Hey everyone, I just wanted to post to see if anyone has had the same/similar experiences after getting accepted into a doctoral program. I think it's worth noting that I am from a very small, rural town. My family is a low income family and lives "paycheck to paycheck." My family and I have always been pretty close, particularly my brother and I because he is only two years older than me so we have been best friends since childhood. However, once I got accepted to dental school- and ESPECIALLY after I began dental school- the dynamic has unquestionably changed. For quite a while I tried to figure out why my family didn't seem as happy or as proud of me as I expected them to. I'm not an emotional person at all, and generally don't care much about the opinions of others, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't care what my family thinks. Yes, I now live 3 hours from home and see my family significantly less, but I know them well enough to know that there seems to be some sort of jealousy or resentment towards me, and I truly hate to say "jealousy" because that carries a lot of weight, but after thinking about it for several months I'm just not sure what else it could be. I even try to avoid talking about dental school or my future at all costs because it seems to only create tension when I do. If dental school does happen to come up in conversation, my own mother- rather being being encouraging or supportive- constantly reminds me that she never had parents to encourage her to go to college and that she now makes such a small salary that her life is "miserable" which always makes me feel extremely guilty. I served in the army for 4 years in order to help pay for college and, to be quite honest, never received a dime from my family for my education and I have always been totally fine with that. I saw college as my responsibility to figure it out and find a way, which I did. But now I feel like there is some resentment from my family because I will seemingly make significantly more money than anyone in family. I know this is quite a long post, but I felt like including some important details about the socioeconomic status and the "stigma" of where I'm from could help explain the situation a little better. Has anyone dealt with maybe some animosity or maybe even jealousy from family members for "finding a way out" and a better life for themselves?
It's unfortunate that you have to go through those circumstances, especially if you're used to needing/having family support. You have two primary options, either help them out when you make it or cut them out. If you help them out, it's a hit or miss on whether they will appreciate you for it. You need to think what your primary objectives are. If those people are like that already, you will essentially be trying to buy their love. I've had that talk with my mom before about hard work, etc... and my response? I worked hard to get out of this hell hole and not become like you. Thank you for showing me why I need to move up. Now, if you feel a duty to help your parents out, then so be it. Even if it was mandated by law that they keep you alive for 18 years, it still cost them x amount of resources to do so. I help my parents out by giving them a few k/month+ F/J flights to whereever they want to go. It's the least I can do for not aborting me, giving me away, or killing me (and supporting my basic needs).
With my siblings, it's different. They are old, but not that old. They can still work and I believed in giving them the opportunity to succeed. I gave them a sizable investment and told them, make it work. If you succeed, then great, if you can't make it work, then it's your own damn fault and good luck in life. In essence, don't f*** it up and prove your worthiness.
Maybe these formulas could help you in what to do with your siblings. If they still treat you like crap, then in the very least, you've done what you can... or you can say f*** it, I don't owe you anything. Helping them guarantees nothing in the current dynamics of your relationship.
I’m doing my 1st CD/CD case right now, can’t agree more. After 3 try-in appointments, the faculty finally thinks it is decent enough to be sent out to lab. I sealed it down to the cast, festooned and sent it out. Lab tech doesn’t think it’s good enough and sent it back, demanding that I re-set the teeth. Fml. My dental school life would be much much happier if I don’t have to do these damn dentures.
Your goal in your professional life should be to have a practice so successful, that you never have to do a denture ever again. I am lucky in that I don't have to do any partials and we've gotten to the point where I've phased out temp flippers for implants (we got temporary maryland bridges now). Once you have a practice where you don't have to touch acrylic, make any adjustments, fabricate a prosthetic, have long unwinding chats with lonely populations, your dental practice/work life will be a lot easier to work with.
So.. to correct your last statement:
"My
dental school life would be much much happier if I don’t have to do
any these damn dentures."
