MD Feeling Incredibly Lonely in Medical School

[canmed96]

Just finished orientation week and forced my introverted self to go out to every event. Exchanged some numbers and kind of got invited to some things but i feel like none of my conversations can get past a superficial point.


I lived with strict parents the last 4 years and never went out so now i dont know how to have fun at bars/clubs. I was depressed my last year of undergrad cause i felt that i never got have "college" fun and medical school would be my chance to redeem that.


Please help me, i don't want to go through the next 4 like the last 4. All these people seem so talented, with hobbies like singing, guitar, and a bunch of stuff outside of medicine whereas all i do is lift.

Everybody seems to be laughing and having never-ending convos at the bars but i cant get past boring 2-3 basic question exchanges (where are you from, how do you like it here etc". I freeze up after that and the convos awkwardly end.

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[deleted407021]

First off, congratulations on getting into med school! What you’re saying 100% makes sense, but you’re not the only person who feels this way and there’s nothing wrong with being introverted and focusing on school or having a small but consistent set of hobbies. But med school can be a blank slate and you might just need time to adjust to the new environment.

Go to your school’s counselor and make sure your depression is being taken care of and focus on the work you’re about to have thrown your way. I think you’ll find that you start to settle in with your classmates and make use of the little time you have off after exams to engage with those around you who are going through the same thing. The med school experience can be very uniting. Maybe try using that to branch out and make connections.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. I promise none of us have it totally figured out, not even the most confident-appearing among us.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

Don’t worry about it. If you got invited to things that’s already a good start. Don’t force conversations and treat every small conversation as a success. That way you will gain confidence.


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[Roadhouse]

Hang in there. It gets a lot better. Orientation is a lame forced interaction but we’ve all done it and it’s part of the process. Both medical school and friendship building are marathons, not sprints. You’ll meet some great people over the next 4 years (and definitely some insufferable ones). Work hard, keep an open mind, and get some exercise. Pick one night a week to take completely off and not do anything school related - go see a movie, grab drinks, go to a concert, play video games, whatever.

If you do truly feel like you are depressed instead of just normal social anxiety then go speak to a professional.

 

[wanderingorion]

All of the initial conversations are superficial (What was your major? Where are you from? etc.), but everyone has to start somewhere. Follow-up with the people you exchanged information with. Do something with them school-related or otherwise. You have to establish these connections early, before the "newness" is replaced by constant studying. It's always a little awkward at first. Just try and get out of your head a little, and it'll all go swimmingly!

 

[workaholic181]

I kind of felt the same first few weeks when the main thing was going out. Now that school is for real it's changed a lot and I've gotten to know several of my classmates through the shared experience of suffering through the material together lol. Just be true to yourself, get involved in things you genuinely like and everything else will fall into place. If bars aren't your scene, more power to you.

 

[raiderette]

Now that you have made acquaintance, follow up with additional questions. Go to SIG meetings, make friends with people in anatomy and small group. You will be able to talk about shared experiences. Not everyone laughing is happy either, they are also nervous. You don't have to be the life of the party-one or two friends can be enough.

 

[Psai]

Friends are temporary. Gunning is forever

 

[atomi]

A lot of people in med school are very, very insecure.

If you’re in a college town and 22-25 years old perhaps consider joining some on campus clubs and signing up for an intramural sport. You will meet some other undergrads and grad students you might like and can have fun with without the cliques of med school. If you’re on a med campus only maybe meet up with some people from dental pharm pt nursing schools etc.