Design your own rejection letter

Discover Your Odds of Getting into Medical School
This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
The Committee met
They didn't like you at all
Thanks for the money
Members don't see this ad.
 
CHRONIC MD> your very first post on the first page got me laughing so darn hard ! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :thumbup:
 
SoulRFlare said:
Dear Applicant,

after thoroughly reviewing your application materials, the admissions committee has reached a decision. Unfortunately, federal confidentiality statute 10054-W prohibit us from informing you of this decision. If you would like more information regarding your status, please obtain DOE form 100587-Z, enclose a $150 processing fee, and bring the completed form to the Office of Admissions. Mailed forms will not be accepted, and an appointment must be made prior to submitting your form.

If you would like to make an appointment, please download the appointment request form from our website, enclose a $50 processing fee, and submit the form in person. Please note that appointment request forms may only be submitted between the hours of 8:30 and 9 on the fifth tuesday of the month.
If you have already scheduled your appointment, be advised that you are required to produce two forms of ID in addition to your Social Security card and Birth Certificate (ID's obtained using your Social Security card such as drivers licenses will not be accepted, nor will birth certificates dated prior to 1992.)

While the office of admissions works hard to process the information request forms in a timely manner, it often takes months to complete your request. When we have reached a decision regarding your request, you will be sent a confirmation form. Upon receipt of the completed confirmation form along with the $100 processing fee, we will send you information pertaining to the admission committee's decision. This does not, however, guarentee that you will be informed of the decision itself.

Thank you for your interest in the Joseph K. School of Medicine
Click to expand...


I love this one! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
Members don't see this ad :)
I want them to put a boxing glove into a box with a trap spring. So when I open it they can just punch me in the face because that's basically what it will feel like regardless so we might as well go literal.
 
sinephera said:
Despite the University of Whatever's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of an MS1 in your school this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Click to expand...


LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!

That is awesome! :p
 
The Chronic MD said:
February 28, 2003
Dean Jones

**reply letter**

February 28, 2003

Dean Jones
XXX Medical School
PO Box ****
Podunk, USA

Dean Jones,

Thank you for stealing money from my depleted wallet. Just to inform you, I have been accepted at a medical school much higher on my list, so I am not all saddened by your rejection. In fact, I would probably have never attended your medical school even if I had been accepted, as it was merely a backup plan for me. In addition, I have enclosed your rejection letter with my response. Please ignore the brown streak down the middle and the truly rank smell being emitted. I ran out of toilet paper, since I am currently broke and hungry due to the medical school application process. Take care and best of luck in finding 100 unsocial students who will do nothing but spend 24 hours a day in the library reading Harrison.

Smell you later,

Chronic
Click to expand...

this is the funniest post i have ever seen :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
Dear Depakote,

Your application is dumb and you're dumb for sending it to us.

-SUNY Upstate

-------------------------------

Dear Depakote,

WFT n00b?

-Rosalind Franklin

------------------------------

Dear Depakote,

I don't want to ruin our friendship.

-U. of Missouri

------------------------------

Dear Depakote,

Stop calling and stay at least 500ft away at all times.

-U of Rochester's attourney
 
I haven't received one yet, but I'll give it a try:

Dear Baylormed:

After reviewing hundreds of applications of greatly qualified applicants, the Admissions Committee has come to the conclusion that you must have sent your application here by mistake. No, seriously, what were you thinking?? You didn't think you really had a chance, did you?....Oooh, you did. Sorry.

We have already obtained a restraining order that will keep you from wasting our time with your silly jokes ever again. You little rascal. Good lucks on your future endeavors, I've heard podiatry school is not so bad.

Sincerely,
Your Dream School.
 
Sorry, duplicate post.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
Dear Frederico2,

This application period has been extremely competitive. After careful perusal we have finally come to a decision concerning your application. We sincerely hope that you stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night because you aint gonna be a doctor.

Sincerely,
Dean Martin
 
Dear ryandote,


After carefully reviewing your application, we all had a good laugh and forwarded it to the Dental School. Thanks for the $100 and brightening our day.

Sincerely,

the Adcom
 
Dear JackieMD2007,

You can take that MD right out of your screen name, because we're not granting it. You can rest assured however, that we did give your file careful consideration* and have selected the most outstanding candidates for our entering class of 2007.

*by consideration, we mean that we carefully put it in the shredder.

Warmest Regards,

Dr. Iam Notkidding
UT-Chuck Norris School of Medicine
Walker, Texas Ranger Institute
 
Dear TimeResonance,

STAY OUT OF MY MEDICAL SCHOOL.


Sincerly, Adcom

P.S. If I see you again I will notify the proper authorities. Judging from your GPA the police speed dial is being replaced by the Emergency hotline for the department of Animal Control.

These are too fun. :cool:
 
Dear Silkworm:

We regret to inform you that we can not offer you an acceptance. We are puzzled as to why you believed you would be competitive at our esteemed institution. In fact, the sheer absurdity of your application has driven three of our adcomm members clinically insane in their attempt to rationalize your reason for applying here. They had stared into the yawning abyss between our standards and your credentials; the abyss stared back.

Accordingly, to ensure that no other mortal minds could be corrupted by their terrible contents, your AMCAS and secondary application have been tightly sealed in a lead barrel and flung into the fathomless Mariana Trenches. We recommend you to follow.

Sincerely,

The AdComm
 
To Whom It may Concern,

Thank you for applying to ________.

We are sorry to inform you that you suck. We don't have to tell you why you suck, because we are rich, elite, and that damn cool.

Sorry.

Please apply again, we take pleasure in knowing our school is still that damn cool. We get people to pay us to reject them.
 
Dear Mr. Shears,

middle_finger_flame.jpg


Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions
 
July 23, 2006

Hollywood Upstairs Medical College
Office of Admissions
1001 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90028

Hi defrunner!

Holy smokes! You need booze! Calm down, you are going to give yourself skin failure! When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged? I can tell from here that you have too much blood. Let's get you covered in leeches! Now by the morning you'll be good as new. Or dead. The important thing is, we'll know.

You've tried the best, now try the rest! Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.

But you can't come to this medical college. Try again next year!

Dr. Nick Riviera, M.D.
Assistant Deputy Associate Adjunct Appointee Director of Admissions
 
Dear KeepDreaming,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait? you were serious? Ya, no.

Sincereley,
admissions

OR

Dear Keep Dreaming,

Do we want you? (check yes or no)

xNO Yes


Sincereley,
admissions
 
bump....best thread ever!!
 
Dear Mr. Negro,

It is great pleasure that I must inform you we have filled our quota for YOU GUYS this year, and thus there is no need for us to accept you as well. Although diversity is a key factor in making our admissions decisions, don't get it twisted - we don't like YOU GUYS that much!

Good luck next year shawty, dawg, son...or whatever term YOU GUYS use to address each other.

With Jubilation,


Dean of XYZ School of Medicine.
 
Any rejection letter sent in a big, fat envelope that one would expect to be an acceptance letter would be brutal
 
Dear Sle3pyguii,


You suck. Game Over. GG PWN3D N00B. Go cry in a corner.


Sincerely,
Dean of 1234567890.
 
Dear Transmetropol,

It is with an odd mixture of elation and regret that we pen this letter; your application was...well, how do we put this delicately--absolute ****. We have no idea how you came to the conclusion that you could enter our fine halls of medical learning, but we are assuming that the excessive drugs and alcohol may have had something to do with it (yes we smelled your personal statement, and it reeked of cheap vodka, you boozehound--and by the way, there is no K in clinical).

As for your excessive phone calls to various staff members at the admissions office (i.e. your harrassment), I can assure you that a restraining order has been issued and a civil suit will follow.

It is at this time that I would like to re-emphasise the sentiments of the entire admissions committee:

f**k off.

Very sincerely,

Hugh Newman, PhD MD Dean of Admisisons

PS...you will also be assessed a fee for the bounced check. Good day. HN.
 
defrunner said:
July 23, 2006

Hollywood Upstairs Medical College
Office of Admissions
1001 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90028

Hi defrunner!

Holy smokes! You need booze! Calm down, you are going to give yourself skin failure! When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged? I can tell from here that you have too much blood. Let's get you covered in leeches! Now by the morning you'll be good as new. Or dead. The important thing is, we'll know.

You've tried the best, now try the rest! Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.

But you can't come to this medical college. Try again next year!

Dr. Nick Riviera, M.D.
Assistant Deputy Associate Adjunct Appointee Director of Admissions
Click to expand...

:laugh: Nice compilation of Simpson's quotes! :thumbup:
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If I ever land on an admissions comitte this is becoming a question on the interviews/essays...

Dear Oceaner,

We would like to thank you for applying to XYZ school of Medicine. Your qualification show a p...assionate individual. Unfortunately we've filled our quota for passion in this quarter and we felt that your other qualifications were not attuned with the priorities of this school. Furthermore, we were uncertain as to whether you had intended this application to be presented before this comittee. For future references please take note of the enclosed material. We wish you success in your future endeavours.

Sincerely,
Mr. Callingallshots, Dean of Admisisons

Enclosed material:
- "Flip burgers to a comfortable life" Please forward all applications to: ---
 
this is my favorite thread :thumbup:
 
Dear voirlesetoiles,

What were you thinking?

Sincerely,
Admissions Ctte.

P.S. That means no.
 
Dear Mdm_Sparkle,

Exactly what type of crack were you smoking when you got the outrageous brain child that you were good enough for this institution?

Bugger off,
The Dean
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Next unread thread

Similar threads

M
Submitted draft of own letter of rec
Replies
3
Views
605
carson16666
carson16666
P
What to include in an update letter/letter of interest?
Replies
1
Views
479
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
2
  • Locked
What is a WL a soft rejection? What is the purpose?
Replies
18
Views
936
gyngyn
gyngyn
B
Update Letter Post Interview?
Replies
3
Views
359
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
S
Update letter timing
Replies
1
Views
455
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
Top