Deferred a year and now having doubts

[Doctorwhoafficionado]

Hello all!

I was accepted to medical school last June off of the waitlist and decided to defer. During my year off I have had serious doubts about going and have been looking into other careers. I'm not sure if my doubts are stemming from my lack of confidence, fear and the thought that I'm not "cut out to be a doctor", or the daunting fact that perhaps I'm not as into medicine as I thought I was. I fear commitment and crippling debt. I have seen posts about how if you can see yourself doing anything else besides being a doctor, med school is not for you. My problem is when I look to my future, I can't see myself in any certain profession at the moment. However, I have made it this far and I'd just feel like I was giving up if I were to turn down the acceptance. Also the thought of being "blacklisted" gives me a very uneasy feeling.

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me advice. I been going back and forth on this all year and the time has come to actually make up my mind.

Thanks in advance!

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[ndafife]

1. Yeah, you will likely get blacklisted if you turn down the acceptance. You have been accepted to medical school. You've deferred that acceptance a year. If you're ever going to go to medical school, the time is now.

2. I recommend making a decision before you start. You mention debt as a a big issue for you. It really could be a lot worse. 200k in debt with a 300k/year salary is much better than 100k in debt with a 50k/year salary. But if you are going to decide against medicine its much better to choose now before you start taking on more debt because a few years of medical student loans will limit what you are able to do professionally. What you don't want is a few years of medical school debt without the possibility of a doctor's salary.

 

[W19]

I recommend making a decision before you start. You mention debt as a a big issue for you. It really could be a lot worse. 200k in debt with a 300k/year salary is much better than 100k in debt with a 50k/year salary. But if you are going to decide against medicine its much better to choose now before you start taking on more debt because a few years of medical student loans will limit what you are able to do professionally. What you don't want is a few years of medical school debt without the possibility of a doctor's salary.

200k in debt with a 300k/year salary is still a heck of a lot better than ZERO debt with a 100k/year salary...

 

[W19]

Hello all!

I was accepted to medical school last June off of the waitlist and decided to defer. During my year off I have had serious doubts about going and have been looking into other careers. I'm not sure if my doubts are stemming from my lack of confidence, fear and the thought that I'm not "cut out to be a doctor", or the daunting fact that perhaps I'm not as into medicine as I thought I was. I fear commitment and crippling debt. I have seen posts about how if you can see yourself doing anything else besides being a doctor, med school is not for you. My problem is when I look to my future, I can't see myself in any certain profession at the moment. However, I have made it this far and I'd just feel like I was giving up if I were to turn down the acceptance. Also the thought of being "blacklisted" gives me a very uneasy feeling.

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me advice. I been going back and forth on this all year and the time has come to actually make up my mind.

Thanks in advance!

This type of sentiment usually comes mostly from premeds... You don't have to love medicine, but at least you should like it or be ok with it. At the end of the day, it is a job but you have to be emotionally invested in it in some manner in order to have the drive to continue to do it.

 

[Osteoth]

Make two lists.

1. Why do/did I want to go to medical school.
2. Why do I now not want to go to medical school.

If you can find the things in list 1 in another career, do that instead. If not, swallow the pill and join the cult.

 

[softball2344]

1. Yeah, you will likely get blacklisted if you turn down the acceptance. You have been accepted to medical school. You've deferred that acceptance a year. If you're ever going to go to medical school, the time is now.

2. I recommend making a decision before you start. You mention debt as a a big issue for you. It really could be a lot worse. 200k in debt with a 300k/year salary is much better than 100k in debt with a 50k/year salary. But if you are going to decide against medicine its much better to choose now before you start taking on more debt because a few years of medical student loans will limit what you are able to do professionally. What you don't want is a few years of medical school debt without the possibility of a doctor's salary.

I feel like most doctors aren't making 300k..

When I graduate I'll be in 300k and likely in a lower paying field (so maybe making 200-220k). Honestly if I'd gone into tech or engineering I'd be better off financially, but I guess I also have to consider that I was a biology major who didn't have the option of just switching into those high paying fields lol

 

[TheaterOfTheme]

Hello all!

I was accepted to medical school last June off of the waitlist and decided to defer. During my year off I have had serious doubts about going and have been looking into other careers. I'm not sure if my doubts are stemming from my lack of confidence, fear and the thought that I'm not "cut out to be a doctor", or the daunting fact that perhaps I'm not as into medicine as I thought I was. I fear commitment and crippling debt. I have seen posts about how if you can see yourself doing anything else besides being a doctor, med school is not for you. My problem is when I look to my future, I can't see myself in any certain profession at the moment. However, I have made it this far and I'd just feel like I was giving up if I were to turn down the acceptance. Also the thought of being "blacklisted" gives me a very uneasy feeling.

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me advice. I been going back and forth on this all year and the time has come to actually make up my mind.

Thanks in advance!

I felt sort of the same in my gap year--interestingly enough, being in med school has inspired me even more to use what little free time I have to pursue my other passions and hobbies. I also echo the sentiment that you don't have to only see yourself as a physician to go into medicine. For me personally, music and medicine were the only two careers I've ever seen myself going into. I chose medicine because music is a horrible career. But that doesn't mean I'm not equally if not a bit more 'passionate' about music--or that I will stop pursuing it. I am actually working on an EP with my band and my time dedicated to music has never been as focused as before. Medical school is insane--but it's also very interesting--you really can't fully know till you jump in. I am not trying to encourage you either way, but in my opinion, medical school (only experienced pre-clinical btw) is much better than a lot of things.

 

[W19]

I feel like most doctors aren't making 300k..

When I graduate I'll be in 300k and likely in a lower paying field (so maybe making 200-220k). Honestly if I'd gone into tech or engineering I'd be better off financially, but I guess I also have to consider that I was a biology major who didn't have the option of just switching into those high paying fields lol

That's another misconception out there...

The Top 1 Percent: What Jobs Do They Have?

 

[Stagg737]

This type of sentiment usually comes mostly from premeds... You don't have to love medicine, but at least you should like it or be ok with it. At the end of the day, it is a job but you have to me emotionally invested in it in some manner in order to have the drive to continue to do it.

Agree, people seem to exaggerate the passion needed to become a physician and continue practicing medicine. Yes, you should enjoy the subject matter and be able to at least tolerate the more frustrating/annoying aspects of the path. However, I know very few med students and physicians for which medicine is truly their passion.

@Doctorwhoafficionado , if you do believe you'll enjoy medicine, I would matriculate and give it a go for a semester. If you really don't like it, you can drop during 1st semester before you rack up too much debt. Imo, it's better for you to give it a go and know it's not for you than never try and always wonder "what if".

I feel like most doctors aren't making 300k..

When I graduate I'll be in 300k and likely in a lower paying field (so maybe making 200-220k). Honestly if I'd gone into tech or engineering I'd be better off financially, but I guess I also have to consider that I was a biology major who didn't have the option of just switching into those high paying fields lol

It's much easier to make 300k as a physician than most people realize, and is absolutely possible in any field if you're willing to work hard enough or have a decent business model. According to the data from multiple surveys, even the average in the lowest paying specialty (peds) now clears 200k. The other aspect is that there's more job security in medicine than almost any other field out there, so even if you're "only" making 200k you'll never have to worry about being out of work (or at least not for very long).

 

[ReywantstobeanMD]

Hi, I know that you and I most likely have a myriad of differences in our life experiences thus far but I thought I would say this since I've been in the same boat as you in regards to wondering if I wouldn't be happier doing something else. I have been thoroughly enjoying my first year off school since I was 4 yrs old. I was just accepted to medical school about a month ago. In the last 7 years I have been an undergrad, a masters student, research tech, bartender, server, model, referee, volunteer and personal trainer. All of these different jobs have given me a lot of insight into what it is to live and hustle in and out of school while in debt. I think that embarking on the journey to being a physician is going to be more than a financial option for me, it's about moving forward in many facets of my life. So i guess the real question is does medicine make you feel like you're moving forward? If so, I say, along with everyone else here, keep on moving. I was in a car crash on Tuesday that could've killed me and definitely made me question my life. Life is too short to look back and wonder wonder what if. My two cents anyway.

 

[W19]

It's much easier to make 300k as a physician than most people realize, and is absolutely possible in any field if you're willing to work hard enough or have a decent business model. According to the data from multiple surveys, even the average in the lowest paying specialty (peds) now clears 200k. The other aspect is that there's more job security in medicine than almost any other field out there, so even if you're "only" making 200k you'll never have to worry about being out of work (or at least not for very long).

That's another aspect that many don't consider... I witnessed what a couple of my engineer friends went thru during the recession. These guys were relegating to working for $14-15/hr.

Medicine is not all and all, but as someone who come from a 3rd word country where getting any job is a luxury, taking some BS from what goes on in medicine in exchange for job security and great pay in a win IMO...

 

[Doctorwhoafficionado]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the advice.
@Osteoth I'm going to write the answers down to those questions tomorrow!

Not sure if I'm alone in this or others have thought this too but one of my worst fears is making mistakes. And in the medical field obviously a mistake can be the difference between life and death and that terrifies me. Does medical school prepare you for what might happen? And what are strategies for working 60-80 work weeks on little sleep and yet still providing quality patient care? Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead or perhaps my confidence will grow as I gain knowledge and progress through med school but this is something I've thought about a lot.

 

[Giovanotto]

OP: I think this should help, and in this example, pizza = what you think medical school is going to be like vs. what it's actually like.

 

[RangerBob]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the advice.
@Osteoth I'm going to write the answers down to those questions tomorrow!

Not sure if I'm alone in this or others have thought this too but one of my worst fears is making mistakes. And in the medical field obviously a mistake can be the difference between life and death and that terrifies me. Does medical school prepare you for what might happen? And what are strategies for working 60-80 work weeks on little sleep and yet still providing quality patient care? Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead or perhaps my confidence will grow as I gain knowledge and progress through med school but this is something I've thought about a lot.

You learn as you go. Medical school and residency will prepare you if you show up and put in the work.

Though, I've never actually worked an 80hr week (aside from some med school rotations)... I guess that means I chose the right field!

Still, you can worry all you want about all sorts of things. I used to be interested in being a structural engineer, and wanted to design bridges, skyscrapers, etc. Lots of lives would be at stake if I did something wrong--far more than if I made an error as a physician. If I became a teacher like I also thought about, I could mess up kids for life! And if I became a park ranger, well, a squirrel might get lost or something.

The fact is our job is very important--that's part of why it's stressful and mistakes can have consequences. If a surgeon doesn't show up for work, it impacts people in a very negative way. If I didn't show up to work at my local drug store back in high school, anyone else could've filled my spot. I'm not saying I didn't matter there and that the job wasn't important, but it certainly doesn't carry the privilege and responsibility that being a physician does.

 

[WingedOx]

I have seen posts about how if you can see yourself doing anything else besides being a doctor, med school is not for you.

Yeah, those posts are bullsh-t.

I'd like to think I'd have been a really good litigator by this point in my life if I'd have put in the same number of hours of training and experience that I'd put into medicine. Of course, the law field is a tar pit, so score more points for medicine.

One thing I've learned now that I'm an attending is that "I don't think I'd be good at something" in medicine doesn't really mean much. You spend so many damn hours learning and training that you eventually get there. There are a lot of aspects of this job I'm only good at because of experience.

 

[evilmorty1307]

Hello all!

I was accepted to medical school last June off of the waitlist and decided to defer. During my year off I have had serious doubts about going and have been looking into other careers. I'm not sure if my doubts are stemming from my lack of confidence, fear and the thought that I'm not "cut out to be a doctor", or the daunting fact that perhaps I'm not as into medicine as I thought I was. I fear commitment and crippling debt. I have seen posts about how if you can see yourself doing anything else besides being a doctor, med school is not for you. My problem is when I look to my future, I can't see myself in any certain profession at the moment. However, I have made it this far and I'd just feel like I was giving up if I were to turn down the acceptance. Also the thought of being "blacklisted" gives me a very uneasy feeling.

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me advice. I been going back and forth on this all year and the time has come to actually make up my mind.

Thanks in advance!

This must have been the most surreal post I have ever read in my life. This is almost my exact situation. I know how you feel. I have been dealing with the exact same emotions and thoughts for the past year. I still have not really, "decided". I was even offered a job in the $70ish K a year range in my city and turned it down b/c I couldn't make up my mind. It is a hard decision. Even more so if you aren't necessarily excited about the location of the school; which is an additional stressor for me. Hopefully we will figure out lives out before school starts ha.

 

[Osteoth]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the advice.
@Osteoth I'm going to write the answers down to those questions tomorrow!

Not sure if I'm alone in this or others have thought this too but one of my worst fears is making mistakes. And in the medical field obviously a mistake can be the difference between life and death and that terrifies me. Does medical school prepare you for what might happen? And what are strategies for working 60-80 work weeks on little sleep and yet still providing quality patient care? Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead or perhaps my confidence will grow as I gain knowledge and progress through med school but this is something I've thought about a lot.

It's interesting but I actually think the more you work the better you become as a clinician, even when you're tired. Certain things that start off as so foreign become like second nature to you because you're doing them 50x a day, 6 days a week.

I think 60 hours is very very doable, 7-7, with time to exercise and sleep. 80 (7-9) is when it starts to get hairy. Even then though you really just have to make it through the week, and then you get Saturday & Sunday to recover and catch up on life. You might have call one-night, but from what I understand its mandated that residency programs give you at least 1 day off a week.

Yeah, those posts are bullsh-t.

I'd like to think I'd have been a really good litigator by this point in my life if I'd have put in the same number of hours of training and experience that I'd put into medicine. Of course, the law field is a tar pit, so score more points for medicine.

One thing I've learned now that I'm an attending is that "I don't think I'd be good at something" in medicine doesn't really mean much. You spend so many damn hours learning and training that you eventually get there. There are a lot of aspects of this job I'm only good at because of experience.

Yeah, I read a study a while back (couldn't find the link or I'd post it) that proclivity or interest/passion only helps you during the first 50% of learning an activity/skill. After that it's just the amount of hours/repetitions you're able to get in.

 

[longhaul3]

You have the golden ticket. Go meet Wonka.

In all seriousness, no field can hold a candle to medicine in terms of job security and social esteem. If you earned admission to an accredited US medical school, you should not doubt that you can succeed academically; graduation rates are extremely high. Of course it is as steep a learning curve as there is in any profession, so it is hard to see how you can possibly get from A to Z, but it happens without you realizing it.

If you can't see yourself in any profession, meaning they're all equal in your eyes (and assuming you need a profession and are not an heiress), what would be a better choice?

 

[bonemann]

A med school acceptance is the golden ticket. Think about it
Edit: wow, beaten!

 

[atomi]

Hello all!

I was accepted to medical school last June off of the waitlist and decided to defer. During my year off I have had serious doubts about going and have been looking into other careers. I'm not sure if my doubts are stemming from my lack of confidence, fear and the thought that I'm not "cut out to be a doctor", or the daunting fact that perhaps I'm not as into medicine as I thought I was. I fear commitment and crippling debt. I have seen posts about how if you can see yourself doing anything else besides being a doctor, med school is not for you. My problem is when I look to my future, I can't see myself in any certain profession at the moment. However, I have made it this far and I'd just feel like I was giving up if I were to turn down the acceptance. Also the thought of being "blacklisted" gives me a very uneasy feeling.

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me advice. I been going back and forth on this all year and the time has come to actually make up my mind.

Thanks in advance!

OP, I was in your exact shoes 10 years ago when I was in my early 20s. I was on the fence about going to med school despite an acceptance to a top school. I was afraid of the debt, but more than anything I was afraid of the commitment. Once you get on this train, there really is no turning back. And it's a very long ride. I deferred a year at the last second, and was very lucky to get such an arrangement. I ultimately ended up going, but came in with a lot of fears and reservations. Despite a low COA and bringing a lot of cash to the table, my (relatively modest compared to peers) loans bothered me. It was tough because I wasn't committed enough, and I didn't do as well as I otherwise could have because I was always on the verge of quitting and fleeing back to my previous cushy $100k/year career.

Fast forward 10 years, I am now about to finish residency and am looking for jobs. I am getting calls from multiple recruiters daily. Jobs across the board are $500-600k starting with total compensation packages pushing $800k. $50k signing bonuses and $200k loan repayment are the norm. It is a nice feeling knowing that all of your work has paid off and your skills are in demand. In retrospect, worrying about $20k loans per semester seems trivial.

The bottom line is that this is your only shot. You were extraordinarily lucky, whether you realize it or not, to get a deferral based on second thoughts. Med schools don't like students who are unsure about medicine. If you get cold feet again, you're done. If there is no other career you are truly passionate about, then enroll in med school and don't look back. There are tons of specialties and a place for virtually anybody. Even people who hate patient interactions have tons of options from radiology to pathology to administration to research to education to policy to bioinformatics to ad nausem. There are very few other careers that will essentially set you up for life if you jump through all the hoops correctly, and that's the cost of this: 10 years of simply following instructions jumping through a ton of mildly annoying hoops. So, yes, do it, but don't do what I did and come in with what-ifs and second thoughts. Shed them now, as they will make things exponentially harder for you. Jump on the train and don't look back.

 

[Doctorwhoafficionado]

OP, I was in your exact shoes 10 years ago when I was in my early 20s. I was on the fence about going to med school despite an acceptance to a top school. I was afraid of the debt, but more than anything I was afraid of the commitment. Once you get on this train, there really is no turning back. And it's a very long ride. I deferred a year at the last second, and was very lucky to get such an arrangement. I ultimately ended up going, but came in with a lot of fears and reservations. Despite a low COA and bringing a lot of cash to the table, my (relatively modest compared to peers) loans bothered me. It was tough because I wasn't committed enough, and I didn't do as well as I otherwise could have because I was always on the verge of quitting and fleeing back to my previous cushy $100k/year career.

Fast forward 10 years, I am now about to finish residency and am looking for jobs. I am getting calls from multiple recruiters daily. Jobs across the board are $500-600k starting with total compensation packages pushing $800k. $50k signing bonuses and $200k loan repayment are the norm. It is a nice feeling knowing that all of your work has paid off and your skills are in demand. In retrospect, worrying about $20k loans per semester seems trivial.

The bottom line is that this is your only shot. You were extraordinarily lucky, whether you realize it or not, to get a deferral based on second thoughts. Med schools don't like students who are unsure about medicine. If you get cold feet again, you're done. If there is no other career you are truly passionate about, then enroll in med school and don't look back. There are tons of specialties and a place for virtually anybody. Even people who hate patient interactions have tons of options from radiology to pathology to administration to research to education to policy to bioinformatics to ad nausem. There are very few other careers that will essentially set you up for life if you jump through all the hoops correctly, and that's the cost of this: 10 years of simply following instructions jumping through a ton of mildly annoying hoops. So, yes, do it, but don't do what I did and come in with what-ifs and second thoughts. Shed them now, as they will make things exponentially harder for you. Jump on the train and don't look back.

Thanks so much this helps me feel a lot better. Because that's what I'm afraid is going to happen (the what ifs and second thoughts) but if I can try to focus on the end goal and stick with it and your advice, hopefully I will be ok. What is your specialty might I ask? I was thinking about psychiatry or pediatrics but I know things definitely change.

And thanks everyone else as well!