Dating in med school

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JSReed said:
@dudebroguyman I'll date you if you can hook me up with free anki/sketchy/amboss
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:oops: YASS. Do your thang!

This reminds me. I haven't texted back the M3 on bumble about needing an ANKI deck.
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I'm a bit jaded about my breakup from 3 days ago so that would explain my men ain't crap phase.

But yeah, definitely not dating for a while.
 
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I'm too paranoid to date anybody right now lol.

A lot of my friends in college had dated girls that ended up just using them for connections in research and help with classes. There was even a few cases where some girls would "date" a guy in their class and accuse them of sexual harassment or rape to take out the "competition". It's literally one of the sickest things I have ever witnessed. I understand that the process of becoming a doctor is very competitive, but ruining somebody's life just to get a step up is beyond disgusting.

When I was a TA for organic chemistry, I would commonly witness students do poorly in organic chemistry. I would spend hours of my own time helping students understand and love the subject. But there was one girl who was failing quite badly and couldn't grasp any of the concepts. In desperation, that girl accused me of raping her in her dorm and said that the trauma from the rape didn't allow her to focus in the class. This was a complete lie as the time and location of the rape didn't match where I was at the time, which was with my professors doing research. This ended up being dismissed, but this whole situation seriously ruined many lives. Long story short, I went to court, was found not guilty, the girl got expelled, and many of my professors got fired for not being "professional" (the deans weren't happy that they were defending me).

This whole situation messed up my life a bit too because everybody thought I was a rapist and would avoid me. People spat on me, vandalized my car, and did a lot of other messed up things until I finally graduated. I was even let go from my job as a concert pianist and guitarist because I was a "risk".

I use to be a model, so dating girls wasn't really hard for me (people care about looks way too much :rolleyes:). But ever since that situation, I've been very cautious with talking to girls and have generally avoided doing anything where I will be alone with them. I don't plan on having sex or going on dates with any girl until I know her really well. I'm starting medical school next week and I genuinely hope that everyone I meet is nice. Hopefully, I'll meet my future wife there. I just want a simple, quiet, and happy life with my future wife once we're both doctors.

Basically, be careful who you date and interact with.
 
Sunbodi said:
I don't understand why men date just to waste years of a woman's life with no intentions to settle down and marry.

But that's just me.

Anyways like @MedLife20 I hope to meet my SPOUSE in med school. He can be a lawyer or firefighter or mechanic or doctor. Idrc so long as he's hard working and treats me like his queen <3
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I'm kinda the same with girls lol. I feel like dating a girl to only have fun or to have sex with is weird. If I did that, I would feel like I'm using the girl, which doesn't really sit well with me. I only date girls that I can see myself potentially marrying.

My parents want me to have an arranged marriage with this Polish girl though :rolleyes:. I'm not the biggest fan of marrying a stranger, so I'm avoiding it as much as possible lol.
 
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Prince_Avocado said:
I'm too paranoid to date anybody right now lol.

A lot of my friends in college had dated girls that ended up just using them for connections in research and help with classes. There was even a few cases where some girls would "date" a guy in their class and accuse them of sexual harassment or rape to take out the "competition". It's literally one of the sickest things I have ever witnessed. I understand that the process of becoming a doctor is very competitive, but ruining somebody's life just to get a step up is beyond disgusting.

When I was a TA for organic chemistry, I would commonly witness students do poorly in organic chemistry. I would spend hours of my own time helping students understand and love the subject. But there was one girl who was failing quite badly and couldn't grasp any of the concepts. In desperation, that girl accused me of raping her in her dorm and said that the trauma from the rape didn't allow her to focus in the class. This was a complete lie as the time and location of the rape didn't match where I was at the time, which was with my professors doing research. This ended up being dismissed, but this whole situation seriously ruined many lives. Long story short, I went to court, was found not guilty, the girl got expelled, and many of my professors got fired for not being "professional" (the deans weren't happy that they were defending me).

This whole situation messed up my life a bit too because everybody thought I was a rapist and would avoid me. People spat on me, vandalized my car, and did a lot of other messed up things until I finally graduated. I was even let go from my job as a concert pianist and guitarist because I was a "risk".

I use to be a model, so dating girls wasn't really hard for me (people care about looks way too much :rolleyes:). But ever since that situation, I've been very cautious with talking to girls and have generally avoided doing anything where I will be alone with them. I don't plan on having sex or going on dates with any girl until I know her really well. I'm starting medical school next week and I genuinely hope that everyone I meet is nice. Hopefully, I'll meet my future wife there. I just want a simple, quiet, and happy life with my future wife once we're both doctors.

Basically, be careful who you date and interact with.
Click to expand...

Is this real? I went to a pReStIgIoUs school, but no one was cutthroat

also, model, concert pianist, guitarist??

If it is real, I think Donald recently passed something that helps protects your rights in these cases, as opposed to before when i think it was easier to boot you off campus in these cases. Idk not an expert at this topic tho
 
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dudebroguyman said:
Is this real? I went to a pReStIgIoUs school, but no one was cutthroat

also, model, concert pianist, guitarist??

If it is real, I think Donal recently passed something that helps protects your rights in these cases, as opposed to before when i think it was easier to boot you off campus in these cases. Idk not an expert at this topic tho
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I didn't go to a prestigious school, just my local college. I think many students at these prestigious schools have their stuff together so incidents like that are probably rare. But the incidents that happened to me and others at my college occurred during the peak of the #MeToo movement, so a lot of deans were just taking the students word on what happened.

I use to be a martial-arts instructor and competitor so I had a really good body for modeling. My parents made me have piano and guitar lessons as a kid and I've just kept up with it and eventually made connections with people to be able to perform at concerts and with other musicians. I'm not some perfect guy if that's what you're thinking lol. I took two gap years and my GPA and MCAT were pretty bad (hence, why I'm going to a DO school). I'm pretty sure the main reason I got into medical school was because I have a really crazy resume lol.
 
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Idk what this thread devolved into, but anyway I think love is love and there's really no reason to rush into meeting someone who could be the roommate for the rest of your life. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
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M&L said:
@culturekweenXx i am ok though. I decided to just look at it as a positive thing, - i have more time to focus on studying and my career.
One of my friends is an M1, has 2 kids, husband, and sometimes i am so jealous (especially around holidays). But she said that she is jealous of me because i can focus on my career, while she feels guilty every time she studies instead of spending time with her kids and husband. So, it is what it is. You can look at everything as a positive or negative, you know?
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grass is always greener on the other side
 
update:

tinder works rly well

:banana::biglove:

I love these vintage emojis
 
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readmypostsMD said:
update:

tinder works rly well

:banana::biglove:

I love these vintage emojis
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gotta be good looking for tinder, cant be looking like a burnt sweet potato like me and get those matches lmao

guys like me where looks are a 3/10 but personality/humor is top top will really struggle, I feel, because if dating gets dependent on apps then my whole strategy of getting friendly and impressing others with humor and personality is a lost cause
 
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blissworm said:
gotta be good looking for tinder, cant be looking like a burnt sweet potato like me and get those matches lmao

guys like me where looks are a 3/10 but personality/humor is top top will really struggle, I feel, because if dating gets dependent on apps then my whole strategy of getting friendly and impressing others with humor and personality is a lost cause
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That’s when you throw you wc on for the profile pic.
 
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You shall know the Truth said:
That’s when you throw you wc on for the profile pic.
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rather die alone than try to win over someone interested in milking me for some money and wooing them with a free coat I got because I was a nerd in undergrad lmao
 
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blissworm said:
gotta be good looking for tinder, cant be looking like a burnt sweet potato like me and get those matches lmao

guys like me where looks are a 3/10 but personality/humor is top top will really struggle, I feel, because if dating gets dependent on apps then my whole strategy of getting friendly and impressing others with humor and personality is a lost cause
Click to expand...
If you're as funny as you say you are, just go do standup. Winning.
 
blissworm said:
rather die alone than try to win over someone interested in milking me for some money and wooing them with a free coat I got because I was a nerd in undergrad lmao
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milk those utters all day baby
 
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Dating 101 for Male Medical Students: There are 3 approaches depending on where you're at and what you want.

1.) Limited to no dating experience: Throwing the Kitchen Sink at it.
Lower your expectations. Try everything (apps, social events, mutual study spaces). Avoid fellow classmates to avoid ridicule. Focus on experiences that lead to personal growth and be considerate when things don't work out. When a girl drops/rejects you, try to figure out why (spoiler: it will hurt and is mostly out of your control). Just focus on your growth instead of ruminating on why things seem easier for others. It's really about self-branding and confidence which comes through experience. Working out helps to an extent and go for the lean/athletic look as opposed to the beer-belly/pencil neck look.

1a.) If you don't do #1, you're in a holding zone until you find someone who 1) Is thoughtful enough to look past your quirks 2) you actually find attractive C) is still single and looking . It's a great scenario, but its random so it may not come on your timeline and you only get so many chances and so if you pass them up, next thing you know you're 35. The benefit though is that this approach allows you to invest your time/efforts elsewhere.

2.) Experienced/Long-Term Relationships:
Just ask out a professional student you gel with. If you like medical students start there, but there's usually the whole gamut of health and other professional schools next to medical schools with girls many of whom are just as intelligent/intellectually curious/mutually ambitious, or whatever you find attractive outside of aesthetics in girls.

3. Experienced/Thirsty:
Apps are the best. Be a gentleman, but they key is to be direct about what you want after quick small talk. Let her escalate until things get explicit. If she's interested it'll come easy. Some girls are even willing to fly to where you're at to spend a weekend (offer to pay for half, you may like her). There is also the whole "study/chill" thing with classmates a few guys score with every year by about October/November of M1 year. Again if she's interested it comes easy. Let her escalate to explicit.

Don't overcomplicate this stuff. I'm below average on the pecking order (short, mediocre appearance, wear glasses) and I've gone from #1 to #3 and now happily at #2.
 
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Syncrohnize said:
Dating 101 for Male Medical Students: There are 3 approaches depending on where you're at and what you want.

1.) Limited to no dating experience:
Lower your expectations and try everything (apps/other professional students/etc). I would avoid fellow classmates to avoid ridicule. Focus on experiences that lead to personal growth. Be considerate. Working out can help a little. Go for the lean/athletic look, not the pencil neck/beer belly look. When girls drop you, try to figure out why (spoiler: It will hurt). If you decide against doing this, you're stuck in a holding zone until you find someone A) Who's thoughtful enough to look past your inexperience/quirks B) Who you actually find attractive C) Who's still or newly single. It's a great scenario, just unlikely/random so it's not something that you can work towards and takes time.

2.) Experienced/Long-Term Relationships:
Just ask out a professional student you gel with. If you like medical students start there, but there's usually the whole gamut of health and other professional schools next to medical schools with girls many of whom are just as intelligent/intellectually curious/mutually ambitious, or whatever you find attractive about female medical students.

3. Experienced/Thirsty:
Apps are the best. Be a gentleman, but be direct (initiate) about what you want after you exchange whereabouts. Let her escalate until things get explicit. If she's interested it'll come easy. Some girls are even willing to fly to where you're at to spend a weekend (offer to pay for half, you may like her). There is also the whole "study/chill" thing with classmates a few guys score with every year by about October/November of M1 year, but you have to be careful and let her be the one to escalate to explicit or else your intentions can be misconstrued as malicious.

Don't overcomplicate it. I'm below average on the pecking order (short, mediocre appearance, wear glasses) and I've gone from #1 to #3 and now happily at #2.
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You have had someone that has never met you before ...fly to you to go on a date?
 
Cath Up said:
You have had someone that has never met you before ...fly to you to go on a date?
Click to expand...

Not a "dinner date" but like a "spend the long weekend at my apartment" kind of thing and these are not Victoria Secret models but just people I was attracted to. Having an ethnic/cultural connection helps a lot too (ex. both Jewish, Indian, Muslim, etc.) which goes hand-in-hand with the necessity for travel to find someone. The typical pattern is matching on a dating app, making small-talk about medical school/cultural problems for a few days...then when the other person feels you're real enough, you exchange actual numbers and FaceTime few times. Also there's usually at least one mutual friend to prevent a whole Manti Te'o sort of debacle. What I'm describing is not uncommon at all actually and if you use Southwest (I'm not affiliated) the round trip can be <$200 which is not bad for a long weekend/spring break especially if there's other things to do in the city too.
 
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Prince_Avocado said:
I'm too paranoid to date anybody right now lol.

A lot of my friends in college had dated girls that ended up just using them for connections in research and help with classes. There was even a few cases where some girls would "date" a guy in their class and accuse them of sexual harassment or rape to take out the "competition". It's literally one of the sickest things I have ever witnessed. I understand that the process of becoming a doctor is very competitive, but ruining somebody's life just to get a step up is beyond disgusting.

When I was a TA for organic chemistry, I would commonly witness students do poorly in organic chemistry. I would spend hours of my own time helping students understand and love the subject. But there was one girl who was failing quite badly and couldn't grasp any of the concepts. In desperation, that girl accused me of raping her in her dorm and said that the trauma from the rape didn't allow her to focus in the class. This was a complete lie as the time and location of the rape didn't match where I was at the time, which was with my professors doing research. This ended up being dismissed, but this whole situation seriously ruined many lives. Long story short, I went to court, was found not guilty, the girl got expelled, and many of my professors got fired for not being "professional" (the deans weren't happy that they were defending me).

This whole situation messed up my life a bit too because everybody thought I was a rapist and would avoid me. People spat on me, vandalized my car, and did a lot of other messed up things until I finally graduated. I was even let go from my job as a concert pianist and guitarist because I was a "risk".

I use to be a model, so dating girls wasn't really hard for me (people care about looks way too much :rolleyes:). But ever since that situation, I've been very cautious with talking to girls and have generally avoided doing anything where I will be alone with them. I don't plan on having sex or going on dates with any girl until I know her really well. I'm starting medical school next week and I genuinely hope that everyone I meet is nice. Hopefully, I'll meet my future wife there. I just want a simple, quiet, and happy life with my future wife once we're both doctors.

Basically, be careful who you date and interact with.
Click to expand...

I am very sorry this happened to you. I stopped reading this out of cringe a paragraph and a half though in because I feel this post is just dehumanizing females. I don't want to dismiss anything that happened to you though, but entertaining the notion that this (false rape accusations) is even close to typical female behavior is like saying what Brock Turner did to that girl at Stanford is typical male behavior. I'm sure this stuff happens and I have heard of two cases, one at my medical school and another through a friend. I knew the girl at my medical school and you could tell something was up about her from a mile away. Again, I am so sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve this and am sure your true character will shine.
 
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Yhwach said:
This is played out imo
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I know right, that's so 2013. What you want to do now is link your TikTok to your dating app profile and have your featured clip be you doing the shoe flip thing transitioning you from jeans/hoodie to your white coat/slacks.
 
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TheDavidLettermanShow said:
Too much work. I'll just let my million dollar salary as a future neurosurgery attending do all the talking
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That's basically 1a. The issue is that I presume some guys want immediate action while they're pursuing that PGY-8 path to NSG.
 
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TheDavidLettermanShow said:
Yeah. Also, being single at 35 isn't as much of a death sentence as it is for women.
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Sure but even if I was a 25 year old male in M3 I wouldn't want to dedicate my life to memorizing neuroanatomy, maximizing my Step scores, networking heavily to make myself a competitive candidate in order to spend the next 8 years doing 100 hr. weeks being first assist, learning management of neurosurgical issues, etc. just so that when I turn 35 I can cash that out to sleep with a few hot women. It's much easier to just play the dating game and jump through a few small hoops that simultaneously help develop other life skills, as detailed above.
 
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BacktotheBasics said:
Sure but even if I was a 25 year old male in M3 I wouldn't want to dedicate my life to memorizing neuroanatomy, maximizing my Step scores, networking heavily to make myself a competitive candidate in order to spend the next 8 years doing 100 hr. weeks being first assist, learning management of neurosurgical issues, etc. just so that when I turn 35 I can cash that out to sleep with a few hot women. It's much easier to just play the dating game and jump through a few small hoops that simultaneously help develop other life skills, as detailed above.
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every guy that is struggling to get girls in med school, please listen to this person
 
BacktotheBasics said:
Sure but even if I was a 25 year old male in M3 I wouldn't want to dedicate my life to memorizing neuroanatomy, maximizing my Step scores, networking heavily to make myself a competitive candidate in order to spend the next 8 years doing 100 hr. weeks being first assist, learning management of neurosurgical issues, etc. just so that when I turn 35 I can cash that out to sleep with a few hot women. It's much easier to just play the dating game and jump through a few small hoops that simultaneously help develop other life skills, as detailed above.
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You can be a "sugar daddy" without being a NSG. Unless cashing out means something different.
TheDavidLettermanShow said:
Too much work. I'll just let my million dollar salary as a future neurosurgery attending do all the talking.
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TheDavidLettermanShow said:
Yeah. Also, being single at 35 isn't as much of a death sentence as it is for women.
Click to expand...

Unless you're directly paying, your salary won't be much of a factor in 2020. Some women do care about the money, but there's a very direct exchange involved. Most care about the looks/personality and being an average office worker is very sufficient for most.

And you think a 35 year old guy has more dating options than a 35 year old woman? lool!
 
TheDavidLettermanShow said:
I go to a top 5 medical school. So no, I don't set all my bars low. Based on your post history, you got a D- in ochem, so I guess you're the one who is setting bars low. Let me guess, you're at a low tier school now?

And sure, you can see my squat. Technically speaking, setting bars low on a squat is good. That means I'm not quarter squatting 4 plates like you probably are.
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Well this went from 0 to 100 real quick.
 
MedicineZ0Z said:
You can be a "sugar daddy" without being a NSG. Unless cashing out means something different.



Unless you're directly paying, your salary won't be much of a factor in 2020. Some women do care about the money, but there's a very direct exchange involved. Most care about the looks/personality and being an average office worker is very sufficient for most.

And you think a 35 year old guy has more dating options than a 35 year old woman? lool!
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Hey! I was just trying to post some standard dating stuff. It was that guy who's hating on high bar squats who even brought neurosurgery into this. I guess its on point with his neurosurgery aspirations as high bar's notorious for cervical radiculopathy pain if you're doing stupid stuff.
 
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BacktotheBasics said:
Hey! I was just trying to post some standard dating stuff. It was that guy who's hating on high bar squats who even brought neurosurgery into this. I guess its on point with his neurosurgery aspirations as high bar's notorious for cervical radiculopathy pain if you're doing stupid stuff.
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You'd be surprised! Premeds and MS1s will read this and decide to do NSG cause they think that is what will solve their dating problems.
 
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