I have two kids under 3, and people have let me know that it's probably best to keep that to myself during interviews. However, I've also taken a year off to stay home with them, and I am not currently in a practicum, so I'm wondering if I should mention them to explain the gap in my training. I am truly committed to my career, and I think the last couple of years has reaffirmed that for me, but I'm not sure if that is a big negative for interviews. I'm torn, so hoping to get some feedback. Thanks!
Do I share that I'm a parent in interviews?
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deleted343839
I shared on my internship interviews that I had a newborn at home. It was in part a pragmatic decision since I needed to arrange to pump milk during breaks on my interviews, so I thought I may as well just be open about my circumstances. It was also my litmus test for the program faculty because at that point in my training I did not want to work with or be supervised by someone who was going to get hostile about it. I raised the topic in the context of discussing the schedule and structure of the program. It led to productive conversations and more expressions of support than I expected. (And yes, I matched.)
Your mileage may vary. IMO if you are assertive, matter of fact, don't dwell on it, and don't ask for special treatment or considerations it's perfectly fine to share that you have a family in an appropriate context. On the other hand, I can certainly understand the decision not to share this information. It comes down to: (1) your tolerance for risking that your motherhood will be seen as a liability; (2) your tolerance for risking that your future supervisors might be less than understanding of your roles outside internship; and (3) your specific reasons for sharing this information.
Your mileage may vary. IMO if you are assertive, matter of fact, don't dwell on it, and don't ask for special treatment or considerations it's perfectly fine to share that you have a family in an appropriate context. On the other hand, I can certainly understand the decision not to share this information. It comes down to: (1) your tolerance for risking that your motherhood will be seen as a liability; (2) your tolerance for risking that your future supervisors might be less than understanding of your roles outside internship; and (3) your specific reasons for sharing this information.
I chose not to share because I wasn't sure howpeople would react. I ended up sharing in one situation and had a very warm response. I also took a year off and, in interviews, attributed it to a project I was semi working on at that time. But no one really asked at all.
My two cents, it's very likely you will be asking for special accommodations as a parent and that's ok! Unless you have a partner who can stay home with kiddos (which I think pp might have mentioned that she does), it's likely you will have to take time off when your child is sick, which others will obviously not have to do. That's part of being a working parent, is legally protected and is unrelated to your dedication to your career (in my opinion). Happy to chat more about this via pm.
My two cents, it's very likely you will be asking for special accommodations as a parent and that's ok! Unless you have a partner who can stay home with kiddos (which I think pp might have mentioned that she does), it's likely you will have to take time off when your child is sick, which others will obviously not have to do. That's part of being a working parent, is legally protected and is unrelated to your dedication to your career (in my opinion). Happy to chat more about this via pm.
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I've found this thread helpful. Would you recommend the same for someone who is going into program interviews (as opposed to internship interviews) with small kids? At the time I plan to apply and hopefully interview, my kids will be two and four. I really do need to mention it because I need to gauge how 'family-friendly' the program is. But on the other hand, you know. It can be a tough line to walk for women with kids. I might just be over-applying my experience in the corporate world, though.
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I've definitely perceived some stigma against women raising kids. Not to say that's every program etc
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Yeah. I would imagine the more competitive, research-focused schools carry the most stigma. I could be wrong, but it just seems to fit. I'd like to apply to school psych programs and I don't want to assume they're all warm and cuddly because the entire program is focused on kids, but my hope is that they may be a little more understanding. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think is is wise to find a way to share this information with pride and because (even if you don't have kids) knowing whether an organization is "family friendly" or not is basic to the quality of your worklife on internship or in school. It also can be true that a reference mentions you have children (eg: commenting on how well you balance things work and family reponsibilities). If you avoid or seem evasive about this fact of life that can come across as odd. You want to bring your whole self to the interview. As someone who does interviews, I want to know who would be coming and that they have a life beyond work. For our site, the experience of parenthood can definitely come across as a strength.
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I would be against it if a woman came off as one of those smug middle aged back-to-schoolers who throw out every article every written if it isn't consistent with her basis of "as a mother, I..."
One more thought for the OP- in internship interviews I often disclosed to the current interns to get a feel for the reaction (if I felt that they weren't necessary evaluating). One of them told me "do not share that here" because she said she had had some bad experiences. Another group shared that multiple interns had kids. It was kind of how I tested the waters.
When I applied to programs I didn't have kids, but I guess since I worked in the department it was known that I wanted to, so the program director emphasized how family friendly the program was (PsyD) And had me interview with someone who had a child during the program. I could see how this could be harder at very competitive PhDs, but if possible maybe do a little research and try to find someone who had kids in the programs where you are interviewing and then try to get the info from them?
I think this is such an important issue that id actually like to start some kind of group focused on going through the clinical psych training program with children. In my experience there is still stigma and logistical barriers to doing training with young children, obstacles that I don't completely understand. However, it's very possible and there are many supportive people in the field!
When I applied to programs I didn't have kids, but I guess since I worked in the department it was known that I wanted to, so the program director emphasized how family friendly the program was (PsyD) And had me interview with someone who had a child during the program. I could see how this could be harder at very competitive PhDs, but if possible maybe do a little research and try to find someone who had kids in the programs where you are interviewing and then try to get the info from them?
I think this is such an important issue that id actually like to start some kind of group focused on going through the clinical psych training program with children. In my experience there is still stigma and logistical barriers to doing training with young children, obstacles that I don't completely understand. However, it's very possible and there are many supportive people in the field!
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deleted343839
I have never seen this stereotype (caricature? hate fantasy?) play out in reality, or anything close to it, TBH.
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I've known more of them than I can count. Most at the undergrad level, a few at the masters level. Go to a state school in a huge city to find them.
Edit: maybe "mamaphd" is the wrong person to have this conversation with, admittedly
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I think MamaPhD is the exact person to have this conversation with...to enlighten you, experi_mental.
And I also have not seen this type of working woman in the field during clinical psychology doctoral training (which is what we're talking about, right? Not the undergrad or masters level? Very different ball of wax, here, folks). Most of these "middle aged, back-to-schooler" mothers are mature enough not to seem entitled about their role of mother + clinician. Although, I did know one new mother who talked about her one child ad nauseaum, but that was only around other trainees....and believe it or not, she was completely appropriate at all other times (with supervisors, in practica, with patients)
I'm confused, experi_mental...are you "pro" working parents or are you flagging the "con" bias? If you're against, maybe having this conversation with you isn't appropriate, as the OP is looking for support. Not confirmation bias about people who will give her a hard time.
Back to the OP:
Are the interviewers going to ask?
If they are not going to ask, why offer that information? Isn’t everything on a need to know basis?
Do they need to be affirmed (or even guess) that you are a family-person? Does it not come out in everything you do already, maybe implicitly?
If someone asks directly and I feel it is appropriate to the conversation, I present my family well, b/c I'm proud of them. And I am proud of my place with them.
I usually don't offer up that my family is the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. As per my sister, it is 'Nonya.' None of your business. Unless I make it so...or you do. And if you do, I wanna know 'why??' before I self-disclose. That is also how I was trained to do therapy. Be curious about curiosity.
I make it my regular practice not to ask for accommodations with being a parent. However, I have the luxury of a nanny, grandparent, husband (who owns his own business, hence makes his own schedule), and friends, who all help me get by without taking time off from work to care for my family during business work hours. When I did need something (like a quiet place to pump), I found one with trusted staff. And I know there will come a time when I need to take off work for child-related issues, but so far that times has not come. And I have four young children under the age of 12. I actually made it my entire internship year without my internship program director knowing I had any kids - I did not withhold this information, but it never became an issue. (The program director was very appreciative of how I conducted myself regardless of knowing if I was a parent and was pleasantly shocked when I said so at my exit interview). However, I had asked former interns about which sites were "family-friendly," and I would not have gone to an internship site that required 60+ hours/week. (I ended up at a VA Hospital that kept regular business hours...no late nights ever, so all worked out.) And that is where I think you should do your field work, OP. Asking other interns about the environment...and share the technical stuff about the job with the interviewers/supervisors. IMO.
I actually take great pride in the fact that I am not only a mother, but that I am the exact opposite of the "smug middle aged back-to-schoolers who throw out every article every written if it isn't consistent with her basis of "as a mother, I..." I can do my highly-skilled job just as consistently and reliably as any other individual out there (male or female, with or without kids). My personal life is just that, my personal life. And if I throw out articles written that are not consistent with my view of being a mother, I better have a damn good pedagogical reason for doing so, because that is not what practicing mental health services are about. Being a parent and being a clinician are not mutually exclusive, two paths often intertwine because being both a parent and clinician changes your ideology, how you conduct your behavior (hopefully), and definitely influences your emotion (& that's where I assume non-parents take issue, b/c they feel parents are being overly-emotional about their families in the workplace).
I can assure you that being a mother makes me (personally) a much better clinician than I imagine I would have been before I became that mother. For me, it personally just adds depth of life, certainly depth of character, and helps me prioritize, like a bad-a**. As a parent and as a clinician, I don't have time for anyone's BS. So, with that...let me do my job and get out of my way. If I need something when the time comes, I will ask. If that time never comes, then continue to stay out my way...so I can do what I am hired to do during those working hours.
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My point was to come off as a scholar and be careful not to portray yourself as a stereotype, and for this reason I personally would not disclose it to a rigorous program unless absolutely necessary
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deleted343839
How is the mere mention of a family "portraying yourself as a stereotype"? The problem is those who would automatically associate "woman with children" with "uppity know-it-all lightweight." And you demonstrate my point about disclosing one's parenthood status as a litmus test - someone who thinks this way is precisely the type of person I want to avoid.
This is for you, experi_mental: http://lookslikescience.tumblr.com/
Why is that? I called out your remark not because I have much in common with women who go to college in midlife, but because it sounded like BS. And you confirmed that by clarifying that you were not talking about doctoral trainees. Doctoral training is the general subject matter of this board, so your observation is not helpful or relevant. We meet all kinds of people in undergrad but wouldn't expect most of them to make the cut for doctoral work. (Though honestly, as a group I've been generally more impressed with nontraditional students than with typical late-adolescent undergrads, and there are some empirical data consistent with this, but that's another matter.)
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The reason they don't "make the cut" is because people like me screen them out
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deleted343839
Great, you're doing your job by weeding out people who think their life experience substitutes for knowledge of the science. Have a cookie.
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Clearly I violated your beliefs based on your experience of being a mother. Can't identify them all I guess
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deleted343839
Oh no, far from it. I believe there are people who will find some way to shoehorn their stereotypes into threads regardless of their relevance. It happens often.
By the way, why does your profile identify you as female, but you post things like
?
By the way, why does your profile identify you as female, but you post things like
?
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I've had the pleasure /displeasure to be around many people that evidence this mindset. However, I've been around zero scholars, zero fans of literature, and zero clinical psych doctoral students that have this attitude. My wife's simpleton friends who are part of the "mom club" and go on their parades (as facebook informs me) or spend all day at "mommy and me/ momzumba/play dates" groups certainly have this attitude. But these are the people I try to not use numbers with, explain statistics to, or in general have much conversation with past the weather for a whole variety of reasons. No one I've met in the academic world has this mindset at all.
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Speaking of shoehorning, did I say that the very first mention makes you a stereotype?
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And my reason for not wanting to engage in this with someone with the word "mama" in the name is I craaaaazily thought maybe you would be incapable of discussion with dispassion like an adult. I'll take that cookie any time though
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deleted343839
LOL, okay then. Happy trolling.
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How are you (and I am honing in on dear you, experi_mental) in any position of authority to determine who can make any sort of arbitrary "cut" to further themselves in life, when your comments are misogynistic (look it up...dictionary.com is helpful) and the exact kind of narrow-mindedness that people work to stomp out? What, pray tell, do you know about parenting...aside from being the child??
Come back to me (and SDN threads on parenting) after you've 1) grown up...i.e., entered into a different Erikson stage that the one you're riding in now, 2) experienced a little more of the world from the perspective of someone who is responsible for more than the care of oneself, 3) entered doctoral training to the level that the OP is (I am assuming, applying to internship).
You don't have a log in this fire, buddy...clearly from the conversation you are having with MamaPhD.
To tell someone to "act scholarly" is fine and dandy...but to know what you are speaking of before you write it. To act scholarly, in my book, means weighing all sides, critically and thoughtfully, base you information on multiple sources of information, and make an educated decision based on your environment, peers/colleagues, and your internal and external resources. It does not mean, relegate the position of parenting to that of some dingbat who does not know how to conduct herself or himself in an interview because their personal crap is spilling out in all areas of their lives, specially doctoral training internship interview, where you will sit in residency as a staff psychologist for one year...with progressively less supervision, and more responsibility than you have had in years prior.
I don't know where this conversation is going, but experi_mental, please quit while you think you are ahead. Because I will take you out if start insulting working mothers/fathers who are are also managing their careers.
P.S. Bust all you want on my profile name...it has nothing to do the with some silly girl-band and everything to do with my former life before I began doctoral training. Technically, it should be CheetahWoman... Because there are a big differences between the child and the adult.
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You will take me out? Please do
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Why are people making fun of zumba in this thread? I don't have the patience to wade through all this mommy nonsense to find out.
I will say that my children bond with their mother makes me jealous. Although I can usual do no wrong in their minds, they can take me or leave me before bed. Mommy tells better stories than daddy.
I will say that my children bond with their mother makes me jealous. Although I can usual do no wrong in their minds, they can take me or leave me before bed. Mommy tells better stories than daddy.
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No hate towards zumba, and my most sincere apologies. I was painting with a very broad brush, because that's what I thought we were doing in this thread?🙂
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Figure of speech. Maybe I should've said I will waste moments here and moments there in the next few days...on this silly back and forth until this thread becomes too off-topic and locked. And if you start up your nonsense on another thread...you'll see me again, because I cannot allow this BS to go unguarded. This is a thread on disclosing parental status for doctoral students in training. If you are neither of those, your alternative perspective does nothing to elevate the conversation..it actually dumbs it down. Sorry to be so harsh.
The advice I gave of laying-low in interviews is still something I stand by because I fear that I will always run into some ignorant douch-bags who have done an excellent job of caring for themselves (and possibly only themselves) their entire lives, and may not understand the sacrifice that goes into raising a family and having a worthwhile career. Happily, I can say that I work in a field where most people are delighted to learn I have a large family, become very interested in my little village that helps raise them, and how my husband & I manage all that we do. I am honored by this and take pride in this fact. But you only get this side of me, once you know me (or you read my posts on SDN). Otherwise, I get my positions based on merit and I know, merit alone.
However, there comes a time when you meet people that just don't get the level of intensity that others may live on daily basis. And you hope those individuals will soon get some clue. But like I said, I don't have time for BS, and I will not waste anyone else's or my time while those folks figure out their ideologies on life...unless I am the therapist for that person (which is a completely different power differential and an entirely different set of rules). Generally, while someone who takes issue with working parents is still figuring out, "Did she say she had a family or not?"....I've already been given the position, and moved on the pre-employment screening .
So, experi_mental, undergrad as you may sound...elevate the level of conversation on this thread and don't make me give you a WorkingParent 101 today. Mmmm, Ok?
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Undergrad? That is possibly the worst insult I have ever been called, and I've been called terrible things by much better scholars. Maybe you should spend more time with academics and less time ranting about how difficult you made your own life
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I never said anything about how difficult I made my life. Quite the opposite actually. Made it richer than money could ever buy, thank you very much.
How are you existing with this immature perspective then if you've been through graduate studies??? And what university? Quick I need to report them to the authorities for letting their students out unprepared. Clearly academics sheltered you from the great, big real world.
But, hey, I don't have time for the punching bag routine. Enjoy your morning...what's left of it.
And another thing...after one BS degree, two masters degrees, and one PhD finishing shortly, I am gladly DONE with academics. Only classes I'm going to are the ones I teach. (Oh, and those CMEs we're arranging...., and my giant stack of books-to-read collection, and an impending post-doctoral fellowship...but after that, I'm really done with academics!)
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That was my take as well and it does appear to reveal an inherent gender bias embedded in our culture. I, as a hetero male, have never thought twice about revealing biographical information, but I think some of that is because there is an assumption that my wife will take care of the kids.
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deleted343839
The OP's profile indicates she is female. But your point is well taken. The research indicates that parenthood is less of a career liability for men, and may even be a boon.
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I agree that it seems the OP is asking whether to disclose parent status during doctoral internship interviews. I, as an expectant 1st time father, was advised to not disclose that fact during on-campus faculty interviews this job season. Of course search committees are not allowed to ask, however family has come up during the less formal parts of the campus visits. At one school, while meeting with current students, they asked me directly if I had kids. When I answered, no, they asked me if I wanted to have them eventually. It was a difficult line to hold as its something I'm thrilled about and would have loved sharing. Also part of me wondered if they could tell I was holding something back.
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This was my point too. Not criticizing anyone for assuming we were talking about a mother, but pointing out that the mere fact that someone asking is probably indicative that it is a female who is concerned rather than a male.
FWIW, we had a discussion about this in my department, and the general advice was to avoid any reference to a family in letters/essays, but feel free to casually mention it if appropriate during interviews, especially if a family friendly environment is important.
Just to follow up, I am a mother, and I do think that is viewed differently in interviews than if I were a father. Though I very much value fathers and their contributions to raising children, they don't ever have to worry about the basic biology of being a nursing mother and pumping at work (which I will), and my husband would be the first to say that when we are both working, I will probably still take on more responsibility for our kids. The bond I have with my kiddos is just different than the bond they have with their dad (not better or more important, just different). I am usually able to comfort them a whole lot easier than my husband, and that means I end up doing that comforting part more often, and comforting is a large part of parenting when your kids are under 3. I have family members who are stay at home dads, so I know there are definitely fathers who take different roles, but the majority of mothers I know, whether working or not, bear the brunt of the responsibility for the children, especially during the first couple of years. For those reasons, I don't think it's surprising that people assumed I was a mother (or they just noticed that my profile said female). Fathers don't usually have to defend their commitment to their career, but mothers typically do.
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Exactly what she said.
And when certain people (thou shall not name) began making statements on this thread about those indicating their parentage in their monikers being UNABLE to give a non-bias opinion (what is the point of that statement anyhow?!? No one answer that please...it was a rhetorical question) or mothers who rant about their parenting status as middle-age back to schoolers (someone had to raise their kids, didn't they? Guess they had to sacrifice academics to do so), all under the guise of advice to "act scholarly" really pissed me off because it was a very novice perspective on a very intense situation that was obviously conceptualized and definitely not actualized.
True, you don't have to have depression, anxiety or traumas to clinically treat those ailments. But if you're going to give parental disclosure advice on a doctoral thread, you better have a leg in this race before you speak up. Otherwise you are considered an innocent bystander. And all us parents know how *joyful* (insert sarcasm here) unsolicited advice is from those who have no clue.
kwt6466, good luck with interviews.
Keep your eyes on the prize (the position that is best for you...& your family...because remember you also want to find a site that suits your training goals, first and foremost), and you'll do great. Actually, my maternal 'guilt' (and I say that with psychodynamics in mind) probably makes me work harder both in the workplace and at home. 😉 So borrow my attitude and go into your interviews thinking that those sites would be lucky to have you.
And when certain people (thou shall not name) began making statements on this thread about those indicating their parentage in their monikers being UNABLE to give a non-bias opinion (what is the point of that statement anyhow?!? No one answer that please...it was a rhetorical question) or mothers who rant about their parenting status as middle-age back to schoolers (someone had to raise their kids, didn't they? Guess they had to sacrifice academics to do so), all under the guise of advice to "act scholarly" really pissed me off because it was a very novice perspective on a very intense situation that was obviously conceptualized and definitely not actualized.
True, you don't have to have depression, anxiety or traumas to clinically treat those ailments. But if you're going to give parental disclosure advice on a doctoral thread, you better have a leg in this race before you speak up. Otherwise you are considered an innocent bystander. And all us parents know how *joyful* (insert sarcasm here) unsolicited advice is from those who have no clue.
kwt6466, good luck with interviews.
Keep your eyes on the prize (the position that is best for you...& your family...because remember you also want to find a site that suits your training goals, first and foremost), and you'll do great. Actually, my maternal 'guilt' (and I say that with psychodynamics in mind) probably makes me work harder both in the workplace and at home. 😉 So borrow my attitude and go into your interviews thinking that those sites would be lucky to have you.
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I don't think any psychologist would find it surprising that society has different expectations of roles of men and women. Many of my undergrad students would though. Many seem to think they are living in some sort of post-modern utopia where all things are completely equal and to say anything differently is heresy. We had a heated debate one day about male aggression where many of the young women were very vehement in their disagreement that men are more likely to be physically aggressive than females. Call me a biased profiler, but if I'm walking alone at night, I am more nervous about a group of young men than a wild pack of roving soccer moms. 😱
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Clearly the epitome of objectivity right here. No bias at all to be seen.Exactly what she said.
And when certain people (thou shall not name) began making statements on this thread about those indicating their parentage in their monikers being UNABLE to give a non-bias opinion (what is the point of that statement anyhow?!? No one answer that please...it was a rhetorical question) or mothers who rant about their parenting status as middle-age back to schoolers (someone had to raise their kids, didn't they? Guess they had to sacrifice academics to do so), all under the guise of advice to "act scholarly" really pissed me off because it was a very novice perspective on a very intense situation that was obviously conceptualized and definitely not actualized.
True, you don't have to have depression, anxiety or traumas to clinically treat those ailments. But if you're going to give parental disclosure advice on a doctoral thread, you better have a leg in this race before you speak up. Otherwise you are considered an innocent bystander. And all us parents know how *joyful* (insert sarcasm here) unsolicited advice is from those who have no clue.
kwt6466, good luck with interviews.
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Yes, I was surprised to see here that someone seemed to have missed the ubiquitous and very loud discussion about working and motherhood in our culture. It can be an unwinable situation for women and something we have to consider at all times. Men have to make work-family sacrifices too and have their own pressures to deal with in the workplace, but re this discussion (interviews), men tend to be viewed more favorably by employers when they have kids. Women... I think it can really depend on the interviewer and career/institution so we have to play it safe and just hope we don't get someone too biased.
I've brought up my mom status here a few times because I'm at a stage where I'm considering my next step career-wise and I'm aware of how difficult and time-consuming a doctoral program can be. There's no way it won't affect my family- we will all have to make sacrifices for this. It's not just me anymore and to make a decision like this and move trough the process without considering them would be negligent and kind of oblivious. I don't want any special accommodations because I have kids, which is why I consider them heavily during the planning process... In order to *avoid* running into problems later.
Anyway, always good to talk about these issues and good luck to the OP!
I've brought up my mom status here a few times because I'm at a stage where I'm considering my next step career-wise and I'm aware of how difficult and time-consuming a doctoral program can be. There's no way it won't affect my family- we will all have to make sacrifices for this. It's not just me anymore and to make a decision like this and move trough the process without considering them would be negligent and kind of oblivious. I don't want any special accommodations because I have kids, which is why I consider them heavily during the planning process... In order to *avoid* running into problems later.
Anyway, always good to talk about these issues and good luck to the OP!
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Little ergs runnin around, offending snowflakes and demonstrating ample bourbon knowledge. Christmas at your house would be fun!
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Random comment here, semi-related. I actually do the heavy majority of the parenting/parental responsibilities with my kids compared to my wife. But in any discussion about family everyone always assumes my wife does everything. Gets kind of old and correcting people makes me feel like a jerk so I usually don't do it, but some dads don't get nearly enough credit.
Sort of reinforces the inherent gender assumptions. I've never had it held against me in an interview but have had some "Wouldn't your wife be taking care of that?" conversations at work (coming from female supervisors) when I have to leave to do something kid related. It cuts both ways.
Sort of reinforces the inherent gender assumptions. I've never had it held against me in an interview but have had some "Wouldn't your wife be taking care of that?" conversations at work (coming from female supervisors) when I have to leave to do something kid related. It cuts both ways.
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Absolutely. I didn't mean to neglect the assumptions fathers have to deal with earlier. I know many dads, stay-at-home and working, and of course they are fantastic parents and do tons of work. They've expressed similar frustrations and I think we have to listen to them. I agree and think the entire thing can get very old, including this discussion sometimes. It will be nice when we don't have to deal with so many assumptions in this area.
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Yeah, us guys need to get some credit now and then. I am definitely the primary caregiver to the cats considering my fiancee has a pretty hectic on-call schedule at times.
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Okay...here goes with the Working Parent 101, then. But first, we must address the issue of objectivity versus subjectivity (which happened to be the very first discussion in one of the classes for my first master's degree).
experi_mental (I hope you don't mind me addressing this to you, specifically), when we are born...we come into a group of people (often a family), and we are fed/clothed/cared for by a caregiver (often times a mother & father). There are two exact points of influence on our tabla rasa...at that point. Then guess what? When we are socialized with others outside of our immediate family (neighborhood, community, school), there are others who influence and build upon that tabla rasa (which is no longer a blank slate, at all...still follow me?). In fact, at some point, we form our personalities based on our biological/psychological/social factors (nature and nurture, right?), and then, sometimes we have siblings (Eeek...more influence). Sometimes **** happens...and there is yet more influence on our perspective and opinions. [For theoretical validation of these ideas, refer to Bronfenbrenner, 1994, Ecological models of human development.]
So, my friend, we can NEVER be objective unless our name is Siri (and our neural networks are actually wires...leading to a computer interface). So please stop this nonsense about not being able to offer an objective perspective on parenting (from either a parent or non-parent). As clinicians we have to balance out this fact that we cannot be truly, undeniably objective. Therefore, we develop modes & methods of communication, like ICD-9 codes. (We have to start somewhere, right?) These methods account for this inability to objectify...we group all things that seem like each other, e.g., looks like depression - low appetite, poor concentration, change in affect, sleeplessness, situational trigger, - must be depression. But no two people are alike, so depression can only seem similar in two people by the clusters of symptoms. Again, no true objectification because once you find an amygdala on the other end of any interface...you have *ta da* influence by personal feelings or opinions.
Any clinician is going to check their own biases and personal opinions to do their job, but just by the sheer nature of being human means we can never be truly objective. experi_mental, you are fooling yourself if you think you are an objective source.
And to refer back to my rhetorical question: What exactly does being objective about parenting have to do with this conversation? Absolutely nothing. We are not evaluating the OP's job performance. We are discussing whether she should share personal information or not. Objectively, I think she should not because of people who do not understand the level of intensity that she may or may not experience, and their own personal biases will impact their subsequent decisions...based on the influence of those biases and opinions. Subjectively, I think she should not unless it is relevant & appropriate to the conversation.
Anything else?
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Few of you have in fact checked your own biases. You have blown this out of proportion to validate yourselves. I by my contributions to this have demonstrated to OP that she should shy away from revelation of her limitation or, more specifically, if she should reveal should do so without succumbing to the temptation to "brag" about her children or using her experiences as a source of information to counter research lest others like myself who have completed doctoral work should find it in poor taste. You're welcome
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I would be mildly concerned about a parent who did not brag about his/her children, even in the work place.
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Fine but not in an interview! If you can fool them long enough to get hired than do what you want.
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