Do You Need Your Classmates to Like You?

[KnuxNole]

Sometimes withdrawing from their social activities can be seen as being stuck up or uncaring. This can generate resentment in some people.

You can't please everyone. Even if it's not true, it's not worth your energy to get each and every person to love you. Just do you.

Also, sometimes there is the quick assumption that withdrawing from one invitation = withdrawing from all future invites. For most people, they are understanding that people are busy, or just don't feel like going out.

I tend to be more on the introverted side and at times like to be a homebody. Sometimes, people can see this as being the same thing(stuck up, uncaring). That couldn't be further from the truth. I love to hang out with friends and peers in addition to not be at home and out and about. However, I wouldn't go out of my way to prove that point. I'd let people figure that on their own.

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[KnuxNole]

The way that you phrase the question just makes me feel dirty. What are the "advantages" of having friends?? For most people, having friends makes them happy. Asking what the advantages are just makes it seem like you only interact with other people if there is something in it for you other than enjoying their company.

Edit: And I know you said that you have a support system outside of school, but I've never heard someone complain that they have too many friends or they are too well liked. You should want to interact and be friends with your classmates because it is enjoyable, not because there is some measurable advantage from doing so.

I'm sure there are disadvantages to being too well liked. Your hand might get tired from all the waving, handshakes and fist bumps.

 

[KnuxNole]

My life was complete before I started school. The only thing that was missing was medicine. So I'd rather spend what little free time I have on my friends and family. I'm not sure why it's so hard for you and others like you (there are so many in medical school, idk why) to understand that.

People understand that. Nobody demands you spend your free time outside of school/work with classmates. However, you can easily spend time socializing at school/rotations and be an overall likable/tolerable person.

 

[tco]

To answer your question, no.

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[Brain Bucket]

Obama's a sexist.

 

[evilbooyaa]

View attachment 179079

Had to google that... what is the original source of giving somebody 10 kgs of onions?

 

[Brain Bucket]

Had to google that... what is the original source of giving somebody 10 kgs of onions?

 

[DermViser]

Honestly, I find it scarier that someone becoming a medical professional thinks a person asking this question is an indication of some kind of disorder. At worst he could be suspected of mild Asperger's. He may have very well merely been musing and chose to make a thread. Seriously, slow down. I know on SDN we love to take every opportunity to climb into someone's ass but really...reality is quite different. doctorjew, I suspect this thread has made you defensive and you don't have to defend yourself to the audience. If your question is genuine, it's been answered above several times and the consensus is that you don't have to be a wooo girl to maintain the respect and camaraderie with other classmates. Just be pleasant. And handsome. Handsome always helps.

Weren't you the one who thought it was a good idea to quiz someone on Acetylcholine in a club and more importantly, thought you weren't a tool for doing so? You're hardly the arbiter on social skills. Both you and doctorjew seem to be in the same pod.

 

[DermViser]

For context in this thread, read this one first, starting on the second page at post #53: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/advice-guidance-to-match-into-dermatology.1056859/page-2

But yes, Doctorjew does sound like a sociopath.

You're should see his other SDN posts. One of my favorites on things that make you mad thread: "Every single mandatory thing in a doctoring course that's not directly related to H&P. Makes me vacillate between blind rage and deep depression..." Bc we all know that doctors only do "doctor" stuff only, and no other BS.

The guy is a one-way train to depression, if he's already thinking like this stuff as an MS-1. These are the same ones who believe that the best doctors are the ones with the highest USMLE Step 1 score and that the person who doesn't give them Honors for breathing, is "malignant".

 

[cyberchicken001]

 

[Anastomoses]

Weren't you the one who thought it was a good idea to quiz someone on Acetylcholine in a club and more importantly, thought you weren't a tool for doing so? You're hardly the arbiter on social skills. Both you and doctorjew seem to be in the same pod.

Guess what...i couldn't care less what you think. You are a resident who should exhibit some restraint and at least a little class on a myriad of occasions when you post but you're a heinous example of someone who can't stfu and just restrain himself. I'm not exactly too impressed with your opinions so the pod you wish to put doctorjew or myself in couldn't mean less.

And yes, I still recommend anyone ask about neurotransmitters when someone tries to pull a fast one. In fact, this is gonna really blow your mind but last week in a club when a guy 10X hotter than you'd ever dream to be offered me a kiss, I asked him to lower his lip so I could exam his oral cavity. And he did. Eat ass, dermviser. Reality sucks for you. I guess some people can't pull off these things. Just sayin'.

 

[DermViser]

Guess what...i couldn't care less what you think. You are a resident who should exhibit some restraint and at least a little class on a myriad of occasions when you post but you're a heinous example of someone who can't stfu and just restrain himself. I'm not exactly too impressed with your opinions so the pod you wish to put doctorjew or myself in couldn't mean less.

And yes, I still recommend anyone ask about neurotransmitters when someone tries to pull a fast one. In fact, this is gonna really blow your mind but last week in a club when a guy 10X hotter than you'd ever dream to be offered me a kiss, I asked him to lower his lip so I could exam his oral cavity. And he did. Eat ass, dermviser. Reality sucks for you. I guess some people can't pull off these things. Just sayin'.

I can't wait till you enter clinicals. Your lack of normal social skills and demeanor will destroy you on the wards. The fact you think what you're doing is normal makes it even more hilarious.

 

[evilbooyaa]

Guess what...i couldn't care less what you think. You are a resident who should exhibit some restraint and at least a little class on a myriad of occasions when you post but you're a heinous example of someone who can't stfu and just restrain himself. I'm not exactly too impressed with your opinions so the pod you wish to put doctorjew or myself in couldn't mean less.

And yes, I still recommend anyone ask about neurotransmitters when someone tries to pull a fast one. In fact, this is gonna really blow your mind but last week in a club when a guy 10X hotter than you'd ever dream to be offered me a kiss, I asked him to lower his lip so I could exam his oral cavity. And he did. Eat ass, dermviser. Reality sucks for you. I guess some people can't pull off these things. Just sayin'.

What the actual ****.

You are cray cray. Regardless of how hot you are, I think you fall in this area of the crazy hot scale:

 

[DermViser]

What the actual ****.

You are cray cray. Regardless of how hot you are, I think you fall in this area of the crazy hot scale:

With gems like these, I think she's off the chart crazy:

"I can't believe you removed the top 10 school thing. I thought it added something of value. You'd almost expect people at lower tier schools to be less intellectually curious."

"I remember being an in-patient for a few days at 16 with a very attractive resident and I'd insist he take my blood instead of the nurse. It just felt nicer."

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/who-absolutely-loves-exams.1036927/

 

[tco]

What the actual ****.

You are cray cray. Regardless of how hot you are, I think you fall in this area of the crazy hot scale:

Ah, the Mendoza diagonal. I have lower standards, so it's more like a log scale.

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[Kahreek]

anastomoses trolling itt

 

[Anastomoses]

With gems like these, I think she's off the chart crazy:

"I can't believe you removed the top 10 school thing. I thought it added something of value. You'd almost expect people at lower tier schools to be less intellectually curious."

"I remember being an in-patient for a few days at 16 with a very attractive resident and I'd insist he take my blood instead of the nurse. It just felt nicer."

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/who-absolutely-loves-exams.1036927/

You have no idea how hard I'm laughing just reading these "gems".

1. I think you're trying to pull an argumentum ad populum on that first example.
2. Just because I'm more open and honest doesn't make me weird.
3. Explain what's crazy about enjoying exams. I'm genuinely perplexed by those who don't. I hear people saying it's stressful...I get it logically, but I expected med school to attract a totally different sort. There are others in that thread who also identify with my feelings on this topic. We feel like it's "game day". It's like the difference between laps at swim practice all week and then the swim meet. duh.

 

[Chipster.]

2. Just because I'm more open and honest doesn't make me weird.

Tell me what's wrong with scanning someone's lips for herpes or an active outbreak? It's just the minimum one should do.

Honesty has nothing to do with it. We could have never known this story (God, I wish that were the case) and you'd still be weird.

I think you're going to have to come to terms with this one, Anasto...

 

[music2doc]

Yeah, a friend told me not to mention this on SDN but again, I was too honest with you guys. And you appreciate it none. Tell me what's wrong with scanning someone's lips for herpes or an active outbreak? It's just the minimum one should do.

WTF....

Also:

Yeah, lady, you're weird. Chipster's right, honesty has got nothing to do with it.


However, I do feel bad that you are getting run over so badly on this thread, so please do give this article a read and, perhaps, things will improve for you: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-tips-socially-awkward-gal/

 

[Anastomoses]

WTF....

Also:

Yeah, lady, you're weird. Chipster's right, honesty has got nothing to do with it.


However, I do feel bad that you are getting run over so badly on this thread, so please do give this article a read and, perhaps, things will improve for you: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-tips-socially-awkward-gal/

Save it for someone who cares. I don't even respect your opinion enough to click your link given that you waited for an all-time low of having a support squad before you made your retort. Sad.

 

[DermViser]

You have no idea how hard I'm laughing just reading these "gems".

1. I think you're trying to pull an argumentum ad populum on that first example.
2. Just because I'm more open and honest doesn't make me weird.
3. Explain what's crazy about enjoying exams. I'm genuinely perplexed by those who don't. I hear people saying it's stressful...I get it logically, but I expected med school to attract a totally different sort. There are others in that thread who also identify with my feelings on this topic. We feel like it's "game day". It's like the difference between laps at swim practice all week and then the swim meet. duh.

No, most people wouldn't be stupid enough to say that someone who goes to a lower ranked school based on USWNR aren't intellectually curious, when the competition in the first place to even get into medical school is so high to begin with, and many people use finances in deciding which school to go to. What you said, is what I would expect from a dimwitted high schooler.

As far as #2 - Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

It's quite obvious you enjoy multiple choice exams, mainly bc of your inability to excel in other areas - mainly your social skills. Like I said, you'll do well on exams (i.e. the first 2 years) but will stumble in the clinical years, when the NBME shelf exam plays a much smaller role in your overall grade

 

[Psai]

"I asked him to lower his lip so I could examine his oral cavity."
I get why you would do that but that is still really bizarre.

 

[evilbooyaa]

Yeah, a friend told me not to mention this on SDN but again,

Is that friend the same one with the lice? If so, she's made up for purposefully infecting you with lice like a plague-infested monster.

I was too honest with you guys. And you appreciate it none.

We're just not willing to give you a pass because you're a girl. You likely act like this in real life too, but people don't call you out on your BS probably b/c you're a girl (and apparently attractive according to n = 2)

Tell me what's wrong with scanning someone's lips for herpes or an active outbreak? It's just the minimum one should do.

There's a difference between looking at their lips and asking them to pull down their lip so you can examine their entire oral cavity. One requires no effort on the part of the person, and the other one makes you look weird as hell. That being said, he was clearly into you b/c trust me, that's a really weird question to ask a guy.

Seriously, there are some times that you act normal, but then you post crap like that and you immediately come off as a huge crazy person.

If you don't want to be called out for being weird on SDN, you have 2 options:
1) Stop being weird (lol, that's not going to happen)
2) Stop telling SDN the weird **** you do.

 

[Anastomoses]

No, most people wouldn't be stupid enough to say that someone who goes to a lower ranked school based on USWNR aren't intellectually curious, when the competition in the first place to even get into medical school is so high to begin with, and many people use finances in deciding which school to go to. What you said, is what I would expect from a dimwitted high schooler.

As far as #2 - Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

It's quite obvious you enjoy multiple choice exams, mainly bc of your inability to excel in other areas - mainly your social skills. Like I said, you'll do well on exams (i.e. the first 2 years) but will stumble in the clinical years, when the NBME shelf exam plays a much smaller role in your overall grade

anyone reading this post of yours can easily see why you're a despicable ass. nicely done. Whatever you think you have on me in terms of social skills is eradicated with your harsh poor communication skills - of that I'm positive. I have that up on you, big time. So relax about my clinical period.

And with your inferior reasoning skills, I think you just tried to correlate enjoyment of MCQs with poor social skills, athletics, and every other skill known to humanity? The number of logical errors I catch you making post after post reminds me so much of that other character...the one who would complain that his residency was in the boondocks and no women are interested. Who was that guy? Was that an alias of yours?

 

[Anastomoses]

There's a difference between looking at their lips and asking them to pull down their lip so you can examine their entire oral cavity. One requires no effort on the part of the person, and the other one makes you look weird as hell. That being said, he was clearly into you b/c trust me, that's a really weird question to ask a guy.

Seriously, there are some times that you act normal, but then you post crap like that and you immediately come off as a huge crazy person.

If you don't want to be called out for being weird on SDN, you have 2 options:
1) Stop being weird (lol, that's not going to happen)
2) Stop telling SDN the weird **** you do.

1. I didn't click the light pen and do a full on exam. I scanned his lips and then thought better of it. Merely said "could you lower your lip first?". It made me smile.
2. Some of you really make a huge fuss out of the smallest little quirks I have. They're benign...chill out already. And if you think it's weird, fine...I can't hold it against you...but abusive hateful speech like that from DermViser whenever he tries to throttle anyone for anything is just so repulsive. Grow up, guy. I don't come to Allo for your hate speech.
3. My lice friend recently did something far more important than protecting me from the whining of SDN antagonists. I'm glad I kept her

 

[Lysinee]

View attachment 179079

 

[music2doc]

anyone reading this post of yours can easily see why you're a despicable ass. nicely done. Whatever you think you have on me in terms of social skills is eradicated with your harsh poor communication skills - of that I'm positive. I have that up on you, big time. So relax about my clinical period.

Frankly, I didn't see much harshness in his post. About the worst thing there was naming your immature responses. I wouldn't exactly call that offensive or unnecessary (although it may have necessarily offended you).

1. I didn't click the light pen and do a full on exam. I scanned his lips and then thought better of it. Merely said "could you lower your lip first?". It made me smile.
2. Some of you really make a huge fuss out of the smallest little quirks I have. They're benign...chill out already. And if you think it's weird, fine...I can't hold it against you...but abusive hateful speech like that from DermViser whenever he tries to throttle anyone for anything is just so repulsive. Grow up, guy. I don't come to Allo for your hate speech.
3. My lice friend recently did something far more important than protecting me from the whining of SDN antagonists. I'm glad I kept her

1. Again... still weird. Additionally, the epidemiology of HSV-1 probably makes this unnecessary being as 80-90% of the population has been exposed and is either actively infected or immune, which most likely includes you. It seems a bit unnecessary to go examining your dates for infectious diseases. Of course, you should be practicing preventive measures for STDs, but that doesn't really require you to be an MD student.... Doing things that require your medical training outside of school/in social relationships is generally weird.

2. I'm sorry that what we have said has hurt you. I hope your residents and attendings come clinical years are like puppy dogs in your lap.

3. Wait... sa'whaaaat?! Your "lice friend...glad [you] kept her"?!? So am I reading b/w the lines properly to understand this as you had a friend and discovered in some way that she had lice, so you then decided to "keep" her around...? Do you usually treat other human beings like pets or objects to be thrown away when no longer convenient?

 

[evilbooyaa]

Frankly, I didn't see much harshness in his post. About the worst thing there was naming your immature responses. I wouldn't exactly call that offensive or unnecessary (although it may have necessarily offended you).



1. Again... still weird. Additionally, the epidemiology of HSV-1 probably makes this unnecessary being as 80-90% of the population has been exposed and is either actively infected or immune, which most likely includes you. It seems a bit unnecessary to go examining your dates for infectious diseases. Of course, you should be practicing preventive measures for STDs, but that doesn't really require you to be an MD student.... Doing things that require your medical training outside of school/in social relationships is generally weird.

2. I'm sorry that what we have said has hurt you. I hope your residents and attendings come clinical years are like puppy dogs in your lap.

3. Wait... sa'whaaaat?! Your "lice friend...glad [you] kept her"?!? So am I reading b/w the lines properly to understand this as you had a friend and discovered in some way that she had lice, so you then decided to "keep" her around...? Do you usually treat other human beings like pets or objects to be thrown away when no longer convenient?

Lol, you missed that thread? It was quite entertaining. I can't find it anymore.

TL;DR - A female friend of hers (un)knowingly had lice and slept in her bed, subsequently transferring the lice. Anasto asked the forum that since her friend was a terrible person, was it permissible to A) tell everyone at the school, B) Cut this friend off from her life forever, or C) Some other stuff I can't remember. I don't know, something like that.

 

[music2doc]

Lol, you missed that thread? It was quite entertaining. I can't find it anymore.

TL;DR - A female friend of hers (un)knowingly had lice and slept in her bed, subsequently transferring the lice. Anasto asked the forum that since her friend was a terrible person, was it permissible to A) tell everyone at the school, B) Cut this friend off from her life forever, or C) Some other stuff I can't remember. I don't know, something like that.

Wow... talk about vindictive behavior! I was about ready to chalk her behavior up to something like OCPD, but last I checked, they usually don't go seeking incommensurate revenge for unintentionally contaminating their bubble!

 

[Anastomoses]

1. Again... still weird. Additionally, the epidemiology of HSV-1 probably makes this unnecessary being as 80-90% of the population has been exposed and is either actively infected or immune, which most likely includes you. It seems a bit unnecessary to go examining your dates for infectious diseases. Of course, you should be practicing preventive measures for STDs, but that doesn't really require you to be an MD student.... Doing things that require your medical training outside of school/in social relationships is generally weird.
3. Wait... sa'whaaaat?! Your "lice friend...glad [you] kept her"?!? So am I reading b/w the lines properly to understand this as you had a friend and discovered in some way that she had lice, so you then decided to "keep" her around...? Do you usually treat other human beings like pets or objects to be thrown away when no longer convenient?

HSV-1 affected 57.7% of Americans tested in a 1999–2004 study.

A fellow student I had become close with slept in my bed next to me one night while full well knowing she had lice. I got it. At first I stopped studying with her and remained distantly polite. After she apologized profusely I got myself cleaned and her as well. Yes, I was highly upset and found her behavior to be awful given that she knew she had lice. I can't imagine walking around infecting people. Stop trying to read into things. Human pets?

 

[music2doc]

HSV-1 affected 57.7% of Americans tested in a 1999–2004 study.

A fellow student I had become close with slept in my bed next to me one night while full well knowing she had lice. I got it. At first I stopped studying with her and remained distantly polite. After she apologized profusely I got myself cleaned and her as well. Yes, I was highly upset and found her behavior to be awful given that she knew she had lice. I can't imagine walking around infecting people. Stop trying to read into things. Human pets?

Per UpToDate:

Healthcare workers comprise a second population at risk for infection with HSV-1. One report found that medical and nursing personnel had a slightly lower prevalence of antibodies to HSV-1 (less than 50 percent) than the general population (80 to 90 percent), making them particularly susceptible to primary infection [20]. In addition, HSV-1 is responsible for nosocomial outbreaks in many hospitals, providing another reason to adopt universal precautions.

Yes, the seroprevalence of the virus itself is closer to 60%, but ~80-90% have been exposed (and therefore have antibodies).

I can certainly understand being upset that she got you infected. That sucks, but your patients WILL get you sick as well. How will you deal with that? Are you going to erect "distantly polite" barriers with your patients as well?

 

[Anastomoses]

Per UpToDate:

I can certainly understand being upset that she got you infected. That sucks, but your patients WILL get you sick as well. How will you deal with that? Are you going to erect "distantly polite" barriers with your patients as well?

Seriously, music2doc? You don't know the difference between trusting someone into your bed and expecting that they won't expose you to something as obnoxious as lice and exposing myself (full well knowing the risks) to patients? It's my fault if I don't wear gloves or take proper precautions. When I palpate anything in clinic I always use gloves and wash my hands (even if the attending is using his bare hands). No one seems to mind.

At least you're able to comprehend why I'd be upset.

Long story short: She apologized, I lectured her on her irresponsibility...and she totally saved my ass last week. So hugs + kisses for her xoxo.

 

[Anastomoses]

I've reached over 1000 messages...why hasn't SDN sent me a cupcake or something cute?

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

Oops

 

[Slack3r]

Your best bet is to put Anastomoses on your ignore list. Best decision I ever made.

 

[Psai]

Your best bet is to put Anastomoses on your ignore list. Best decision I ever made.

I did that and there are all these replies to her posts which is really disconcerting because you have no idea what they're talking about.

 

[Etorphine]

Mods need to ban her IP. Literally all the boards have been lately is her trolling to get attention. Probably not the best use of these boards or anyone's time.

 

[dyspareunia]

OP just give everyone one of these. Instant 10/10 social life.

 

[Anastomoses]

I did that and there are all these replies to her posts which is really disconcerting because you have no idea what they're talking about.

That's a shame. The 3 people I've blocked, I haven't missed even one bit.

 

[evilbooyaa]

Mods need to ban her IP. Literally all the boards have been lately is her trolling to get attention. Probably not the best use of these boards or anyone's time.

Just cause you don't like her doesn't mean she should be IP banned. She's doing her part to keep the forums alive and discussing things (even if it is the weird stuff we end up discussing).

 

[Etorphine]

Just cause you don't like her doesn't mean she should be IP banned. She's doing her part to keep the forums alive and discussing things (even if it is the weird stuff we end up discussing).

You're right. By all means, continue the witty conversation