Diversity Essay Question

[cali96]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

Originally started writing my secondary essay rough drafts with the idea that the diversity essay is a way to show how you are unique/what's cool about you. Based on this, I wrote mine around the same general idea: I'm a health and fitness junkie, been working out since I was 15, extensively trained 9 friends throughout college (teaching proper form, meal planning, how to have a well rounded workout plan, and lifted with whoever I was training at the time for all five of my weekly lifts). From this, I talked about how I would love to continue this throughout medical school. I have heard from friends in medical and dental school how their classmates let themselves go (not trying to sound like an ass) from all the work and stress. So, I'd like to keep my peers in shape by motivating them to come train with me and I would also teach them how to meal prep cheap and quick meals.

However, after my mock interview, my advisors made it seem like the diversity essay did not want something like the above (which I find very cool and shows a huge aspect of my life). I did not run my idea by them, instead they branched off from a discussion we were having and said my diversity essay should talk about my dad coming to America from Iran when he was 19 and also about my two 40+ day trips to Iran years ago and what I saw.

What are your guys opinions on this? Am I mistaken and possibly going to negatively affect myself by writing about the how I would like to be the "trainer" of my medical school class? Or does that show a unique aspect of me?

 

[cali96]

1) health/fitness isnt all the unique as it seems gyms popping up are only second to starbucks in number.
2) you dont seem to discuss much how this diversity has had you mix with different people, situations, or help you with future patients in your practice of medicine. A slight mention helping classmates is a crumb.
3) personal fitness is just personal: its individual, isolating, and almost works to keep you from interacting with others. Anything that can be described as being a junkie, isnt good
4) belief that you can show your classmates the way in keeping in shape smacks of righteousness, smugness and arrogance, qualities that I do want in a physician

This would be a red flag. Leave fitness for N EC hobby. Instead, discuss that very american idea of a melting pot being a child of an immigrant, growing with influences of two cultures, your understanding of what it us like at times to be a perceived minority at times, and your trips to Iran where most american do not understand the culture, how the people are possibly the most educated and western leaning in the region. Most americans wont even know the difference in persian culture from the rest of the region

Thank you for the feedback. I will start putting together a new diversity essay later today using what you and my advisors recommended, not the working out one. I do want to put out that in what I wrote, I was not phrasing it to seem smug and arrogant, but rather that I would be available and happy to help anybody who came to me with questions. But yes, I do see how my quick summary above seems like I mean it in a cocky way. Again, appreciate the insight!

 

[deleted889094]

Diversity in this case = Things that give you unique, helpful experiences and perspectives that will better you as a physician.

Unique, interesting activities are not enough. You have to show you have learned meaningful things and gained valuable skills that you can clearly articulate will translate into specific aspects of medical practice.

I would argue that the interpretation and learning is what makes or breaks it. Experiences you haven't learned from are worthless