- Joined
- Mar 30, 2014
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Hi everyone. I've been a longtime member (mostly lurking) but created a new account for privacy reasons. I've always valued this forum for the great advice, often brutal honesty, and diversity of views and opinions.
About me: never a stellar student, bottom half of my class, really struggled through medical school to keep up with my other classmates. I always felt just lucky to have gotten into medical school after serial sub-30 MCAT scores, unimpressive GPA, and taking a couple years off from school to build my application. I had felt like I "made it" after getting into not just medical school, but a state school offering amazing tuition break that was also close to family.
Fast forward to Step 1 time, and I was completely lost. Studying for hours on end while feeling completely behind my peers throughout my first two years, and my school was struggling to reorganize their academic advising department. I never passed any of my practice exams, and I had already pushed my exam back 2 weeks. After talking to my advisor, mentor, and dean, they all said that being so close to my exam date (3 days), to go for it, which I did, and missed the passing score by 3 points. That hurt. Really bad. And I found out on my birthday, on the wards, on long call.
Thank god for amazing family and friends. They quickly brought me back to my feet. I went straight to the academic advising department, which by now had gotten back on its feet. Took a 3rd year rotation off. Studied my butt off for 6 weeks with weekly meetings with my advisor. We reviewed study strategies, used resources outside of First Aid, experimented with how to tackle practice questions and reviewing them, and I finally addressed my depression/anxiety/low self-esteem problems. The second time around I passed with a horribly low score (195), but I was just ecstatic to have passed. At this point, my career goals were either in FM, IM, or med/peds.
Then MS3 blew by, I worked really hard to get great evaluations, and prepare for LORs and ERAS. Then Step 2, which literally scared the **** out of me. I had much less time to study (3 weeks), and the trauma of step 1 kept coming back to me, and I constantly questioned by ability to do well on step 2. Again I went back to my academic advising department with weekly meetings. Miracle of miracles, I passed with a score I was happy with (210s).
For SDN standards, this is horrific, I know. But these were the cards I had dealt to myself, and I had to work with what I had. I did one visit elective at a nearby program, got a great LOR from my attending, kicked a** at my sub-I, and connected with the PD of my school's med/peds program. The true reality of how horrible a step 1 fail was now a reality. He kept emphasizing to apply broadly and to consider adding another specialty. With a fiance who needed a job in clinical psychology, graduate education, or both, the geography was going to be a little limiting, which made application season even scarier. I applied to 78 med/peds and IM programs, all either academic or community with academic affiliations. I was invited to interview at 9 programs, 4 med/peds and 5 IM; one of the med/peds and IM programs were at my school, which I know some folks don't have this advantage. I was asked about step 1 A LOT, but also asked about what my future goals and aspirations were, and it was an incredibly humbling experience. I sent thank you letters, followed up with residents whenever they emailed me, and remained incredibly gracious and appreciative throughout the entire season.
When it came to the rank list, I knew my chances of matching were greater at my home school than anywhere else. As someone with a step 1 failure, not awesome step 2, middle of the class third year clerkship grades, and pretty good LORs, a match at any of the programs I interviewed would be awesome. My dream was a position at a med/peds program, so I ranked my school program (which I loved) my #1, followed by all the other med/peds programs as #s 2-4, then the IM programs with my school's IM program as my top IM program. On Match Day, I was ecstatic to have matched at my top choice program in med/peds.
Some lessons I learned through this whole surreal experience:
1) forgive yourself. at any point of failure, it does nothing to berate yourself, blame yourself, or feel like you are no longer "good enough." life and **** happen and the true test of getting through a failure is to forgive yourself and move forward in reaching your goals.
2) seek out help when you need it at the earliest sign of struggle. I wish I had done this earlier, and been more open about my weaknesses to the academic faculty. Don't let pride or fear get in the way. Your school wants you to succeed and will help you do that. Just do your part.
3) humility is key to get you through interviews. At a well-respected academic program, one of my interviewers said he really appreciated my response to my step 1 failure because he had heard too many students say that they were "not good test takers." The failure falls on you, not any other outside force, and so good reflection and really learning from a failure will reflect well on you as person and as a a future resident.
4) sounds awful, but true: beggars cannot be choosers. With residency spots becoming more competitive, I was definitely in the beggar pool. Apply broadly, and to a lot of programs. If geography is not an issue, maximize that advantage. I considered getting 7 programs outside of my school interested in my application a pretty big success, so I made sure not to blow these interviews. I was lucky too that these interviews were in cities that I would be willing to live in where my fiance would likely be able to find a job too, so it served as double motivation to prepare myself: research the residency website, come with questions about anything related to residency, be prepared to answer why you are interested in their program, and socialize with the residents as well as the other applicants.
5) be realistic about your goals. Big name programs were not even going to take a first look at me, so I very quickly put those out of my mind. Don't worry about the rejection emails, be grateful for what you do get. Focus on the programs who want to talk to you and making a good impression on them
6) send thank you letters, and personalize them to your experience as much as you can. Though they probably won't help, they definitely wouldn't hurt.
7) kindness goes a long, long way. do not underestimate it. if you are sincerely kind to those around you, it won't go unnoticed.
I apologize for this being a long read, but I learned so much through this process and I am so grateful to have seen light at the end of the tunnel. As more of a lurker than a poster, I've seen that there are members who struggle and are brave enough to ask for advice. While they do get wonderful support, there are few who can truly relate to them. Please PM me with any questions. Thanks!!
About me: never a stellar student, bottom half of my class, really struggled through medical school to keep up with my other classmates. I always felt just lucky to have gotten into medical school after serial sub-30 MCAT scores, unimpressive GPA, and taking a couple years off from school to build my application. I had felt like I "made it" after getting into not just medical school, but a state school offering amazing tuition break that was also close to family.
Fast forward to Step 1 time, and I was completely lost. Studying for hours on end while feeling completely behind my peers throughout my first two years, and my school was struggling to reorganize their academic advising department. I never passed any of my practice exams, and I had already pushed my exam back 2 weeks. After talking to my advisor, mentor, and dean, they all said that being so close to my exam date (3 days), to go for it, which I did, and missed the passing score by 3 points. That hurt. Really bad. And I found out on my birthday, on the wards, on long call.
Thank god for amazing family and friends. They quickly brought me back to my feet. I went straight to the academic advising department, which by now had gotten back on its feet. Took a 3rd year rotation off. Studied my butt off for 6 weeks with weekly meetings with my advisor. We reviewed study strategies, used resources outside of First Aid, experimented with how to tackle practice questions and reviewing them, and I finally addressed my depression/anxiety/low self-esteem problems. The second time around I passed with a horribly low score (195), but I was just ecstatic to have passed. At this point, my career goals were either in FM, IM, or med/peds.
Then MS3 blew by, I worked really hard to get great evaluations, and prepare for LORs and ERAS. Then Step 2, which literally scared the **** out of me. I had much less time to study (3 weeks), and the trauma of step 1 kept coming back to me, and I constantly questioned by ability to do well on step 2. Again I went back to my academic advising department with weekly meetings. Miracle of miracles, I passed with a score I was happy with (210s).
For SDN standards, this is horrific, I know. But these were the cards I had dealt to myself, and I had to work with what I had. I did one visit elective at a nearby program, got a great LOR from my attending, kicked a** at my sub-I, and connected with the PD of my school's med/peds program. The true reality of how horrible a step 1 fail was now a reality. He kept emphasizing to apply broadly and to consider adding another specialty. With a fiance who needed a job in clinical psychology, graduate education, or both, the geography was going to be a little limiting, which made application season even scarier. I applied to 78 med/peds and IM programs, all either academic or community with academic affiliations. I was invited to interview at 9 programs, 4 med/peds and 5 IM; one of the med/peds and IM programs were at my school, which I know some folks don't have this advantage. I was asked about step 1 A LOT, but also asked about what my future goals and aspirations were, and it was an incredibly humbling experience. I sent thank you letters, followed up with residents whenever they emailed me, and remained incredibly gracious and appreciative throughout the entire season.
When it came to the rank list, I knew my chances of matching were greater at my home school than anywhere else. As someone with a step 1 failure, not awesome step 2, middle of the class third year clerkship grades, and pretty good LORs, a match at any of the programs I interviewed would be awesome. My dream was a position at a med/peds program, so I ranked my school program (which I loved) my #1, followed by all the other med/peds programs as #s 2-4, then the IM programs with my school's IM program as my top IM program. On Match Day, I was ecstatic to have matched at my top choice program in med/peds.
Some lessons I learned through this whole surreal experience:
1) forgive yourself. at any point of failure, it does nothing to berate yourself, blame yourself, or feel like you are no longer "good enough." life and **** happen and the true test of getting through a failure is to forgive yourself and move forward in reaching your goals.
2) seek out help when you need it at the earliest sign of struggle. I wish I had done this earlier, and been more open about my weaknesses to the academic faculty. Don't let pride or fear get in the way. Your school wants you to succeed and will help you do that. Just do your part.
3) humility is key to get you through interviews. At a well-respected academic program, one of my interviewers said he really appreciated my response to my step 1 failure because he had heard too many students say that they were "not good test takers." The failure falls on you, not any other outside force, and so good reflection and really learning from a failure will reflect well on you as person and as a a future resident.
4) sounds awful, but true: beggars cannot be choosers. With residency spots becoming more competitive, I was definitely in the beggar pool. Apply broadly, and to a lot of programs. If geography is not an issue, maximize that advantage. I considered getting 7 programs outside of my school interested in my application a pretty big success, so I made sure not to blow these interviews. I was lucky too that these interviews were in cities that I would be willing to live in where my fiance would likely be able to find a job too, so it served as double motivation to prepare myself: research the residency website, come with questions about anything related to residency, be prepared to answer why you are interested in their program, and socialize with the residents as well as the other applicants.
5) be realistic about your goals. Big name programs were not even going to take a first look at me, so I very quickly put those out of my mind. Don't worry about the rejection emails, be grateful for what you do get. Focus on the programs who want to talk to you and making a good impression on them
6) send thank you letters, and personalize them to your experience as much as you can. Though they probably won't help, they definitely wouldn't hurt.
7) kindness goes a long, long way. do not underestimate it. if you are sincerely kind to those around you, it won't go unnoticed.
I apologize for this being a long read, but I learned so much through this process and I am so grateful to have seen light at the end of the tunnel. As more of a lurker than a poster, I've seen that there are members who struggle and are brave enough to ask for advice. While they do get wonderful support, there are few who can truly relate to them. Please PM me with any questions. Thanks!!
