Everyone getting into state schools but me. Finding peace?

[I Love Cats]

---

Members do not see this ad.

First off, I'm so excited and grateful that I will be attending a great U.S. M.D. school next Fall! Yes! Talk about blessed! Despite this, literally. every. single. person. I closely know from my undergraduate career who I applied with this cycle (5, FIVE, friends of mine) were accepted into my top choice, a state school that did not hesitate to reject the hell out if me so early in the cycle that it felt like an entire committee's worth of middle fingers had been waiting to be stabbed into my heart. I was a re-applicant this year. My application and interview were mediocre last year, and I at least ended up in waitlist purgatory post-interview. I even had a pleasant 30 minute 1 on 1 with the dean of admissions over summer afterward! I changed everything, learned a ton and was on my game this year, and yet I was murdered and cremated post-interview this year.

Despite my sincere appreciation for my acceptance and having that "Oh my gosh I'm going to be a physician!" sensation, as more and more of those I very personally know, seemingly with ease, walk through the doors of this state school, I become more uneasy and more and more lose my sense of triumph. On top of this, since I was a reapplicant this cycle, and have been a dedicatedly neurotic SDN member, with an enormous amount of information about the process (more than someone not on an admissions committee should know really), I actually mentored/ taught a few of these individuals, which makes it all the more internally complex. Between the 5 I referenced and myself, while we are all unique, there is truly not a vast difference between us other than demographics, SES and background. They (I wish "we") are all deserving though in my mind.

I am interested in the insight and wisdom of this anonymous community about how to process this all and find peace as I attempt to victoriously move forward, because like I said, some days I am quite bothered.

 

[solitarius]

^ which state school?

 

[darklabel]

Its hard. I got waitlisted at one of my top choices as well after I interviewed and won't hear back until at least May 15 and then theres an unranked list. Like you, I am grateful for my acceptance, but I'm sure it stings more for you since all 5 of your friends made it except you. I'd say update the school often and try to get yourself off the waitlist. If it doesn't work, well you'll get over it once MS1 starts around and you're in the full swing of things

I'd say the best way to cope is to think theres a chance until you're rejected. It'll help with the psyche in the mean time. And avoid the school thread at all costs! Seeing others getting in hurts after interview and you know you're waitlisted so no need to rub the wound by just reading how others were accepted over you.

Good luck!

 

[I Love Cats]

Oh, I was completely rejected already. Thank you though! And I will not mention the school.

 

[Microglia]

Oh, I was completely rejected already. Thank you though! And I will not mention the school.

It can be tough OP. Unfortunately, sometimes a school just doesn't want you. My advice is to stop comparing your story to that of others. Each of us have a role to play and the bottom line is you will be a physician. I would focus now on the idea that you can be whatever kind of physician you want, and spend my time relaxing and enjoying the certainty of a promising future career. If you don't kill the premed neuroticism before med school starts, it will only get worse I'm afraid..you will see what I mean in time by observing your peers.

Congrats OP, you deserve a drink and a heck of a spring semester!

 

[taffer]

Statistically speaking, often times getting in at an out of state school is a much more difficult feat than gaining acceptance at a state school. You should be proud of that accomplishment if nothing else.

 

[Pacna]

I'm sorry that you are so troubled by this, but I can relate. I work with 4 people who applied to my state school and got in. I got into an OOS school and was waitlisted at my state school (my top choice as well). I don't know how I feel about it, really. It doesn't feel good, to be sure, but it's not as bad as a rejection like you got.

I think it's always going to be bittersweet. Some things in life are like that. Not all victories are clean or ideal like in the movies. Hell, there are people who match into specialties they didn't even really want to go into! I mean can you imagine?

It's going to suck particularly worse this year as you wait for school to start, but start it will. Then you will move on and forget about it most days. You'll still remember and get that bittersweet feeling from time to time in the future, but it will become rarer and rarer until you're attending and nobody, including yourself, even cares anymore.

Too serious for SDN, I know. Going to bed now. 😴

 

[3838]

First off, I'm so excited and grateful that I will be attending a great U.S. M.D. school next Fall! Yes! Talk about blessed! Despite this, literally. every. single. person. I closely know from my undergraduate career who I applied with this cycle (5, FIVE, friends of mine) were accepted into my top choice, a state school that did not hesitate to reject the hell out if me so early in the cycle that it felt like an entire committee's worth of middle fingers had been waiting to be stabbed into my heart. I was a re-applicant this year. My application and interview were mediocre last year, and I at least ended up in waitlist purgatory post-interview. I even had a pleasant 30 minute 1 on 1 with the dean of admissions over summer afterward! I changed everything, learned a ton and was on my game this year, and yet I was murdered and cremated post-interview this year.

Despite my sincere appreciation for my acceptance and having that "Oh my gosh I'm going to be a physician!" sensation, as more and more of those I very personally know, seemingly with ease, walk through the doors of this state school, I become more uneasy and more and more lose my sense of triumph. On top of this, since I was a reapplicant this cycle, and have been a dedicatedly neurotic SDN member, with an enormous amount of information about the process (more than someone not on an admissions committee should know really), I actually mentored/ taught a few of these individuals, which makes it all the more internally complex. Between the 5 I referenced and myself, while we are all unique, there is truly not a vast difference between us other than demographics, SES and background. They (I wish "we") are all deserving though in my mind.

I am interested in the insight and wisdom of this anonymous community about how to process this all and find peace as I attempt to victoriously move forward, because like I said, some days I am quite bothered.

I feel you. I think everyone has these types of feelings about this process in general at some point. If I get rejected from my top choice, this is what I will tell myself: I want to be a person who is strong and resilient. A person able to pick herself up and face whatever comes at her. Medicine is a field where I will face some serious decisions and some serious situations. Thus, I really value the quality of resilience. Letting a rejection roll off my back is showing resilience. In the end, I will be a doctor and I will face much more than this. I find strength in that. There is strength in facing rejection. That is something to take pride in. As long as you haven't rejected yourself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I don't even know if that makes sense. But, it makes me feel better when I act in a way that is concurrent with the person I want to be.

 

[sourdoughllama]

First off, I'm so excited and grateful that I will be attending a great U.S. M.D. school next Fall! Yes! Talk about blessed! Despite this, literally. every. single. person. I closely know from my undergraduate career who I applied with this cycle (5, FIVE, friends of mine) were accepted into my top choice, a state school that did not hesitate to reject the hell out if me so early in the cycle that it felt like an entire committee's worth of middle fingers had been waiting to be stabbed into my heart. I was a re-applicant this year. My application and interview were mediocre last year, and I at least ended up in waitlist purgatory post-interview. I even had a pleasant 30 minute 1 on 1 with the dean of admissions over summer afterward! I changed everything, learned a ton and was on my game this year, and yet I was murdered and cremated post-interview this year.

10/10 would read again LOL

But hey OP, in all seriousness, when I have those sorts of thoughts, here's what helps me out:

1- I feel bad that I didn't get into schools my friends got into partly because I feel inferior, but chances are, if they're your friends they're not gloating on the inside
2- To put things into perspective, getting into a US MD schools is more of an accomplishment than most people will ever achieve - you've already accomplished a lot; why get bothered by the 0.01% further you could've gone?
3- Branching out is cool 😎

 

[darklabel]

Oh, I was completely rejected already. Thank you though! And I will not mention the school.

Sorry to hear 🙁

 

[sniderwes]

Its ok, sometimes selections are really random. Someone I personally know got a full scholarship to WashU, but got rejected from our state school.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

Seriously, we have empathy for this? Christ, you'll be a doctor. Grow up. Rejection happens.

 

[LuciusVorenus]

First off, I'm so excited and grateful that I will be attending a great U.S. M.D. school next Fall! Yes! Talk about blessed! Despite this, literally. every. single. person. I closely know from my undergraduate career who I applied with this cycle (5, FIVE, friends of mine) were accepted into my top choice, a state school that did not hesitate to reject the hell out if me so early in the cycle that it felt like an entire committee's worth of middle fingers had been waiting to be stabbed into my heart. I was a re-applicant this year. My application and interview were mediocre last year, and I at least ended up in waitlist purgatory post-interview. I even had a pleasant 30 minute 1 on 1 with the dean of admissions over summer afterward! I changed everything, learned a ton and was on my game this year, and yet I was murdered and cremated post-interview this year.

Despite my sincere appreciation for my acceptance and having that "Oh my gosh I'm going to be a physician!" sensation, as more and more of those I very personally know, seemingly with ease, walk through the doors of this state school, I become more uneasy and more and more lose my sense of triumph. On top of this, since I was a reapplicant this cycle, and have been a dedicatedly neurotic SDN member, with an enormous amount of information about the process (more than someone not on an admissions committee should know really), I actually mentored/ taught a few of these individuals, which makes it all the more internally complex. Between the 5 I referenced and myself, while we are all unique, there is truly not a vast difference between us other than demographics, SES and background. They (I wish "we") are all deserving though in my mind.

I am interested in the insight and wisdom of this anonymous community about how to process this all and find peace as I attempt to victoriously move forward, because like I said, some days I am quite bothered.

Ha. Come to California. 60% of our premeds end up having to go out of state - and we have A LOT of premeds. You're definitely not alone.

 

[lobo.solo]

This sucks OP. Allow yourself to be upset, conflicted or whatever it is that you feel... And then move one. Enjoy this time you have and look at the big picture; you are going to med school and will become a doctor f*ck anything else.

 

[Narmerguy]

I can understand how you feel, but believe it or not, no one will care in a couple of years when everyone is engrossed in their medical education. Try to focus on doing well and ensuring that you have better luck with residency.

 

[DokterMom]

Sounds like whatever random person was chosen to review your application didn't like something they read. Read it the wrong way, had a bad day, were tired and bored and cranky, saw you were a re-applicant, maybe just knew some jerk with your same first name and that was all it took... Life's not fair.

But you're going to medical school!

Someone else at another school saw your same application and decided that out of the 5,000 applications they received, yours was one of the 300 best. Clearly a much more insightful reader, yeah? This is the opinion you want to remember --

 

[NorthernMav]

Pfft.. my state school rejected me twice. This does not surprise me considering we only have one and all they want is ivy league college grads and 3.9+/35+ students to raise their stats (Umass).

 

[sazerac]

Bah. Medical schools are like women. You focus and try real hard with one and she will reject you anyway. It's called "one-itis". Just put yourself out there and see who is interested in you and run with that.

I can totally relate to the OP, as I spent 3 years crafting an application aimed at one specific med school and I was rejected fast and hard. But I got in somewhere that wanted me, and I'm having a blast.

And in 2.5 years imma be a doctor.

 

[EMDO2018]

OP dude I know exactly how you feel. My state school continues to let in legacies and people with 23 MCATS, but I couldn't even get in with a much better MCAT. I just said F em. I do agree with the guy who said applying to med school is a lot like dating women. You never know what kind of arbitrary criteria they have, you should cast the net far and wide and hope a few like you. The entire process in humbling.

 

[Nymphicus]

I didn't get into any of my state schools that I applied to for college or medical school.

Oh well.

 

[LostinLift]

it felt like an entire committee's worth of middle fingers had been waiting to be stabbed into my heart.

Quote of the year so far.

Yes it does feel bad, rejection is a tough dish to swallow. The problem with being similar to all of your friends is that a school can't accept all its applicants or even interviewees. You can dwell on the reason why you were rejected OR you can say screw them, they're missing out, you will be happier at this school, you will have great new experiences, and make NEW friends.

What many people call rationalization has been shown to increase happiness just as much if not more than actual happy events. Be happy, this is where you were meant to go! If you want to end up there you can always do away rotations, summer research, or residency. But for now celebrate, relax, and toss them a couple of middle fingers yourself 😉

 

[Elewynne]

It really sucks. I'm in the same boat, got into three schools including one which I'm very excited for - but I was among the first rejected pre-interview at my state school. In my case it was a double whammy, because moving out of state means I have to sell my house and give up a property which I LOVE to attend medical school. It sucks, but try to focus on the positives about where you're going and get excited about that - it helps.

 

[Skeeks]

While I haent been outright rejected from my state school I am pretty sure I will be and there are some in my school who I am sure will get in this cylce. This is what I do:

First I let myself wallow a little. You've earned it, the process is too long, draining, and costs too much to not justify being rightly disappointed when your efforts fall short of an acceptance. After this though I take great pride in the school I have been accepted to and have chosen to attend. I guarantee you will find some area of medicine/education where your accepted school excels above your state school. Focus on that and let it bring you pride. Remember all those little things about your state school that bothered you while you were interviewing and rest assured that you are attending the best medical school for you.

Just my $0.02

 

[akaMondo]

Had this happen. I know a girl who had average EC, 3.7 GPA, 30 MCAT, and a DUI the spring of applying and got an interview at a state school I was rejected from. I can name like 10 people off the top of my head who got into the state school, all with about my GPA, way lower MCAT scores, and fairly standard ECs. I think a few have legacy there, but beyond that, nothing stand out. When I waited 14 weeks and got a straight up rejection mailed to me, I was crushed. I'd even had a member of the board of admissions contact me and encourage me to apply (long story, I live in a small town and word gets around quick). He said he was putting my application forward, etc. etc. I thought I'd at least get an interview.

It's a weird process, that's what I've learned. 4 interviews at OOS publics, interviewed at my far-superior in state school, rejected pre-interview at my other state school when someone on AdComs was helping me out.

 

[NoDakDok]

To the original poster, medical admissions is a crap shoot. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. All you can do is your best to convey yourself to an admissions committee and hope it sticks. Most of the time, it won't. As a re-applicant myself, the fact you got in this year is something to be ever thankful for, so hold on to that as your pursue your vocation. Congrats, fellow future physician! I wish you the best.

 

[medschoolmyname]

At least u have the peace of mind knowing your gonna be a physician. I've gotten the finger like 10 times now and nothing to show for it. Go do ur thing become a doctor and move back to your hometown area

 

[I Love Cats]

Your responses were so unexpectedly wonderful! Thank you for the insight, wisdom and the extremely surprising amount of encouragement and support I received! I hope I tastefully illustrated what I was experiencing in the opening post to the point that it didn't leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth or come across as petty and complacent.

With the amount of responses I have received from all of you anonymous, yet compassionate and understanding, people, whenever I find myself falling prey to a confusing sense of inadequacy (despite my accomplishment) related to the outcomes I have experienced in this extremely complex and unpredictable process, I will immediately turn to this thread to find insightful encouragement and reassurance that will surely take me away from what I am feeling. Thank you, and I wish you all the best in this process when it comes to how you feel and where you end up! I am glad to know that one day I will be a physician proudly among the rest of you. 🙂

 

[Jennyfishy]

Rock your med school years, match into a better residency than your friends, rest easy, profit.

But in alls seriousness, I get why you would feel upset about seeing your friends receiving love from your state school. However, if none of them have an acceptance to the school you were accepted to, that makes you all the more unique 😉

A few of my friends/classmates have been accepted to several of my IS schools, while I've been rejected by all of them. After a lot of "self-humbling" and growing these past few months, I'm actually more excited to finally have a reason to leave the "CA nest." It's all about perspective 😀.