MD & DO Depression/Help!

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I'm currently a 4th year medical student in Palestine, and I feel very frustrated and depressed. I'm thinking about taking a 1 year break from the University due to my depression. I feel that I lack a lot of basic knowledge and should take this year to relieve my depression and cover these subjects before induction into clinical medicine years. I never failed a subject and occasionally I even get honours, but really lack alot. I feel anxious in social situations, and I can't just cope easily. I've been afraid since childhood, it's mainly due to the many horrific things I've seen carried on by the Israeli soldiers as a kid on my way to school, and their intrusion into our house several times in the night for no apparent reason whatsoever during my childhood.The love of my life which is in the same Uni and class as well also got diagnosed recently with multiple sclerosis, which was devastating for both of us. I went to the hospital several times to learn how to take history.. Physical exam..but I just can't seem to connect the dots, and I feel I lack a lot of basic info. The other students say they feel the same way, but it's just too damn frustrating for me. I have suicidal tendencies and I'm on antidepressants right now. I don't want to leave my GF, I want to be there for her but it's too much damn pressure, and it has reached its peak. I will never ever leave her, but I'm thinking about taking a 1 year break, I'm also afraid that I will regret this decision, but I feel that I have no choice. It's really tough around here, always was but the cumulative effects of my love's illness, my scary childhood, feeling of lack of competence, constant pressure, difficulty to reach the hospital due to Israeli checkpoints and harassment and this whole ****ty life are making me wondering what's the point of all of this? Perhaps taking a break will make me stronger to face the same pressures until I finish my degree, be supportive to my love and get out of this curse? My family are very supportive and encouraging, still I don't know what to do? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks


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This thread has been reported by several users due to the comments about self-harm. SDN takes such statements seriously and we would like to remind the OP and all posters that SDN should not serve as a place to obtain counseling or other advice regarding significant psychological issues. Anyone who is contemplating harming themselves should immediately seek professional counseling advice, not rely on SDN or other non-professional resources.

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At this time, given the nature of the thread and the concerns expressed, the moderation staff of SDN will close this thread.
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