Doctors with questionable characters

[Wisdomphilia]

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Greetings,

Let me just start by saying,I am in no way a saint😀 nor an I moral police 🙄.It's just that knowing the standards doctors and those in the medical field are held against(eg. background checks),I was taken aback when I found out that a doctor I knew had been sexually molesting his younger sister since she was 3 till she hit puberty.So whiles he was in college as a premed and probably in medical school,it was going on.
I know it is what it is and I am not trying to take matters into my own hands but it does bother me since he was someone I looked up to.
My questions is,I know the admission system is not perfect,but is there a way that people with traits that make them a risk to patients will be "screened" out??..Or it doesn't matter so long as they do not let it interfere with their work at the hospital.

 

[LizzyM]

Unless the applicant has been arrested for such behavior, it is unlikely to come to light during the admissions process. For example, it would be very difficult to identify child molesters in a medical school interview.

There have been some notorious cases that came to light in the past few years of child molestation by physicians. It happens. Health care providers are mandatory reporters of such abuse and should report any suspected child abuse by any perpetrator to the designated authorities.

 

[ppfizenm]

Greetings,

Let me just start by saying,I am in no way a saint😀 nor an I moral police 🙄.It's just that knowing the standards doctors and those in the medical field are held against(eg. background checks),I was taken aback when I found out that a doctor I knew had been sexually molesting his younger sister since she was 3 till she hit puberty.So whiles he was in college as a premed and probably in medical school,it was going on.
I know it is what it is and I am not trying to take matters into my own hands but it does bother me since he was someone I looked up to.
My questions is,I know the admission system is not perfect,but is there a way that people with traits that make them a risk to patients will be "screened" out??..Or it doesn't matter so long as they do not let it interfere with their work at the hospital.

I work with kids like this. They genuinely can be very friendly and funny, smart even. For the most part though if they did this to someone else, somebody did it to them first. Am I saying that everybody who molests was molested? No. Nor am I saying that every person who was molested will become a molester.

That being said I agree with LizzyM. Report any suspected abuse immediately.

 

[Itisneverlupus]

I know what's it's like to uncover a bad skeleton in a closet that belongs to somebody you once looked up to. It sucks a bunch.

However, I don't think it makes him a bad doctor, unless he molests his patients. Btw, any suspected assault, as everyone above posted, please report right away, that is NOT acceptable.

If he is a great physician, look up to him as a physician. You don't need to like him as a person. If it's too tough to interact with him because of what you think every time you see him, then maybe you shouldn't be around him for a while, or you just need someone to talk to.

I understand that it feels kind of like being betrayed, even though nothing happened directly to you. That's understandable.

As I'm sure you know, doctors come in a wide variety of characters, even though they all take the creed. In the end, take what is useful from others, apply it to your trade, and be the best you can be. Maybe others will look up to you, without feeling "betrayed" like you were.

 

[elderjack21]

Physicians aren't more saintly than anyone else in this world. In fact just from my interactions over the last few years in medical school, physicians don't have nearly the respect they did even a generation ago. It is a job (with some unique characteristics). No one does it for free (at least not all the time for free). They all make mistakes. Just people who worked hard enough, sacrificed a ton of time, and made it through to get that degree.

 

[Wisdomphilia]

Thank You for your responses.I found out about this when I was talking about him to his sister.We were basically talking about my application process and it veered off into me talking about how much I admired her brother.
Long Story short,she broke down and confessed to me what happened.It happened years ago when she was 3 and he was 17.He stopped when she hit puberty.
He is currently married with a family of his own and the incident has become one of those "family secrets".I don't think she wants me or anyone to report him even if it is possible.But now the knowledge just sits with me and eats me up sometimes.I can only imagine what she has and is still going through.

 

[Disinence2]

There's some decent medical text books that have been written by their authors in prison....doesn't make the info any less valuable!

 

[jcruiser]

Thank You for your responses.I found out about this when I was talking about him to his sister.We were basically talking about my application process and it veered off into me talking about how much I admired her brother.
Long Story short,she broke down and confessed to me what happened.It happened years ago when she was 3 and he was 17.He stopped when she hit puberty.
He is currently married with a family of his own and the incident has become one of those "family secrets".I don't think she wants me or anyone to report him even if it is possible.But now the knowledge just sits with me and eats me up sometimes.I can only imagine what she has and is still going through.

That's an incredibly sad story. Is she scared of him or has feelings of anxiety towards him? I am not saying you should step into any of this but I would personally disassociate myself from this doctor if it's making you uncomfortable. Keep a look out on the sister though if you know her well. You never know what's going on. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't report him even if you have his sister as proof. What if he's changed his ways and completely regrets all of it. You say he's a very good physician, well we need to keep those. And he's raising a family. I don't know, I just wouldn't call the Feds unless you know there is something currently ongoing.


There are bound to be people like this in the world. They look perfect on the outside but in the shadows they've got serious issues.

 

[Starlightembers]

I work with kids like this. They genuinely can be very friendly and funny, smart even. For the most part though if they did this to someone else, somebody did it to them first. Am I saying that everybody who molests was molested? No. Nor am I saying that every person who was molested will become a molester.

That being said I agree with LizzyM. Report any suspected abuse immediately.

As victims themselves, they deserve treatment and care; however, I also wanted to make it clear that their own victimization does not take away or lessen the fact that what they did was still incredibly violent and criminal. Though I know you likely did not mean to suggest otherwise in saying that, far too many people still see Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse as less severe and thir victims of it at a lesser risk for post-traumatic effects than in cases where the perpetrator is an adult -- despite the fact studies show that, for the most part, the long-term psychological harm is exactly the same Citation 1 Citation 2 Citation 3 -- and many victims are often left with everyone around them invalidating what they went through (saying that it wasn't a big deal, it must have just been exploration, he/she didn't mean anything by it, etc, etc).

You are correct, though, in saying that they are often quite charming and intelligent. I am sure that they would have no issue getting through a medical school interview.

Edit: Sorry if I sounded unnecessarily harsh and defensive in that post. This is just an issue that is close to me. Nothing was meant to be directed specifically at you.

Thank You for your responses.I found out about this when I was talking about him to his sister.We were basically talking about my application process and it veered off into me talking about how much I admired her brother.
Long Story short,she broke down and confessed to me what happened.It happened years ago when she was 3 and he was 17.He stopped when she hit puberty.
He is currently married with a family of his own and the incident has become one of those "family secrets".I don't think she wants me or anyone to report him even if it is possible.But now the knowledge just sits with me and eats me up sometimes.I can only imagine what she has and is still going through.

That is such an awful story, Wisdomphilia, especially the bolded part; sexual abuse is one of the few things that society forces to be the victim's burden. Though, due to the nature of the situation and the gap of time since the abuse actually occurred, you should not report or bring this to light without her permission, I would like to suggest that you assure her that you give him no respect now (even if it's not true), that nothing about what happened was her fault, that she has nothing to be ashamed of and that she has no responsibility to keep this a secret or under the rug if she doesn't want to; she was the victim and he the perpetrator, after all, and it's not her job to protect his feelings. If you are comfortable with it (and only if), also offer to her that, if she ever needs to vent/cry/be with someone, that you're 100% there for her and that she has no need to feel hesitant about coming to you about anything -- ie, it won't make you feel uncomfortable or want to shy away.

As for his role as a physician and as a father, there is, unfortunately, no way to know if he has targeted anyone else. In my limited experience (of one), the person did go on to attempt to attack other girls later on; however, it is also very possible that, in this case, he has not hurt another person that way since he stopped abusing your friend. I know that it can often be a sick, frustrating and helpless situation (what if he is thinking/doing X, Y, Z?!; he shouldn't be able to get away with that, he hurt my friend!; etc, etc); however, unless your friend wants to do otherwise, I think it is best to continue being of support to her and, if possible to do without arising suspicion, distancing yourself from her brother.

I wish you all the luck. If for whatever reason you have a question you don't want to post publicly, feel free to PM me.

Star

 

[blkshrtdynasty]

Greetings,

Let me just start by saying,I am in no way a saint😀 nor an I moral police 🙄.It's just that knowing the standards doctors and those in the medical field are held against(eg. background checks),I was taken aback when I found out that a doctor I knew had been sexually molesting his younger sister since she was 3 till she hit puberty.So whiles he was in college as a premed and probably in medical school,it was going on.
I know it is what it is and I am not trying to take matters into my own hands but it does bother me since he was someone I looked up to.
My questions is,I know the admission system is not perfect,but is there a way that people with traits that make them a risk to patients will be "screened" out??..Or it doesn't matter so long as they do not let it interfere with their work at the hospital.

Adcoms are omniscient. Made me take a piss test that showed I shoplifted Jock Jams vol. 3 when I was 12. Waitlisted.

 

[Wisdomphilia]

That's an incredibly sad story. Is she scared of him or has feelings of anxiety towards him? I am not saying you should step into any of this but I would personally disassociate myself from this doctor if it's making you uncomfortable. Keep a look out on the sister though if you know her well. You never know what's going on. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't report him even if you have his sister as proof. What if he's changed his ways and completely regrets all of it. You say he's a very good physician, well we need to keep those. And he's raising a family. I don't know, I just wouldn't call the Feds unless you know there is something currently ongoing.


There are bound to be people like this in the world. They look perfect on the outside but in the shadows they've got serious issues.

The last thing on my mind is reporting him.I don't think it is in my place to do that.I was just venting about being of aware of something like that.You are right though,I have to disassociate myself.

 

[Wisdomphilia]

As victims themselves, they deserve treatment and care; however, I also wanted to make it clear that their own victimization does not take away or lessen the fact that what they did was still incredibly violent and criminal. Though I know you likely did not mean to suggest otherwise in saying that, far too many people still see Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse as less severe and thir victims of it at a lesser risk for post-traumatic effects than in cases where the perpetrator is an adult -- despite the fact studies show that, for the most part, the long-term psychological harm is exactly the same Citation 1 Citation 2 Citation 3 -- and many victims are often left with everyone around them invalidating what they went through (saying that it wasn't a big deal, it must have just been exploration, he/she didn't mean anything by it, etc, etc).

You are correct, though, in saying that they are often quite charming and intelligent. I am sure that they would have no issue getting through a medical school interview.

Edit: Sorry if I sounded unnecessarily harsh and defensive in that post. This is just an issue that is close to me. Nothing was meant to be directed specifically at you.



That is such an awful story, Wisdomphilia, especially the bolded part; sexual abuse is one of the few things that society forces to be the victim's burden. Though, due to the nature of the situation and the gap of time since the abuse actually occurred, you should not report or bring this to light without her permission, I would like to suggest that you assure her that you give him no respect now (even if it's not true), that nothing about what happened was her fault, that she has nothing to be ashamed of and that she has no responsibility to keep this a secret or under the rug if she doesn't want to; she was the victim and he the perpetrator, after all, and it's not her job to protect his feelings. If you are comfortable with it (and only if), also offer to her that, if she ever needs to vent/cry/be with someone, that you're 100% there for her and that she has no need to feel hesitant about coming to you about anything -- ie, it won't make you feel uncomfortable or want to shy away.

As for his role as a physician and as a father, there is, unfortunately, no way to know if he has targeted anyone else. In my limited experience (of one), the person did go on to attempt to attack other girls later on; however, it is also very possible that, in this case, he has not hurt another person that way since he stopped abusing your friend. I know that it can often be a sick, frustrating and helpless situation (what if he is thinking/doing X, Y, Z?!; he shouldn't be able to get away with that, he hurt my friend!; etc, etc); however, unless your friend wants to do otherwise, I think it is best to continue being of support to her and, if possible to do without arising suspicion, distancing yourself from her brother.

I wish you all the luck. If for whatever reason you have a question you don't want to post publicly, feel free to PM me.

Star

Thank you.I let her know I was there for her.At the same time I try to be "normal" so she doesn't feel uncomfortable for telling me something like that.The situation sucks and I really feel bad for her.

 

[LizzyM]

I just want to be clear that I was not trying to say that the OP should report this long ago accusation. Her friend who was violated as a child is free to report it to authorities although the statute of limitations may have run out. On the other hand, one may be very reluctant to report a sibling, particularly if it is a decade or more after the fact. The counterargument would be that this abuser may be abusing other children now.... it is a very difficult call to make.

That said, if you think that a child is being abused now, or has been abused recently, there is a moral obligation to report it to the proper authorities and for some professions a legal obligation to report.