FARTING during interview...

[YoungFaithful]

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Do you think farting during an interview would ruin my chances at that school? Its not the sound that I'm concerned about, its the smell because mine are all silent. I just could not imagine spending all of the this time and $$ applying then having it all smashed by a little passage of air!! The worst part is there is nothing to do to prevent it!

Has anyone experienced this?

What should I eat for breakfast to prevent this?

😱

 

[NE_Cornhusker1]

try a butt plug

 

[exmike]

I would just clench my butt cheeks really tight and try to filter it through my boxers, pants, and hopefully the cushion on the seat

 

[docquaker]

haha...uh, you could always hold it. just try not to eat too much before the interview...after it's over, you can fart as much as you want=)

 

[exmike]

oh yeah, ive noticed this during interviews.

Avoid carbonated beverages and lactose-rich foods at the lunch before interview. Those always initiate a bowel reflex in me, and thus farting. Eat a light meal, drink juice or water.

 

[trauma_junky]

I would have sniffed the air and said, "did you have mexican for lunch? Gross!"

 

[NE_Cornhusker1]

stick your ass up in the air and light that sucker. they always talk about having outside interests and using your unique talents. follow up with something like: 'imagine how much the kids in the picu would enjoy seeing that!'

 

[NontradICUdoc]

When the committee asks you why you want to be a doctor, just stand up, let it rip and explain to them how facinated you are by the human body in that it can convert solids to gas and you want to learn more about this.

 

[DrJ2B]

This thread is hella hilarious! You can always hold it in, but I have heard it may somehow go the opposite way and end up in your brain and affect your cognitive abilities aka make you uberditzy!

 

[discusdan]

this is the most hilarious thread I have ever read.

 

[Megalofyia]

Plain Jane - One-second duration, nice resonant reverberation, and pungent odor cloud with a nearly instantaneous 5-foot radius. Your standard, everyday, friendly fart.

Beefy One. Sounds loud and butch, e.g., 'BRAAAMMPPP!' Smells like a cross between a decaying meadow muffin on a hot day and a fresh dog-turd.

Eggy. Smells very much like rotten eggs (or hydrogen sulfide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster (see below).
Fireball

Bunbuster. 'BRAAAP!' Sounds something like a Beefy One, except much more sudden and much more powerful. May smell either eggy or beefy. Leaves your dingus smarting. You really feel these babies.

Ripper. Sends seismic ripples to the next town. Rips the seams in the crotch of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby may experience hearing loss.
Kliban cartoon

Diesel. Sputters to a start, but then keeps putt-putting along spewing out an endless cloud of dirty, noxious fumes.
Surprise! You didn't even know that it was there, but suddenly . . . 'BRRMP!' Yellow surprise

Gunshot. Sounds just like a gunshot. Unbelievably loud indoors. Hard to believe that this emanates from between your buttocks. Bullet explodes into billions of virulent odor molecules. Gunshot farts are relatively rare but, like guns, very dangerous.

Squeaky. Puny and unsatisfying. Sounds a bit like a muffled 'Wheeeek,' but smells foul.

Worrier. The kind that seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage, matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the first possible opportunity.

ToiletPoopie Prelude. It feels like it's going to be a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny little squeaker fart plus the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.

Present. The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poop as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and give thanks you weren't in a business meeting or job interview when it happened. If you were, you're screwed.

Burble. Bubbly! Sometimes messy too.

Fart SmilieSBD (Silent But Deadly). Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But Lethal and Toxic Assassin.)

GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost). You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?

Hydrated. The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.

Not Now Please! You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to release it due to your situation (first date, new customer, important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth approach (see below).

Who, Me? You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.

 

[lola]

at my university of vermont interview last year, one of my faculty interviewers farted twice during the interview. it was pretty funny, especially since it was a 2 on 1 interview so the other interviewer was also witness to it!

 

[ehd327]

Mega, if I were on an adcom i'd accept you based on your post alone, pre-primary! Funny a** sh** no doubt.

 

[gary5]

Buy some diapers, remove the stuffing, and fill them with carbon filters. If the room still smells, look at your interviewer with a funny face and say, "That stinks! Did you do that? I want a new interviewer!".

LMAO.

OK. Enough jokes. Buy GasX at the store and see if it works for you. Try it ahead of time. Don't experiment on interview day. Maybe live on the stuff, for the sake of your love life and patients (unrelated, of course).

 

[Brickhouse]

Originally posted by NE_Cornhusker1
stick your ass up in the air and light that sucker. they always talk about having outside interests and using your unique talents. follow up with something like: 'imagine how much the kids in the picu would enjoy seeing that!'

OMG YES!

 

[potuhusky]

if they ask you if you have any artistic talents, you should say, "yes i do, acting." then stand up, let a nasty one rip and perform you best rendition of Fat Bastard from Austin powers...


Fat Bastard: Wofting, Wofting! Ooh, everyone loves their own brand! Let's smell it. Aww. Y'know when you run up and down the flats and say " Christ! What are they cooking? " That plus crap! Ooh. Smells like hot sick on a dead donkey!

 

[MeowMix]

There is actually a company that makes some kind of odor-eaters underpants. You could try those.

Some time in your professional career, you are going to pass gas at an inopportune moment. I've done it while I was teaching a seminar for 40 people, walking across the room while the audience was silent. There's not much you can do except ignore it and hope they do too.

However, I've also found out that it very rarely happens. Follow others' suggestions and figure out what makes you fart, then avoid it. Probability is on your side.

 

[allmightylong]

how about a .01 micron filter stuffed in the exit portal.

 

[cmudan]

If I were you, I would let one rip at the very beginning kind of like an ice breaker. I think it would make the interview more conversational.

Just make sure you open a window first.

THis thread is funny.

 

[DrJ2B]

You should try your best to hold it in. I would advise against asking to be excused because it is quite possible to let it rip on the way there and perhaps in the face of your interviewer. I am sure your interviewer would not appreciate a whiff of that!

 

[asama527]

Originally posted by NE_Cornhusker1
try a butt plug

LOL. I'm sorry the combination "try a butt plug" and "Can I use a jackhammer" in your signature is absolutely hilarious.

 

[NE_Cornhusker1]

try blaming it on the dog. that's what i usaully do. unless it's a real good one and then i'll credit for that.

 

[SaltySqueegee]

Let er rip... It will only make for a unique impression upon the admissions committee. Who knows... maybe they might accept you and give you a special scholarship/grant for doing it. ???

 

[asama527]

At least they'll remember you 🙂

 

[NRAI2001]

make sure u call safety otherwise u better run for the door knob before ur interview pummels ur stinky ass.😎

 

[jlee9531]

Originally posted by NRAI2001
make sure u call safety otherwise u better run for the door knob before ur interview pummels ur stinky ass.😎

damn safeties...so damn old skool....
those were the days...

 

[MurderousDonkey]

Farting is no big thing, I wouldn't stress about it. There are worse things that can happen. This is sort of embarrassing, but hey, it's an anonymous forum, right? So, I was at an interview once and I accidentally gave my interviewer a golden shower. It was a combination of things... I drank too much coffee that morning, I was nervous, and, you know... I'll be honest. It looked like he wanted it to happen. I know, believe me I know, it's hard to tell. Unless they just come right out and ask for it by name, that is, and I've never had that happen. But I like to think that I've got an eye for these things. Anyway. Approximately 18 seconds later, the moment had come and gone and my face was turning red. Embarrassed? You better believe it. The interviewer assured me that these things happen. And you know what? Accepted, two weeks later. Moral of the story: it's in their eyes. It's a far away look that says, "I'm a middle-aged guy going nowhere in life, I've got a chubby wife named Gladys and two chubby kids with braces, I have an SUV and a ugly cat, I gave up my medical practice to sit at a desk and shuffle papers and interview dipsh*t kids, and dammit, I need something exciting to happen in my life right now. Something exciting and golden."
Good luck.

 

[Spitting Camel]

Originally posted by MurderousDonkey
Farting is no big thing, I wouldn't stress about it. There are worse things that can happen. This is sort of embarrassing, but hey, it's an anonymous forum, right? So, I was at an interview once and I accidentally gave my interviewer a golden shower. It was a combination of things... I drank too much coffee that morning, I was nervous, and, you know... I'll be honest. It looked like he wanted it to happen. I know, believe me I know, it's hard to tell. Unless they just come right out and ask for it by name, that is, and I've never had that happen. But I like to think that I've got an eye for these things. Anyway. Approximately 18 seconds later, the moment had come and gone and my face was turning red. Embarrassed? You better believe it. The interviewer assured me that these things happen. And you know what? Accepted, two weeks later. Moral of the story: it's in their eyes. It's a far away look that says, "I'm a middle-aged guy going nowhere in life, I've got a chubby wife named Gladys and two chubby kids with braces, I have an SUV and a ugly cat, I gave up my medical practice to sit at a desk and shuffle papers and interview dipsh*t kids, and dammit, I need something exciting to happen in my life right now. Something exciting and golden."
Good luck.

Are you trying to say you peed on your interviewer? I always thought a golden shower was peeing... And what's this "you know... I'll be honest" business? I don't know what you're talking about. Were you drunk? What the heck, man?

 

[NRAI2001]

Originally posted by MurderousDonkey
Farting is no big thing, I wouldn't stress about it. There are worse things that can happen. This is sort of embarrassing, but hey, it's an anonymous forum, right? So, I was at an interview once and I accidentally gave my interviewer a golden shower. It was a combination of things... I drank too much coffee that morning, I was nervous, and, you know... I'll be honest. It looked like he wanted it to happen. I know, believe me I know, it's hard to tell. Unless they just come right out and ask for it by name, that is, and I've never had that happen. But I like to think that I've got an eye for these things. Anyway. Approximately 18 seconds later, the moment had come and gone and my face was turning red. Embarrassed? You better believe it. The interviewer assured me that these things happen. And you know what? Accepted, two weeks later. Moral of the story: it's in their eyes. It's a far away look that says, "I'm a middle-aged guy going nowhere in life, I've got a chubby wife named Gladys and two chubby kids with braces, I have an SUV and a ugly cat, I gave up my medical practice to sit at a desk and shuffle papers and interview dipsh*t kids, and dammit, I need something exciting to happen in my life right now. Something exciting and golden."
Good luck.

What is a golden shower?

 

[DrJ2B]

shower of urine 😛

 

[NRAI2001]

Originally posted by DrJ2B
shower of urine 😛

Isn't that the mating ritual of some animals?

 

[MurderousDonkey]

Originally posted by AlreadyInDebt
Are you trying to say you peed on your interviewer? I always thought a golden shower was peeing... And what's this "you know... I'll be honest" business? I don't know what you're talking about. Were you drunk? What the heck, man?

Drunk? At an interview?! I don't think so.

 

[Spacekat]

Just use it to impress them with your knowledge of medicine.

"Excuse me, sir, sorry to interrupt, but I need you to pull my phalanges."

"Whew! Didn't even get any warning borborygmi on that one!"

"Well, that was most of my daily 500cc's in one shot, I think!"

A website you all might enjoy:
http://chemistry.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

 

[exmike]

Originally posted by Spacekat

A website you all might enjoy:
http://chemistry.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

WOW! hahahaha all i ever wanted to know about farts!

 

[exmike]

on the page spacekat posted

www.fartypants.com


pants that filter your fart smell!

 

[Spacekat]

This just demonstrates the power of the web, frankly - bringing the intellectual resources of the world to bear on an issue that is of vital interest to all people, and making the results immediately available to everyone. It's so inspiring it gets me all choked up *sniff*

 

[NRAI2001]

Originally posted by Spacekat
This just demonstrates the power of the web, frankly - bringing the intellectual resources of the world to bear on an issue that is of vital interest to all people, and making the results immediately available to everyone. It's so inspiring it gets me all choked up *sniff*

I think it might be something else that is choking u up, better check ur pants.😀

 

[JM.]

S&S's fav thread of the year.

 

[YoungFaithful]

Well to give an update, I had an interview last week and blew one out. I peeled the paint off my interviewers office walls.

 

[camstah]

Originally posted by MurderousDonkey
Farting is no big thing, I wouldn't stress about it. There are worse things that can happen. This is sort of embarrassing, but hey, it's an anonymous forum, right? So, I was at an interview once and I accidentally gave my interviewer a golden shower. It was a combination of things... I drank too much coffee that morning, I was nervous, and, you know... I'll be honest. It looked like he wanted it to happen. I know, believe me I know, it's hard to tell. Unless they just come right out and ask for it by name, that is, and I've never had that happen. But I like to think that I've got an eye for these things. Anyway. Approximately 18 seconds later, the moment had come and gone and my face was turning red. Embarrassed? You better believe it. The interviewer assured me that these things happen. And you know what? Accepted, two weeks later. Moral of the story: it's in their eyes. It's a far away look that says, "I'm a middle-aged guy going nowhere in life, I've got a chubby wife named Gladys and two chubby kids with braces, I have an SUV and a ugly cat, I gave up my medical practice to sit at a desk and shuffle papers and interview dipsh*t kids, and dammit, I need something exciting to happen in my life right now. Something exciting and golden."
Good luck.

this is fricken hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!
i laughed for at least five minutes....the kind that makes your stomach hurt!!!!!!!!!!
so fricken funny.....

 

[absolutezero]

post deleted

 

[exigente chica]

Great thread, I needed that laugh

 

[Disenchanted 1]

I personally think it's all good........If I were you I would hold my head up pridefully and enjoy the show of talent !!!

BTW, very funny thread !! Let's here some more farting stories

 

[redleft123]

Of all the things I worried about during interviews, this is something that never even crossed my mind. Thank God.....because otherwise I would have focused on it!

 

[YoungFaithful]

Never hold your farts in.
They travel up your spine,
into your brain, and that's
where you get ****ty ideas from.