This is only for you SDNers in the class. Also, it is only for in middle section of the class. Not the gunners in the front row or the self proclaimed geniuses of the back. Just you middle area stick to it and get your sh-t done people.
I know that we are all nervous about the cranial nerves so I asked Dr. Meetz what his questions would entail and recieved the following answer...
The format will be some hard questions
asked in a numerical sequence followed by some harder ones, each containing
answers that will be difficult to determine without having done extensive
research in the area particular to each question. Some questions will be
written in binary code (00101101) while others will be asked in the form of
a statement with an implied proper voice inflection at the end to make it a
question, like they do in Spanish. Some questions will be invisible in
order to force you to think hard about cranial nerve nuclei and what
he probably wants you to know, however the answers will be visible to make it fair.
One question will have no right answer and you will automatically lose that point.
You can work with a partner but you will be blindfolded and placed in a separate room
and communication will be strictly via the United Postal Service.
Each question will be worth 1 point, but if you get one wrong you will lose
3 points off your total class grade. If you do poorly and end up with a
negative number for your total points for the class, the remaining negative
points will be subtracted from another class in which you are doing well in,
probably not pathology (wink, wink). In addition, any siblings you have that are enrolled
in a public school within the state of Iowa will also be docked a number of
points equal to the absolute value of the integer of your score if your
point total is below that needed for a 35% on the test after adjusting for
the 3 point/question penalty. Finally, if the circles you fill in on your
bubble sheet do not form the first ever perfect geometric circle (no
protractors will be allowed, but the formula for the area and circumference
of a circle will be given) and if they are not completely filled in black so
that light cannot escape (bubble sheets will be sent to NASA for a
comparison of light absorption in bubble sheet vs. black hole UB371alpha),
then your parents will be taxed according to their next highest income tax
bracket for 2 years (Hawaii and Alaska residents only pay 5%) and your birth
name will be stripped from you and replaced by a 5 digit number which you
will be required to use during all social interactions, both public and
private, for the duration of your professional career (you can choose your
own number!). To reward those of you who study hard and score 102% or more,
you will be given a bag of poo that you can stick your already brown nose in.
Hang in there, the year is almost over,
Cuthbert
PS: I asked Dr. Dyche what he would cover on the test and he gave me his usual "you are the biggest dumb a-- I've ever seen" look. I hate that look. Dicky, you know what I mean. It's all your fault.
