Dealing With Dissenters

[RaistlinMajere]

I was eating dinner with a close friend tonight. The topic of going to medical school came up and my friend commented that he considered medicine, but would never want the pressure of being responsible for someone else's life. He said that fear kept him out of pursuing a career as a physician.

It's not that I haven't thought about the risks associated with medicine, but to me, the feeling is overshadowed by the fact that I would be making a positive difference in most patients lives. Basically, I think the reward outweighs the risk.

When I told him this he just reiterated his arguement about the stress. He was really negative, which was surprising because his father is a successful anesthesiologist.

How have you handled negative responses from friends/family when they find out that your applying to medical school?

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[doc05]

maybe he knows something that you don't. maybe he's just more mature. anyhow, there are many reasons why a career in medicine may not be a good choice. be sure you've put a lot of thought into your decision.

 

[maygirl]

I was eating dinner with a close friend tonight. The topic of going to medical school came up and my friend commented that he considered medicine, but would never want the pressure of being responsible for someone else's life. He said that fear kept him out of pursuing a career as a physician.

It's not that I haven't thought about the risks associated with medicine, but to me, the feeling is overshadowed by the fact that I would be making a positive difference in most patients lives. Basically, I think the reward outweighs the risk.

When I told him this he just reiterated his arguement about the stress. He was really negative, which was surprising because his father is a successful anesthesiologist.

How have you handled negative responses from friends/family when they find out that your applying to medical school?

Well, you can't necessarily change his mind. To him, the risk outweighs the personal reward, while to you, it's the opposite. And there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. It's a personal thing. All you have to say is that you can handle the risks and pressures, and that if he can't, well, then, that's good that he didn't choose medicine. Medicine is not for everyone.

 

[VPDcurt]

I was eating dinner with a close friend tonight. The topic of going to medical school came up and my friend commented that he considered medicine, but would never want the pressure of being responsible for someone else's life. He said that fear kept him out of pursuing a career as a physician.

It's not that I haven't thought about the risks associated with medicine, but to me, the feeling is overshadowed by the fact that I would be making a positive difference in most patients lives. Basically, I think the reward outweighs the risk.

When I told him this he just reiterated his arguement about the stress. He was really negative, which was surprising because his father is a successful anesthesiologist.

How have you handled negative responses from friends/family when they find out that your applying to medical school?

To each his own. There is no need to discuss that situation any further with your friend.

 

[RAwe]

Just don't mind them, they'll be one day calling you and asking you to fill out thier prescriptions when you're done. Then they'll be grateful you took that route.

 

[sKorpia]

he just reiterated his arguement about the stress. He was really negative, which was surprising because his father is a successful anesthesiologist.

The fact that his father is a successful anesthesiologist might point out why he's focused on the stress part. Maybe he's seen his father take the job home with him, unable to fully relax and enjoy his family. Or maybe his father was a workaholic who didn't have time for him. Maybe the job adversely affected his dad and that's what he remembers most.

What you should ask for from your friend is his support. You can say that you acknowledge where he's coming from, but since you're friends, you'd appreciate knowing that you can lean on him through this process when you need it.

 

[lorelei]

"Yeah, I can see why you decided that. I've thought about this a lot, and I decided it was the right choice for me. I'm really excited about it."

I try to listen to what the person is saying and understand their feelings, but not apply their comments to my personal goals at all. I mean, I take what other people say into account if it makes sense, but I don't argue with them. I just jump right from validating their opinion to telling them I've made my decision and I'm happy with it.

This applies in all areas of life, by the way. For example, if my mom complains about a boyfriend: "Yeah, being lazy/ugly/mean would definitely be a problem. I understand your concern. I really like Jim/Bob/Dave and I think he's just right for me. I'm so happy to be with him."

 

[suscsicisi2000]

The fact that his father is a successful anesthesiologist might point out why he's focused on the stress part. Maybe he's seen his father take the job home with him, unable to fully relax and enjoy his family. Or maybe his father was a workaholic who didn't have time for him. Maybe the job adversely affected his dad and that's what he remembers most.

What you should ask for from your friend is his support. You can say that you acknowledge where he's coming from, but since you're friends, you'd appreciate knowing that you can lean on him through this process when you need it.

I am not suprised at all that your friend has a negative view of medicine due to the fact that he has a family member that is a doctor. My family members that are physicians and family friends that are physicians actually encourage me, their own kids, and others to choose a profession other than medicine. They have seen a transition from making a lot of money (although you can still make a good living in medicine, but not like before), little paperwork, not performing unnecessary tests to cover for possible malpractice cases, and not dealing with insurance like today to a completely different situation. The fact is that everyone has to make their own decision, and all of the reasons I mentioned above have impacted the way some doctors convey their sense of the current state of the medical profession. However, my experience has been such that people should go into medicine if it is in their heart. Any other excuse, motivation, or deviation from that fact is usually irrelevant.