EM Interview Archetypes

[Arcan57]

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Thinking about Birdstrike on the interview trail gave me flashbacks. While it's been a while, there were definitely themes to my fellow applicants that seemed to stay relatively constant regardless of actual program geography, perceived competitiveness, etc. I'm going to start the list but I'm sure there are people more proximate to the experience that can help the MS4 class with what to expect.

1. The Bushman - known by their distinctive facial and scalp plumage, deep tans, and aversion to wearing shirts that extend past the elbow this applicant will make you wonder how the hell they ever got into medical school let alone an interview. While wearing a short sleeve plaid button down and cargo pants would be suicidal for you, the bushman pulls it off by having multiple advanced degrees, amazing stories about places you can't even pronounce, and a complete lack of f%^$ given that is irresistible to both admission committees and the ladies.

2. The Road Warrior - typically female but can be of either gender. This applicant has a story of travel woe that makes Dante's journey seem like going out to check the mail. Although the details vary, canceled airplane flights, snow bound roads, having to buy a completely new interview outfit that morning, and knife-fighting a horde of rats to gain entrance to the subway are common themes. A critical feature is that this applicant is indistinguishable from their peers on visual inspection. This is the easiest persona to adopt if you feel you need to borrow a personality for interview purposes as it just requires an unverifiable story.

 

[Angry Birds]

Wait, so are these good personas to be, or bad ones? In terms of getting selected?

 

[engineeredout]

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/interviewees

 

[Arcan57]

Wait, so are these good personas to be, or bad ones? In terms of getting selected?

They just are. The comment on impersonating a Road Warrior just reflects my deep suspicion of humanity and the stories we tell.

 

[Birdstrike]

Thinking about Birdstrike on the interview trail gave me flashbacks. While it's been a while, there were definitely themes to my fellow applicants that seemed to stay relatively constant regardless of actual program geography, perceived competitiveness, etc. I'm going to start the list but I'm sure there are people more proximate to the experience that can help the MS4 class with what to expect.

1. The Bushman - known by their distinctive facial and scalp plumage, deep tans, and aversion to wearing shirts that extend past the elbow this applicant will make you wonder how the hell they ever got into medical school let alone an interview. While wearing a short sleeve plaid button down and cargo pants would be suicidal for you, the bushman pulls it off by having multiple advanced degrees, amazing stories about places you can't even pronounce, and a complete lack of f%^$ given that is irresistible to both admission committees and the ladies.

2. The Road Warrior - typically female but can be of either gender. This applicant has a story of travel woe that makes Dante's journey seem like going out to check the mail. Although the details vary, canceled airplane flights, snow bound roads, having to buy a completely new interview outfit that morning, and knife-fighting a horde of rats to gain entrance to the subway are common themes. A critical feature is that this applicant is indistinguishable from their peers on visual inspection. This is the easiest persona to adopt if you feel you need to borrow a personality for interview purposes as it just requires an unverifiable story.

3. The Über Non-Traditional, Non-Trad

This unstoppable applicant is armed for 21st Century interviewing with every PC weapon know to man/woman. This person is/claims to be of a race, orientation and/or marital status so sympathetic and non-traditional, even their gender/lack-thereof defies even the most cutting-edge left-wing definitions. For example, if an über non-trad applicant matches up against a competing applicant that is, let's say, transsexual, this applicant can one up even that. This applicant my volunteer, for example, the he has made a gender transition, yet unlike any other applicant, has transitioned back and is the only applicant to have seen both sides, lived as both genders and sex changed back. Your board scores and letters will not be enough, to defeat this applicant's PC-cloak of invincibility. Just declare defeat and move to your #2.

 

[el_duderino]

I...... am bookmarking this thread.

 

[carbonizedeyesockets]

The Typical - Born and raised in suburbia and attended private school. Boring life made more interesting by their parents deep pockets and free time owing to a lack of a ever having had to work a full time job. A parent is a doctor and a sibling too, oh yeah, and an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, and a grandfather and great grandfather. The only job ever had was during some summer during undergrad and the "gap year" taken to "do research". The only time they ever interact with someone not like them is in the hospital or on some medical aid trip to some country with people on which they take pity (with the added bonus of looking good on a resume.) Bland taste in music, sports, food, art, cars, clothes, etc. Greatest talent is BS'ing to make themselves sound like such a hard worker when really everything was handed to them on a silver platter including their own birth (planned c-section).

 

[Doctor Bob]

5. The... ummm... which one was he again?

This is the guy... or wait, was it a woman? I don't remember. They wore a black suit, and smiled a lot, and seemed excited to be here. They made sure to always ask one somewhat vague question every time one of us asked "does anyone have any questions". And I think they went to a school in the midwest.... southeast?... no wait... California. And I think they were in the EM interest group. I don't really remember much else about them. They probably looked good on paper which is why we interviewed them... but can't for the life of me remember them from interview day. <shrug> I guess we'll put them on the rank list... somewhere near the bottom.

 

[dotcb]

The global humanitarian - started, operates, may even refer to themselves as CEO of a global nonprofit that does aid work in X region or X disease. They may have one or two master's degree, and reading their CV makes you wonder if they've given a TED Talk... "While taking care of drunk people and assessing ankle pain in the ED does interest me, my 10 year plan is to eradicate X disease from X region." They will typically have lots of questions about elective time, sponsored travel, and the strength of global health in the residency.

The stepping stone - Their personal statement is FILLED with narratives and demonstrations of their commitment to hobby/pastime X (biking, rock climbing, hiking, wine activities, it could be almost anything.) They may have done the activity professionally, had a college scholarship for it, etc. It is their main event. They will feign interest in academic activities, but you can usually get them to say "I can see myself working in community practice." Their 10 year plan is 4 EM shifts/month, and the rest of their time filled with their pastime X.

 

[Perrin]

6. The 'ladies man' or douche-canoe

This guy is appears to be a regular candidate during the interview, but his true self comes out at the after interview social function. His idea of business casual dress is if 'business' were the worlds oldest profession and he'd like to casually ask you back to his hotel room to watch Netflix and chill. You think to yourself that maybe one of the folks off Jersey Shore actually made it to med school. In conversation, he tries to be one of the guys, unfortunately he considers guys to be his fraternity's freshman pledge class. He mentioned that he likes to travel, but when asked where he's traveled, it sounds like the film sets of MTV's Spring Break. His stories of med school revolve around picking up chick by mentioning that he's going to be a doctor. When asked about some of the other places he's interviewed, he'll give a bland reply, but be sure to mention this one program where this "hot chick resident was totally digging on me, but I didn't hook up with her in case I matched there and didn't want it to be weird." By the end of the gathering, you are his 'bro', he's hinting that he wants to get away from this lame gathering, and go pick up some college chicks at the off campus bar.

When the residents review the applicants for the rank list, he's summarily booed and you suggest adding a section on 'sexual history' to the application form.

I think I might have interviewed Jdh? Just kidding.

 

[Arcan57]

The Slummer is recognized by his condescending attitude towards everyone below PD level. Whether interviewing for EM as a safety spot if they don't match in Neurosurgery or ENT or having more first author publications then everyone but the chair because they were fortunate enough to mentor under a PI that no longer needs first author publications, the Slummer is not afraid to demonstrate their intellectual superiority at all times. Whether it's walking away when the chief resident is addressing the entire group of applicants or checking out midway through interviews with junior attendings, the Slummer is counting the seconds until they can wash off the stench of this program and the slum hole of a city that surrounds it. While acknowledged by everyone as unpleasant, their gargantuan CV and gaudy numbers make them very attractive to PDs trying to up their prestige factor. Their natural enemy is the program coordinator.

 

[emd123]

Gunner with honors and perfect scores, that is such an intolerable jerk he matches nowhere

 

[Thought Crime Spree]

The "oh, you're applying EM??"

This applicant's classmates all thought he was applying path or maybe IM, but there he is interviewing EM. Wearing a bow tie and thick glasses he brings up statistical analysis and makes physical chemistry analogies in casual conversation. His hobbies include Pokemon and math and his undergrad degree was in engineering. His total lack of social skills are eclipsed by his USMLE scores which were the highest recorded for the years he took the exams.

 

[Birdstrike]

The Cowboy Tool - sometimes alternately referred to as: Crouching-Cowboy, Hidden Douche-Dragon

This guy talks a great talk, and appears to have All The Right Moves like Tom Cruise in Top Gun (even down to winking at people and pretending to shoot a fake finger-thumb gun, and raising the hand to his mouth to mimic blowing the smoke off of the barrel of the gun, ie, index finger). A classic gunner-tool that comes to interview day with procedure logs showing he's done more perimortem c-sections (all babies and moms lived, btw), ER thoracotomies, cric's, lateral canthotomies and wilderness burr holes than the residency attending staff combined. All the other interviewees tremble while talking to him and lose all confidence. However, Crouching Cowboy Hidden Douche Dragon turns to a bucket of tears during interviews, when asked to add 2 plus 2 in the dark, and to fight his way out of a Velcro-sealed paper bag. He breaks down and confesses that his advanced procedures were actually all performed on Minecraft on his phone, not in real life.

This critter is not a rare, magnificent unicorn. He's as common as bacon pig and is seen all over the interview trail searching for his shining residency on a hill. Though feisty and annoying like a wasp with a stinger with venom, he's actually as harmless but scrappy, gnat. Just ignore him and he loses all (minimal) powers. Be forewarned not to overlook his one critical skill of being able to fetch Starbucks and delicious ethnic food in terrible cities where no one was sure there was any. This is not to be forgotten when filling the bottom-backup portion of the rank list, and is certain to allow him to scrape by and match at a mediocre program in a God forsaken location. In the end, this skill saves him, and he's in. ("High five!")

 

[Arcan57]

Your post brings back memories of the sweet taste of freedom that was picking up Chinese food on L&D call as your brief respite from 36 hrs of cervical checks on teenagers who had 3 kids and twenty year olds that didn't speak the language. Bonus points for when they pulled you over to the gyn side to see vag d/c on someone that may or may not have active TB. Yeah, food runs were pretty great.

 

[Birdstrike]

Your post brings back memories of the sweet taste of freedom that was picking up Chinese food on L&D call as your brief respite from 36 hrs of cervical checks on teenagers who had 3 kids and twenty year olds that didn't speak the language. Bonus points for when they pulled you over to the gyn side to see vag d/c on someone that may or may not have active TB. Yeah, food runs were pretty great.

Your post gives new meaning to "moo shu chicken."

 

[Malignant Fibromyalgia]

I am reminded of the applicant whose nervous tick was rolling the front of his pants between his fingers. It essentially looked like he was masturbating the entire interview day.

 

[EDParallax]

I am reminded of the applicant whose nervous tick was rolling the front of his pants between his fingers. It essentially looked like he was masturbating the entire interview day.

Or... he was masturbating the entire interview day.

 

[Dredge]

Or... he was masturbating the entire interview day.

Uh, I was just trying to relax, you guys...gawd!

 

[Chir0nex]

I am reminded of the applicant whose nervous tick was rolling the front of his pants between his fingers. It essentially looked like he was masturbating the entire interview day.

Now I'm imagining this poor guy going through surgery rotation trying not to break scrub every time he gets pimped.