auferstehen92

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Apr 24, 2014
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I came home to a difficult situation today when I found my roommate packing her stuff into a moving van. Apparently she had decided to defer her medical education and never found it important to inform me of her decision (or find me a new roommate). I fear SDN isn't completely anonymous, so I don't want to get into specifics, but I'm quite confident that her decision to defer was related to poor academic performance and a desire to be with her boyfriend.

Now, I could be wrong, but I thought that deferrals were reserved for very serious reasons and were not handed out like "get out of jail free" cards. As physicians, we will be expected to deal with emotional stresses on a daily basis. We can't simply walk out of the hospital/clinic because we're having a bad day.

I know that medical schools are not keen on having their students drop out, so I wonder if this played into their decision to grant the deferral. I guess I'm just curious whether or not this should be something that I take up with the medical administration. Would this be sticking my nose into something that isn't my business? I am very bitter that this student basically took someone else's spot in medical school and didn't have the maturity to help me find a new roommate, leaving me in a difficult financial situation.
 

peridotthecat

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Feb 10, 2016
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Why would you go to the administration? What exactly do you have to say to them? You don't know why they decided to grant the deferral (or apparently even what their policies are). I don't think the dean or whoever is especially gonna care that you're upset that your roommate was rude to you and might be kinda annoyed at you barging in criticizing their decisions on a matter that only tangentially affects you
 
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auferstehen92

auferstehen92

5+ Year Member
Apr 24, 2014
40
37
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Medical Student
Why would you go to the administration? What exactly do you have to say to them? You don't know why they decided to grant the deferral (or apparently even what their policies are). I don't think the dean or whoever is especially gonna care that you're upset that your roommate was rude to you and might be kinda annoyed at you barging in criticizing their decisions on a matter that only tangentially affects you
I guess "take it up with the administration" was poor wording.

As I said, I'm bitter at the moment so probably not thinking with an entirely clear head. But even if I weren't directly impacted by the decision, do I not have some right as a student to express my grieviences if they are pointed and well articulated? I just feel like the values of my institution have been revealed to be slightly disingenuous and that bothers me.
 
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hello1234!

2+ Year Member
Jul 29, 2016
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Attending Physician
You are making this about you and how it makes you feel. It's not about you. Its a decision the school made about another student, and it really is truly none of your business. What if it turns out your roommate was suicidal or something?
 
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auferstehen92

auferstehen92

5+ Year Member
Apr 24, 2014
40
37
Status
Medical Student
You are making this about you and how it makes you feel. It's not about you. Its a decision the school made about another student, and it really is truly none of your business. What if it turns out your roommate was suicidal or something?
Point taken, I'm not afraid to admit when I am in the wrong. Thank you for your advice.
 
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peridotthecat

2+ Year Member
Feb 10, 2016
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I guess "take it up with the administration" was poor wording.

As I said, I'm bitter at the moment so probably not thinking with an entirely clear head. But even if I weren't directly impacted by the decision, do I not have some right as a student to express my grieviences if they are pointed and well articulated? I just feel like the values of my institution have been revealed to be slightly disingenuous and that bothers me.
They haven't really been revealed, though, I'd argue. You don't seem to actually know for sure why your roommate left (maybe there was a family emergency, maybe she's been having mental health/medical issues, etc.). I would guess that the administration took time to evaluate this decision and probably has more information about the situation than you do.

You have a right to express your "grievances," I just doubt they could come off as pointed and well-articulated in this scenario. My sense is they're more likely to seem whiny
 
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wholeheartedly

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that wouldn't be appropriate at all. you have no idea what went into their decision. if your roomate didn't discuss leaving with you, then you obviously aren't involved in what's going on in their life enough to do more than speculate on the reasons.

Now you do have a right to be upset if you're getting shafted for their part of the rent. whether or not you have any recourse there might depend on how your lease is written and whose name(s) are on it.
 

Smurfette

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Did you ask your roommate about whether she's going to find a subletter to cover her rent expenses? Most people are responsible enough to think about this; she may have wanted to move out ASAP but plans to find someone to cover her portion of the rent. Or did you leap to the assumption that she's leaving you in a lurch without asking her directly?
 

Stagg737

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Jul 2, 2013
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I came home to a difficult situation today when I found my roommate packing her stuff into a moving van. Apparently she had decided to defer her medical education and never found it important to inform me of her decision (or find me a new roommate). I fear SDN isn't completely anonymous, so I don't want to get into specifics, but I'm quite confident that her decision to defer was related to poor academic performance and a desire to be with her boyfriend.

Now, I could be wrong, but I thought that deferrals were reserved for very serious reasons and were not handed out like "get out of jail free" cards. As physicians, we will be expected to deal with emotional stresses on a daily basis. We can't simply walk out of the hospital/clinic because we're having a bad day.

I know that medical schools are not keen on having their students drop out, so I wonder if this played into their decision to grant the deferral. I guess I'm just curious whether or not this should be something that I take up with the medical administration. Would this be sticking my nose into something that isn't my business? I am very bitter that this student basically took someone else's spot in medical school and didn't have the maturity to help me find a new roommate, leaving me in a difficult financial situation.
I think the difficult financial situation you're in is a very valid concern, but as others have said this is not an issue for the administration. You should be discussing the rent/sub-letting issue with your old roommate and if she says she's not going to do anything about it then bring it up with your landlord. Unfortunately, if there is no new roommate or there are other issues you may just have to eat her half of the rent or take her to court. Either way, it's not an issue to bring up with your school's administration.
 
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