Examples of "normal" personal statements?

[xBODOMx]

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[circulus vitios]

I'd like to see this, too. I imagine a normal PS is going to be painfully boring, but it would still help to see one.

 

[pre med 2014]

What? you didn't organize a humanitarian program in Africa on your return trip from winning silver in the London Olympics?

Buck up your ECs

 

[milkphlegm]

Mine is still in between drafts, but close to done. I'd be happy to PM it to anyone interested. I'm a very normal applicant and actually like my personal statement after a bunch of drafts.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Honestly, just do your own thing. For some time I was reviewing personal statements for people here. The majority were painfully boring with lame experiences such as being assistant manager at a subway sandwiches, but I once read one where some guy said he wanted to be Batman and his personal statement went on about how his medical knowledge would be his bat belt and all this other hilarious stuff.

Good luck.

 

[TwinsFan]

Honestly, just do your own thing. For some time I was reviewing personal statements for people here. The majority were painfully boring with lame experiences such as being assistant manager at a subway sandwiches, but I once read one where some guy said he wanted to be Batman and his personal statement went on about how his medical knowledge would be his bat belt and all this other hilarious stuff.

Good luck.

Pure gold...

 

[wooki]

i have read a lot of personal statements. your regular, run-of-the-mill, ordinary statements are exactly what you think they are. they start with a dramatic opening, usually clinical, that gets tied in with how or why medicine. then a few more examples from the person's CV on why medicine. then a conclusion.

 

[deleted480308]

A lot of pre-health offices will have some examples of the statements their accepted grads have written. My undergrad has a folder with like 50 of them

 

[wooki]

Crap you just described my PS...

And I thought mine was special lol

how dramatic was your hook?

"10 seconds left. i dashed down the hall with the only frozen pack of AB blood left in the hospital. i knew the patient needed this. at that moment, before i crossed the OR doors, it dawned on me: i want to to be a doctor."

 

[Pharmakon]

Having served on an acceptance committee for a large undergraduate Honors Program, I have read many personal essays. The first three sentences are the most crucial. No, you don't have to cram every bit of information you can into the beginning, BUT, you must establish your ethos or set up an interesting point. If these first sentences are clunky or boring, the rest of the essay gets a quick skim and a "average" rating. If you can connect with your reader quickly, then you will hold their attention. They may *gasp* even remember you! (Looks like English and Comm classes actually were important...)

 

[maybemed2013]

I don't think there is a such a thing abt. a 'normal' PS.

My PS statement is abt me taking care of my grandmother , everyone that has proofread it thinks I should be a nurse but from shadowing various medical professions, working as a cna and both of my parents being nurses I know I want to be a doctor.

Also I did wanted my PS statement to be on one subject( my grandmother) not on the several experiences that I had to convince me to become a doctor-- I can talk about that during interviews.

Also I just strongly believe that doctors should care more abt their clients.

 

[pepes1lv1a]

What? you didn't organize a humanitarian program in Africa on your return trip from winning silver in the London Olympics?

Buck up your ECs

If there weren't rivulets etched into your cheeks from the tears of joy you cried for each african child you saved, you weren't trying hard enough.



speaking of abnormal personal statements, though. I am a nontrad who needs to explain my low GPA. I had a pretty strong statement written about my uncertain path through college and beginning/ending with my ER tech experience, but I ditched it last night and crammed the grade stuff into a few sentences. I wrote about my grandfather's dementia being similar to the patients I see in the ER, but I also allude to the idea of physician-assisted suicide...no directly, but implying that he wouldn't have wanted to live like that, and i want to be a doctor to join the dialogue about what seems to be a divergence between clinical outcome and quality of life, which I see in the ED every day in a geriatric-heavy patient demographic...is this too risky?

 

[hallowmann]

...but implying that he wouldn't have wanted to live like that, and i want to be a doctor to join the dialogue about what seems to be a divergence between clinical outcome and quality of life, which I see in the ED every day in a geriatric-heavy patient demographic...is this too risky?

That's too strong of a stance on a touchy subject for me. I think its risky, but if you want to only go to a school where people are either comfortable with the idea of PAS or support it, then that would be a good filter, and might even make your PS compelling at those places.

In an ideal world, people's biases wouldn't affect them, but if you rub an adcom member the wrong way with a statement that they could strongly disagree with, it might significantly hurt your chances at that school. Its really up to you though.

Maybe I just think its a strong statement to make. Maybe you could bring it up in a less direct way, like focus on the importance of dialogue as opposed to pointing out a divergence between clinical outcome and quality of life specifically with regards to PAS (like you could still bring up a better approach to treatment or preference for less invasive/more palliative treatment in certain cases, just not allude to PAS directly). PAS is a disputed topic among medical professionals, and people have varying degrees of opinion on the subject.

 

[pepes1lv1a]

That's too strong of a stance on a touchy subject for me. I think its risky, but if you want to only go to a school where people are either comfortable with the idea of PAS or support it, then that would be a good filter, and might even make your PS compelling at those places.

In an ideal world, people's biases wouldn't affect them, but if you rub an adcom member the wrong way with a statement that they could strongly disagree with, it might significantly hurt your chances at that school. Its really up to you though.

Maybe I just think its a strong statement to make. Maybe you could bring it up in a less direct way, like focus on the importance of dialogue as opposed to pointing out a divergence between clinical outcome and quality of life specifically with regards to PAS (like you could still bring up a better approach to treatment or preference for less invasive/more palliative treatment in certain cases, just not allude to PAS directly). PAS is a disputed topic among medical professionals, and people have varying degrees of opinion on the subject.

Thanks for the input. I think you're right, I should probably take it down a notch. For all I know the adcom member reading it could be a devout Christian or something. I make mention of the high holidays at some point so I don't want them thinking I'm some sort of heretic Jew-Kevorkian...

 

[Whistle]

Some physicians that I had go over mine said that they get most annoyed at theatrical personal statements. They said a lot of "eye-rolling" happens, especially in opening paragraphs, and that a lot of students will lose them because they are more concerned with being interesting than making concrete points that logically progress throughout the PS.

It was interesting to me because most professors I had read mine liked the more interesting version more and most physicians liked the version (I had 2 drafts) that was to the point. One physician told me he doesn't really think students can go wrong with the standard 5 paragraph "I'm going to talk about x, y, and z."

In the end, I went with the more "to the point" version and got interview invites from almost every school I was complete at (complete at 8 schools, 7 invites).

Remember, you're not a Literature PhD applicant, make sure it's logical, make sure it's to the point, don't be over dramatic, and be honest.

 

[WillburCobb]

...I don't want them thinking I'm some sort of heretic Jew-Kevorkian...

 

[MedGrl@2022]

Hey guys,

I've finished my statement, but I dislike it. I've read quite a few google'd examples, but I feel they are mostly unrealistic, hollywood'ized, cinematic examples. Does anyone know of good "normal" applicant personal statements? The ones usually picked are like ivy-league applicants.

Thanks.

I just started reading Princeton Review Medical School Essays that made a difference. I only read one essay so far and I thought it was okay. It is also interesting to see their stats and where they got accepted Check it out. It might help!

 

[pepes1lv1a]

I just started reading Princeton Review Medical School Essays that made a difference. I only read one essay so far and I thought it was okay. It is also interesting to see their stats and where they got accepted Check it out. It might help!

If by interesting you mean, how the hell did some of these people not get in?! I just read it too and most of them made me want to gag. Did I miss something saying it's a prerequisite that I go cradle a dying child Uganda with tears rolling down my face? Because seriously, I'll do it if I have to.

I'm sure the people in Africa who are helped by these mission(?) trips are grateful but christ, talk about using someone's abject suffering for a resume-builder.

 

[coolingglasses]

Some physicians that I had go over mine said that they get most annoyed at theatrical personal statements. They said a lot of "eye-rolling" happens, especially in opening paragraphs, and that a lot of students will lose them because they are more concerned with being interesting than making concrete points that logically progress throughout the PS.

It was interesting to me because most professors I had read mine liked the more interesting version more and most physicians liked the version (I had 2 drafts) that was to the point. One physician told me he doesn't really think students can go wrong with the standard 5 paragraph "I'm going to talk about x, y, and z."

In the end, I went with the more "to the point" version and got interview invites from almost every school I was complete at (complete at 8 schools, 7 invites).

Remember, you're not a Literature PhD applicant, make sure it's logical, make sure it's to the point, don't be over dramatic, and be honest.

I am pretty sure I was told to avoid the dramatic openings too. Cliche`.

Although I did spend the first paragraph describing a clinical experience that started my career change, but that's different.

 

[StudyShy]

You can read mine if you'd like just PM me. It helped me tons to edit personal statements on SDN a couple of years ago. About 5 percent were truly amazing while most were good. I can't think of anyone who I read for who didn't get into medical school besides myself but I was missing a major prerequisite. I would also be open to reading yours. I include a worksheet with each PS that I send back.

 

[hv92]

So let's say you have an amazing MCAT, and an amazing GPA, but a terrible PS and essays... I take it that you will more than likely be waitlisted or rejected? Anybody have any say on this?

 

[Pharmakon]

So let's say you have an amazing MCAT, and an amazing GPA, but a terrible PS and essays... I take it that you will more than likely be waitlisted or rejected? Anybody have any say on this?

I've seen multiple people (some who are pretty trusted on SDN) say that the scores get you a secondary, and the essays help get you an interview. They are part of the application; they will factor somehow.

As a writing tutor, I say there is no excuse for weak PS and essays. Reach out. Get help. Most Universities have Academic Enhancement Departments or Career Centers. Go there. Have people help you.

I saw my essays and PS and the area of greatest control in my application; once you have that mindset, you realize that even a "bad" essay can become a "good" essay with a revision or two.

There are NO bad writers, only those without confidence.

 

[hv92]

I've seen multiple people (some who are pretty trusted on SDN) say that the scores get you a secondary, and the essays help get you an interview. They are part of the application; they will factor somehow.

As a writing tutor, I say there is no excuse for weak PS and essays. Reach out. Get help. Most Universities have Academic Enhancement Departments or Career Centers. Go there. Have people help you.

I saw my essays and PS and the area of greatest control in my application; once you have that mindset, you realize that even a "bad" essay can become a "good" essay with a revision or two.

There are NO bad writers, only those without confidence.

Yeah I can definitely see where you are coming from.

 

[wreckem16]

Mine is still in between drafts, but close to done. I'd be happy to PM it to anyone interested. I'm a very normal applicant and actually like my personal statement after a bunch of drafts.

I know its been a long time since you posted, but would you be willing to share with me?