Do you kick yourself for being a non-trad?

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doctorold

doctorold

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When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
 
Omg. I could have written this. I am 26 and actually considered med school at age 23. I am still nowhere near taking pre reqs. So much has happened. I was well on my way but I've gotten distracted or burnt out or discouraged. Even now I can't pursue this path again for another 2+ years. Then that'll be an additional 2+ years after that before I could apply and I just don't know. I totally understand what you're saying.

You and others your age are an inspiration to people like me who wonder if it'll be worth it. You can pursue this at any age and that is so encouraging.
 
I was a non-trad and I'm currently a first-year medical student (gosh, it feels good to be writing that after those years of coming onto SDN as a non-trad pre-med!). I also had some regrets, but now in medical school they have completely disappeared, and I wish I could have gained this perspective earlier. Several things:

One, life's about the journey. I know that sounds terribly cheesy, but the further into this process I get, the more I realize it's true. I used to think that med school was the goal; now everyone is focusing on boards and residency, and after that I suspect everyone will be focusing on fellowships. So I've learned that I haven't crossed some sort of finish line, that a finish line doesn't actually exist, and that I've just taken a more "scenic route" to this particular checkpoint, if that makes sense. I did some things before medical school that I'd never have had the chance to do if I went straight to med school from undergrad, and that I will never have the chance to do again. It sounds like you started a family. Those weren't wasted years!

Two, going off that last idea, in hindsight my "medical journey" really began when I made the decision to pursue medical school and began taking those pre-med classes. Before med school I thought everything would begin with med school. I was wrong. Med school is just undergrad on steroids, with a medical twist (at least until third year). So while you may regret that you didn't switch to medicine earlier, you are on the medical path now. It doesn't magically begin the first day of med school.

Finally, when I see some of my 22-year-old classmates, gosh darn it I am SO glad I'm not doing this when I was 22! With years comes a wisdom and maturity that are incredibly helpful throughout this process. They are lovely, lovely people and incredibly talented and focused and will be wonderful doctors, but they don't have the gifts that only time can give. And those gifts are helpful.

I'm not sure if this was helpful or not, but I hope it was. Keep on plugging along. You're already on your way!
 
I initially considered going into medicine 7 years ago (roughly around the same time I created this account) but did not fully commit. Ended up working as an RN for quite some time until the idea of becoming a doctor had resurfaced. Now do I regret not doing this any sooner? Hell No! Had I chosen to pursue medicine 7 years ago, I wouldn't have gotten married and my two beautiful children wouldn't have existed. There are times when you would kick yourself for not getting things done sooner, but you'd have to look at it both ways and see what you have gained in life in return.
 
you know how many times I smack myself because, "If only I did it right the first time!" Especially when my attending is younger than I am or even the same age as me. But then I think back and remember how immature and unfocused I was. Hense why I am a fellow now and not an attening (well at least for the next 6.1 months). But I also think that things happen for a reason. And I can't help to think that if somehow I were to have been accepted into medical school way back when, there was a good chance that I would have failed out and then my chances of being a doctor would be non existant. In addition, I think about my real world experience and how I am able to use that along with my maturity to connect with not only the patient and the families but the nurses, and my attendings as well.
 
doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...

Do I experience this feeling? OH YEA, every day. But it depends on how you look at it. In the beginning I was filled with regret, now I look back and think of how much I've accomplished. And in my case, I learned from a lot of mistakes that I made during undergrad and beyond. I thought about medicine when I was 24; at that time I thought I was too old for it and didn't try hard enough. And here I am years later thinking IF ONLY I had pursued med school when I was 24.
But like I said, you learn from all the experiences you've had. I believe all these experiences makes us unique and will makes us a better physician. My family is full of doctors and my siblings and extended relatives who are in the age range of 21-23 are in med school now. I used to feel old looking at them, but not anymore.

Now I am really humbled at what I've accomplished and soooo ready to start this adventure! So keep your head up!
 
doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...

Trying being late 40's... 🙂 While I wish I knew then what I know now so that I could have made different choices, what I know now will make me an infinitely better physician than I would have been then, so no regrets! You can never catch up with everyone else, but do you really need to in order to be happy with YOU?

Being younger might make things easier in some respects, but overall if you get to practice medicine for 20+ years and you love it then you've accomplished more than most people in most careers. Also, something I've observed and you'll potentially find that you being older patients automatically assume you are much smarter than the early 30 something attending even you as a med student, just don't let it go to your head. 🙂
 
I don't.. I'm 31 noe and therr is o way I could consider medical school before now. I'm w smart woman but I was too immature and lacked confidence to really be successful. I would've failed out had I been a traditional student.

I have had time to be a mother, make mistakes, fail miserably at something and pick myself back up. I am glad to start med school journey now.
 
I regret not taking pre-med classes when I was in undergrad. I was so intimidated by the workload that I stayed away from most of the hard sciences convinced that I was not someone who could manage my time well enough to do well. Well, go figure, now have *found* the time to take the hard science classes while working full time.

However, I am happy that I studied the liberal arts as intensely as I did; learned Spanish as well as I have; and have been a teacher for the time that I have taught. Had I not studied the liberal arts, I am confident I would not be as driven to serve in underserved communities as I am. Had I not studied Spanish, I would not be able to reach as many individuals that I am. Had I not taught in low income urban schools, I would not be able to work with individuals from diverse backgrounds as well as I am. Each of the choices I have made along the line as led me back to medicine with a purpose that I did not have before.
 
Keep your eyes on the prize, and don't like back

doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...
 
doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...

You spent your entire youth doing what you felt like and having what is important in life (a family) without the constraints of a very demanding career. You would only just now be realizing the perks. You may not have had the same family or you may not have the same memories. You will still get to be a physician. It ain't over yet.
 
I'm still pretty young (24), but I still kick myself for not doing better in college and focusing more on my classes.

However, if I had not screwed up in college, I would have not switched my major to comm (which got me focused in health policy), which lead me to being dirt poor and living off of $20 a week for groceries, to getting my current position in hospice (which has given me great perspective). If I had not gotten into palliative care then I wouldn't have felt the call to pursue medicine.

In college I wanted to be a doctor because I knew I was smart and could hack it.

Now I know I am hard working and this is what I need to be doing.

Also, if I was in med school right now I wouldn't have met my fiancé.

Screwing up is what got my head on straight and got me focused to pursue my goals. So yes I do sometimes regret not doing better in undergrad. But I wouldn't take this so seriously and matured as much as I have if I hadn't taken the path I have. I have matured so much since college (even though I'm a baby nontraditional) and am grateful for each experience I've had so far to get me to this spot.
 
Rather than relay my messed up (former) life, I will just describe it as being a really bent key that needed to be whacked and smashed by life a few x's before it would fit into the "lock" that opened the door to medical school. Out of college, I probably would not be the same physician I am becoming now.

However, more to your point, because being an intern sucks so much, my life is rife w/ regret. In that my non-physician life is so out of whack. In a pseudo-biological clock way, I did expect to at least have that sorted out by now. But it is NOT. I'm single, finding it difficult to have a life outside of the hospital, and don't know when/how the prospect to change it is going to happen. I did expect to be married w/ a kid or two. But it's all on hold for now. I don't think I could take any additional "stressors" in my life until I'm an attending.

In the end, I think regrets are just a part of any life. How you let them affect you is what makes the difference.
 
Every now and then I kick myself for failing to knock out the prereqs earlier in life. There have certainly been times (before kids, before job got really demanding) when it would have been easier. But those feelings are shortlived. Instead, I am grateful to have the financial means to undertake this dramatic career shift without imposing too much hardship on my family and to live in a society where going to medical school at a more advanced age is even a possibility.
 
doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...


Yes. I know the feeling, but given the trauma and tragedy and intense and competing responsibilities, it would have been a disaster for me to start sooner.
I've learned to work harder at accepting the things I cannot change.
 
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nope, not at all... "I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22..." 😛

In all seriousness, the answer is still no. I feel like I have taken some (definitely not all) of the opportunities that life has offered, and I have done reasonably well for myself. Medical school is just another one of those opportunities. If I don't give this a try now, I feel like I would kick myself at some point in the future. I'd rather give it my best try than thinking what if later on. It is also a relatively low risk for me to take on. I am single, no kid, no significant dependent except maybe parents later on. The only significant hit I am taking is financial (> $1 mil in the hole with loss of income and medical school cost) before I get to attending status, but even then, I don't feel I need to make that up for it to be "worth it".
 
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doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...

Don't live in regret! I just got my acceptance to my 1st choice school and I'll be 37 when I start next year. I talked to a resident while I was shadowing over the summer who didn't start until he was 39.
I went the post bacc route and took most of classes with 19yo premed freshman and sophomores- sure sometimes you look and them and think "I wish I had my life together at that age" but in the meantime I met my wife and had children. I wouldn't trade my family for anything. If you're happy with where you end up then you should accept the path that took you there was the right one. One last remark- from experience- those feelings of regret are rooted in doubt about your future. Have confidence that you are going to make it and remember that if practicing medicine is your passion you have a long happy career ahead of you.
 
Thank you guys for taking the time to chime in. I really appreciate all the kind words.
 
I do have some regrets like this, mainly because medicine was always the route I wanted to go, but I was easily discouraged by not being a great math student and being told by advisors that I could never even think about medicine unless I was a math genius.

I ended up playing to my reading/writing/analytical skills and went to law school, but specialized in health law so I could at least be close to medicine. Now I'm 26 and realizing that it's possible to go back and do what I always wanted to do, though the road will be more difficult now than it would've been if I focused on med school to begin with. I'll be at least 28-29 before I can apply.

However, I'm grateful for my experiences now and those that I will continue to have and be able to convey in my application once it's finally time to apply.
 
I was semi-premed in college, but also did everything that I thought was relatively interesting to me. I didn't really have a choice but to be a non-trad because of some immigration issues, so I instead went with the science grad school life instead. I was gonna get paid, I'd get to live a semi-independent life in Boston, and I'd get to do cool science! After college, I didn't think I would go back to the pre-med path. At the end of the day, what I was doing (and what I am doing right now) just is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, so I went back to the pre-med route.

In no way do I regret being a non-trad tho. I learned so much the past 2.5 years. I feel more confident in my academics and I have a different mindset now on how to approach studying and learning. More importantly, I actually feel like an adult now. I care more about what's going on around me. I find myself trying to understand issues in the world and develop my own set of values and beliefs. Having to pay for my own rent, bills, and food gives me a real appreciation of what I have. Also, living and volunteering in a big diverse city, and teaching in a big university really exposed me to individuals that I wouldn't have met in the small rich predominantly white community that the liberal arts college I attended was situated in.

I guess my situation is a bit different since I'm on the younger side of the non-trad spectrum. But at the end of the day, think about all that you've accomplished, all that you've been able to do, the family that you were able to nurture. I'm sure those are meaningful in their own ways, and in no way should you think that you wasted years on them 🙂
 
Hmm, I was offered admission into a 6 year BS/MD program when I was a senior in high school but it meant not being able to play baseball in college. Since at the grand old age of 18 I was sure I had the "right stuff" to make it to the big leagues I ofc scoffed at the idea of trading the opportunity to play collegiate baseball for something as "mundane" as a 6 year MD program, lol. Then I got to college and realized I was going to be at best a 2nd or 3rd string collegiate player and have been kicking myself ever since 🙂
 
Not at all, but I'm not someone who wanted to be a doctor right off the bat. I had other professional interests 10+ years ago and I'm glad I did. Got to experience things in my twenties and early thirties that many people never get to do. Some of my best friends now are people I met around the world that I'd never have encountered otherwise.

Being able to look back and trace a long -- but cohesive and personally meaningful -- path towards medicine is incredibly motivating. Medicine itself isn't a endpoint that I feel I should've reached before. It's the catalyst to being able to have the kind of impact I want to have the world around me, an impact I never would've realized I wanted to make if I hadn't had other experiences along the way.
 
This thread certainly speaks to me, and I know all of the feelings you describe, doctorold. I beat myself up for a slightly different reason: I was in medical school, was doing well, and had to leave for health reasons. It's tough to reconcile with those feelings of failure, and now as I gear up to be readmitted, it's especially hard to not toss out the last decade as "wasted time." I've been a teacher during that time, and despite many people telling me that being an excellent educator for 10+ years and helping hundreds of kids could never be categorized as a waste, it's hard not to feel that way when in your heart you wish you were something else. Now married, older, and with a "prior matriculant" stamp on my application, the regret strikes when I remember having it in my hands and losing it.

All of us are going to enter med school feeling like a fish out of water and perhaps a little resentful of being late to the game. Think of it this way: if the young ones wanted to have the same breadth of impact in their lives, they would have to quit their medical careers early and try to do our jobs as well as we did them for a decade or better😉 Don't let those feelings seep in as you train to be outstanding physicians bringing every ounce of your experience to bear!
 
DrESQ said:
I do have some regrets like this, mainly because medicine was always the route I wanted to go, but I was easily discouraged by not being a great math student and being told by advisors that I could never even think about medicine unless I was a math genius.

I ended up playing to my reading/writing/analytical skills and went to law school, but specialized in health law so I could at least be close to medicine. Now I'm 26 and realizing that it's possible to go back and do what I always wanted to do, though the road will be more difficult now than it would've been if I focused on med school to begin with. I'll be at least 28-29 before I can apply.

However, I'm grateful for my experiences now and those that I will continue to have and be able to convey in my application once it's finally time to apply.
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My gosh! SDN does a better job than every single premed advisor I have talked to... Most of these people have no clue...
 
I guess as long as you don't regret it DrESQ it's all good. But how far off it was to advise you that you needed to be good at math!!!! I'm a horrible Asian. I suck at math lol

In fact, I had to start a dopamine drip on a patient, but the order to the nurse was in cc/hr. However, the bag was a certain mg/L of dopamine. I tried some sort of algebra 1x, then called pharmacy to dose it for me! 😛 Add, subtract, multiply, divide. That's about all the math you need!!
 
Gfliptastic said:
In fact, I had to start a dopamine drip on a patient, but the order to the nurse was in cc/hr. However, the bag was a certain mg/L of dopamine. I tried some sort of algebra 1x, then called pharmacy to dose it for me! 😛 Add, subtract, multiply, divide. That's about all the math you need!!
Click to expand...

Lol, I don't know how many times I get calls from pharmacists inquiring about incorrect dosages made by residents. You learn as you go along and become an expert when it's all said and done.
 
Gfliptastic said:
I guess as long as you don't regret it DrESQ it's all good. But how far off it was to advise you that you needed to be good at math!!!! I'm a horrible Asian. I suck at math lol

In fact, I had to start a dopamine drip on a patient, but the order to the nurse was in cc/hr. However, the bag was a certain mg/L of dopamine. I tried some sort of algebra 1x, then called pharmacy to dose it for me! 😛 Add, subtract, multiply, divide. That's about all the math you need!!
Click to expand...

This definitely makes me feel more confident for when I finally apply to and begin medical school. My only regret is that I didn't push a little harder to pursue my interest in medicine, especially given that I excel at science (primarily biology and A&P) and have always had an interest in it. However, I did gain a ton of experience through going the law route, both in what it's like to attend a professional school, learning the concepts of time management, and subsequently, being out in the workforce both while working during law school and post-graduation.
 
@doctorold and anyone else whose feelings of regret are causing them problems... Find 1 hour in your week right now to see a therapist and discuss this stuff. When you get to the interview stage—and you will get there—you'll get many pointed questions about why now and why not then, and if you're somewhat insecure or conflicted about your "path" it will come through. You have to figure out a way to think about it where you can be proud of your past accomplishments and see how everything fits together so that you truly feel you're in the right place at the right time. Besides helping you with interviews, this will help you with your whole life. Also, if you are feeling insecure before getting into med school, wait until you matriculate...it can be a real mindf*ck. And when you start wasting time regretting things while you're in med school, you get behind and into academic trouble really quickly. Please take my advice, from someone who's been in your shoes! Best of luck!
 
W19 said:
My gosh! SDN does a better job than every single premed advisor I have talked to... Most of these people have no clue...
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Premed advisors have no clue. 90% of the people on this forum are future doctors who have recently walked the path and been accepted to med schools. I literally learn everything about the medical school process through anecdotes disclosed by students and professors on this forum.
 
I was given a full ride scholarship along with $5,000 living stipend per year for four years by a top 10 US university based on US News Ranking. Thinking that I have made it to the big league, I didn't care much in college, smoked some substances, and graduated with a B+ average. On top of that, I decided to take a few years off after college graduation to discover myself. My biggest regret is to not give 110% in college and commit to this premed path at an earlier age.
 
Gfliptastic said:
I guess as long as you don't regret it DrESQ it's all good. But how far off it was to advise you that you needed to be good at math!!!! I'm a horrible Asian. I suck at math lol

In fact, I had to start a dopamine drip on a patient, but the order to the nurse was in cc/hr. However, the bag was a certain mg/L of dopamine. I tried some sort of algebra 1x, then called pharmacy to dose it for me! 😛 Add, subtract, multiply, divide. That's about all the math you need!!
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Not to bring down this incredibly inspirational thread, but you're really a doctor and didn't know how to convert units with dimensional analysis? Have you learned since then...? :wow:
 
68PGunner said:
I was given a full ride scholarship along with $5,000 living stipend per year for four years by a top 10 US university based on US News Ranking. Thinking that I have made it to the big league, I didn't care much in college, smoked some substances, and graduated with a B+ average. On top of that, I decided to take a few years off after college graduation to discover myself. My biggest regret is to not give 110% in college and commit to this premed path at an earlier age.
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Don't kid yourself buddy you are not a special snowflake. And I'm sure there were plenty of stoner pre-meds who smoked their cannabis every single day and got better grades, too.

P.S. I have no doubts you will succeed if you stay committed and motivated. Congratulations on your decision and good luck in pursuing medicine
 
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Entadus said:
Not to bring down this incredibly inspirational thread, but you're really a doctor and didn't know how to convert units with dimensional analysis? Have you learned since then...? :wow:
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I was afraid to say it, I guess you got more cojones than me... 😛
 
Like others have said, I don't think I was quite ready when I was younger. I'm sure I could have gotten by and finished ok. But I don't regret the things I've been able to do in the meantime. I've learned a ton and had some great and valuable experiences that I wouldn't give up for anything. I've successfully managed crazy academic, work, commuting, sleep-deprived schedules and that has really boosted my confidence levels. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish in a medical career and feel like I'm in a much better position to do that now.

I think the main thing I regret is not realizing how much my early performance in school (college classes during high school and undergrad) would impact me down the road. I didn't give 100% and it's going to cost me. That and the fact that I want to follow the physician scientist path and go the MD/PhD route, which isn't really gong to be feasible at my age are about the only things I really regret. But I'll still do research one way or another.

So really, deep down, I'm ok with where I am and the path that I'm on.
 
doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...


Sure. I mean. I think if you don't have some regrets you haven't taken enough risks. Or perhaps too many. Whatever. You just need to focus on process. Instead of objectives.

I think the whole worrying about this or that too much is itself a regret machine for all the present moments you're missing out on passing us all by. All the time.

We're on a blue green ball floating through the cosmos man. (hmmmmt. here.) Our vessel just missed a cataclysmic collision with an asteroid. There's new evidence for thousands of these objects floating around in the inner solar system. Some think the impact 10,000 years ago took out all the large mammal species in the Western hemisphere and decimated a previous human civilization and brought our species to the brink of extinction.

So...you..know. Smell some more roses. Or ladies. Get naked. Do drugs. Live it up, man. You're hanging on too tight.
 
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doctorold said:
When I first started thinking about med school I was 26. I thought I was "too old" then to pursue it, and didn't take it seriously. As a result I didn't do so good at school. Now at 39 I find myself kicking myself everyday for all the time (13 years) I wasted.
Of course life interfered. Getting married, and having kids was a distraction for a big chunk of that time, but I could've still done it if I REALLY tried hard enough.
I'm engulfed in regret right now. I was reading a blog post by one of the pre-meds I knew through one of the websites when I started my pre-med classes. He was like one year ahead of me. He's getting ready to finish his orthopedic surgery residency now. I still have 3 semesters before I can even apply to med school.
I know that's not really relevant, and everybody's situation is different, but I waste so much energy getting mad at myself, and replaying the past years in my head over and over again. It's even keeping me from focusing on my current classes.
Do you experience that sometimes? What to do to get over this?
Click to expand...
Doctorold, this is now the second thread you've started recently about your age being an issue. We told you that no one else cares how old you will be as a premed who is shadowing. Even if they did, you have no control over what other people think and say. So forget about them. But you DO have complete control over your own thoughts and deeds. So stop sabotaging yourself. Life isn't a race. The point is to find your passion and live it. Yeah, it would be great if we all had our lives mapped out optimally for us at the age of two. But that's not how it works. And you know what would be even worse than being a premed at age 39? Postponing your dream until age 49 because you have too many excuses for why you can't do it now. Or never going for it at all. Yeah, the only thing you should regret in life is being too chickens*** to even try.
 
Yeah, dude. I dated a guy off and on for about three years. He actually had dropped out of medical school in third year and done a good job of pursuing other dreams, but man that made me feel insecure. I'll never forget the day we were driving along and he turned to me in the midst of my moaning and said, very matter of fact, "You know, if you'd gone for your post bacc when you first told me about this, you'd be in medical school right now."

Effing ouch. But so right.

But you know, maybe it's because of therapy, but it has NEVER COME UP. Not in shadowing, not in research, not in interviews. I'm excited about third year because I'm pretty sure I can outwork any of the med students who have never had a job. I know what my options were and why this is better than them. I'm not naive enough to think that a medical degree is an end goal. I'm so GLAD.

If I could suggest any one thing to anyone thinking of doing a whole post-bacc process, it would be to try to get into therapy. Speak your insecurities to a therapist a billion times. Confront your shame and fear. We all have it. That's the best thing about being a nontrad, btw. You're way more capable of confronting yourself than a young kid is. And you'll be a way better doctor if you can. That's what I believe, anyway.
 
I only kick myself when I compare myself to others.

Just focus on your own immediate and longterm goals/journey and you'll be there soon enough 😉
 
I could not have done this at all as a traditional student. 10+ years ago I still had the worst medical phobia you could ever have. Was embarrassing, but it shaped me as a person.

If I had started back then (assuming I had no phobia), I would have been away when my daughter was little. I probably would have ended up divorced. I would not have learned how to take care of myself because other things would have happened. I would have missed out on some great experiences as well as some really bad experiences, but those experiences shaped who I am as a person. I would not likely have gone to grad school, and because I didn't know what it was like on the patient's end, my bedside manner would have sucked. I would never have taken on that homeless family for 6 months as positive and as negative as that was.

My best friend in medical school is in awe of what I did with my life prior to medical school.
 
I don't have any regrets. I'm 31 now, and I just started a post-bacc program this semester. I've enjoyed the last 8 years since finishing grad school. Life was fun. I had a lot of wonderful experiences. Those experiences made me more confident in my abilities and made me who I am today.

I was worried when I started this that many people would see me as the weird older student, but my experience with traditional students has been the opposite. They generally ask me a million questions about what I was doing before this, what life is like in my 30s, etc. If you make everything about being "old" you'll get that negative energy thrown back at you. Just enjoy the journey and be open to everything.
 
willow84 said:
I was worried when I started this that many people would see me as the weird older student, but my experience with traditional students has been the opposite.
Click to expand...

This a thousand times. I started my post bacc at 34. I never thought I would make friends with 19 year olds but that is exactly what happened. I was taking pre reqs with undergrads and naturally fell in with the premed students. Lots of questions about my being married, having kids, never made me feel like "the weird old guy." Just got my acceptance and will be attending med school with some of them next year!
 
Entadus said:
Not to bring down this incredibly inspirational thread, but you're really a doctor and didn't know how to convert units with dimensional analysis? Have you learned since then...? :wow:
Click to expand...

Not a question of can, but want. When you are an intern, we'll see if YOU have the time to do simple algebra when you are on a busy team w/ a lot of patients and stuff to do! 😛
 
pageantry said:
Yeah, dude. I dated a guy off and on for about three years. He actually had dropped out of medical school in third year and done a good job of pursuing other dreams, but man that made me feel insecure. I'll never forget the day we were driving along and he turned to me in the midst of my moaning and said, very matter of fact, "You know, if you'd gone for your post bacc when you first told me about this, you'd be in medical school right now."

Effing ouch. But so right.

But you know, maybe it's because of therapy, but it has NEVER COME UP. Not in shadowing, not in research, not in interviews. I'm excited about third year because I'm pretty sure I can outwork any of the med students who have never had a job. I know what my options were and why this is better than them. I'm not naive enough to think that a medical degree is an end goal. I'm so GLAD.

If I could suggest any one thing to anyone thinking of doing a whole post-bacc process, it would be to try to get into therapy. Speak your insecurities to a therapist a billion times. Confront your shame and fear. We all have it. That's the best thing about being a nontrad, btw. You're way more capable of confronting yourself than a young kid is. And you'll be a way better doctor if you can. That's what I believe, anyway.
Click to expand...

One of the best pieces of advice in this whole thread!

I went through a year of therapy before I started med school and am grateful I did. I recommend it for every single resident who even jokes about it. I've recommended it for patients in clinic I don't have time to talk about problems with. I'd go as far as to say that it should be a pre-requisite.

The biggest obstacle for ANYONE who is trying to get into med school and through med school is YOURSELF. Make an ally, not an enemy (w/ yourself). And no joke, any "pre-existing" neuroses you have going into med school will only get worse w/ a vengeance!!! So get a better grasp of them while you can!!!
 
I'm 51. If I lived and spoke about the regret, I'd not be posting on here, preparing for the MCAT and applying June 1. I'd be wallowing in what-could-have been rather than accepting and embracing all that is.

Regret has no place in life. You make the best decisions you can at the time with the information you've been given... and then move on. Rafiki once whacked Simba upside the head with a hard nut of some sort.

Simba, "Why'd you do that???" he cried, rubbing his wounded head.

Rafiki, "It doesn't matter. It's in the past."

The only true regret you could possibly be entitled to 😛 is wondering for the next 30 years if you should have tried to get into medical school but did not.
 
Regret is one way of putting it. Let me tell you a little about my non-traditional story...

All throughout high school I was super good at anything relating to computers, specifically programming. When I started college, my family just sort of expected me to pursue computer science. I tried, and my first semester I ended up switching my course load to all theatre classes instead, because I wanted the furthest thing from computers I could get. I only lasted there a semester, then left to take time off to work. After taking a few classes (computer science of course) at CC, I transferred to a different university, and again went in for CS. I knew this would make my family happy, but I just couldn't take the work. Not that it was hard, but I was going through a bit of an existential crisis in that I realized what I really wanted to be doing was helping people. This - the idea of going premed - went over with my family like a lead balloon Like I said, I only lasted there a year.

Now I'm 23 and all of my high school friends are graduating and going into the workforce or grad school. I have nothing to show for my last four wasted years except a decent internship - CS related, of course (I'm not going to lie, it's actually really good for anyone who actually wanted it...which actually makes me feel even worse) - but I hate every day of my life.

I made the decision to go premed earlier this year, and regret beyond words that it has taken me so long. Of course, I'm still in my early twenties, and that is an up side, but I now need to complete my bachelor's degree (which, let's be honest, will take at least 4 more years, possibly longer since I have bills and need to work as much as possible), but I also need to "come out" to my family, as premed. I have always been so scared of not being accepted by them that I've tried to conform my path to their visions for me (and essentially ruined the last few years of my life).

So do I regret being non-traditional? With every ounce and fiber of my being. But the way I look at it is that if I keep standing still and doing nothing, feeling sorry for myself and trying to conform to how other people want to see me, I will just have more lost time on my hands.

Instead I plan on being proactive. I am going to start slow and use this winter semester to just do an EMT certification program, so that I will have job opportunities more aligned with my long term goals, when I do start back to school (as opposed to my internship, where I make sure ecommerce websites stay operational... And do other materialistic tasks that help no one...), and also to give my family the opportunity to try warming up to the idea.

Someday, I hope to not regret it anymore - in my case, I'm the only one to blame...
 
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I think you are being far too harsh on yourself. You're only 23. It's okay. You can't beat yourself up this much and make it through this process as a sane human being. Let it go (let it goooo) now, and I think you'll feel so much better.
 
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