Feeling super discouraged about being away from my college for so long...

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My honest opinion, you're looking at the negative with a magnifying glass. Do you really think most of your classmates have cozied up to professors in the semester you were gone? Do you truly believe that because you have one less semester to get LORs your app will be negatively impacted? For reference, my LORs came from science profs I had the semester or two before I applied. Only a micro minority of students have truly built relationships with professors and if they have it's been via research, which you still have ample time to do. Basically same with leadership positions and long term volunteering. When people talk about those things needing to be long term, they mean it will be bad-obvious if you did all your pre-med requirements in the semester before you applied. Adcoms really aren't looking for if you were involved with each activity for all 8 semesters of a traditional undergraduate career.

Your classmates could have the similar insecurities looking at you and your application. I definitely wondered if it would look better if I'd lived abroad or learned another language. We all have a limited amount of time and energy. As long as you've stayed busy the whole time, you have nothing to worry about. I agree you need clinical but otherwise keep up what you're doing.
 
So you are applying in June 23 for a start 2024? I hope that’s your plan because your ECs need tweaking.. You are going to have to find some shadowing. Hopefully there will be opportunities when you return from Amsterdam. Your nonclinical volunteer seems to be all campus based. In fact it should be focused on the unserved/underserved in the community. So you really need to get off campus and out of your comfort zone. Stretch your views of people who need help.
As to clinical experiences I’m not sure what you do as a Behavioral Health Tech. Where do you work? A hospital, a school, a clinic, behavioral center? Usually autistic kids aren’t considered sick. They are kids that need special services to participate in society. And I’m not sure what your two week attendance at a primary care seminar talking with doctors and med students contributes to clinical experience that should be face to face interaction with sick, injured and dying.
You have time to fill these gaps if you try hard enough. Good luck as you return to your own college.
 
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I’ve learned (the hard way) that it’s impossible to change the past, so there is no point in ruminating over things that have already happened (unless you’re analyzing for the sake of changing future behavior). For example, I should be an M3 already, but now I don’t even know if I’ll be able to attend medical school (waiting on 10 decisions at the moment) as a result of a past mistake. I spent the past two years fixating on the past and only recently have I realized the futility of these thoughts.

From what I can tell, you have good peripherals and an idea of why you would like to pursue medicine. It should come as a relief that you still have 2+ years to fill in gaps on your application. Focus on building up clinical experiences, volunteering, and leadership. If you do that, you’re well on your way to medical school.
 
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Just wanted to say thank you all for your replies...I really appreciate it. I think I tend to get stuck in a ruminating cycle when it comes to med school stuff. I am going to work hard this semester to fill in some gaps and work on shadowing + volunteer work. Luckily I'll have the gap year to do this as well. Thanks for the insight!
 
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