I will be honest, I hate it (not the people, the decision) when people avoid it for emotional reasons. Of course, it is their choice and I respect that it is their choice. And on some level I understand. But I see some cases that holy ****, we could really learn something and help the next animal that comes in with this disease and it just.....argh.
I see your point, and again don't disagree about the value of what you do. However, the feelings of pathologists/researchers and possible advances in medicine are way less important to me personally than the feelings of the grieving people in front of me. I offer necropsies and post mortem diagnostics, but if the owner doesn't want it, I don't think negatively of their decision. If it's a case where I really wanted to know what happened, I ask if they would mind if I post'd the animal even if they didn't want to know. If they say no, I let it go and don't think twice about it.
If every owner knew every little thing that was involved in a necropsy, you are right, 90% of them would probably not want to do it. And that would blow the tires out of a lot of medical education, treatment optimization, disease characterization, etc that veterinary medicine desperately needs and will always need because we don't have the funds of human medicine.
I'm not advocating that they know or find out. And I certainly don't explain these things to the owners unprompted. I don't in any way dissuade owners from pursuing a necropsy or not recommend it because of that. I think it is better that they not know. I was just explaining why I personally did not like being on the floor. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.
As an aside, this is another area I find very difficult. I'm mostly research right now but I moonlight weekend call to keep my skills up. Part of that entails doing intake on outside cases, so I have had my fair share of upset or crying or yelling owners calling me because their dog/cat/horse/whatever just up and died. Where I did residency, I never had to talk to owners - the emergency people took in postmortems. I just came in the next day and did them. Having to speak directly with agitated/upset owners is not something I feel I am good at because I feel like I can't empathize enough. If it was actually during the euthanasia process that might be different. But when it's already dead....I mean...to me, it's just dead. Do you (and not just you, the question is open to anyone) have any...I don't know, tips? For dealing with this? I feel like I never say the right things, or I sound like I'm treating them like a kid who dropped their juicebox or something.
For some reason, these are the cases where I get random gifts and cards of gratitude more often than not, so I think it can make a huge difference to the owner to have someone talk to them. I'm always amazed when I get a heartfelt thank you from a non client that presented a DOA that I literally spoke with for 10 min, that I personally didn't think much of. Because I had no real involvement with the case, I usually don't even remember until someone tells me that it was the DOA from last tues or whatever. I swear I get fewer thank yous from the patients I performed medical miracles on...
I usually start out expressing my condolences and ask what happened. And I do try to ask questions here and there to show that I am invested in understanding what's going on. Usually these cases for me come for death confirmation and body disposal, and sending in for necropsy at the teaching hospital an hour away is not something they're interested in. If it was an unexpected death situation, the owners really want some sort of plausible explanation. When I first eval the dead patient, I usually do a PE to see if I can get clues as to cause of death. For a pet with distended abdomen, I'll quickly do a quick stick to see if there's effusion. I obviously tell the owners I can't tell for sure what happened, but I try my best to put together a plausible story or two for what happened based on the PE, signalment, and history. A lot of people get a good amount of closure from that. For my cases, they usually don't really care what actually happened, but there's some void and discord that somehow disappears when a possible explanation is presented.
I also ask if they've had the pet since it was a puppy/kitten and comment on how lucky they were to have had such a wonderful home, or the long loving life they've had. I let them share the puppy stories and whatnot. If it was a rescue, I comment on that. If it was an untimely death, I comment on what a bummer that was.
If they were feeling any sort of guilt, I try to assuage that (unless it really was a case of neglect, then I don't... but either way, I don't say anything to make them feel guilty.)
I guess the best clinical comparison (and it's not the most accurate comparison but it's the closest thing I could come up with) to how I feel on the matter is say you have a dog with cancer, and you know that chemo could make a difference, but the owner is all "Oh, I don't want to put them through it etc etc"...you know it is their decision but it is frustrating. Again, not a perfect comparison, but that's the type of frustration I feel when I hear people (not directed specifically at anyone here, just in general) talking about how horrible/gross/whatever necropsy is and how they would never have it done.
I think this is where you and I differ. As long as the pet is euthanized at an appropriate time without prolonged suffering, it doesn't matter to me what treatment the owner chooses to take or not to take as long as they are informed decisions for whatever reason they have. If the "I don't want to put her through it" is euphemism for the owner doesn't want to deal with it, fine I don't care. If it's because they think the pet will actually feel ill from chemo or whatever, I will address that because otherwise that's not a well informed decision. The diabetics that won't go on insulin, FLUTD/blocked cats, or the untreated hyperthyroid or cruciate pets suck... But at least they're coming in to be evaluated and counseled. And as much as it's not optimal, euthanasia is always a legitimate treatment option if rehoming isn't a viable option and QOL is a problem. Unless the pet is being neglected to the point of suffering (broken bone/ruptured eye with no care, etc...), I let it go. I can't let these things bother me or else I will literally go mental.
We try to treat them with as much respect as you detailed above, but because of the nature of what we have to do to them it simply can't physically be as "nice" or gentle.
I don't think I ever said that you don't try or can. It doesn't change that I don't like it, which again is personal preference/emotional response. Really is not a critique of you or what you do. Sorry if it seemed that way. I don't mean to offend with my feelings.
