Dealing with drama.

[torok]

Hi all, I started my first lab rotation last week (incoming MS1) and I'm already running into some lab drama, leaving me with serious doubts about the rest of the rotation. It doesn't involve me, but it gives me the impression that this lab is not healthy. I can think of explanations/reasons, but I'm not sure if I'm trying too hard to like my first lab.

For example:
The postdoc has been yelled at by the PI at least three times in the past week right in front of me. It was really scary and awkward. (He's really nice to me though.?)
A visiting PhD student was 'fired' yesterday, and is going to be sent back to his home country by the end of the month. He mentioned hating it in this lab, but I didn't get a chance to ask him why.

So when I went into the coordinator's office to handle some paperwork, she asked me how I was doing and how I liked the lab. I answered honestly and mentioned the situations above. I'm not sure if confiding in my program's coordinator was smart. Do most students confide in their program advisers, or is this a no-no? (This is probably a stupid question, but I'm kind of paranoid at this point..)

I also ended up asking the postdoc about the environment here, and why the student was fired. (I feel like this was borderline rude...). Apparently it was a personality conflict issue, and not funding. I feel better after talking to the postdoc, but now I'm not sure what to look for in picking a good, productive thesis lab/mentor. I've heard advice ranging from 'you don't want to work with *******s' to 'every PI is like this'.

Hopefully someone can give me some insight. Thank you!

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[solitude]

Hi all, I started my first lab rotation last week (incoming MS1) and I'm already running into some lab drama, leaving me with serious doubts about the rest of the rotation. It doesn't involve me, but it gives me the impression that this lab is not healthy. I can think of explanations/reasons, but I'm not sure if I'm trying too hard to like my first lab.

For example:
The postdoc has been yelled at by the PI at least three times in the past week right in front of me. It was really scary and awkward. (He's really nice to me though.?)
A visiting PhD student was 'fired' yesterday, and is going to be sent back to his home country by the end of the month. He mentioned hating it in this lab, but I didn't get a chance to ask him why.

So when I went into the coordinator's office to handle some paperwork, she asked me how I was doing and how I liked the lab. I answered honestly and mentioned the situations above. I'm not sure if confiding in my program's coordinator was smart. Do most students confide in their program advisers, or is this a no-no? (This is probably a stupid question, but I'm kind of paranoid at this point..)

I also ended up asking the postdoc about the environment here, and why the student was fired. (I feel like this was borderline rude...). Apparently it was a personality conflict issue, and not funding. I feel better after talking to the postdoc, but now I'm not sure what to look for in picking a good, productive thesis lab/mentor. I've heard advice ranging from 'you don't want to work with *******s' to 'every PI is like this'.

Hopefully someone can give me some insight. Thank you!

Hard to know exactly what to do, but given that I'm in a lab with a lot of "drama" (see my recent thread), I will tell you that I have never observed incidents like you mentioned. I think they are pretty extreme. I would finish up the rotation and see if things get better, but plan to probably join a different lab.

 

[Neuronix]

Hard to know exactly what to do, but given that I'm in a lab with a lot of "drama" (see my recent thread), I will tell you that I have never observed incidents like you mentioned. I think they are pretty extreme. I would finish up the rotation and see if things get better, but plan to probably join a different lab.

Agreed. Not every lab is like that. People are generally not willing to say negative things about professors, so when they do, especially if multiple people say so, you should know to avoid the area.

 

[QofQuimica]

Agree with the others. Finish your rotation, do a couple more rotations, and choose a different lab for your PhD.

Also, stop confiding in the PC...or in anyone else at the school. You've been there all of one week; you don't want to start out with people thinking you're a complainer, especially about something like this that is a clearly defined temporary situation which will inherently resolve on its own when you leave the lab in August. If people ask how you like it, smile and say that you're learning some interesting things. You don't have to tell them that what you're learning is that you should flee this lab.

 

[torok]

Hard to know exactly what to do, but given that I'm in a lab with a lot of "drama" (see my recent thread), I will tell you that I have never observed incidents like you mentioned. I think they are pretty extreme. I would finish up the rotation and see if things get better, but plan to probably join a different lab.

Agreed. Not every lab is like that. People are generally not willing to say negative things about professors, so when they do, especially if multiple people say so, you should know to avoid the area.

Agree with the others. Finish your rotation, do a couple more rotations, and choose a different lab for your PhD.

Also, stop confiding in the PC...or in anyone else at the school. You've been there all of one week; you don't want to start out with people thinking you're a complainer, especially about something like this that is a clearly defined temporary situation which will inherently resolve on its own when you leave the lab in August. If people ask how you like it, smile and say that you're learning some interesting things. You don't have to tell them that what you're learning is that you should flee this lab.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'll cross my fingers and hope it gets better, but we'll see how it goes.

Also, QofQuimica - I'll keep that in mind, and I'll have to learn how to keep my mouth shut. I didn't go into nearly as much detail as I did here (cause I didn't want to seem too negative, as you've said), but hopefully this won't bite me in the butt later. Thanks for the perspective; it wasn't until this morning that I really realized that this was temporary, and that I wasn't committed to this lab for 3 years.

 

[QofQuimica]

Also, QofQuimica - I'll keep that in mind, and I'll have to learn how to keep my mouth shut. I didn't go into nearly as much detail as I did here (cause I didn't want to seem too negative, as you've said), but hopefully this won't bite me in the butt later. Thanks for the perspective; it wasn't until this morning that I really realized that this was temporary, and that I wasn't committed to this lab for 3 years.

I wouldn't worry too much; she probably forgot about your conversation five minutes after you walked out of the room. Most people don't really care how you are or how you feel. They're just asking to be polite and expecting you to say, "fine, how are you?" So don't tell people more than they want to hear, *especially* not before you figure out who you can trust and who is going to blab your business all over the department. Also, don't badmouth anyone else, including other students. That's a surefire way to start some drama yourself.

In the whole scheme of things, this rotation will affect your life exactly none. So just relax, enjoy the summer, and get to know the city and your classmates.

 

[solitude]

Most people don't really care how you are or how you feel.

this is pure gold. Sadly, true.

 

[mercaptovizadeh]

This is phatic communication. Administrators don't care how you "really" are. The only time I involved administration was when I had to, i.e. switched labs. I would also imagine anyone leaving the program would do that as well.

As for the lab, run fast, run far. A PI yelling at a post-doc but "nice" to you will get nasty real fast when you are a permanent fixture. You're new, transient, and could easily badmouth the PI to others with consequences (the postdoc is his slave and will get a bad recommendation letter if he resists). This PI has no real power over you. Just do as you're told and finish up this rotation and move on to a lab where there excellent chemistry and collegiality between the PI and his subordinates, and amongst the various subordinates themselves.

 

[Fencer]

... Administrators don't care how you "really" are. The only time I involved administration was when I had to, i.e. switched labs. I would also imagine anyone leaving the program would do that as well...

I disagree. As a Program Director (PD), some of us really care about each of our MD/PhD students. After all, they (you) are our legacy to the next generation of clinician scientists.

You should eventually have a frank conversation with your PD about this lab. Our job is to mentor you but also encourage and protect you. I agree with the general advise. You should not badmouth the lab openly to other students, but you should discuss the situation with the PD.