Design your own rejection letter

BU Medical Sciences
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Dear Drnima,

Do we really need to tell you of the outcome of your application? What were you thinking applying to our school.

Sincerly,
Bob Iyreject
 
bb88:

Are you serious?

-Med School
 
TripleDegree said:
Dear Mr Smith

You have awesome credentials. A 42T MCAT, 3.95 GPA, 5 years of volunteering experience and great LORs from a couple of Nobel laureates. All in all, you seemed like a shoo-in.

That is, until we interviewed you. Unfortunately there's no other way to put it. YOU SO UGLY

All the best for your future endeavours. I've enclosed links to a couple of plastic surgeons and head transplantation specalists that you should consult.


Regards
Dean Jones
Click to expand...


😱


HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Had to resurrect this one!

-DD
 
drnima said:
Dear Mr. Ding Dong,

Since you are one of our many Asian applicants, we have decided to send you this letter in a language which is familiar to you:

Yu no good Mr. Ding, we no want yu heee. Bye Bye.
Click to expand...



OH WOW - ANOTHER HILARIOUS ONE :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
This one gets my vote!

JM. said:
Doubleday University
Director of Admissions




Dear Sam,


We understand your high frustration.
But we don't like your application.

Gleefully we cashed your check.
Bad of us, But what the heck.

We do not like you here or there.
We will not take you. We don't care.

Your faxes, phone calls, begging letters.
Makes us hate you young go-getters.

Not THIS med-school! Can't you see?
Now go away, Sam, let us be!


Sincerely,

Doctor Seuss
Click to expand...
 
Here's my own:

Dear Student,

I regret to inform you that we will not be able to offer you a seat in our medical school class this year. We had many qualified candidates apply for seats at our school; unfortunately, you were not one of them. After careful consideration, we have determined that you do, however, qualify to stand. We would be willing to allow you to start attending classes this year on a standing basis, and perhaps promote you to a small step stool the following year, depending upon how successful you are at standing. If you cannot stand standing, however, we will have no choice but to immediately change your standing into curling up into the fetal position.

I am confident that you will take a successful stand, and I wish you the best in your future endeavors in all positions.

Regards,
Admissions Director
 
Dear Applicant,

After a thourough review of your file we have concluded that we will not be able to accept you to Medical School X at this time. We have recieved a surplus of qualified applicants during the admissions cycle and although the application detailing your accomplishments was impressive, we have concluded that we just dont like you, and we mean that in the most personal way.

While you have worked hard and performed well and volunteered in Uganda and cured cancer, frankly you're incredibly dull and after months of arduous deliberation the committee on admissions has decided that your personality has all the flavor of oatmeal with the full bodied texture of cottage cheese.

Also, after detailed analysis of your passport photo, we have concluded that you are ugly.

Thank you for your application and best of luck in your future endeavors,

Dean of Admissions
 
***GREAT SEAL OF FAMOUS U SOM***

Dear 189, Sunflower:

Congratulations! You have been admitted to the Famous University School of Medicine's special MSTP program for underrepresented personalities.

As you know, Famous University SOM prides itself on the highest standards of notoriety. Whether in the high-flying grants that pay for our conferences in Hawaii, or in our surgeons' spectacular OR tantrums, we are excellence incarnate. While you met or exceeded our academic standards, you showed inadequate preparation in egoism. In fact, you admitted to your interviewer that not only are you a humanist, you also enjoy tutoring for its own sake. While we clearly cannot overlook such a glaring personality defect, we hate to lose otherwise excellent students.

The special MSTP at Famous SOM was designed just for students like you. Under the supervision of one of our high-caliber Famous SOM doctors, you will perform real ground-breaking research. The more ground-breaking, the better - if our celebrity researchers can get a publication out of it, you might even be mentioned in the acknowledgements. Most students can expect to complete the program at age 55, when we allow them to stagger out of postdoctoral limbo.

Unfortunately, we were not able to admit you to the standard MD/PhD program. We had a surplus of qualified gunners this year, and simply did not have room in the class for those with limited star potential. Please note that this decision is not a reflection of your ability to become a doctor, but of your ability to make us look good.

Or maybe it is. Good luck in your future career as our lab slave, because nobody else will want you. Ungrateful b*tch. Withdraw the rest of your applications right now, and we might forgive you.

Sincerely,
Ima Grant-Ho
Dean of Admissions and Tropical Conference Coordinator, Famous SOM
 
Dear ajt2003,

I'm not quite sure how to put this, but here goes:

I'm just not that into you.


Sincerely,

Bumblebamble Medical School
 
Dear Ryan,

While we appreciate your application (damn you for wasting our precious 3 minutes 23 seconds, although the application fee was nice) we are afraid that we cannot offer you a seat in our medical class (there is no way in hell we'd ever let a schmuck like you in). This is by no means a reflection on your caliber as a medical student (*****) but instead a testament to the rigorous competition for entrance into our institution (and we would never defile it with your presence). We wish you success (even though we know you'll fail) with your admissions process and hope you acheive your goals (of becoming an insurance salesman).

Sincerely (F*** Off),

The Admissions Staff (Janitor Bob)
 
Dear Leiface,
It's not you, it's us.

Thanks for applying, attached is the refund check as we know that apply to our school was a great inconvenience to you.
 
Sunflower189 said:
***GREAT SEAL OF FAMOUS U SOM***

Dear 189, Sunflower:

Congratulations! You have been admitted to the Famous University School of Medicine's special MSTP program for underrepresented personalities.

As you know, Famous University SOM prides itself on the highest standards of notoriety. Whether in the high-flying grants that pay for our conferences in Hawaii, or in our surgeons' spectacular OR tantrums, we are excellence incarnate. While you met or exceeded our academic standards, you showed inadequate preparation in egoism. In fact, you admitted to your interviewer that not only are you a humanist, you also enjoy tutoring for its own sake. While we clearly cannot overlook such a glaring personality defect, we hate to lose otherwise excellent students.

The special MSTP at Famous SOM was designed just for students like you. Under the supervision of one of our high-caliber Famous SOM doctors, you will perform real ground-breaking research. The more ground-breaking, the better - if our celebrity researchers can get a publication out of it, you might even be mentioned in the acknowledgements. Most students can expect to complete the program at age 55, when we allow them to stagger out of postdoctoral limbo.

Unfortunately, we were not able to admit you to the standard MD/PhD program. We had a surplus of qualified gunners this year, and simply did not have room in the class for those with limited star potential. Please note that this decision is not a reflection of your ability to become a doctor, but of your ability to make us look good.

Or maybe it is. Good luck in your future career as our lab slave, because nobody else will want you. Ungrateful b*tch. Withdraw the rest of your applications right now, and we might forgive you.

Sincerely,
Ima Grant-Ho
Dean of Admissions and Tropical Conference Coordinator, Famous SOM
Click to expand...


:laugh: 👍
 
ajt2003 said:
Dear ajt2003,

I'm not quite sure how to put this, but here goes:

I'm just not that into you.


Sincerely,

Bumblebamble Medical School
Click to expand...

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: 👍

I guess that line works for men and med school
 
Dear Batchild39,

I regret to inform you that we cannot offer you a seat in our entering class. After careful review of your application, we have come to the conclusion that the photograph you sent us is not consistent with the photograph on your MCAT ticket. While we realize that fashions change, if you cannot commit to one hairstyle for two years, we doubt that you can commit to medicine for the rest of your life. Please realize that our decision in no way is a reflection of your abilities. We simply had too many qualified applicants to take a chance on a potential flake. Thank you so much for your interest in our school as well as your 100 bucks.

Sincerely,

Margeurite "I'm not even an MD" Watson, B.A.
 
That was classic.

Hey, if we can't get into medical school, we could always fall back on creative writing. I'm impressed, people!
 
Dear Mr. Wrong,

So you wanna be a doctor. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thank you for the application fees, the finely exaggerated "application" -- that we here at the University of Ossilama Lickme School of Medicine use as a sanitary napkin-- and of course, the laughs at your expense. We really enjoyed the letters of recommendation from Figment 1 and 2, (as we recently ran out of toilet paper) and used the remaining letters to scoop up mice droppings.

We really appreciated your "determination" -- boy, where will we ever find a "determined" medical student? My oh my, you're sooooooo unique. But seriously, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The good news is that construction jobs pay in cash. A lifetime of lifting cement blocks isn't as long as it sounds. Admittedly, cement is much harder to liposuction than fatty ass, but hang in there little buddy. Remember, you?re determined (chuckle).

I don't want to forget to mock your very average MCAT scores. Does that score reflect only the first two thirds of the exam (or is that cumulative)?
Academia isn?t for everybody. Would you like to super-size that sir?

Thanks again for the money. What's that you say? You volunteered at a hospital? We think unusually altruistic people like you need to stay vigilant and not give up. Why not just mail in next years application fees 1 year early (so you can enjoy a competitive advantage). We promise -- wink wink-- to thoroughly review your application (if you promise to keep that gravy train a flowin').

Learn to settle (and don't forget to tell your friends about us!).

DIE YOU SINNER!

Lew Zer Hitler
Associate Director of Admissions
 
A contribution from a friend... 🙂

To Whom it may concern (mainly you),

We have taken great pains to reach a conclusion about your application and interview. It is with some regret we must inform you that although you possess speaking skills, the ability to use words in a cognitive way seemed to have escaped your ability. We did however feel the time you spent with us was useful. Many have expressed how our stomach muscles appeared to have toned after meeting you. Mostly from the continuous laughter and uncontrollable movements after you left. This is not to say you did anything wrong during the interview, but really, those shoes with that outfit! What clown school did you say you were from? And that hair, Oh my!! Krusty the Clown school of Beauty strikes again! I know this must seem a bit usual to get a letter like this, but we felt you needed to hear this from a group of people that are far better than you. However, since you did try and fail, miserably, we thought of alternatives that appear to be within your demonstrated skills. There is an opening for a Domestic Podiatrist Binding Specialist that we feel would be just fitting for a person like yourself. Oh, the working title is, Shoelace Weaver. See, we've picked a career where you won?t offend anyone by talking to them, you can were you clown outfit, your lack of skills won?t harm anyone and besides, everyone needs their shoes tied. This really is for the best. We would like to come by three time a week, for twenty minutes though. The aerobic workout is the best part of meeting you.



Thanks, HONK!! HONK!!!

See you soon.
 
Dear Evajaclynn,

We regret to inform you that we will not be able to extend you an invitation this year to join the 2005 entering class at THEBESTTHINGEVER medical school. However, we know how much you want to contribute to the medical field and how much THEBESTTHINGEVER means to you. Thus, we are pleased to inform you that there is a special way that you can be a part of our medical education program. Let me be blunt about this one. We are running short on cadaevers this year and would like to give you this amazing opportunity to donate your body to science. Let me remind you that this would be an astounding EC to add to your CV. You really should not pass this one up since we have taken care to ensure that you will not be hearing from any other medical schools anyways. We hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
THEBESTTHINGEVER medical school DEAN of ADMISSIONS
 
Dear Khenon,

We're contacting you because we believe there's been an aggregious mistake with your application. It appears that you have applied to our school . . . Have you seen your MCAT score? We realize that you would have never embarrassed yourself with this application on purpose, so being the charitable people that we are, we wanted to inform you of this discrepancy. Having informed you of this problem, we now would like to extend you a secondary and require $100 immediately. You need not send any more information to us. Thank you.

Sincerely,

You'reasucker School of Medicine
 
Dear Ms Cuddly

We regret to inform you that we cannot accept your application, or you for that matter, into this institution. In fact, even if your family donated two libraries, a few lecture halls, a museum, a small planet, and a goat, we would not be able to accept you. But we do need those donations if you feel like it, as well as a check for about 500 dollars for the braincells we lost reading your application. Please don't take this too hard, we just think you are the worst candidate we've seen so far. Use the enclosed stick to beat yourself for your GPA. May we suggest medical schools in...say...Dubai? Or Qatar perhaps?

Sincerely,
Everywhere
 
Dear morganlefay,

We regret to inform you that we can no longer consider you for a position in the 2005 entering class, due to gaping holes in your application, such as:
Your MCAT score: are you kidding us? Was this score incomplete? Which section did you not finish?
Your GPA: HA! Apparently you think that getting a few C's is acceptable. We think not.
Your volunteer experiences: You are a selfish pig! Your lack of proper, medically related volunteer experience shows us you are unable to give yourself over as a slave to the profession, something you must do if you wish to attend medical school. Furthermore, it doesn't matter that you spent enormous amounts of time doing research, unless you've got the cure for cancer, Ebola, and AIDS, we don't wanna hear it.
Your ECs: We don't care if you were valedictorian, on Dean's List, or committed so much of your time to an organization that you lived in the club office, what this school wants to see is you complete the Ironman, be the founding member of your student government, or be elected to a position in your county office. And you thought you were above average? HA! Consider looking in the gutter, as that's where we're currently holding your application.
We're sorry you suck at life, and wish you the best working at your local sewage plant.

Hugs and kisses,
University of WE ROCK;YOU SUCK School of Medicine
 
Dear Cat's Meow,

You suck, and you know it. Why did you even apply to our school? Not only are you $100 dollars poorer, you now have the title of "reject."

You loser.

Good luck with your future aspirations!

God bless,

X School of Medicine
"Shattering Dreams for the Past 100 Years"
 
Dear Cammy,

NO.

Sincerely,

U of X ADCOM
 
cammy1313 said:
Dear Cammy,

NO.

Sincerely,

U of X ADCOM
Click to expand...

:laugh: :laugh:

Or better yet:

Dear Khenon,

WTF??

Sincerely,

People who are better than you
 
Dear Pembleton,

Thanks for $100 application fee. I pocketed it and bought my daughter a DVD player for Christmas.

Signed,

Dean

P.S. You've been rejected. Come again next year.
 
Amazing how you only need the first 1/2 of the sentence to know what the rest is going to say... Ah... rejection.

Dear SlickB12,
After careful consideration of your application, we have reached the conclusion that chicken tastes better when it's not fried. While we are certain that alpacas canNOT throw apples, we do realize that our combs glisten like raining light. Please, do not fear the coming of those monkeys from the wizard of OZ; indeed, continue to exhude a foolish fearfulness! Again, we want to curl into the fetal position and dunk our knees into chocolate.

Medical School X
 
Dear ms2209,

We are pleased to inform you that we are the first school to send you a letter of rejection. It is an honor to be able to tell you that your application was not good enough for our 101 coveted spots in the Class of 2009. We thank you for your application, particularly the application fee, and for giving us the opportunity to be your first, and most memorable, rejection. We hope you keep us in your thoughts for many years to come.

Sincerely giving you the boot,

Cornell Med

😀
 
JlazyMD said:
Adcadet, your post reminded me so much of a very funny old Car Talk I listened to, I had to dig up a copy off their site. It is a recruitment letter from MIT and the guy's reply to it. Here it is:

Gentlemen:

Given your recent reading of the college application essay and your ties to that other (lesser) institution in Cambridge, I thought you might enjoy this.

Yours sincerely,
Stan McGee.

MIT certainly has a reputation to be proud of, but its admissions department went a little over-board, I think. The first letter is an honest-to-goodness mailing from MIT, the second is one prospective student's reply:



April 18, 1994

Mr. John T. Mongan
123 Main Street
Smalltown, California 94123-4567

Dear John:

You've got the grades. You've certainly got the PSAT scores. And now you've got a letter from MIT. Maybe you're surprised. Most students would be.

But you're not most students. And that's exactly why I urge you to consider carefully one of the most selective universities in America.

The level of potential reflected in your performance is a powerful indicator that you might well be an excellent candidate for MIT. It certainly got my attention!

Engineering's not for you? No problem. It may surprise you to learn we offer more than 40 major fields of study, from architecture to brain and cognitive sciences, from economics (perhaps the best program in the country) to writing.

What? Of course, you don't want to be bored. Who does? Life here *is* tough *and* demanding, but it's also *fun*. MIT students are imaginative and creative?inside and outside the classroom.

You're interested in athletics? Great! MIT has more varsity teams?39?than almost any other university, and a tremendous intramural program so everybody can participate.

You think we're too expensive? Don't be too sure. We've got surprises for you there, too.

Why not send the enclosed Information Request to find out more about this unique institution? Why not do it right now?

Sincerely,
Michael C. Benhke
Director of Admissions

P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure, "Insight," just check the appropriate box on the form.



May 5, 1994

Michael C. Behnke
MIT Director of Admissions
Office of Admissions, Room 3-108
Cambridge MA 02139-4307

Dear Michael:

You've got the reputation. You've certainly got the pomposity. And now you've got a letter from John Mongan. Maybe you're surprised. Most universities would be.

But you're not most universities. And that's exactly why I urge you to carefully consider one of the most selective students in America, so selective that he will choose only *one* of the thousands of accredited universities in the country.

The level of pomposity and lack of tact reflected in your letter is a powerful indicator that your august institution might well be a possibility for John Mongan's future education. It certainly got my attention!

Don't want Bio-Chem students? No problem. It may surprise you to learn that my interests cover over 400 fields of study, from semantics to limnology, from object-oriented programming (perhaps one of the youngest professionals in the country) to classical piano.

What? Of course you don't want egotistical jerks. Who does? I *am* self-indulgent *and* over confident, but I'm also amusing. John Mongan is funny and amusing?whether you're laughing with him or at him.

You're interested in athletes? Great! John Mongan has played more sports?47?than almost any other student, including oddball favorites such as Orienteering.

You think I can pay for your school? Don't be too sure. I've got surprises for you there, too.

Why not send a guaranteed admission and full scholarship to increase your chance of being selected by John Mongan? Why not do it right now?

Sincerely,
John Mongan

P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure, "John Mongan: What a Guy!" just ask.
Click to expand...


Was John accepted?
 
Dear Perrin


no


-Prestigious Southern Med School
 
slickb12 said:
Amazing how you only need the first 1/2 of the sentence to know what the rest is going to say... Ah... rejection.

Dear SlickB12,
After careful consideration of your application, we have reached the conclusion that chicken tastes better when it's not fried. While we are certain that alpacas canNOT throw apples, we do realize that our combs glisten like raining light. Please, do not fear the coming of those monkeys from the wizard of OZ; indeed, continue to exhude a foolish fearfulness! Again, we want to curl into the fetal position and dunk our knees into chocolate.

Medical School X
Click to expand...

so brilliant! you're a randomness magician. ...maybe you should drop out and write for the family guy.
 
Bumping in the hopes that my application angst may provide some humor/insight for future applicants and re-applicants. *Note.. I do not speak like this in real life. 😳 *

My Medical School Correspondence

Dear _______________ Admissions Committee,



I hope that you do not find this rather unexpected letter of mine too bold or daring in either its tone or its very presence on your desk, but there are some rather weighty matters concerning our relationship which I feel need to be discussed.
Filled with high hopes for our mutual prospects, I eagerly sent you my secondary application earlier this month accompanied by a check for $80.00. I pondered your inane questions and wracked my brain attempting to answer them thoughtfully. I poured four years of hard work into that application. I destroyed any chance I ever had at a social life in college by studying on Friday nights. Not only was I __th in my class, I had the best darn grades anyone had ever seen in my major. I’m not going to kid you, I darn well near walked on water throughout my college years. No one worked harder or kissed more butt than I did – not my friends, not my parents, not my professors. I tutored the jocks who just did not get it, did jobs no one else wanted, and volunteered at places where old men would lick my ears. I had the energy and enthusiasm of ten gunners plus two. There was virtually nothing I would not do to get inside the pearly white gates of __________ Medical School, so I suppose you can imagine my surprise when I checked the mail today.
What b*lls do you have rejecting me the day after you cashed my check for $80.00? What the h*ll were you thinking trying to persuade me that you looked at the “whole package”? Don’t give me that bull ****. You gave the queef sitting next to me the d*mn keys to the kingdom and he isn’t half the applicant I am. F**k that and f**k you. You’ve taken me for a sucker this whole d*mn process stringing me along as if you cared, only to kick me to the curb once you got what you wanted. And don’t you dare start sending me that post-bacc or nursing school **** in the mail because I will f**k the mailman up and once I get out of prison for harassing federal employees, I’ll start coming after your a**es. F**k you ____________ Medical School. You’ll see what damage a rejected gunner can do.


Thank You,

Severus S. Snape
 
the process could be much more efficient

accepted: "Accepted."
rejected: "Rejected."
waitlisted: "Waitlisted."

and that's it. no other sentences, nothing else
 
Dear baby,

Welcome to Rejectsville.

Population: You.

Dean Wiggles
FancySchmancy School of Medicine

P.S. I have herpes, so you might want to get yourself checked out.
 
had to bumpity bump it.
 
Dear Mr. Docwana B:

I'm pleased to inform you that we have reviewed your application for the 2005 school year, and we think you have great potential. If you could just follow the below link, and fill out our post-secondary application form, we would appreciate it - its just a formality.

<Please scroll down>











<Please scroll down>








<Please scroll down>




Here is our secondary link:


http://www.aamc.org/2006_Application_Form.htm



You may be asked for a small fee, and don't be surprised if they ask for your recommendation letters and transcripts again. It is JUST A FORMALITY. And do not forget to enclose the $30 fee for our school.




Thank you
Dean Suckemtill They'reDry.
 
I love this thread. It gives me a place to vent... :laugh:

University of Not in A Million Years, School of Medicine
Dr. B. Ite Me
666 Beast Way
Your Personal Hell, CA 00000

Dear Nikibean:

Hi. Guess what? After keeping you in obsessive-compulsive despair for the past 7 months while you've been "on hold," we acknowledge that you have an "outstanding record" (translation: you're the diet-coke of qualified- just one calorie, not qualified enough). We know, we know, you've been checking your email every 15 seconds, we know that you've been slaving away in clinics before you spent $30,000 to undertake a post-bac program, and we'd love for you to send another $40,000 to us, but we already went through 200 other potential donors- I mean, students, and uh, frankly, I just didn't get around to reading your application. Try having a normal f*cking application next time - your narrative evaluations were tedious. Like we'd ever grant admission to a lowly UCSC student, even if she did graduate with spectacular honors like PBK. You didn't spend enough money on your undergraduate education. Please, apply to an Ivy league, get a second degree, travel to a small country, disarm it, rebuild it singlehandedly, start an entire medical system with your own money, and then we might consider you. Oh, having a recommendation from the surgeon general *might* help you in the future, as one from the director of Biodefense from a major research institution didn't.
Oh, and by the way, you suck.
And your mother wears army boots.

Yours truly,

B.Ite Me
 
Bump......this is so funny! :laugh:
 
nikibean said:
I love this thread. It gives me a place to vent... :laugh:

University of Not in A Million Years, School of Medicine
Dr. B. Ite Me
666 Beast Way
Your Personal Hell, CA 00000

Dear Nikibean:

Hi. Guess what? After keeping you in obsessive-compulsive despair for the past 7 months while you've been "on hold," we acknowledge that you have an "outstanding record" (translation: you're the diet-coke of qualified- just one calorie, not qualified enough). We know, we know, you've been checking your email every 15 seconds, we know that you've been slaving away in clinics before you spent $30,000 to undertake a post-bac program, and we'd love for you to send another $40,000 to us, but we already went through 200 other potential donors- I mean, students, and uh, frankly, I just didn't get around to reading your application. Try having a normal f*cking application next time - your narrative evaluations were tedious. Like we'd ever grant admission to a lowly UCSC student, even if she did graduate with spectacular honors like PBK. You didn't spend enough money on your undergraduate education. Please, apply to an Ivy league, get a second degree, travel to a small country, disarm it, rebuild it singlehandedly, start an entire medical system with your own money, and then we might consider you. Oh, having a recommendation from the surgeon general *might* help you in the future, as one from the director of Biodefense from a major research institution didn't.
Oh, and by the way, you suck.
And your mother wears army boots.

Yours truly,

B.Ite Me
Click to expand...


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

strong work, strong work
 
I really recieved these letters on three successive days from RF. And the postmark on my rejection was after the one on my invitation to blow $35k for a useless masters. And the quote in the letter from the Podiatry school is actually from their letter.

I found them to be a little pompus for a school that is on probation, and is very proud of only having the 2nd highest med school tuition in Chicago for the first time in over a decade.


Monday

Rosalind Franklin University
Office of Admissions
3333 Green Bay Road
North Chicago, IL 60064

Dear Badjer,

We regret to inform you that you do not measure up to our inflated self image. The only reason that you even got this far in the admissions process was because we are still on probation, and we really need the money from your application to make improvements to our program.

You should not feel that this is any way an indication of your suitability for a career in medicine. We do have a post-bac program to support after all, and the $35k in tuition from that would really help us out too.

Keep the money coming!

Dean XXXXXXXXXX

My response,

Dear RFUMS,

Thanks for cashing my check and holding me in limbo for months on end. Also, the prompt responses I recieved from your Admissions staff really were quite helpful 3 weeks later.

I hope your accreditation staus improves, I hate to invest so much time and money and not see a return on my investment.

(in)Sincerely,

Badjer

Tuesday,

Rosalind Franklin University
Office of Admissions
3333 Green Bay Road
North Chicago, IL 60064

Dear Badjer,

How about a post-bac program at our University. After you have spent one year here, and $35k on tuition, you get a completely useless Masters degree. In fact the only thing it's good for is printing your application to our Medical School for next year. That way we know to actually look at your file next year before rejecting you.

Apply early because we have rolling admissions, and we wouldn't want to miss the chance to string you along again. (It was so much fun for the Medical School admissions process!)

Admissions Officer
XXXXXXXXXX

My response,

Dear RFUMS,

Wow that was the fastest response ever recieved from your school. No seriously, why is the postmark on the letter rejecting me from the day after the postmark on the letter about your post-bac program???

Either way, go screw yourselves!

Sincerely,

Badjer

*****I am not kidding, the postmarks were actually that way!*******

Wednesday,


Rosalind Franklin University
Dr. Scholl College of Podiatric Medicine
Office of Admissions
3333 Green Bay Road
North Chicago, IL 60064

Dear Badjer,

"Congratulations! Your MCAT scores and GPA make you a competitive candidate for admission to our program."

We know you wanted to be an MD, but what the he11, you know you always had a foot fetish anyway. Not to mention that you get a DPM from our program, which is like an MD if you have dylexia and you get a P thrown in just for fun.

Plus, with our affordable $23k tuition, it's practically a steal.

And we're not even on probation!

Dean XXXXXXXXXX

My response,

Dear RFUDSCPM,

I reseached your statement about my GPA and MCAT scores making me a competitive applicant. Go blow yourself. Seriously.

If 34P MCAT and a 3.6 in Biochem isn't up to the interview granting standards of your medical school, which is on probation, I most definitely am not the type of applicant you want in your School of Podiatric Medicine. Seriously, why would you lower your standards just to let me in.

Oh, wait...your average MCAT is around a 21 and your average GPA is flirting with a 3.1. "Competitive applicant" my a$$!!

Go F-yourselves,
Badjer
 
Just to be clear, I have plenty of respect for podiatrists, just this school pissed me off!
 
Dear Mercy4052:

We are unable to accept you into our medical program because your MCAT scores are 3.1 years old. I know we said we would accept them, but at that time, your MCAT scores were 3.0 years old. Since we took so long to review your application, your MCAT scores are now 3.1 years old and you must retake the MCAT and reapply for further consideration for future classes. Thanks for completing the exhaustive secondary application and sending in your application fee, which I used to tip my private business jet pilot.

Regards,
USA Medical School
 
my designed rejection...... see below























:laugh:
 
The above post reflects the lack of a school to even inform you that you're rejected. You know they finished interviewing decades ago, yet you haven't heard squat since you set them in the check. It is up to you personally to decide you're rejected because the school decided you suck soo much that they won't even dare waste the cost of a stamp in telling you that. What mofos!
 
I thought I would give this thread a bump as the funniest thread ever. If you want some laughs read the posts from the beggining. It certainly helped me through this application cycle.
 
Podunk medical school

Dear nyc25,
At this time all the seats in Podunk medical school are filled. The standing positions have also been filled to capacity. However, the medical school admissions commitee has carefully reviewed your application and we are pleased to inform you that you have been selected for our special 3-yr online correspondence virtual medical medical school program. Your application was spectacular and you were one of the only few to be considered for this special accelerated program. Please send in your $100 deposit to receive your user id and password which will qualify as your virtual seat in our medical school. You should be extremely proud of your self as virtual seats are more competitive than seats and standing positions in medical school. The tuition is just $10,000/yr. As a result of the low costs, the tuition for all 3 years must be paid upfront. This is an offer you can't refuse!!! And if you send your deposit within the next 7 days we will throw in a Podunk cd with a virtual white coat ceremony. Congratulations!!!!

Sincerely,

T. Mack
Dean of Admissions
 
Adcadet said:
November 29, 2002
The Big University Medical Center
Office of Admissions
123 Main Street
City, State, 12345

Dear Office of Admissions,


Thank you for your interest in me as an applicant. I have now completed a thorough review your admissions material. I am sorry to inform you that I am unable to consider your school further for my undergraduate medical education. Please be assured that your institution has been given personal attention. Most of the schools I am considering this year are well-qualified and are likely to provide an excellent education, but with over 100 accredited allopathic medical schools I need to be extremely selective in the process. While I recognize that this decision may be disappointing, I wish to express my appreciation to you for considering me and this decision in no way reflects on your ability to educate physicians. I wish you the best in your educational pursuits.

I want to thank you, Big University, for your interest. I acknowledge and respect your accomplishments in the areas of medical education and research, and realize that my inability to attend your medical school is a loss for me. I extend my best wishes to you as you pursue your goals.
Sincerely,


Adcadet


Ad/lmao
Click to expand...

One of the funniest posts I have ever read.
 
Dear Mr. BeblessedMD,

It comes with great satisfaction to inform you that for the 2005 application cycle we received numerous outstanding applicants. We want to assure you that a great deal of time and consideration went into reviewing your application fee. It is clear that many of the appplicants are qualified, but with so many capable checks and so few hours in the banking day we were inevitably delayed in the processing of your application and regret to inform you there was nor efficient desire or time to actually review your secondary. Both the ADCOM and this years incoming class want to thank you and your money's interest in our financial well being.

Sincerely,

Mo Money, M.D.
Dean
 
Here is a great advice for a letter to send to the med school I received from a friend. Hope it will help you too.

"Dear (Name of dean of admissions),
Thank you for your letter of March 6. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an a spot in the entering class of 2005.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite the University of Whatever's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of an MS1 in your school this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best luck of rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
(Your name)"
 
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