Family and Medical school

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Dad to 3 here....My kids are all younger than school age, but my wife is wonderful. She has here degree and stays home with the children. You are not alone by any means, and it can be done. You just need a good support group. I personally think having small children in school helps to learn balance and to better understand a patient. Just like a small child, they often don't understand the challenge they face and need someone who can listen well, determine the right course of action and guide them. Good luck!!
 
When you start school, will your spouse stay home with the kids, or will you have to find day-care? We're wondering how we would handle this...as my wife is career oriented....but day-care is EXPENSIVE.
 
MJB said:
When you start school, will your spouse stay home with the kids, or will you have to find day-care? We're wondering how we would handle this...as my wife is career oriented....but day-care is EXPENSIVE.
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When I start school, my wife will be home with the children. I know that day care is expensive, and depending on what a person does for their employment, the added cost of day care can cancel a large percentage of her salary. I think that even if your wife is career oriented it can be done.

In the past my wife actually baby-sat for a friend or ours who was in Vet School because her husband worked. At times the added child was a bit rough, but I think it helped us, the child and our friend. We learned how to be more efficient at meeting the children's needs, the child had someone they could become familiar with in a home setting while earning a little money, and our friend didn't have to worry about the care that her baby was getting. That might be something to consider. Most of the time, I think you can find someone you trust for a less that "professional daycare" and still have an environment where the caretaker is not looking after eight 3 year olds at the same time.
 
my daughter is 8 months and my wife is pregnant so i will have 2 kids at matriculation. i just hope the adcoms look over the minimal volunteer and shadowing and seeing that being a father is much harder.
 
I'm having a baby in August, and either starting med school the same month 😱 or defering a year. So not exactly the same position, but yes I will have a child in med school. Actually we hope to have another at some point during my schooling, as well. I also have friends who have had babies while in school, and I know women who made it through med school and residency with children. In fact, I know one woman who just finished her residency last year and has 4 kids (or is it 5? 😛). She took longer to finish med school but otherwise got through fine, and she went to a top-5 school and did her residency at the same institution. So it's totally possible, it can even be done incredibly well, and your kids can still be well adjusted and happy 🙂 It just takes hard work, dedication, and prioritizing. (At least this is what I tell myself :laugh: )

Good luck :luck:
 
I am a mom of three, and in medschool. My youngest was an infant when I started this process (went back to school, took mcat, applied). They are now all in school. It is busy but is possible. Good luck! 😉
 
Tiagao said:
Dad to 3 here....My kids are all younger than school age, but my wife is wonderful. She has here degree and stays home with the children. You are not alone by any means, and it can be done. You just need a good support group. I personally think having small children in school helps to learn balance and to better understand a patient. Just like a small child, they often don't understand the challenge they face and need someone who can listen well, determine the right course of action and guide them. Good luck!!
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My husband will be starting med school in August. We have a 1 year old daughter, whom I stay home with and would like to continue to do so. I'm so scared about the financial aspect. I know we will have to take out private loans in addition to Stafford loans, but for some reason I'm still nervous about it. Will we be able to get enough money to pay for the expenses that go with having a family (2-3 br apartment, health insurance, another baby, clothing for growing children etc).
 
megboo said:
Are there any moms or moms-to-be that are attending med school away from their families? I mean, far enough away that you have your own apartment and go home on weekends?
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We considered this,but it just won't work for us. I don't think I could stand to be away from my husband for a whole week, and neither of us alone could take care of the baby. The only reason we even thought about it is because I'm waitlisted at my first choice school, and if I do get in off the waitlist it will be after the deadline for requesting a deferral. So basically if I get in I can't go anyway 🙁
 
megboo said:
Are there any moms or moms-to-be that are attending med school away from their families? I mean, far enough away that you have your own apartment and go home on weekends?
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WE considered moving in with my parents and having me keep an apartment in the school city an hour and a half away.
It turned out I wasn't accepted to that school anyway, but don't feel bad if thats what you have to do - I think it mostly depends on your situation, as long as your family has lots of support, you ought to be all right.
 
megboo said:
Are there any moms or moms-to-be that are attending med school away from their families? I mean, far enough away that you have your own apartment and go home on weekends?
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Hi megboo,

I am doing this.... I am away all week and home on weekends. This is year two and things are going pretty well, but it is definately tough being away from them all. Next year will be particularly challenging due to clerkship hours and call schedules... I'm not sure how often I will be able to get home. We are bracing for the worst. 😱 PM me if you have specific questions.
 
I have 2 small children one and two years old. I think it is easier with small children because med school demands a lot of time. I take time to play with the kids when I get home and they are not rally aware of all the time I spend at school.

They are great study breaks - just when I have had enough it is time to watch pooh for the hundredth time.

I also work a couple of Saturdays a month so it is all really possible - you just won't be first in your class (and if you are wow!)
 
megboo said:
Are there any moms or moms-to-be that are attending med school away from their families? I mean, far enough away that you have your own apartment and go home on weekends?
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I did this for an 8-week surgery rotation and was completely miserable. Not to mention that the household completely fell apart in my absence ... I really don't want to separated from my husband and son again! Yes, some people may do it ... but in the future I will do everything possible to prevent this from occurring.
 
noelleruckman said:
I am a mother applying for medical school. My children are 2 1/2 and 6 months. Anyone else in the same position?
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I'm a mother who just got into medical school. I have a 19 month old with a husband who is mostly out to sea. Having my kid was the best thing to happen to me and was the impetus for me to do well on my MCAT.
 
I have a 19 month old and will be carting her off with me to medical school in the Fall. My husband is a military man and out to sea. Glad to see that there are others here that are in the same situation. I'm trying to hammer out the logistics of being a temporary single parent and a medical student. Then a single word popped into my head... "nanny."
 
Flt Surg WannaB said:
I have a 19 month old and will be carting her off with me to medical school in the Fall. My husband is a military man and out to sea. Glad to see that there are others here that are in the same situation. I'm trying to hammer out the logistics of being a temporary single parent and a medical student. Then a single word popped into my head... "nanny."
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I know medical school will allow daycare expenses to be a part of an individual's financial aid package. Does anyone know what the limit on that is? i.e. is an au paur (sp?) or nanny an option?
 
I am a dad who has been in school since my oldest, who today turns 5, has been born. I am still a premed and I have a 2 year old and one on the way. As for financial assistance , I asked a financial aid rep this question.

They will assist to some degree with day to day expenses. Ifyou come to them and say, I need to send me child to day care so that my spouce can work, they will help out. However you cannot go to them and say, I would like to send my child to the most exclusive preschool there is in town so that she can have a chance at such and such prep school for elementary and she can then go to such and such prep school for high school to get into Harvard.

On the other hand they will expect a spouce to work and help with the expenses.

The best line I heard a finacial official say was "Live like a dcotor when you are a student and you will live like a student when you are a doctor"

The Old Pre Meds convention (www.oldpremeds.com) is addressing family and medical school this year.
 
noelleruckman said:
I am a mother applying for medical school. My children are 2 1/2 and 6 months. Anyone else in the same position?
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My kiddos are 1, 3, and 5 and I'm starting med school this August - there are many of us parents who are in the same position as you 🙂

My wife is a stay-at-home mom and will continue to be during med school. We are going to max out allowable loans and live off the equity from selling our house. Scared? Yep. Excited? Yep.
 
I'll be starting med school in the fall and will have a one-yr. old and a child entering kindergarten. My dh works a lot, but is great when he's around. We'll be hiring A LOT of help. Thank goodness for those student loans.

I'm told it can be done...yet, I'm pretty nervous. I'll post in the fall when I can tell you better. I do have to say that it is different for moms than for the dads who are posting -- most of them have full-time SAHM partners. Not saying it is easy to be a med school dad, just different. Moms have more responsibility, in general, in terms of household and kids, and most importantly more guilt!

Hang in there!
 
Bunsen Honeydew said:
I'll be starting med school in the fall and will have a one-yr. old and a child entering kindergarten. My dh works a lot, but is great when he's around. We'll be hiring A LOT of help. Thank goodness for those student loans.

I'm told it can be done...yet, I'm pretty nervous. I'll post in the fall when I can tell you better. I do have to say that it is different for moms than for the dads who are posting -- most of them have full-time SAHM partners. Not saying it is easy to be a med school dad, just different. Moms have more responsibility, in general, in terms of household and kids, and most importantly more guilt!

Hang in there!
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What is a dh?
 
Megboo,

dh is "dear husband" or "darling husband" or "d#%n husband" - depending on how you are feeling on that particular day :laugh: .
 
noelleruckman said:
I am a mother applying for medical school. My children are 2 1/2 and 6 months. Anyone else in the same position?
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Wow, you sound just like me. 🙂 I'm applying this year and have two daughters - one is 2 1/2 and the other is 7 months.

It is going to make things tough but I know it will still be manageable. I am applying EDP to my state school because that really is our only option without completely separating the family. My DH will continue to work, and my two daughters (who will be 2 and almost 4) will be in day care. I'm hoping to be able to pay for half the cost of tuition/childcare without loans - but will definitely need loans for the other half.

I'm a stay at home mom right now so it will be a big change for our family but I can't imagine doing anything else with my life. And if staying at home with my kids for the past 2 1/2 years has taught me anything, it's that I am *definitely* not cut out to be a stay at home mom forever! :laugh:
 
I have two children, 7 and 10. I went back to school when my son was in pre-school (fortunately there was a school-associated day-care onsite for a fairly reasonable fee). My husband works weird hours (and a whole lot of them it seems), so I was full-time mom and more than full-time student. Heading to med school in August.

I would have LOVED to stay in-state, but that just isn't meant to be. So we're packing up the entire family and moving almost 2000 miles away. My husband doesn't have a job to go to (we're waiting for another school that is also 2000 miles away before making a decision), we don't have a house to move to, we don't know where the kids will be going to school, and we're a bit terrified about it all. But it's ok.

We'll be together and it will all work SOMEHOW. Splitting the family was never even brought into the discussion. Ever. It just isn't us. If worse comes to worse, we can cash out his retirement and live off that (but we'd really REALLY rather not). It'll all work out. He'd love to be a SAHD, but we don't really want to afford that (and we'd be eating PBJs forever - I *HATE* PBJs). The SAHD part will come after I'm working and we live on my salary. That way we can afford his hobbies. 🙂
 
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