Do people treat you differently when they learn you got into med school?

[notretired]

I was a paramedic for many years before applying (and being accepted) to an M.D. program. It's no joke that nurses, usually BSNs, can have a giant hatred for medics and regular RNs. I was treated like absolute crap by many nurses, despite being an ACLS instructor and such.

When I got accepted to M.D. school, the word traveled quickly though our small town. Suddenly I'm the BSNs best friend. I also TA for a bunch of their 'super hard' physiology classes. Just being accepted has changed their perception.

It also happens with folks at church or around town. People that have never said a word to my wife or me are suddenly approaching us and chatting up a storm. I'm a mid-thirties non-trad who is a big redneck, prefering old jeans and Carhartt shirts to anything stylish. I think these people never thought much of me.

So yes, there has been a marked difference in how my family is treated and who interacts with us.

I really hope there are people like you in whatever school I end up attending. Same deal, came from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere and thrust myself into the beautiful world of academia. I really hope there is some appreciation for folks like us, because truth be told diversity extends to jeans and carhartts as well.

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[stickgirl390]

When I got in, physicians I interacted with took me more seriously. They used to just brush me off as a premed. Other than that, I had a lot of people who assumed getting into med school meant starting premed, or nursing school. The general public doesn’t understand the process.

 

[787593]

Girls panties drop

Can confirm

 

[M&L]

Most of my students have told me that as soon as people hear that they are going to med school, they start getting asked all sorts of medical advice.

oh yeah!!! its hilarious!!! my ex's mom, who is a nurse (retired a while ago), was asking me questions.... i was like, "does she realize that i know NOTHING at this point? " hahahha... mostly she was asking me about drugs mechanisms, and i was like, "well, i am not sure, but.... (and i would tell her what i researched, - with biochem major i did understand the the basic idea of the mechanisms, but COME on(!) - i am really not good at all". .... this is so weird..

 

[M&L]

so this one guy (potential date) asked me what i was doing for work. I told him I am in healthcare field (i work in addiction treatment facility) and i am starting graduate school in the fall.... The guy is a welder, has associate's degree (nothing wrong with that, nice guy), so i didnt want to go into explanation of medical application, and stuff.... next the guy asks "so how long till you get your nursing degree?"... nothing wrong with nurses... But i felt weird that this was literally his only guess.... seemed weird. So i politely said that i was going to start medical school to be an MD.... he never talked to me again. I actually noticed that a lot of guys reacted negatively. But there were also guys who wouldnt give me time of the day before, and now are talking to me... So I guess in personal life it just depends on the goals and attitudes of the potential partner.

 

[Phoebus Apollo]

so this one guy (potential date) asked me what i was doing for work. I told him I am in healthcare field (i work in addiction treatment facility) and i am starting graduate school in the fall.... The guy is a welder, has associate's degree (nothing wrong with that, nice guy), so i didnt want to go into explanation of medical application, and stuff.... next the guy asks "so how long till you get your nursing degree?"... nothing wrong with nurses... But i felt weird that this was literally his only guess.... seemed weird. So i politely said that i was going to start medical school to be an MD.... he never talked to me again. I actually noticed that a lot of guys reacted negatively. But there were also guys who wouldnt give me time of the day before, and now are talking to me... So I guess in personal life it just depends on the goals and attitudes of the potential partner.

Wow fascinating

F that d00d

 

[deleted967981]

so this one guy (potential date) asked me what i was doing for work. I told him I am in healthcare field (i work in addiction treatment facility) and i am starting graduate school in the fall.... The guy is a welder, has associate's degree (nothing wrong with that, nice guy), so i didnt want to go into explanation of medical application, and stuff.... next the guy asks "so how long till you get your nursing degree?"... nothing wrong with nurses... But i felt weird that this was literally his only guess.... seemed weird. So i politely said that i was going to start medical school to be an MD.... he never talked to me again. I actually noticed that a lot of guys reacted negatively. But there were also guys who wouldnt give me time of the day before, and now are talking to me... So I guess in personal life it just depends on the goals and attitudes of the potential partner.

I’m not going to derail this thread completely, but I’ve seen what you’re saying more than once on these boards...guys not wanting to date a woman going to medical school or who is a doctor, for whatever reason.

I just want to come here and say that there are men out there who would be thrilled to have a doctor significant other, and not because of the potential money or the benefits to their own lives you could provide. They are attracted to strong, smart women who are willing to work hard for their goals. It might seem like they’re not out there, but they are, so don’t lose hope.

 

[Lucca]

Family members and friends are usually rly supportive and then follow it up with “so...when are you done with school?”

I tell them that question is too hard and if they have an easier one

 

[Hass_Love_Fitness]

I’m not going to derail this thread completely, but I’ve seen what you’re saying more than once on these boards...guys not wanting to date a woman going to medical school or who is a doctor, for whatever reason.

I just want to come here and say that there are men out there who would be thrilled to have a doctor significant other, and not because of the potential money or the benefits to their own lives you could provide. They are attracted to strong, smart women who are willing to work hard for their goals. It might seem like they’re not out there, but they are, so don’t lose hope.

It's been crazy with the amount of guys trying to come onto me lately. I only told my direct neighbors that I'm going to med school because they were doctors that I shadowed, but news spread like wildfire. I've had to switch the times I work out, and even this morning some guy asked me if I wanted to go do yoga in his apartment. I wear my wedding ring at the gym and these are the same guys that see me out with my kids and husband.

 

[Deecee2DO]

100% get treated differently. I went to an ENT a week ago and after the front desk found out I was a med student (the doctor asked what I do for a living during my visit so I told her) they waived my co-pay and all were like “omg youre going to be a doctor, dont forget this face when you graduate-were going to waive your co-pay”. And yes to what goro said they automatically ask you medical advice no matter where you are in training even if you are a rising M1.

 

[Goro]

so this one guy (potential date) asked me what i was doing for work. I told him I am in healthcare field (i work in addiction treatment facility) and i am starting graduate school in the fall.... The guy is a welder, has associate's degree (nothing wrong with that, nice guy), so i didnt want to go into explanation of medical application, and stuff.... next the guy asks "so how long till you get your nursing degree?"... nothing wrong with nurses... But i felt weird that this was literally his only guess.... seemed weird. So i politely said that i was going to start medical school to be an MD.... he never talked to me again. I actually noticed that a lot of guys reacted negatively. But there were also guys who wouldnt give me time of the day before, and now are talking to me... So I guess in personal life it just depends on the goals and attitudes of the potential partner.

As a whole, Americans feel threatened by intelligent women

 

[Deecee2DO]

I would say I certainly have felt this since becoming accepted into medical school. The best examples I have is when family friends or coworkers learn that I am attending medical school this fall and kind of react differently towards me in a way that all the sudden I am now more prestigious, when in reality I have not changed, only been accepted. I work as a nurse assistant currently, and even some of my patient who ask if I am going to do something related to medicine as a career all the sudden react differently around me when they find out I am heading to medical school. I have had many instances where patients will introduce me to family and state I am going to be a doctor when I was never treated as such before they knew that. Heck I have had many times when patients or family members of patients will try to set me up with their daughters or granddaughters because the assume I will have money someday. It has gotten to the point where I often don't come out and say medical school anymore unless they truly dig for more information, I will just typically say I am heading to "Graduate school". For me it is uncomfortable how much weight is still put now a days on the status of becoming a medical student, when in reality we are all the same person as the day before we were accepted, and I don't feel like our worth should be derived as such.

I am curious, has anyone else experienced these kind of reactions? I do understand people who are close will be happy for me and interested in the process, but to have other people ask me if I am single, or to go on a date with their daughters is a little much.

And if you do get this attention what is your approach to handling or even minimizing it?

“Does your daughter have insta?”

lol In my experience all of the times Ive been approached about some mom trying to set me up with their daughter there usually is a reason why their daughter is single in the first place. High quality women dont have their moms setting them up with men for non-religious reasons IMO

 

[Peter Pan.]

so this one guy (potential date) asked me what i was doing for work. I told him I am in healthcare field (i work in addiction treatment facility) and i am starting graduate school in the fall.... The guy is a welder, has associate's degree (nothing wrong with that, nice guy), so i didnt want to go into explanation of medical application, and stuff.... next the guy asks "so how long till you get your nursing degree?"... nothing wrong with nurses... But i felt weird that this was literally his only guess.... seemed weird. So i politely said that i was going to start medical school to be an MD.... he never talked to me again. I actually noticed that a lot of guys reacted negatively. But there were also guys who wouldnt give me time of the day before, and now are talking to me... So I guess in personal life it just depends on the goals and attitudes of the potential partner.

It depends on the person. But sometimes men will feel intimidated or emasculated about their partner being in med school. Or sometimes people don’t want to date someone who will be constantly busy. Men like that suck. Honestly it was pretty sexist of him to assume you would be a nurse.

 

[getdown]

It depends on the person. But sometimes men will feel intimidated or emasculated about their partner being in med school. Or sometimes people don’t want to date someone who will be constantly busy. Men like that suck. Honestly it was pretty sexist of him to assume you would be a nurse.

I don't want to derail the thread, but let's not rush to judgement here. We already know he's probably not the most educated of people, so he's very likely associating what a female "medical professional" to what he normally sees. He just didn't know any better. Now let's flip the script. What if the person he's talking to was actually going to be a nurse and he asked if she was going to be a doctor? Would they then feel slighted they chose a field that's "less prestigious?"

You cannot expect people to always be at your level when you interact with them. This very true when you actually deal with patients. You're going to see people from all walks of life, most being less educated than you. You'll hear them say and ask some really inappropriate borderline offensive stuff and you can't take that personally unless it's a personal attack. Just take it as it is, try to understand where they're coming from and just move on. Labeling people as a sort of "-ist" is counterproductive to you and just gets you all riled up for no reason.

 

[Phoebus Apollo]

^Also not intending to derail the thread, but I want to point out that it’s possible to be sexist or generally prejudiced without intending any harm. I make prejudiced comments and think prejudiced thoughts every day, largely because I’m uneducated in some form. It doesn’t have to mean someone is a bad person. We all do it. When this guy assumed this poster was a nurse, he was, in fact, being sexist. That doesn’t mean he’s a bad dude, but people shouldn’t have to shy away from the fact that it is what it is.

 

[907914]

I make prejudiced comments and think prejudiced thoughts every day, largely because I’m uneducated in some form

This. That is all.

 

[M&L]

I don't want to derail the thread, but let's not rush to judgement here. We already know he's probably not the most educated of people, so he's very likely associating what a female "medical professional" to what he normally sees. He just didn't know any better. Now let's flip the script. What if the person he's talking to was actually going to be a nurse and he asked if she was going to be a doctor? Would they then feel slighted they chose a field that's "less prestigious?"

You cannot expect people to always be at your level when you interact with them. This very true when you actually deal with patients. You're going to see people from all walks of life, most being less educated than you. You'll hear them say and ask some really inappropriate borderline offensive stuff and you can't take that personally unless it's a personal attack. Just take it as it is, try to understand where they're coming from and just move on. Labeling people as a sort of "-ist" is counterproductive to you and just gets you all riled up for no reason.

Yeah , I didn’t feel like that guy was sexist . He actually seemed like a really nice guy . Just narrow minded

 

[jamaica jan sun princess]

As a whole, Americans feel threatened by intelligent women

Based on? Seems like an inaccurate blanket statement to me.

 

[Goro]

Based on? Seems like an inaccurate blanket statement to me.

True life observation

 

[olabrador23]

As a whole, Americans feel threatened by intelligent women

Women are always the smarter one. Who's the actual boss of the house?

 

[M&L]

Women are always the smarter one. Who's the actual boss of the house?

in my house? definitely the cat...

 

[Cornfed101]

As a whole, Americans feel threatened by intelligent women

Well and then women like Elizabeth Holmes kinda ruin things...

 

[pinkowl250]

I come from a medical family, so they haven’t been treating me any differently. It's more like "ayyyye welcome to the club!"

The doctors in the ER at work have been incredibly supportive and happy for me since they've been with me through this whole process. They started explaining more of their medical decision making to me and even quizzing me like "what's your differential for this patient?" or "why did I order a fluid bolus here?" It was very rewarding to finally tell them I'll be attending medical school.

 

[916880]

As a whole, Americans feel threatened by intelligent women

I've always thought you were a little out of touch Goro, and this statement confirms it.

 

[chlorocruorin]

My professor let me skip class once he found out i was interviewing. I hated telling people at the bars/social events when I got asked the stereotypical question as a graduating UG senior “so what are your plans next year”. I usually said grad school. Ppl think you’re really smart lol parents love it. So if you’re trying to close the deal with a partner, you’ll get her/his parents or family’s backings lol. Lastly if you’re still in school premeds will bow down to you. Be Wary

 

[M&L]

I come from a medical family, so they haven’t been treating me any differently. It's more like "ayyyye welcome to the club!"

The doctors in the ER at work have been incredibly supportive and happy for me since they've been with me through this whole process. They started explaining more of their medical decision making to me and even quizzing me like "what's your differential for this patient?" or "why did I order a fluid bolus here?" It was very rewarding to finally tell them I'll be attending medical school.

THis is so great that you have medical family! i do not have anyone in my immediate family, but my cousin is a pediatrician in Russia, and my brother in law is second year resident in IM in New York. so my mom, seeing how hard it is on the spouses, and how tough the work is, spent 2 years of admission cycles trying to talk me out of it... hahahha. She gave up on the third cycles after she realized how much i would be making at the end. (she is not materialistic, she just wants me to have a career where i can support myself without husband, or anyone else). but right now she is incredibly supportive.

My brother in law did start talking to me more. I think my acceptance made me more "legit" . hahahhaa

 

[M&L]

I've always thought you were a little out of touch Goro, and this statement confirms it.

you know, it really depends where you are at geographically. @Goro does have a point. I have a lot of friends from the Army, who live in midwest, and they are not allowed (!!!!!!) to have a higher paying job than their husbands. I actually HEARD a fight that her husband started when she got a promotion... SHe was crying over the phone and saying how she does not deserve him, and how she is a horrible wife, and she is ashamed because she EMBARRASSED her husband... yeah, thats almost exact quote.... i wanted to throw up.... I live on the East Coast in a big city, and of course things are different here! But there are a lot of places like this. You would be surprised.

 

[M&L]

My professor let me skip class once he found out i was interviewing. I hated telling people at the bars/social events when I got asked the stereotypical question as a graduating UG senior “so what are your plans next year”. I usually said grad school. Ppl think you’re really smart lol parents love it. So if you’re trying to close the deal with a partner, you’ll get her/his parents or family’s backings lol. Lastly if you’re still in school premeds will bow down to you. Be Wary

yeah, I was a Learning Assistant this year (general chemistry), and before i even got accepted my professor told my students that i was going through the application cycle.... and i DEFINITELY saw increase in the number of students who came to my office hours ))) they were asking a million questions, - MCAT, prereqs, ECs, etc. I still keep in touch with a few and mentor them a bit... Mostly about stuff that i personally screwed up, and i want them to hopefully avoid.

 

[916880]

you know, it really depends where you are at geographically. @Goro does have a point. I have a lot of friends from the Army, who live in midwest, and they are not allowed (!!!!!!) to have a higher paying job than their husbands. I actually HEARD a fight that her husband started when she got a promotion... SHe was crying over the phone and saying how she does not deserve him, and how she is a horrible wife, and she is ashamed because she EMBARRASSED her husband... yeah, thats almost exact quote.... i wanted to throw up.... I live on the East Coast in a big city, and of course things are different here! But there are a lot of places like this. You would be surprised.

You sound just as out of touch. I have a lot of friends in the Army who brag about being the trophy husband to their smart, successful wives.

“As a whole”, as Goro said, is an incorrect modifer to make about Americans. Your story is in the minority.

 

[M&L]

You sound just as out of touch. I have a lot of friends in the Army who brag about being the trophy husband to their smart, successful wives.

“As a whole”, as Goro said, is an incorrect modifer to make about Americans. Your story is in the minority.

i didnt say IN the army. i said FROM the army, - as in, they have been out for a while.

Yeah, its ok. Goro is out of touch. I am out of touch. Everyone is out of touch. hahahah. got it.

The thing though, - the fact that your experience is different from ours does not make you right, nor it makes you wrong. It is just a different experience.

 

[Moko]

Also, anyone who changes how they interact with you after you get into medical school is not worth interacting with. Thank them for displaying a red flag and get the hell away.

 

[Goro]

I've always thought you were a little out of touch Goro, and this statement confirms it.

Let's see. SDNer joins over a year ago, only makes first two posts today...both with an antagonistic skew. Plus thread hijacking.....That can only do one thing:

And for the rest of you:
:troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll:

 

[M&L]

Let's see. SDNer joins over a year ago, only makes first two posts today...both with an antagonistic skew. Plus thread hijacking.....That can only do one thing:
View attachment 267928

And for the rest of you:
:troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll:

you are reading my mind. probably because we are both out of touch... hahahahhaah

 

[TheIllusionist]

I do notice that the effect is bigger for my blue collar background friends, especially non- Asians and non-Jews. I'm an ORM from a white collar background, so MD is just part of the expected assortment of careers my friends and family tend to pick from. On the other hand, my friends from humbler parental professional status backgrounds, regardless of wealth level (have a friend who is son of millionaire contractor), tend to see a big jumping in dating market value.

 

[916880]

Let's see. SDNer joins over a year ago, only makes first two posts today...both with an antagonistic skew. Plus thread hijacking.....That can only do one thing:

I have my privacy settings on, how do you see my information? Doesn't look like you're a moderator either. Do you have special permissions to bypass someone's privacy settings?

 

[Raryn]

^Also not intending to derail the thread, but I want to point out that it’s possible to be sexist or generally prejudiced without intending any harm. I make prejudiced comments and think prejudiced thoughts every day, largely because I’m uneducated in some form. It doesn’t have to mean someone is a bad person. We all do it. When this guy assumed this poster was a nurse, he was, in fact, being sexist. That doesn’t mean he’s a bad dude, but people shouldn’t have to shy away from the fact that it is what it is.

Maybe he was being sexist. Or maybe he was just playing the odds - depending on how you count them, there's at least 3 million nurses in the US and at most 1 million doctors. So if someone was going to school for some nebulous health profession, odds are much higher that it's nursing rather than medicine.

 

[notretired]

As a whole, Americans feel threatened by intelligent women

As a lowly (male) premed engaged to an attending physician, I would beg to differ. If "felt threatened by" is polite code for "doesn't want to be around a pretentious and condescending person" then sure I guess this applies, regardless of whether said person is a man or a woman.

 

[Moko]

I have my privacy settings on, how do you see my information? Doesn't look like you're a moderator either. Do you have special permissions to bypass someone's privacy settings?

Underneath your icon, it says that you joined on April 3, 2018, and have made 3 posts. I'm seeing 3 posts here in this thread...

 

[M&L]

I have my privacy settings on, how do you see my information? Doesn't look like you're a moderator either. Do you have special permissions to bypass someone's privacy settings?

Dude .. anyone can see it

 

[M&L]

I have my privacy settings on, how do you see my information? Doesn't look like you're a moderator either. Do you have special permissions to bypass someone's privacy settings?

Joined April 3,2018. 3 posts

 

[916880]

Okay, didn't know it was posted there. Thanks

 

[907914]

Joined April 3,2018. 3 posts

Those are messages not posts. I know I have certainly made more than the number of posts it says

Let's see. SDNer joins over a year ago, only makes first two posts today...both with an antagonistic skew. Plus thread hijacking.....That can only do one thing:
View attachment 267928

And for the rest of you:
:troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll: :troll:

They’re not a troll (I have helped them through PMS for application help and they have commented on other threads much more than thrice).

Appears to just be differing view points. Confrontational towards those differing viewpoints, but just differing nonetheless.

 

[M&L]

As a lowly (male) premed engaged to an attending physician, I would beg to differ. If "felt threatened by" is polite code for "doesn't want to be around a pretentious and condescending person" then sure I guess this applies, regardless of whether said person is a man or a woman.

You sound like a great guy ! Your SO is reAlly lucky to have you !

 

[FCMike11]

You told everyone in your gym?

 

[Phoebus Apollo]

You told everyone in your gym?

OP didn’t say that.

For example. I only told ONE person at my job (my supervisor, to explain why i needed to stop working there after this month.) next time I come to work, everyone knows. Lol. It only takes one

 

[M&L]

OP didn’t say that.

For example. I only told ONE person at my job (my supervisor, to explain why i needed to stop working there after this month.) next time I come to work, everyone knows. Lol. It only takes one

yeah... I was at work when i got the call, and ONE CLIENT (addiction treatment facility) heard it.... and texted EVERYONE!!!! so for the next few days EVERYONE who saw me was congratulating me, - other staff member from different locations, patients, ppl i do not even really know. It was both sweet and incredibly embarrassing. So i totally get it.

 

[FCMike11]

I was being the buzkill.

The high after getting is so great.

Starting third year next week and I am just, meh.

 

[ExcitatorySynapse]

I worked in an academic research institution - no one really changed, and I think that's somewhat because basic scientists are not really keen on the clinical side. Actual physicians were supportive and nice and told me to take care of myself. My family takes me a little more seriously than they did before, but they have decided to not mention it to our extended family to avoid their "evil eye" lol.

 

[deomnibusdubitandum]

I'm just applying but people tend to ask me what specialty I want to go into. My response, bariatric proctology.

 

[907914]

I'm just applying but people tend to ask me what specialty I want to go into. My response, bariatric proctology.

My dumb ass read ‘Barometric proctology’ and I wondered “How do you get the scope through the scuba suit?”