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Feedback on my adversity essay topic?

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viralhiker

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Instead of writing my master's thesis, I am workshopping some basic secondary essays: diversity, adversity, etc. For my adversity essay I am considering discussing growing up as a child of separated parents. My parents were never married, and have had an extremely contentious relationship (court battles, lots of really toxic behavior towards one another). It really affected me for a long time until I got to college and could separate myself from them.

Here is my dilemma though. My father never provided me financial support despite making six figures. He's told me (many) times that I am forever cut off from him. Since my parents were never officially together, I did not include him in my biographical information when I submitted my AMCAS.

If I discuss my relationship with my father in a secondary essay, will this come back to bite me since I did not include him in my application? My mom essentially raised me alone for my entire life, and since there was really no option to discuss my situation on the primary, and I felt like I would have done myself a disservice by including his information (well-educated, high paying job, etc.).

Thanks!
 

Rachapkis

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You should feel free to discuss your father in your secondaries. When schools ask you for his income information to determine whether to give you financial aid, you will have to mention him when seeking aid from the school (as opposed to loans from the government or private banks).
 

viralhiker

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You should feel free to discuss your father in your secondaries. When schools ask you for his income information to determine whether to give you financial aid, you will have to mention him when seeking aid from the school (as opposed to loans from the government or private banks).
Really? Even if there is no way he will ever support me financially?
 
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LizzyM

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Really? Even if there is no way he will ever support me financially?
Yep! The school's are not handling out money to people who have the means within their families to handle the cost. As a donor would you want to see that the school was asking you to make a donation for scholarships and then handing that money to a Bloomberg or a Gates? The schools are giving their need-based scholarship money to students with documented need and no options. That said, there will be money for you to attend med school but it will be in the form of loans or merit based aid (very rare, but it happens), not need-based.
 
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Rachapkis

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Really? Even if there is no way he will ever support me financially?
Sorry. It can be unfair in individual circumstances, but what I said is correct. LizzyM, who confirmed what I said, is extremely trustworthy. Her advice, in the main, is as good as gold.
 
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viralhiker

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Yep! The school's are not handling out money to people who have the means within their families to handle the cost. As a donor would you want to see that the school was asking you to make a donation for scholarships and then handing that money to a Bloomberg or a Gates? The schools are giving their need-based scholarship money to students with documented need and no options. That said, there will be money for you to attend med school but it will be in the form of loans or merit based aid (very rare, but it happens), not need-based.
I appreciate the explanation! I promise you that I do not come from a family of Bloombergs. I was able to leave my father off of college aid applications (received a Pell Grant for documented financial need). I guess what I am trying to say is that I will never in a million years receive a cent from him. I don't think he would even respond to my request for his finances for an aid application. Is there really no room for nuance in the cycle? This is rather disheartening to hear.
 

LizzyM

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If you are admitted to medical school and if you are to be considered for need based grant money raised by the school, the school could make your parents' financial info a requirement for aid. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

It is curious to me that your father and mother had court battles but the court never required that your non-custodial parent provide child support. Very curious. That said. you should know that some schools will ask for info about both parents unless there is a very good reason why you can't and you'll have to provide verification.
 
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viralhiker

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If you are admitted to medical school and if you are to be considered for need based grant money raised by the school, the school could make your parents' financial info a requirement for aid. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

It is curious to me that your father and mother had court battles but the court never required that your non-custodial parent provide child support. Very curious. That said. you should know that some schools will ask for info about both parents unless there is a very good reason why you can't and you'll have to provide verification.
Discussing the result of 18 years of custody and child support battles wasn't exactly my point in making this post; however, yes, the courts did order my father to pay child support. The notion that nearly 7 years later, I have to list his finances on my application is ludicrous to me. But, so be it. I hope I can convince someone down the line, but you are totally right - I gotta get accepted first! I'll try not to think about it too much until it is actually an issue. Thanks!
 
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LizzyM

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My father never provided me financial support despite making six figures.
the courts did order my father to pay child support. A few hundred dollars a month helped....

Be very careful that about making statements that might be considered inaccurate or exaggerated.
 
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