDCandy, I think he was being smart and was childishly dissing the poster. I did not see the humor in his post nor do I agree with it.

first of all, thx medcandy lol.


secondly, i wasn't being smart... i save that for my anatomy class. childish? i'm sorry... just because i dont agree with you doesn't make me childish. and luckily, other people can see the humor in part of my post while understanding the big picture even though you are incapable of it. At least i didn't need you to agree i guess...


anyways i think that yea we just need to agree to disagree on this one cause i'm right and you're wrong lol.

 

[missdentista]

So I have been reading this thread since it was started in 2007, albeit not literally, and its actually interesting the myriad of opinions that have been expressed here.

Not trying to sidetrack the discussion here....what do you, African American males and females think about dating African men or women??
I have tried and it hasnt worked. I would love to settle with one but it seems there are lots of issues between the two cultures. Sad and Ironic.

Anyone?

I'm black and dental hygienist, and a Kenyan dental student expressed interest. It was VERY awkward, but it seemed like it was only on my side of the "relationship." He could care less, but I honestly was a little afraid of the whole cultural clash thing even more so that when I dated a white guy (though it seems like the outside world cared more about the white guy). I was just plain NERVOUS especially with meeting his family and such.

 

[hitsugaaya]

I'm black and dental hygienist, and a Kenyan dental student expressed interest. It was VERY awkward, but it seemed like it was only on my side of the "relationship." He could care less, but I honestly was a little afraid of the whole cultural clash thing even more so that when I dated a white guy (though it seems like the outside world cared more about the white guy). I was just plain NERVOUS especially with meeting his family and such.

I have been going reading this thread for a bit now and was keeping my thoughts to myself because I am not actually AA but just plain African in America. For one thing, I was just curious on how you knew there would be culture clash without giving it a chance? Or perhaps you are speaking from past experiences. Whichever way, I see it as you could have given it a shot instead of feeling VERY AWKWARD about this human being expressing interest in you.

I personally think alot of people, maybe because they grew up in the states and have it ingrained in them, they have developed some sort of a complex and automatically assume someone is not interested in them because of their skin color. Now I am sure that there are many people who do not date outside their race, and thats fine, but not everyone does not. I think people just need to chill a bit and focus more on PERSONALITY and COMMON INTERESTS, and not make race such a big factor. Someone mentioned earlier about preferences, and that is totally fine, history has show my preference is not usually black males but I never kick anyone to the curb just based on that. And i do believe that in judging guys who have issues with interracial relations, typically those that are well travelled, and have lived abroad in a place with races other than themselves, or are interested in issues like diversity and such typically don't care about race and are more interested in the girl herself. Now the only way to judge that would be if you knew them for a while, but if you are in a med sch class and tring to date within your class, then you have lots of time to judge that in your classmates.

I am definitely not the stereotypical girl in that I see no problem in asking a guy to do things like hangout or grab coffee or even study together, and this can help gauge their interest in me. If they are interested, they take the next step. So girls if you see a guy you are interested in, you can drop hints no matter the race, and the worse thing that could be said is no. It may be therapeutic to talk about how there are no black men in medical school dating black girls, or whatever, but you should not go into a state of discouragement just based on that.

And if all fails, theres always internet dating

PS: I started dating one of my classmates recently, and the fact that he is very compatible with me, and we have lots of common interests and have fun together gets first priority over us being an interracial and intercultural couple.

Ok I'm done

 

[missdentista]

I have been going reading this thread for a bit now and was keeping my thoughts to myself because I am not actually AA but just plain African in America. For one thing, I was just curious on how you knew there would be culture clash without giving it a chance? Or perhaps you are speaking from past experiences. Whichever way, I see it as you could have given it a shot instead of feeling VERY AWKWARD about this human being expressing interest in you.

I was just saying how I felt. I've had a lot experience with African guys being a resident assistant for a few years in international housing, and it generally wasn't pleasant. I didn't know there would be a cultural clash. I just felt nervous. I appreciate your honest comments though. I date all kinds of guys white, asian, mixed, ect. But "talking to" African and/or African American guys tends to have bad a outcome, so I guess you could say it has affected me.

I hope your current relationship goes well and more AA women find lasting love in the future.

 

[curious lately]

So I have been reading this thread since it was started in 2007

Wow! I started this thread before I entered med school and now I'm bout to leave. Who would have thought it would last this long? Thanks to all who have contributed with their insights over the years, I haven't been following, but I know it's helped a lot of people to discuss these issues. God bless. 😀

 

[nygiants fan]

Haha this thread is quite interesting. I just came upon it. It looks like it's been going on for a while so I'm obliged to contribute. African American male here. Since I started actively dating in high school till now I have not been given the time of day by black women. Every single one of them from the hipsters to the athletes to the preppy ones have always told me that I'm "too white", "not black enough", etc. Both of my parents are doctors, I travel to Europe every summer with my family, I played a D1 sport at uni while excelling academically, and I've attended predominantly white schools for my entire life. What's funny is that I don't have any problems dating attractive nonblack girls, but the only thing is that it's annoying having to prove to them over and over and over again that I'm not stereotypical. It gets tiresome at times. But apparently, I'm not good enough for black women. Maybe things will look up after I graduate from med school. Cheers.

 

[maybemed2013]

Haha this thread is quite interesting. I just came upon it. It looks like it's been going on for a while so I'm obliged to contribute. African American male here. Since I started actively dating in high school till now I have not been given the time of day by black women. Every single one of them from the hipsters to the athletes to the preppy ones have always told me that I'm "too white", "not black enough", etc. Both of my parents are doctors, I travel to Europe every summer with my family, I played a D1 sport at uni while excelling academically, and I've attended predominantly white schools for my entire life. What's funny is that I don't have any problems dating attractive nonblack girls, but the only thing is that it's annoying having to prove to them over and over and over again that I'm not stereotypical. It gets tiresome at times. But apparently, I'm not good enough for black women. Maybe things will look up after I graduate from med school. Cheers.

Please do not stereotype black women. Remember your mother, aunts, cousins, sisters and your daughter ( even if she is mixed) will be a black women.

 

[YoungGregory]

Haha this thread is quite interesting. I just came upon it. It looks like it's been going on for a while so I'm obliged to contribute. African American male here. Since I started actively dating in high school till now I have not been given the time of day by black women. Every single one of them from the hipsters to the athletes to the preppy ones have always told me that I'm "too white", "not black enough", etc. Both of my parents are doctors, I travel to Europe every summer with my family, I played a D1 sport at uni while excelling academically, and I've attended predominantly white schools for my entire life. What's funny is that I don't have any problems dating attractive nonblack girls, but the only thing is that it's annoying having to prove to them over and over and over again that I'm not stereotypical. It gets tiresome at times. But apparently, I'm not good enough for black women. Maybe things will look up after I graduate from med school. Cheers.

I'm probably one of the "whitest" black dudes you'll ever meet, and I've never had trouble attracting any race/ethnicity of women.

Most dudes I meet that say things like you say.. Usually have some pre conceived notion of how AA females will perceive them..

Example 1:
" But apparently, I'm not good enough for black women."

Sounds like you have some self confidence issues..

At the end of the day its not how "black" or "white" you act.. Its all about your personality and how you present yourself. Confidence is key in any interaction/relationship

I think every women I've ever messed with/dated has said I'm a "white boy".. Never stopped me from talking to black women.. In fact my girlfriend is black..

 

[2012mdc]

Please do not stereotype black women. Remember your mother, aunts, cousins, sisters and your daughter ( even if she is mixed) will be a black women.

He really didn't say anything bad about black women. Just stated that he has had trouble with them so far and it caused him to knock himself and not them.

Nygiants, I understand where you're coming from (black population at my HS was less than 1%, went to a majority UG etc) as I've dealt with the same type of thing.

There are women out there of all races who expect a black man to act a certain way based on stereotypes, misconceptions, their prior experiences, whatever. You shouldn't give up on black women because the ones you've dealt with so far say "you're not black enough" and then be ok with proving to non-black women that you're "not too black".

You should keep it moving with both of those groups and find the right woman that vibes with you regardless of race. But there are plenty of great black women out there who have been through similar situations as you and for lack of a better term, would be referred to as "white-washed".

 

[Nasrudin]

He really didn't say anything bad about black women. Just stated that he has had trouble with them so far and it caused him to knock himself and not them.

Nygiants, I understand where you're coming from (black population at my HS was less than 1%, went to a majority UG etc) as I've dealt with the same type of thing.

There are women out there of all races who expect a black man to act a certain way based on stereotypes, misconceptions, their prior experiences, whatever. You shouldn't give up on black women because the ones you've dealt with so far say "you're not black enough" and then be ok with proving to non-black women that you're "not too black".

You should keep it moving with both of those groups and find the right woman that vibes with you regardless of race. But there are plenty of great black women out there who have been through similar situations as you and for lack of a better term, would be referred to as "white-washed".

Interesting. Strong advice too. I hope everyone here finds the love they need wherever it is in the world.

I think the sociologic seismic shifts taking place are unprecedented. F@ck. It's only been 40 years since Guess Who's Coming to Dinner came out. Our parents generation had to live through that epic weirdness. And worse things for black folk.

But one of the things that I think really stifles the development is the fear that the PC police will inflict on anyone who steps across the line. And says what they feel. Being charged as a racist is effectively banishing someone from the realm of rational conversation. Only stand up comics can effectively stand in the honest realm of culture that deals with all this crazy ****.

So what happens is a lot of passive aggressive hostility.

I'll say it straight up. All the brothers hear can sling it at white girls till the cows come home. And a friendly nod is all you'll get from me. Brown people can raise their fist and make lil brown people and keep the revolution alive. And a friendly nod is all you'll get from me. But god help me if another mf'er I've never seen before in my life gets stank up in my face when I'm with my wife minding my own business. He better be as gangster as the stereotype he thinks I believe in. Cause one of us or both is gettin f'd up.

And you know what i get on the guilty white liberal side of town. Nothin. They just keep it movin and let us be.

Now how am I supposed to be reasonable in a ultra PC climate. That's gotta a hair trigger on the racist gun. Aimin right at me in self righteous vanity.

Yeah i said it. The black community has some serious f'n issues that it hasn't dealt with. that it makes me deal with. At least the scary lil bitches on the white side of town have the decency to keep their issues to themselves.

Makin these brothers feel like their not authentic black men cause they roll with a white chick. F@ck anyone who thinks that. Don't even realize how diseased that it is. Mental f'n cancer.

 

[Telekinesis]

Interesting. Strong advice too. I hope everyone here finds the love they need wherever it is in the world.

I think the sociologic seismic shifts taking place are unprecedented. F@ck. It's only been 40 years since Guess Who's Coming to Dinner came out. Our parents generation had to live through that epic weirdness. And worse things for black folk.

But one of the things that I think really stifles the development is the fear that the PC police will inflict on anyone who steps across the line. And says what they feel. Being charged as a racist is effectively banishing someone from the realm of rational conversation. Only stand up comics can effectively stand in the honest realm of culture that deals with all this crazy ****.

So what happens is a lot of passive aggressive hostility.

I'll say it straight up. All the brothers hear can sling it at white girls till the cows come home. And a friendly nod is all you'll get from me. Brown people can raise their fist and make lil brown people and keep the revolution alive. And a friendly nod is all you'll get from me. But god help me if another mf'er I've never seen before in my life gets stank up in my face when I'm with my wife minding my own business. He better be as gangster as the stereotype he thinks I believe in. Cause one of us or both is gettin f'd up.

And you know what i get on the guilty white liberal side of town. Nothin. They just keep it movin and let us be.

Now how am I supposed to be reasonable in a ultra PC climate. That's gotta a hair trigger on the racist gun. Aimin right at me in self righteous vanity.

Yeah i said it. The black community has some serious f'n issues that it hasn't dealt with. that it makes me deal with. At least the scary lil bitches on the white side of town have the decency to keep their issues to themselves.

Makin these brothers feel like their not authentic black men cause they roll with a white chick. F@ck anyone who thinks that. Don't even realize how diseased that it is. Mental f'n cancer.

Man I always enjoy your posts. And I agree black people are too quick to call someone racist or a "sell-out" if you choose to date outside your race, God forbid it's a white woman. And part of the problem is that most black women refuse to date outside their race while black guys are vilified if they do.

 

[nygiants fan]

He really didn't say anything bad about black women. Just stated that he has had trouble with them so far and it caused him to knock himself and not them.

Nygiants, I understand where you're coming from (black population at my HS was less than 1%, went to a majority UG etc) as I've dealt with the same type of thing.

There are women out there of all races who expect a black man to act a certain way based on stereotypes, misconceptions, their prior experiences, whatever. You shouldn't give up on black women because the ones you've dealt with so far say "you're not black enough" and then be ok with proving to non-black women that you're "not too black".

You should keep it moving with both of those groups and find the right woman that vibes with you regardless of race. But there are plenty of great black women out there who have been through similar situations as you and for lack of a better term, would be referred to as "white-washed".

Thank you for the advice! My parents taught me to always judge a person by their individual character and not by their race, your own perceived notions of their religion, etc. But it is just. so. hard when I can't turn to anyone in the African American community (for being a sell-out and "not black") and I can't turn to anyone in the white community (I always feel that regardless of what I do, even if I'm the best doctor in whatever field I go into, that they will always look down on me and just barely tolerate me). Throw in the dating issues that I mentioned and you'll see that I'm pretty much left on an island. Thank God that I have my parents, siblings, faith, and other activities that I do outside of medical school, otherwise it would be tough getting through the days.

 

[2012mdc]

Thank you for the advice! My parents taught me to always judge a person by their individual character and not by their race, your own perceived notions of their religion, etc. But it is just. so. hard when I can't turn to anyone in the African American community (for being a sell-out and "not black") and I can't turn to anyone in the white community (I always feel that regardless of what I do, even if I'm the best doctor in whatever field I go into, that they will always look down on me and just barely tolerate me). Throw in the dating issues that I mentioned and you'll see that I'm pretty much left on an island. Thank God that I have my parents, siblings, faith, and other activities that I do outside of medical school, otherwise it would be tough getting through the days.

Not all black people are the same and not all white people are the same. That will help you get over a lot of things that are you facing. I faced similar issues in undergrad because of my HS experience. You have to be willing to give each new person you meet a fair chance with no preconceived notions.

Your happiness should never be reliant on another person so do what you do to be happy and that right person will come in your life when they're supposed to

 

[Nasrudin]

Thank you for the advice! My parents taught me to always judge a person by their individual character and not by their race, your own perceived notions of their religion, etc. But it is just. so. hard when I can't turn to anyone in the African American community (for being a sell-out and "not black") and I can't turn to anyone in the white community (I always feel that regardless of what I do, even if I'm the best doctor in whatever field I go into, that they will always look down on me and just barely tolerate me). Throw in the dating issues that I mentioned and you'll see that I'm pretty much left on an island. Thank God that I have my parents, siblings, faith, and other activities that I do outside of medical school, otherwise it would be tough getting through the days.

Dude. That sucks.

I think I understand what you mean. There's sort of a vapid and narrow sexual marketability in the docile safety of white suburban badlands.

Black nerds might not slay so much poontang here. The ones I see that seem to make out OK are just exceptionally handsome and well muscled or look like the just pledged a white fraternity at Georgetown.

Boring as it is. It's relatively neutral territory for me. Like the working class asian neighborhood I lived for a decade in Cali. Nobody cares, so, perfect.

But from your angle. As a single dude. That's tough. I won't pretend that for most of your prospects in wonderbreadville you're anything but a kinky experiment. And the less you rap or dunk the worse off you are at fulfilling that fantasy. Even now. We lack enough experience with each other to be more than 2-dimensional characters for the most part. And it's lonely skating the borders of both.

This is the real **** in america. Droves of foolish suckers pulling the ballot for hope and change. And then everyone goes back to their side of the tracks and **** keeps getting worse.

And worse is what it will get. I used to think things might get better. And they might in some respects. But it's also getting tribal out here in America. As people figure out they can't afford the stupid crap they lust after. And soldiers realize that their skills qualify them to stand in line for a seasonal walmart job.

A vast dark and and bitter storm lurks on the horizon. And what do you think that means for "zebras." As some random dude call my wife and I. It means that in a Katrina like scenario, if we're on the wrong side of where the cops decide to draw the line. We're f'd.

What you got to say about that Sharpton. Oprah. That my wife gets treated like a $5 hooker by black men because she's a black woman walking down the street on the black side of town.

Soundbyte that **** mf'er.

I think racial purists might be the smarter ones given what's comin.

As for me. I'm getting to neutral territory as fast as I can get there. And training up in the skilled use of an assault rifle.

I just don't feel rosy about the social experiment of locking millions of brown men up in jail and clingin to jesus and my HD television set for salvation.

I'll take my chances with loaded clips. And more guns than any one man needs.

 

[kg062008]

Dude. That sucks.

I think I understand what you mean. There's sort of a vapid and narrow sexual marketability in the docile safety of white suburban badlands.

Black nerds might not slay so much poontang here. The ones I see that seem to make out OK are just exceptionally handsome and well muscled or look like the just pledged a white fraternity at Georgetown.

Boring as it is. It's relatively neutral territory for me. Like the working class asian neighborhood I lived for a decade in Cali. Nobody cares, so, perfect.

But from your angle. As a single dude. That's tough. I won't pretend that for most of your prospects in wonderbreadville you're anything but a kinky experiment. And the less you rap or dunk the worse off you are at fulfilling that fantasy. Even now. We lack enough experience with each other to be more than 2-dimensional characters for the most part. And it's lonely skating the borders of both.

This is the real **** in america. Droves of foolish suckers pulling the ballot for hope and change. And then everyone goes back to their side of the tracks and **** keeps getting worse.

And worse is what it will get. I used to think things might get better. And they might in some respects. But it's also getting tribal out here in America. As people figure out they can't afford the stupid crap they lust after. And soldiers realize that their skills qualify them to stand in line for a seasonal walmart job.

A vast dark and and bitter storm lurks on the horizon. And what do you think that means for "zebras." As some random dude call my wife and I. It means that in a Katrina like scenario, if we're on the wrong side of where the cops decide to draw the line. We're f'd.

What you got to say about that Sharpton. Oprah. That my wife gets treated like a $5 hooker by black men because she's a black woman walking down the street on the black side of town.

Soundbyte that **** mf'er.

I think racial purists might be the smarter ones given what's comin.

As for me. I'm getting to neutral territory as fast as I can get there. And training up in the skilled use of an assault rifle.

I just don't feel rosy about the social experiment of locking millions of brown men up in jail and clingin to jesus and my HD television set for salvation.

I'll take my chances with loaded clips. And more guns than any one man needs.

Dude chill! No need to go Virginia tech on em. Anyway, this thread is about 20 pages longer than it needs to be. Black women usually only date black men because that's all they are attracted to. I have heard lots of them say white guys and Asian guys are too "pretty"😕. But usually the only ones that say that have rough features ( dark skin, nappy hair, big wide noses, etc) White beauty standards are glorified in America and we have been brain washed by them. Even myself, i'll admit that im not attracted to dark skin, nappy hair, or big noses on black women and im a light brown skinned black male. No black woman wants to date a man she perceives as prettier than herself ex. "blond haired blue eyed white boy/" Black men are usually attracted to many races of women, and they like us back. Black women see this, and as a result of their self imposed limitations, condemn black men for being "sell outs" and not caring about the "black community" . I learned a long time ago that you cannot help what you are attracted to. Date who you are sexually attracted to, have things in common with, and get along with. F'ck what anybody else thinks. End of story

 

[Nasrudin]

Dude chill! No need to go Virginia tech on em. Anyway, this thread is about 20 pages longer than it needs to be. Black women usually only date black men because that's all they are attracted to. I have heard lots of them say white guys and Asian guys are too "pretty"😕. But usually the only ones that say that have rough features ( dark skin, nappy hair, big wide noses, etc) White beauty standards are glorified in America and we have been brain washed by them. Even myself, i'll admit that im not attracted to dark skin, nappy hair, or big noses on black women and im a light brown skinned black male. No black woman wants to date a man she perceives as prettier than herself ex. "blond haired blue eyed white boy/" Black men are usually attracted to many races of women, and they like us back. Black women see this, and as a result of their self imposed limitations, condemn black men for being "sell outs" and not caring about the "black community" . I learned a long time ago that you cannot help what you are attracted to. Date who you are sexually attracted to, have things in common with, and get along with. F'ck what anybody else thinks. End of story

The thread does not serve, at least in my case, to be concise statement of current affairs. But. My last post was a decompression blast. And while I don't apologize for any of it.

In case it wasn't clear. I meant only that I felt pain and anger at not being able to protect my wife in outnumbered and outgunned circumstances. The type of circumstances that give one a clear vista into the hypocrisies of racial politics in America.

But circumstances that bring me to the crushing realization that the hippy dream is over. And that cycling generations through the prison system is a piper America will come to pay. And regret.

And frankly as a warning. To any mohican interracial hippies out there. That urban tribal warfare zones are hostile and dangerous places. A danger intensified by the lack of ability to blend into the polarized color scheme. That are less the lovely symbols of diversity and increasingly the uniforms of opposing battle fronts.

I depart from this discussion.

Good luck lovers.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Dude chill! No need to go Virginia tech on em. Anyway, this thread is about 20 pages longer than it needs to be. Black women usually only date black men because that's all they are attracted to. I have heard lots of them say white guys and Asian guys are too "pretty"😕. But usually the only ones that say that have rough features ( dark skin, nappy hair, big wide noses, etc) White beauty standards are glorified in America and we have been brain washed by them. Even myself, i'll admit that im not attracted to dark skin, nappy hair, or big noses on black women and im a light brown skinned black male. No black woman wants to date a man she perceives as prettier than herself ex. "blond haired blue eyed white boy/" Black men are usually attracted to many races of women, and they like us back. Black women see this, and as a result of their self imposed limitations, condemn black men for being "sell outs" and not caring about the "black community" . I learned a long time ago that you cannot help what you are attracted to. Date who you are sexually attracted to, have things in common with, and get along with. F'ck what anybody else thinks. End of story

With an attitude like this who needs racist people from other races to put you down? So black isn't pretty? Not everyone thinks blond hair and blue eyes are prettier. I, for one, prefer brown skin and dark eyes. I have seen a number of black women, in California at least, dating South East Asian (Indian) men so there is an idea ladies, but I find it sort of odd to exclusively choose one type of person to date. It is okay to be attracted to people of other races, but you don't have to bad mouth your own race to justify your decision.

 

[Telekinesis]

With an attitude like this who needs racist people from other races to put you down? So Black isn't pretty?

We have been systematically led to believe black isn't beautiful. Look at the beauty industy. Perms to straighten hair, color contacts and the like. We are stuck on the European standard of beauty. We are just now as a people beginning to realize how beautiful we are.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

We have been systematically led to believe black isn't beautiful. Look at the beauty industy. Perms to straighten hair, color contacts and the like. We are stuck on the European standard of beauty. We are just now as a people beginning to realize how beautiful we are.

Some people were already well aware black or otherwise.

I see this behavior from males of other races besides black who choose to date outside their race as well. Why is it okay to bad mouth women period?

 

[Rayna80]

With an attitude like this who needs racist people from other races to put you down? So black isn't pretty? Not everyone thinks blond hair and blue eyes are prettier. I, for one, prefer brown skin and dark eyes. I have seen a number of black women, in California at least, dating South East Asian (Indian) men so there is an idea ladies, but I find it sort of odd to exclusively choose one type of person to date. It is okay to be attracted to people of other races, but you don't have to bad mouth your own race to justify your decision.

Very good men. Respectful and kind.

 

[Telekinesis]

Some people were already well aware black or otherwise.

I see this behavior from males of other races besides black who choose to date outside their race as well. Why is it okay to bad mouth women period?

It's not ok, but I see what you mean. I don't have an answer for you though.

 

[YoungGregory]

What do you guys think about her view on this issue?

[YOUTUBE]i88gOnLL62Q[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]SI9DO3SHhjQ[/YOUTUBE]

She's pretty cute btw.. lol

 

[YoungGregory]

A couple days ago, I was having a conversation with an acquaintance (she is more on the chocolate side). She said "Since you're light-skinned, You will probably only date light-skinned or white chicks." AND this gem "Dark skin chicks usually don't date light skin dudes, because their usually full of themselves and think they're better looking than their girls."

I didn't know how to respond to the first comment, kind of caught me off guard.

But I will say I think I'm a handsome dude.. But that was a little too much. Lol


Earlier today, one of my homeboys said, "You're light-skinned, so you get all the light-skinned and Puerto Rican chicks... You can get away with that, those females don't give me the time of day."

I think its sad that us black folks have segregated our own race. We have all these stereotypes jammed into our heads at an early age. This all needs to change.. It's 2011.

 

[2012mdc]

A couple days ago, I was having a conversation with an acquaintance (she is more on the chocolate side). She said "Since you're light-skinned, You will probably only date light-skinned or white chicks." AND this gem "Dark skin chicks usually don't date light skin dudes, because their usually full of themselves and think they're better looking than their girls."

I didn't know how to respond to the first comment, kind of caught me off guard.

But I will say I think I'm a handsome dude.. But that was a little too much. Lol


Earlier today, one of my homeboys said, "You're light-skinned, so you get all the light-skinned and Puerto Rican chicks... You can get away with that, those females don't give me the time of day."

I think its sad that us black folks have segregated our own race. We have all these stereotypes jammed into our heads at an early age. This all needs to change.. It's 2011.

Haha I've experienced that too. I'm light skin, reasonably good looking and have light eyes so people like to assign that "pretty boy" stereotype to me.

I actuually dated a girl (who was dark skin BTW) who would tell me I look better than her. She was obviously insecure but who knows how much of it was due to society's standards of beauty. And black folks are just as guilty as mainstream media.

The stereotypes are ridiculous and people fall into trap of letting people who do fit a stereotype represent everyone. When you have rappers coming out and saying they only date light skin girls it's not a good look for anyone.

The cycle can be reinforcing too. In my experience light skin girls are more likely to approach me or be more open to me approaching them so subconsciously as well as consciously I'm more likely to approach a light skin girls.

 

[kg062008]

LoL. Like I said before, everyone has been brain washed to subconsciously believe that Light and White is beautiful. This makes black women very insecure so they usually don't dates whits or asians or other races because they preceive those men as "prettier" than themselves. And no woman wants a man prettier than herself. It's a shame though, In a black male on the light side, and i saw the cutest brown skinned girl at the library yesterday.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

LoL. Like I said before, everyone has been brain washed to subconsciously believe that Light and White is beautiful. This makes black women very insecure so they usually don't dates whits or asians or other races because they preceive those men as "prettier" than themselves. And no woman wants a man prettier than herself. It's a shame though, In a black male on the light side, and i saw the cutest brown skinned girl at the library yesterday.

Not Everyone.

And not all black females are insecure. Some just prefer men with color.
I haven't heard black females say they think the white and Asian men are "prettier", but instead more feminine.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Haha I've experienced that too. I'm light skin, reasonably good looking and have light eyes so people like to assign that "pretty boy" stereotype to me.

I actuually dated a girl (who was dark skin BTW) who would tell me I look better than her. She was obviously insecure but who knows how much of it was due to society's standards of beauty. And black folks are just as guilty as mainstream media.

The stereotypes are ridiculous and people fall into trap of letting people who do fit a stereotype represent everyone. When you have rappers coming out and saying they only date light skin girls it's not a good look for anyone.

The cycle can be reinforcing too. In my experience light skin girls are more likely to approach me or be more open to me approaching them so subconsciously as well as consciously I'm more likely to approach a light skin girls.

I always found it strange that black people referred to themselves in this way. Light and dark; relative to what?

In one breath they complain of discrimination and in the next breath they are looking for ways to distance themselves from one another. Very strange.

 

[kg062008]

Not Everyone.

And not all black females are insecure. Some just prefer men with color.
I haven't heard black females say they think the white and Asian men are "prettier", but instead more feminine.

In what ways are they more feminine? Please explain. Black women just thug lust thats all. And anybody who isn't a thug is feminine.

 

[maybemed2013]

Black women here and I do not thug lust.

 

[nygiants fan]

In what ways are they more feminine? Please explain. Black women just thug lust thats all. And anybody who isn't a thug is feminine.

+1

"Thug lust" isn't the way I would have phrased it, but that's exactly how it is haha. There are 3 black men in my class (including myself). All of us are incredibly preppy (with one tipping over to fratty) and pretty far from stereotypical. The 4 black girls in class (only 3 of whom I personally would date) want nothing to do with us at all because we are apparently too feminine, too white, too whack, and so on haha. One of the guys is currently dating a beautiful latina who is a nurse, the other is dating a blonde-haired green eyed white girl that dated an SEC quarterback for a time while in college, and I'm currently seeing a white girl unofficially. We dialed up the hate from the black girls in our class by a hundred fold. Lose-lose situation.

And to the girl that posted above me, just because YOU don't go after thugs doesn't mean the vast majority of African American women don't. They do. I and everyone else here has seen it firsthand.

 

[2012mdc]

I always found it strange that black people referred to themselves in this way. Light and dark; relative to what?

In one breath they complain of discrimination and in the next breath they are looking for ways to distance themselves from one another. Very strange.

Relative to each other obviously. Not trying to distance myself from anyone, black or white, I've dated all races and all colors.

I only mentioned my color bc it is pretty relevant to the discussion at hand and my experiences with black and non black women. Regardless of how you feel about it color is going to be one of the first things a lot people notice and a lot of people have stereotypes based on skin color outside of and within the black community.

 

[kg062008]

+1

"Thug lust" isn't the way I would have phrased it, but that's exactly how it is haha. There are 3 black men in my class (including myself). All of us are incredibly preppy (with one tipping over to fratty) and pretty far from stereotypical. The 4 black girls in class (only 3 of whom I personally would date) want nothing to do with us at all because we are apparently too feminine, too white, too whack, and so on haha. One of the guys is currently dating a beautiful latina who is a nurse, the other is dating a blonde-haired green eyed white girl that dated an SEC quarterback for a time while in college, and I'm currently seeing a white girl unofficially. We dialed up the hate from the black girls in our class by a hundred fold. Lose-lose situation.

And to the girl that posted above me, just because YOU don't go after thugs doesn't mean the vast majority of African American women don't. They do. I and everyone else here has seen it firsthand.

LOL exactly. I wonder what dating is like at the historically black medical schools (Howard, Morehouse, Meharry). I wonder how many of them have kids and are ghetto? Maybe a good portion of them.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

+1

"Thug lust" isn't the way I would have phrased it, but that's exactly how it is haha. There are 3 black men in my class (including myself). All of us are incredibly preppy (with one tipping over to fratty) and pretty far from stereotypical. The 4 black girls in class (only 3 of whom I personally would date) want nothing to do with us at all because we are apparently too feminine, too white, too whack, and so on haha. One of the guys is currently dating a beautiful latina who is a nurse, the other is dating a blonde-haired green eyed white girl that dated an SEC quarterback for a time while in college, and I'm currently seeing a white girl unofficially. We dialed up the hate from the black girls in our class by a hundred fold. Lose-lose situation.

And to the girl that posted above me, just because YOU don't go after thugs doesn't mean the vast majority of African American women don't. They do. I and everyone else here has seen it firsthand.

You can't speak for all black women and those 4 black girls don't represent the entire race. That is like me saying all black men are on the down low and spread AIDS, and all black men are bad fathers and are incarcerated or have been.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Relative to each other obviously. Not trying to distance myself from anyone, black or white, I've dated all races and all colors.

I only mentioned my color bc it is pretty relevant to the discussion at hand and my experiences with black and non black women. Regardless of how you feel about it color is going to be one of the first things a lot people notice and a lot of people have stereotypes based on skin color outside of and within the black community.

More so within and I think it depends on how people were raised.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

In what ways are they more feminine? Please explain. Black women just thug lust thats all. And anybody who isn't a thug is feminine.

What the hell is thug lust? You mean disrespectful pricks?

To answer your question, pick almost any stereotypical male behavior and some women think that Asian men in particular lack in every one of those areas. It doesn't have to be true to be a stereotype.

I personally am not attracted to black men, but I am also part Native American and grew up around more of them and people gravitate to what is most familiar.

There are hardly any black people in my pre-med classes and there are absolutely no black men in these classes where I attend. That doesn't mean I generalize about a group because of my own experiences. Does the lack of black male pre-meds speak to some issue with their intelligence? Of course not, but using some of the arguments posted here it must.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

+1

"Thug lust" isn't the way I would have phrased it, but that's exactly how it is haha. There are 3 black men in my class (including myself). All of us are incredibly preppy (with one tipping over to fratty) and pretty far from stereotypical. The 4 black girls in class (only 3 of whom I personally would date) want nothing to do with us at all because we are apparently too feminine, too white, too whack, and so on haha. One of the guys is currently dating a beautiful latina who is a nurse, the other is dating a blonde-haired green eyed white girl that dated an SEC quarterback for a time while in college, and I'm currently seeing a white girl unofficially. We dialed up the hate from the black girls in our class by a hundred fold. Lose-lose situation.

And to the girl that posted above me, just because YOU don't go after thugs doesn't mean the vast majority of African American women don't. They do. I and everyone else here has seen it firsthand.

There are insecure people in every race and men can be 100x worse. I went to a party once and this Hispanic girl I was acquaintances with was dancing with some random black guy I had never seen before; he didn't go to our school as far as I knew. They were not even touching really and some Hispanic guy who she didn't even know seemed fine with her dancing with random people (men included) until he turned around and saw her dancing with the only black dude there. Then he bolted across the room and pushed her against the wall with one hand against her neck and said something and then stormed away. Some people are just insecure period. I am not saying that there aren't black women who are color conscious and need to mind their own damn business, but it isn't exclusively them and it isn't all of them. Come to California, there are no limits to the odd couples here. Just about anything goes.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

LOL exactly. I wonder what dating is like at the historically black medical schools (Howard, Morehouse, Meharry). I wonder how many of them have kids and are ghetto? Maybe a good portion of them.

Why are you wondering anything about people you don't even know? There are no non-black medical students that have families? When has that ever been a bad thing? Why would you assume educated black people are ghetto?