DMU................Self-proclaimed Super Geniuses

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To the above posts:

Golden and Portier, you probably shouldn't reproduce either.

Secondly, I thought Catholics didn't like BC.....

Funny quote of the day, "we only allow Medicaid patients to have one erection per week since that is all they pay for."
 
babyruth said:
To the above posts:

Golden and Portier, you probably shouldn't reproduce either.

Secondly, I thought Catholics didn't like BC.....

Funny quote of the day, "we only allow Medicaid patients to have one erection per week since that is all they pay for."
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Don't worry about me reproducing....not even close to an issue.
 
Portier said:
Don't worry about me reproducing....not even close to an issue.
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I can't have kids either. I got stepped on by a cow. At least thats what I heard from a 14 year old mom, when she was talking about her baby's daddy today.
 
I did a genital exam (to include palpation of the perineum) and a DRE on a 65 year old man with a hat that said, "certified grandpa" today.

The presenting problem was that he had a piece of a penicl stuck in his urethra. This was causing him to have pain with urnination, frequency, and discolored urine...also hematuria.

When we asked him why he had a pencil stuck in his urethra he said, "Because I wanted to pound." When asked what that meant he said, "You know...." and made a fist and moved it back and forth in front of his genital area.:meanie: 👍

Evidently he'd done this before, and the pencil hadn't broken. This time he wasn't so lucky.

The external palpation of his perineum revealed a hard substance in the prostatic urethra. The DRE revealed similar findings...

This gives a whole new spin to the statement, "Don't put that pencil in your mouth...you have no clue where it's been!"


😛

I also did a followup on a pregnant 19 year old with a stone who was married to Kevin Federline. He asked if I wanted to buy an 8 ball during the visit.

Kevin also got my sister pregnant. He's good.


In additional news: DES MOINES HAS A POPEYE'S FRIED CHICKEN NOW!

That figures...after I leave they open the BEST fried chicken joint on the planet in the city. I had to have Greg Hahn bring me back some from Council Bluffs the one time he went..and it was even good COLD.

I'm going to go to Des Moines and get Chicken soon...maybe now.....
 
Portier said:
In additional news: DES MOINES HAS A POPEYE'S FRIED CHICKEN NOW!

That figures...after I leave they open the BEST fried chicken joint on the planet in the city. I had to have Greg Hahn bring me back some from Council Bluffs the one time he went..and it was even good COLD.

I'm going to go to Des Moines and get Chicken soon...maybe now.....
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Hey Portier, by the way, DES MOINES finally has a CHICK-FIL-A (in the Jordan Creek Mall), now that's the BEST FRIED CHICKEN BREAST SANDWICH on the planet. And of course they serve sweet tea--good, Southern-style, rot your teeth out sweet tea (the only other restaurant in DSM that does is Cracker Barrel). Mmmm....pressure cooked/deep fried chicken breast in peanut oil on a buttered roll. It should come with a dose of Vytorin.
 
In order to improve your chances in reproduction, i recommend avoiding fried chicken.
 
PainlessChancre said:
Hey Portier, by the way, DES MOINES finally has a CHICK-FIL-A (in the Jordan Creek Mall), now that's the BEST FRIED CHICKEN BREAST SANDWICH on the planet. And of course they serve sweet tea--good, Southern-style, rot your teeth out sweet tea (the only other restaurant in DSM that does is Cracker Barrel). Mmmm....pressure cooked/deep fried chicken breast in peanut oil on a buttered roll. It should come with a dose of Vytorin.
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I'm sorry to disagree with you Mr Syphyllis, but... The best fried chicken sandwich is at Wendy's. It's the SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH. It comes with enough mayo to put you into the next weight class. Chick Fil-A is OK, but bland, and boring. Even the aluminium wrapper is boring.


Astroglide User said:
In order to improve your chances in reproduction, i recommend avoiding fried chicken.
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At first I was wondering if you were referring to aromatic hydrocarbons, or carcinogenic properties of free radicals, then I realized....

He's trying to prevent us from all looking like an adipose cell....
 
If you want to see cute women on sunday afternoons somewhere OTHER than on TV @ NFL games, head to PANERA b/c they flock here. I cannot believe what I'm seeing.

Pretty soon the place will get crowded and someone will want to sit here.

Step one of getting my first passport is completed. Now i have to go to post office.
 
Is this part of your plan for world domination?
 
Are you going somewhere with your passport?
 
Does anyone have a better reference than just the Washington manual for IM that will fit in your pocket?
 
My passport is part of my plan to visit Windsor, Canada. I was warned that going across the border is easy but getting back into the U.S. can be a problem if you are without a passport. In case you don't know, Windsor is the land of strip clubs and underage drinking.

I may hate everything about canada, but there is nothing better than 19 y/o women drinking to prove they can AND strip clubs which are recruiting people for the superbowl.

I also want to go see Niagra Falls, and it's faster to go via the canada side.
 
after my extended absence I feel it is time for me to come back full force. Astro and I will go to windsor, for above reasons mentioned. I also noticed the panera's in michigan seem to attract hot chicks from about 15 up to 32, making me motivated to go and pretend to study. The new rule for dating I heard is half your age plus 6 years, so bernard you can date like a 25 year old. I have to take the surgery test this week, so hopefully it doesn't blow. Mt clemen's is a pretty fun place to do rotations, but they do love to work their students. I do have to rate it better than st. Joe's overall though. That's it for now, remember "You sleep with 0% of the girls you don't hit on".
 
Have you guys figured out where you want to go yet for internship/residency?
 
if I do neurosurgery I'll try for a residency in michigan, illinois, ohio, and california.

If i do general surgery I really like Mt. Clemens here in michigan but i am checking out mercy in des moines too, and I'm keeping my ears open from people at sites right now to apply to and consider rotating through. But I would guess I'm gonna end up in michigan right now.......
 
Pediatric urology through John Handjob's in New York. I heard it's a total hand's on experience, and the scenary is prime....numbers that is.
 
I bit the bullet and finally decided to do peds. Deep down its what I've wanted to do all along, I just got caught up in the money/listening to what other people have to say stuff. I enjoyed IM from the intellectual standpoint but I hate old people and IM is basically geriatrics. For every one patient I liked there were twenty I was neutral on and 200 I wanted to smother with a pillow until the feet stopped twitching. Just kidding...sort of. I think it would be awesome to do NICU or PICU but I would also be just fine doing general peds or hosptialist stuff.

Hey astro, i will be in your neck of the woods soon. I start my second IM rotation at bicounty on monday. The only hospital more suited to you than BI-county would be, flaming homosexual county.

CHIK-FIL-A is the best chicken sandwich ever. When I was in college they opened one up and I ate there every damn day. I'm angry that they didn't open one up till i left. Wendy's does have a great sammitch though.
 
I"m jumping on the bandwagon, I guess...But I"ve committed myself to using all of my energy to get a Navy Peds Residency (linked internship) at NCC Bethesda (It's Tri-service now...Army, Airforce, Navy)

I'm also leaning towards a fellowship in Hem/Onc.

I did have a similar experience as Felix (go figure, we're both 12 year olds): I like IM, and all the intellectual aspects, but it's essentially geriatrics. And the most countertransferrance I get is from the sick-sick cancer patients. Most of the time I just sort of feel neutral (and tired of tracking all 16 chronic diagnoses).

Pediatrics was better.

I have additional rotations set up at the beginning of 4th year in Pediatrics Ward (so I can learn inpatient side like Cliff rambles about) at Bethesda, and a rotation at the USUHS Ped hem/onc fellowship. I'm sure this'll cinch it one way or the other.

My only backup plan at this time is an IM residency (Shudder), and Adult Hem/Onc.

I guess when it comes down to it I want to poison people in hopes of saving them. 👍
 
I still have no idea; but I get lectures from this Infectious disease guy and I really like all those bugs and stuff, but I don't want to catch them. So I still don't know. Maybe I'll just do IM and then figure out what I like later on and perhaps specialize or not....
 
Portier and Dartos, I think you both would make good Peds docs.... (Portier, you might find some hot single moms, but it would be against the law to date them...)
 
babyruth said:
Portier and Dartos, I think you both would make good Peds docs.... (Portier, you might find some hot single moms, but it would be against the law to date them...)
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I've already had my brush with medicare moms during my rural Peds rotation....lemme just say that there aren't many but in a few cases, the "Lee Press on Family" looks like a good opiton.


😍
 
I found the dark side - general surgery is totally for me.

Felix - I will be on intneral medicine with you. and at this time i will throw you around like the little bitch you are. Nice comment on Bi-county...took me a few minutes to catch onto that one.

I'm sorry for putting that bump on your wife's head.
 
Thanks baby ruth! I agree that ID is really cool. Mt. Clemens in MI has an awesome ID doc named Dr. Ojnan. He gives very excellent, very practical lectures. One warning though, not that money is the be all end all (i'm interested in peds after all) but IM docs typically don't make much more than a non specialized internist.
 
My wife said she wouldn't have minded the bump so much if you would have at least satisfied her...oh well, theres always a next time, especially with my wife 😉

I think surgery is a good fit for you bird****. BTW the docs i was following today spent about five minutes ripping on that doc who gave the lecture today.

Portier, PEDS RULES!!! I think I would be more interested in heme onc if I didn't hate onc so much! Love the patients hate the subject. Part of me is wondering if I should just do FP since I probably just want to do clinic anyway. 😕
 
Portier said:
I"m jumping on the bandwagon, I guess...But I"ve committed myself to using all of my energy to get a Navy Peds Residency (linked internship) at NCC Bethesda (It's Tri-service now...Army, Airforce, Navy)

I'm also leaning towards a fellowship in Hem/Onc.

I did have a similar experience as Felix (go figure, we're both 12 year olds): I like IM, and all the intellectual aspects, but it's essentially geriatrics. And the most countertransferrance I get is from the sick-sick cancer patients. Most of the time I just sort of feel neutral (and tired of tracking all 16 chronic diagnoses).

Pediatrics was better.

I have additional rotations set up at the beginning of 4th year in Pediatrics Ward (so I can learn inpatient side like Cliff rambles about) at Bethesda, and a rotation at the USUHS Ped hem/onc fellowship. I'm sure this'll cinch it one way or the other.

My only backup plan at this time is an IM residency (Shudder), and Adult Hem/Onc.

I guess when it comes down to it I want to poison people in hopes of saving them. 👍
Click to expand...
Im glad im not the only one who mostly just feels neutral in adult patient rooms. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me that im in this really sick patients room and just don't feel....anything. My patients today at bicounty weren't as old as the average patient at Mt. Clemens. Most of them were in the 45-65 instead of the >85 category.
 
Children being sick is definately more heart-wrenching than adults who have multiple dieases and problems, with many of them being self-induced (DM-II, alcoholism, obesity, etc.). I try to look at these patients as a situation where I say 'what am I missing, or what else could I do for them that will improve their quality of life...' They can be frustrating at times and you have to deal with multiple problems and get paid the same amount for it...

The up side to specialty is that you only get consulted for things and then don't have a lot of long-time patients or have to mes with continuity of care. I just fix the immediate crisis and then send them back to their FP or IM doc...
 
Good for you Felix, Peds should fit you just fine...how is the baby or should I say my baby, thank god you didnt want to get the DNA test, ha.
 
I loved my peds rotation as well at Blank in dsm. The reason it was so great is even when the kids were really sick they would light up at the chance to go to the play room or to have the ps2 brought to their room. So even if you made them feel a little bit better so they could play games they loved you, whereas adults are pissed because they smoked and drank for 30 years and now they can't breathe and have liver failure and they take it out on you.


I would have to say after weighing options and looking at programs I am probably gonna gun for neurosurgery. I thought I would like general better, but nothing was as exciting for me on general surgery as the craniotomy I did when I was on call with the neurosurgeon. I think I really want to get into brain/spinal cord tumors, but who knows. I can tell you one thing though, I'm on anesthesia right now at Mt Clemens and I could not do this all day. You basically push drugs, babysit CRNA's, and everyonce in a while get to do a peripheral nerve block. They make a lot of money not to do a whole lot, but I just couldn't do it, I would go ****ing crazy sitting there all day.

AStro you will be always gay in my book.
 
Has anyone else had this experience yet?

I was at work, I turned my cell back on to check messages, and I noticed one. After checking it, it was the site I want for residency telling me my Peds Ward was cancelled since someone else was signed up for it.. And the NICU was full for that month, but I could pick anything else.

WTF? I can have anything but that which will give me face time with the Residency Selection Board Members for the hospital. GREAT!

SO I called up and moved it to the next month....luckily. And I got NICU instead of Ward, but my blood pressure was HIGH! I was like, "DAMN....then thought some other words."

It all worked out, but my heart was in my throat for a while there....

👎 👎 👎 👎
 
I did a couple weeks of gas at mcgh, i could definitely do that ****...procedures are fun, youre done with work before lunch....some of my best rotation memories are sitting in the surgeon lounge watching ER with the chief of aneasthesia at ten thirty in the afternoon. I have to say I am doing my second month of medicine at bicounty and having a much better time. We go to codes every day and im writing scripts discharge orders and other good stuff. Rotations are more fun when you get more responsibility. I still like peds best, but maybe fp would be good? I'm so confused. Portier, whats with your gay signature now? Have you met a nice man to settle down with?

Dr. Krank, who are you? Saying that your'e my kids potential father certainly doesn't do much to narrow the list down, which you should know. When someone nails 23.7 guys a week (Ray is the .7, ask him about it sometime) youve got a whole lot of dna testing to do. :laugh:
 
Dartos I am sorry that I didnt narrow the list by nailing your wife. Here is a hint, I used to be the fourth wheel with Jane, Dejan, and Cliff back in the day. I think they all did much better as tri-pod though. Ray your signature does need some work atleast use the line from wedding crashers from Schopenhauer, you know the one about we are all one. Your lips are my lips Ray and dont you forget it. Incase you didnt figure out who this is, it is Matt.
 
Dr Krank said:
Dartos I am sorry that I didnt narrow the list by nailing your wife. Here is a hint, I used to be the fourth wheel with Jane, Dejan, and Cliff back in the day. I think they all did much better as tri-pod though. Ray your signature does need some work atleast use the line from wedding crashers from Schopenhauer, you know the one about we are all one. Your lips are my lips Ray and dont you forget it. Incase you didnt figure out who this is, it is Matt.
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HEEEEYYYY!!!!! long time no talk. The little guy is doing good, getting old real quick. We're talking about makin another one soon...so if you wouldnt mind driving up to MI sometime during an ovulation cycle that would be super! Hows second year treating you? I thought it pretty much sucked. How is your little'un doing these days? and by yours I of course mean, Janes little one (the mysteries of the chinese are unfathomable).
 
She is doing great. It is always fun to go home and see how much she has changed, she should be walking here before too long. Yes I dont know how Jane did it but some how she did have my baby, weird. Yeah second year sucks ass, pretty boring stuff and this class is a bunch of complainers. It is good to hear that you want to have another one, but I think we should arrange the first marriage now so we can get that out of the way.
 
Dartos Vader said:
HEEEEYYYY!!!!! long time no talk. The little guy is doing good, getting old real quick. We're talking about makin another one soon...so if you wouldnt mind driving up to MI sometime during an ovulation cycle that would be super! Hows second year treating you? I thought it pretty much sucked. How is your little'un doing these days? and by yours I of course mean, Janes little one (the mysteries of the chinese are unfathomable).
Click to expand...

So, is that first kid starting to have a pot belly, a beard, and speak French? I mean the .7 that's mine.
 
As I am sitting here reading about that time of month for the ladies, I have come to the conclusion that the vagina is a dangerous place. Two raincoats from now on. I think it is Gods way of laughing at us, kind of how we laugh at dogs licking their butts. Just a thought.
 
anesthesia is pretty sweet gig, I guess I'm just too stubborn to work that little and make that much🙂 I start radiology next week, then its back to the real worl next month and to medicine. Mt Clemens I've decided is a pretty nice place to be. I haven't had any problems with any physicians and there are only a few nurses (male) who seem to want to make your life hard. Does anybody know of a place with a list of all the DO residencies. I've looked at www.do-online.org, but it doesn't have the most updated information.
 
Why is it weird to see people that you have not seen in years? Today I ran into two people I have not seen in awhile, one I have not seen since 1998 and the other one I think it was over a year and some change ago. For those of you that know me, I am a hugger so I gage this by how people hug. My old high school friend gave me a hug for the ages, it was like she was really excited to see me right before her Med school interview. I did not figure she would be that excited....The other girl it was almost uncomfortable and strange.....I mean Ray gives me better hugs after he is ass plugged in front of those protestors. Anyways enough ranting about ackward moments in time. Drop me a line about studying for boards 👎 👎
 
I'm taking Step I on Tuesday, going to be the worst V-day ever!
 
Why the hell are you taking it on Valentines Day????? Well I hope you get some mad play afterwards or something to make up for the ****ty morning and afternoon. Good Luck....Thank god I dont take Step I until June 12.
 
Dr Krank said:
Why is it weird to see people that you have not seen in years? Today I ran into two people I have not seen in awhile, one I have not seen since 1998 and the other one I think it was over a year and some change ago. For those of you that know me, I am a hugger so I gage this by how people hug. My old high school friend gave me a hug for the ages, it was like she was really excited to see me right before her Med school interview. I did not figure she would be that excited....The other girl it was almost uncomfortable and strange.....I mean Ray gives me better hugs after he is ass plugged in front of those protestors. Anyways enough ranting about ackward moments in time. Drop me a line about studying for boards 👎 👎
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I'd do me.
 
I dont' think I'm taking USMLE step 2...........it's to damn expensive and there is no logical reason I can think of right now. Studying for boards, just do it, sit down and read, doesn't matter which books you use or what other people did. Just don't put it off, cause I did and that's the only thing I would change.
 
Cliff you da the man....I have already started but it is weird because I have never studied this far in advance for anything and I hope it pays off. I think I am more freaked about taking it on the computer, man I love the paper tests. Where you at right now Cliff?
 
In case you were wondering, the Navy Dress Blues by Brooks Brothers (It's called the Premeire Line) is worth the extra money.

They stayed rolled up in a garmet bag for 30+ hours and traveled the country and came out looking PERFECT.
 
Hey, Im taking the FP exam on Thursday morning. Any last minute study ideas. Things to spend a little extra time concentrating on? Anything would be appreciated.

I've been kinda concentrating on the little blue boxes in the book.
 
gagolden said:
Hey, Im taking the FP exam on Thursday morning. Any last minute study ideas. Things to spend a little extra time concentrating on? Anything would be appreciated.

I've been kinda concentrating on the little blue boxes in the book.
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what book are we supposed to use for FP and IM

And Krank I'm in Michigan at Mt. Clemens
 
cremaster2007 said:
what book are we supposed to use for FP and IM

And Krank I'm in Michigan at Mt. Clemens
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For IM - if you can memorize your entire Harrisons and/or Cecils AND be able to psychically predict ECGs that are unreadable, then you just might pass the IM test. Being a good guesser helps too.
 
NoOneKnows said:
For IM - if you can memorize your entire Harrisons and/or Cecils AND be able to psychically predict ECKs that are unreadable, then you just might pass the IM test. Being a good guesser helps too.
Click to expand...

Let me tell you what I wish I would have done for IM. Spend the time studying for Level 2. Blow off the IM test and pray that your board study will cover you. Take the test, fail it twice and wait for the "remediation essay" you have to write. Since I wrote mine in three or four hours and got a "pass" from Dr. Hoff within hours of it being sent in, don't even stress about it too much. I think he's getting so many essays' that he doesn't care anymore. My time would have been better spent preparing for boards.

Any ideas for studying for FP?
 
For the IM test:

Can I borrow somebody's lucky guessing socks?

Or maybe some magic guessing pants?

I take it Thursday..
 
On the FP test, I suggest you study up on OB and PEDs 1/4 of the test is devoted to each. (1/2 Total) And for Peds, concentrate on neonatal stuff for the most part. I heard that it had tons of OB, so thats what I studied. I wish I studied more peds. Didnt do so hot. Good luck 😎
 
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