Dinner fiasco?

[DOk1ng]

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Hii

i went for Meet and greet dinner hosted by intern and 3rd year residents.
As I'm not much of a talker, i was listening audience for the most part.
Everybody including other 2 candidates were talking as if they knew each other for a long time with no pause moment among them. They were talking about sports for which i have absolutely no interest eventhough i'm a guy.

i'm afraid not able to talk much or hold convo on meeting people for the first time can kill my chances at dinner nightbefore real interview.

 

[RaraBovis]

Hii

i went for Meet and greet dinner hosted by intern and 3rd year residents.
As I'm not much of a talker, i was listening audience for the most part.
Everybody including other 2 candidates were talking as if they knew each other for a long time with no pause moment among them. They were talking about sports for which i have absolutely no interest eventhough i'm a guy.

i'm afraid not able to talk much or hold convo on meeting people for the first time can kill my chances at dinner nightbefore real interview.

There were just two other candidates at the dinner?

Well, I would think it wouldn't matter that much that you weren't able to join those two in the conversation. How your interaction with the hosts went would be more important. Plus, I don't think it was polite of the two candidates to go on "with no pause" if you were part of the same group. I would think if you were calm and composed, even though you weren't talking, you'll be just fine. Ceaseless banter isn't great either, you see.

 

[Knicks]

There were just two other candidates at the dinner?

How many are there, usually?

 

[gutonc]

How many are there, usually?

I went to dinners where there were 3 residents and 20 interviewees and others where there were 3 other interviewees and 20 residents.

 

[mcl]

The social events are hard for introverted or otherwise generally quiet people. But it's important for people in this category to get out of their comfort zone and show good interpersonal and communication skills. My residents tend to give simplistic feedback after the dinners which pretty much boils down to "Hard to talk to" or "Easy to talk to." They also tend to associate "quiet" with disinterest. So I strongly recommend that people who generally consider themselves more reserved practice their conversation skills by roleplaying with friends/classmates. Develop some general first-date type questions that you can always fall back on to start a conversation. I promise it will get easier after you attend a few events.

 

[smq123]

The social events are hard for introverted or otherwise generally quiet people. But it's important for people in this category to get out of their comfort zone and show good interpersonal and communication skills. My residents tend to give simplistic feedback after the dinners which pretty much boils down to "Hard to talk to" or "Easy to talk to." They also tend to associate "quiet" with disinterest. So I strongly recommend that people who generally consider themselves more reserved practice their conversation skills by roleplaying with friends/classmates. Develop some general first-date type questions that you can always fall back on to start a conversation. I promise it will get easier after you attend a few events.

Totally agree.

I am not good in "cocktail party" type situations, and do very poorly with small talk. I feel like this was a huge problem for me when I was interviewing, and hurt me.

The problem is, if you're very quiet at interview dinners, then you're not memorable. And if you're not memorable, people tend not to rank you very highly.

 

[RaraBovis]

Totally agree.

I am not good in "cocktail party" type situations, and do very poorly with small talk. I feel like this was a huge problem for me when I was interviewing, and hurt me.

The problem is, if you're very quiet at interview dinners, then you're not memorable. And if you're not memorable, people tend not to rank you very highly.

Do you guys think being relatively quiet or talkative at such dinners bears a relation to how you will perform as a resident?

 

[gutonc]

Do you guys think being relatively quiet or talkative at such dinners bear a relation to how you will perform as a resident?

No, but that's not really the point. Perception is everything. In general, correctly or not, we perceive outgoing people as more competent (to a point) than shy, quiet people. Also, I'd rather have interesting people as colleagues than boring people. If you just sit there and don't talk, I will assume (again, correctly or not) that you're a boring person.

 

[SpookyDoc]

Do you guys think being relatively quiet or talkative at such dinners bear a relation to how you will perform as a resident?

Yes. It does.

You're going into a very TALKY field. You're going to have to build rapport with patients and make them feel comfortable. If you make people who have a TON of stuff (career) in common with you immediately uncomfortable and put off, you are likely to not be able to work well with patients.

 

[DOk1ng]

isn't it the responsibility of the host to make sure that everybody is involved ?

half-way through the dinner i was feeling comfortable enough to hold conversation but didn't got the chance to break-in as they were totally into their convo.

I did showed interest by asking program related Qs when possible.

If someone is going to talk abt sport, then totally count me out. I have zero knowledge abt sport because I don't watch any sports.

 

[dsoz]

Yes. It does.

You're going into MEDICINE, probably the second most 'talky' choice after psychiatry. You're going to have to build rapport with patients and make them feel comfortable. If you make people who have a TON of stuff (career) in common with you immediately uncomfortable and put off, you are likely to not be able to work well with patients.

You are forgetting about EDUCATION... Even psychiatrists need to shut up and listen to their patients every now and then (I would guess. Never been to a shrink.) Teachers, now that is a profession for someone that just wants to hear their own voice. I should know...

(from a science teacher switching into medicine)

dsoz

 

[Doctor Bagel]

You are forgetting about EDUCATION... Even psychiatrists need to shut up and listen to their patients every now and then (I would guess. Never been to a shrink.) Teachers, now that is a profession for someone that just wants to hear their own voice. I should know...

(from a science teacher switching into medicine)

dsoz

True -- psychiatry is a lot more about listening than talking, and there's definitely a place for introverted types in psychiatry (in fact, I think most of us are). Small talk at a dinner party and building rapport with patients in one on one interactions are different things. And dominating a conversation with a patient is an all around bad idea.

As for this event, I agree that the hosts were a little rude in not trying to include other people. If you're in a buyer's market, that's something to think about. But if you're not, they can do what they want, and it's really your job to appeal to them, which would mean finding a way to be more assertive yourself. I'm hoping you're in a buyer's market, and then you can just say screw that program. I don't work with a bunch of people who talk non-stop about sports.

 

[jace's mom]

I did showed interest by asking program related Qs when possible.

If someone is going to talk abt sport, then totally count me out. I have zero knowledge abt sport because I don't watch any sports.

Asking questions about the program probably helped in that it got your voice out there. For the evening before, maybe come up with a few things to talk about besides just the program? Because it's more of a "social" setting, so it doesn't hurt to be able to discuss something besides work. Maybe research the cities you visit and look for things that interest you...arts/entertainment, food/restaurants, music, what have you. Then try to fit it in somewhere: "In addition to sports, what else is fun to do in the city? I was looking online at this really interesting gallery, etc...." You may have to throw it out there when they've stopped to chew and/or breathe, but you should be able to find some time to interject.

I know it sounds silly, but it helps to plan ahead so you're prepared just in case.

The other thing is if they keep coming back to a topic you don't know much about, contribute to the conversation by asking questions. Don't be afraid to say, "I don't really know much about the playoff system in baseball. How does it work?...So is the team here good?...What would make them better?" And so on and so on, and you're discussing sports even though you know nothing about them and don't really care. At least that way you're speaking, and you'll learn a little bit about a new topic that might be helpful for next time.

Yes, it would have been nice of them to try and include everyone, but you can demonstrate social skills/etiquette by knowing what to do even when the other party doesn't act according to plan.

Hope this is helpful, and best of luck to you this interview season!

 

[Law2Doc]

isn't it the responsibility of the host to make sure that everybody is involved ?

half-way through the dinner i was feeling comfortable enough to hold conversation but didn't got the chance to break-in as they were totally into their convo...

I think you need to look at it less as a guest -host scenario, and more like a marketing network opportunity. You and the other applicants are all there to pitch yourself as someone likable to your future teammates. The residents are there to decide if you seem like someone cool to work with and someone who will be a positive addition to the team. Most wont think of themselves as hosts and take on that role, but are more there to answer your questions and snag a free meal. They will dutifully report on the folks they like or dislike, and generally abstain from those they didn't really get a chance to talk to. If you don't get out of your comfort zone and come across as sociable, the residents will just shrug their shoulders and say "I didn't really talk to that guy" when the PD solicits input. That generally is a negative because you had better believe that if there are a lot of folks the residents raved about, you probably will be behind most of those on the ultimate rank list if the PD values residents' opinions. You will have missed an opportunity to sell yourself as likable. Of course if you aren't likable, this may be a viable strategy...

 

[RaraBovis]

Yes. It does.

You're going into a very TALKY field. You're going to have to build rapport with patients and make them feel comfortable. If you make people who have a TON of stuff (career) in common with you immediately uncomfortable and put off, you are likely to not be able to work well with patients.

I don't see how being 'relatively quiet' translates to making people 'immediately uncomfortable and put off'.

Nevermind though.

Also, I don't think the OP's inability to join the conversation is a reflection at all of how his/her rapport with patients is.

 

[sohsie]

Yes. It does.

You're going into a very TALKY field. You're going to have to build rapport with patients and make them feel comfortable. If you make people who have a TON of stuff (career) in common with you immediately uncomfortable and put off, you are likely to not be able to work well with patients.

No it emphatically does not. Making small talk / dinner conversation requires a different skill set than interacting with patients and other physicians. Many people are very comfortable and skilled in one-on-one interactions even though they tend to be quiet and introverted in social situations. Talking/working with other physicians and members of the health care team also is a completely different dynamic than small talk. Many people are extroverts when it comes to business/professional talk but shy away from social conversation.

However, it is true that many physicians, like other people, like to seize on one characteristic about a person and use it as a jumping off to point to make assumptions about the person as a whole. Sometimes it is simply misguided, but many times the person who makes these assumptions uses them to disguise the fact that they have no clue how to really evaluate someone. Unfortunately, you will not be able to convince that person of the error of their ways and you just have to be on guard against it.

It is similar to the extremely dumb practice that some med school interviewers have of watching the hands of someone during the first few minutes of an interview and immediately assuming based on whether their hands shake or not whether they have the skill set to be a surgeon. I sat in an interview once for Albert Einstein College of Medicine where the interviewer literally had her head down staring at my hands for the first few minutes of the interview. It was so blatant that it actually was quite disturbing. It also told me that the interviewer had no idea what they were doing and that I probably was wasting my time being there.

 

[RaraBovis]

No it emphatically does not. Making small talk / dinner conversation requires a different skill set than interacting with patients and other physicians. Many people are very comfortable and skilled in one-on-one interactions even though they tend to be quiet and introverted in social situations. Talking/working with other physicians and members of the health care team also is a completely different dynamic than small talk. Many people are extroverts when it comes to business/professional talk but shy away from social conversation.

However, it is true that many physicians, like other people, like to seize on one characteristic about a person and use it as a jumping off to point to make assumptions about the person as a whole. Sometimes it is simply misguided, but many times the person who makes these assumptions uses them to disguise the fact that they have no clue how to really evaluate someone. Unfortunately, you will not be able to convince that person of the error of their ways and you just have to be on guard against it.

It is similar to the extremely dumb practice that some med school interviewers have of watching the hands of someone during the first few minutes of an interview and immediately assuming based on whether their hands shake or not whether they have the skill set to be a surgeon. I sat in an interview once for Albert Einstein College of Medicine where the interviewer literally had her head down staring at my hands for the first few minutes of the interview. It was so blatant that it actually was quite disturbing. It also told me that the interviewer had no idea what they were doing and that I probably was wasting my time being there.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[peppy]

I wouldn't call it a fiasco, but I definitely do think that people in this culture tend to have more positive first impressions of people who are extroverts. Making an effort to talk at these things is unfortunately part of the game.

I definitely do agree with those who say being an introvert doesn't make you a bad doctor. Most patients love it when you want to listen to them talk instead of talking at them. But, yeah, in "job interview" kind of situations, people will judge you if you're not a talker. I do think that it's good if you can practice coming up with lots of questions to ask at these dinners to get people talking to you. If you can't relate to the topic of the conversation, do what you can to steer it towards something you can talk about.

 

[gutonc]

Also, I don't think the OP's inability to join the conversation is a reflection at all of how his/her rapport with patients is.

Neither do I, but that's not what I said.

The dinners are strictly to get to know the residents (and vice versa) in a social situation, to determine whether you could fathom being stuck with these people for the next 1-5 years (and vice versa). For better or worse, the people who are gregarious are going to make a better overall impression than the people who can't/won't hold a conversation. The wallflower residents in that program aren't going to be at the dinner anyway. So when the PD asks at morning report the next day, "so what did you think of Applicant X and Applicant Y?" the residents will invariably respond that X, who was super chatty seemed cool while Y, who sat quietly and only engaged when directly questioned seemed kind of weird.

You can fight it if you want, but you will lose.

 

[RaraBovis]

Neither do I, but that's not what I said.

You can fight it if you want, but you will lose.

I wasn't addressing what you said.

I'm not denying that people could view the quiet person unfavourably either.

My question was entirely different, and I don't really know why I asked it because I know the answer.

 

[sunset823]

I also think it depends on where you interview. If you are interviewing at, say, certain Big Ten institutions (Michigan, Wisconsin, the artist formerly known as Ohio State (j/k)), sports is invariably going to come up as most of the people are from those sports-loving states. If you are an IMG and have never seen a football game (college or NFL) in your life, obviously you can't contribute much to the convo, but I like another person's strategy of asking questions and just being engaged.

This probably wouldn't be as much of an issue at, say, Mass Gen or Columbia (though the Yankees or Red Sox or Patriots may come up, NYC and Boston also love their sports), but you should know a little bit about the Met or the Boston Pops or something. Again, if you've never been to an art gallery or symphony (and are only into sports), you could insert yourself into the conversation by asking someone what their favorite pieces played or artists are, that kind of thing. I personally think gearing your convo to only topics you know may come off kinda douchey, but what do I know, I'm only an M3.

Anyway, I am sort of an introvert, but I pride myself on knowing a little bit about a lot (sports, entertainment, art, etc.), so I am pretty flexible and conversational. It's a pretty useful trait to have, I've found, especially when neither your numbers nor your looks are going to turn many heads, lol.

 

[turkeyjerky]

I also think it depends on where you interview. If you are interviewing at, say, certain Big Ten institutions (Michigan, Wisconsin, the artist formerly known as Ohio State (j/k)), sports is invariably going to come up as most of the people are from those sports-loving states. If you are an IMG and have never seen a football game (college or NFL) in your life, obviously you can't contribute much to the convo, but I like another person's strategy of asking questions and just being engaged.

This probably wouldn't be as much of an issue at, say, Mass Gen or Columbia (though the Yankees or Red Sox or Patriots may come up, NYC and Boston also love their sports), but you should know a little bit about the Met or the Boston Pops or something. Again, if you've never been to an art gallery or symphony (and are only into sports), you could insert yourself into the conversation by asking someone what their favorite pieces played or artists are, that kind of thing. I personally think gearing your convo to only topics you know may come off kinda douchey, but what do I know, I'm only an M3.

Anyway, I am sort of an introvert, but I pride myself on knowing a little bit about a lot (sports, entertainment, art, etc.), so I am pretty flexible and conversational. It's a pretty useful trait to have, I've found, especially when neither your numbers nor your looks are going to turn many heads, lol.

Granted I haven't gone on any interviews yet, but this whole post seems kinda ******ed to me. Sorry.

 

[meowdoc]

I think it's funny the OP used the word 'fiasco' to describe that dinner situation...

I doubt the content of anyone's conversation matters at all during these dinners. (As long as you're not being innapropriate). Who gives a **** if you can't talk about sports or art? As long as youre a chill person and have a good time, I don't see what else would matter...

If I was a resident at a dinner, I wouldn't care if someone seemed a little socially awkward or quiet or didn't want to join in with most of the conversation. As long as the person was capable of smiling and basic human courtesies, then I would judge them as socially adequate. If they were rude to anyone at all or seemed abrasive, then I would think less of them.

 

[Law2Doc]

...
If I was a resident at a dinner, I wouldn't care if someone seemed a little socially awkward or quiet or didn't want to join in with most of the conversation...

it's not a question of "I wouldn't care". It's an issue of when a PD or chief resident asked who you liked/disliked, would you weigh in in favor of or against them, or abstain because you didn't really get a chance to talk to them. In most cases the quiet ones get a lot of abstentions from the residents. "I really didn't get to talk to him/her" is a common response in these debriefings. And when you are dealing with ranking people, an abstention is bad because it puts you lower on the list than the folks who got social kudos.

 

[meowdoc]

it's not a question of "I wouldn't care". It's an issue of when a PD or chief resident asked who you liked/disliked, would you weigh in in favor of or against them, or abstain because you didn't really get a chance to talk to them. In most cases the quiet ones get a lot of abstentions from the residents. "I really didn't get to talk to him/her" is a common response in these debriefings. And when you are dealing with ranking people, an abstention is bad because it puts you lower on the list than the folks who got social kudos.

That's helpful to know.

 

[NOsquid]

I think some of you are making this more complicated than it needs to be, this is just a game you have to play.

Most of your application (grades? board scores? please...) speaks very little to the kind of physician you will end up being, but you'll be judged based on all kinds of senseless criteria during the interview process, including being friendly and conversational at the dinner.

How many times have you memorized useless crap (eg the Krebs cycle) in your life? Just learn some basics about local sports and other pop culture, and make sure to smile. Christ, this isn't that difficult.

I *hate* American football with an irrational passion, but you better believe I was comfortable talking about it during my midwest interviews.

 

[meowdoc]

I don't plan on matching anywhere that I'm discounted for not knowing about football. That's my stance.

 

[Law2Doc]

I don't plan on matching anywhere that I'm discounted for not knowing about football. That's my stance.

Quite a few regions love their sports.

 

[meowdoc]

Quite a few regions love their sports.

Fair enough. I can enjoy watching a sports game here and there but I rarely if ever converse over it. I'm certain that not talking about sports won't stop me from matching. I wouldn't want to end up with a bunch of people who judge my competence as a future physician and my worth as a fellow human being based on my willingness or ability to discuss sports.

 

[belle54321]

Perhaps I should hide my Yankees pride when I am in Boston.

 

[Law2Doc]

Perhaps I should hide my Yankees pride when I am in Boston.

I would hide it everywhere outside of NYC.

 

[Valadi]

I did showed interest by asking program related Qs when possible.

If someone is going to talk abt sport, then totally count me out. I have zero knowledge abt sport because I don't watch any sports.

These things are like first dates and should be treated like that. Asking program questions is fine, but it's like asking your date how the weather is or what her stance is on your congressman's election. It's fine, just dry.

Not knowing about a topic is fine. You can still participate. It's like going on a date with an artist or a lawyer. I don't know squat about that, but it's not going to stop me from saying, "Wow, actually I tried my hand at painting once.. when I was 8.. but when my mom refused to hang up my green blobs on the fridge (they were ninja turtles), I decided it wasn't for me and got into XYZ instead then [insert personal anecdote here with followup question]" And start building rapport with the people.

My advice is to go out on as many first dates as you can in the next few weeks to practice building rapport with a stranger. Hell, practice with the coffee guy at starbucks. Ok, somewhat kidding. But it will be worth it to practice these types of interactions with friends or family.

 

[Valadi]

No it emphatically does not. Making small talk / dinner conversation requires a different skill set than interacting with patients and other physicians. Many people are very comfortable and skilled in one-on-one interactions even though they tend to be quiet and introverted in social situations. Talking/working with other physicians and members of the health care team also is a completely different dynamic than small talk. Many people are extroverts when it comes to business/professional talk but shy away from social conversation.

I would disagree here.

I think you can be an extremely competent professional with a limited social skill set if you are comfortable talking in a professional environment, but the highest players are able to build rapport like champions. Professional industries are service industries; we are all in the market of sales. That is, we are selling ourselves. The best docs out there are proficient in all of the above. This is even evidence based; the amount of rapport you build with a patient has been shown to be inversely correlated with your rate of malpractice suits.

 

[DOk1ng]

I would disagree here.

I think you can be an extremely competent professional with a limited social skill set if you are comfortable talking in a professional environment, but the highest players are able to build rapport like champions. Professional industries are service industries; we are all in the market of sales. That is, we are selling ourselves. The best docs out there are proficient in all of the above. This is even evidence based; the amount of rapport you build with a patient has been shown to be inversely correlated with your rate of malpractice suits.

rapport is not built in a day.
its built over time.
I have built good rapport with people over time.

 

[Valadi]

rapport is not built in a day.
its built over time.
I have built good rapport with people over time.

I think that may be a limiting belief. But hey, to each their own.

 

[Buzz Me]

I think you need to look at it less as a guest -host scenario, and more like a marketing network opportunity. You and the other applicants are all there to pitch yourself as someone likable to your future teammates. The residents are there to decide if you seem like someone cool to work with and someone who will be a positive addition to the team.

So true. These people are going to have to spend 1-5 years with you, so they want to make sure you "fit in." You're going to have to mesh with them as a team...which is why your social skills (outside of patient-related conversation) are important.

 

[mcl]

So true. These people are going to have to spend 1-5 years with you, so they want to make sure you "fit in." You're going to have to mesh with them as a team...which is why your social skills (outside of patient-related conversation) are important.

Exactly. Even though these events are loosely termed "social," never forget that it is part of the job interview. Everything you do once you come into contact with someone from the program you are visiting is part of the job interview. It's up to you to find a way to convince the people you are meeting that you are engaged in the process, interested, positive, and someone they would enjoy spending time with. Pay attention to body language. Make eye contact. Smile. Lean forward. Don't cross your arms. Never give a one-word answer to a question. If you can't develop rapport with the resident you are talking to, move around the room until you find someone more receptive to you.

This process is much easier for extroverts than for introverts, which is why I recommend practicing. Social networking is a skill that can be learned if it's not an innate part of your personality and which will benefit you throughout your career.

 

[Valadi]

Exactly. Even though these events are loosely termed "social," never forget that it is part of the job interview. Everything you do once you come into contact with someone from the program you are visiting is part of the job interview. It's up to you to find a way to convince the people you are meeting that you are engaged in the process, interested, positive, and someone they would enjoy spending time with. Pay attention to body language. Make eye contact. Smile. Lean forward. Don't cross your arms. Never give a one-word answer to a question. If you can't develop rapport with the resident you are talking to, move around the room until you find someone more receptive to you.

This process is much easier for extroverts than for introverts, which is why I recommend practicing. Social networking is a skill that can be learned if it's not an innate part of your personality and which will benefit you throughout your career.

👍

Glad to see this is true from someone on the other side of the process.

 

[Old Grunt]

Along the lines of "just be yourself":

I would think that if you are naturally introverted, it's better to be your quiet self as opposed to force yourself into possibly awkward conversation. After 20+ years of being yourself, you aren't going to turn yourself into a social animal for interview season. I'd just be myself and answer questions that were asked of me. If dinners were a "deal breaker" or a "deal maker" they would be required as opposed to "highly suggested".

I doubt it was a "disaster".

 

[belle54321]

Along the lines of "just be yourself":

I would think that if you are naturally introverted, it's better to be your quiet self as opposed to force yourself into possibly awkward conversation. After 20+ years of being yourself, you aren't going to turn yourself into a social animal for interview season. I'd just be myself and answer questions that were asked of me. If dinners were a "deal breaker" or a "deal maker" they would be required as opposed to "highly suggested".

I doubt it was a "disaster".

I agree with you that you can't force yourself to be an extrovert if you have been a life-long introvert. But networking is definitely a skill that you can acquire with practice. Just like with interviewing, you will get better with each dinner. Don't give up after one not so great social event.

 

[2012mdc]

Fair enough. I can enjoy watching a sports game here and there but I rarely if ever converse over it. I'm certain that not talking about sports won't stop me from matching. I wouldn't want to end up with a bunch of people who judge my competence as a future physician and my worth as a fellow human being based on my willingness or ability to discuss sports.

They may judge you on your apparent stubbornness though.

Sports are huge in this country and it always helps to at least know a little about them and which sport depends on the region.

It would be strange if you were interviewing in SEC country and could not say at least one thing about college football

 

[Old Grunt]

i agree with you that you can't force yourself to be an extrovert if you have been a life-long introvert. But networking is definitely a skill that you can acquire with practice. Just like with interviewing, you will get better with each dinner. Don't give up after one not so great social event.

g/p.

 

[wannabeOBGYN]

They may judge you on your apparent stubbornness though.

Sports are huge in this country and it always helps to at least know a little about them and which sport depends on the region.

It would be strange if you were interviewing in SEC country and could not say at least one thing about college football

I disagree. You don't need to waste time researching popular sports in the area before every interview dinner. Nobody is going to think you're strange because you aren't a huge sports fan. Plenty of people in this country aren't and they're fine. At the very least you can say something like, "I'm not a big sports fan but my [insert friends/spouse/siblings] loves [insert sport/team/etc.] so I sometimes catch those games." If you just look up local teams to comment if someone brings it up it'll be obvious because you won't be able to back up anything you say. Be yourself, have your own interests, don't worry about it.

 

[2012mdc]

I disagree. You don't need to waste time researching popular sports in the area before every interview dinner. Nobody is going to think you're strange because you aren't a huge sports fan. Plenty of people in this country aren't and they're fine.At the very least you can say something like, "I'm not a big sports fan but my [insert friends/spouse/siblings] loves [insert sport/team/etc.] so I sometimes catch those games." If you just look up local teams to comment if someone brings it up it'll be obvious because you won't be able to back up anything you say. Be yourself, have your own interests, don't worry about it.

That was my point. At least be able to say something. I never said to pretend to be a huge sports fan, just be aware of sports. I didn't say to look up local teams, they won't expect you to know local teams and it would be silly. But I do think if you are interviewing in the South it would be good to be able to at least say something about college football and not respond with 😕

 

[DIMC]

Need some advice.

I attended a pre-interview dinner and I think I messed up. After the interview was over I realized how pro-resident the program was. I've never been exposed to so many residents before or even during the interview day. All the residents very extremely happy and I feel they have heavy input.

It was a large pre-interview dinner (15 candidates with 6 residents) and I was at a table with 1 other candidate and 2 residents. Everything was going well and we all had a lot in common (sports, food, alcohol etc).Towards the end resident A made a joke about resident B and said "he's ******bag with a hot girlfriend" and I ended up laughing at it said "that was a good one", resident A was also laughing and responded back with "Yeah, I know". The other candidate just kept quiet and resident B didn't say anything. They were both roommates and best friends. We moved on with the night and had a good time. Resident B was still talking to me and giving me good advice. I didn't think anything of it. The next day I see resident B and he totally gave me the cold shoulder. He was on rounds while we were on tour. I tried getting his attention and saying Hi to him but he just turned around. I got along with all the residents during the actual interview day and the interview went really well. Now after being done with the season I've realized that it's my number 1 and I feel like I screwed up.

I've thought about reaching out to a friend who is a resident there and getting his advice on what I can do to remedy the situation because I really want to match there but not sure if that'll make me look weird.

Will a PD not rank me or downgrade me if the resident reached out to him and told him he didn't like me?

 

[22031 Alum]

He was on rounds while we were on tour. I tried getting his attention and saying Hi to him but he just turned around.

I really think if it was an issue, he would have started giving you the cold shoulder at the dinner, after the "offensive" comment (which wasn't really). On your tour, you saw him while he was actively participating in patient care. For all you know, his mind may have been on some task he needed to accomplish, like an upcoming procedure or calling a consult. Or the attending he was rounding with had just gotten on his case about not knowing something, and he didn't want to appear distracted. Or he may not have wanted to make the other applicants feel awkward by singling you out for a greeting. It could be any number of things.

Don't reach out and try to "fix" something that doesn't need fixing. Good luck!!

 

[DIMC]

Thanks for your advice.

 

[jennashell]

One of my interview dinner was totally taken away from me and the others by two over talkative girls who decided to crash our dinner after their dinner just because they couldnt attend their designated dinner date. These dinners are designed in a way for residents to evaluate you. We were outnumbered by these chatty girls. I tried my best to speak to the resident I had access too and talked few things when I got a gap. In my imaginary land, I wanted to punch those chatty girls who were totally relaxed since they were done with their interview. Not to forget, they ordered wayy too much food and packed themselves two desserts each for their trip as well.....Needless to say they cut a sorry figure during that dinner.

 

[Law2Doc]

Need some advice.

I attended a pre-interview dinner and I think I messed up. After the interview was over I realized how pro-resident the program was. I've never been exposed to so many residents before or even during the interview day. All the residents very extremely happy and I feel they have heavy input.

It was a large pre-interview dinner (15 candidates with 6 residents) and I was at a table with 1 other candidate and 2 residents. Everything was going well and we all had a lot in common (sports, food, alcohol etc).Towards the end resident A made a joke about resident B and said "he's ******bag with a hot girlfriend" and I ended up laughing at it said "that was a good one", resident A was also laughing and responded back with "Yeah, I know". The other candidate just kept quiet and resident B didn't say anything. They were both roommates and best friends. We moved on with the night and had a good time. Resident B was still talking to me and giving me good advice. I didn't think anything of it. The next day I see resident B and he totally gave me the cold shoulder. He was on rounds while we were on tour. I tried getting his attention and saying Hi to him but he just turned around. I got along with all the residents during the actual interview day and the interview went really well. Now after being done with the season I've realized that it's my number 1 and I feel like I screwed up.

I've thought about reaching out to a friend who is a resident there and getting his advice on what I can do to remedy the situation because I really want to match there but not sure if that'll make me look weird.

Will a PD not rank me or downgrade me if the resident reached out to him and told him he didn't like me?

Don't try to fix it. If it's not a big deal you might accidentally make it one, so best to leave it alone, run for luck.

Yes a resident can pass on "concerns" about an applicant and at some places these can have big impact on your rank.

but it really might not have been a big deal -- this guy probably knows resident A well enough to tolerate some colorful ribbing and it's probably not taken as ill will. If however there's actually ill will and thin skins between co-residents then you really might not want to end up there anyway -- So it's kind of win-win for you.

 

[Doctor4Life1769]

One of my interview dinner was totally taken away from me and the others by two over talkative girls who decided to crash our dinner after their dinner just because they couldnt attend their designated dinner date. These dinners are designed in a way for residents to evaluate you. We were outnumbered by these chatty girls. I tried my best to speak to the resident I had access too and talked few things when I got a gap. In my imaginary land, I wanted to punch those chatty girls who were totally relaxed since they were done with their interview. Not to forget, they ordered wayy too much food and packed themselves two desserts each for their trip as well.....Needless to say they cut a sorry figure during that dinner.

If you're hot, and they weren't, it doesn't really matter (and hell they crashed a dinner and ordered too much food/dessert on the program's dime --- makes y'all come off as even better). Personally, I'm surprised the residents didn't just tell them to get lost....