FUNNIest letter of rejection!!!!!!!!!!

[francisdoss]

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A had a pile of letter of rejection but this one ( from Dartmouth) is the funniest crap i've ever read in my life..I bet anyone got anything funnier than this
"dear X,
I am writing to share what i believe will be disapointing news. The admissions committe at DMS has considered with care yoiur application for admission. Unfortunetely we are unable to offer you a place in our next entering class. We very much appreciate the time you spent CRAFTING and COMPILING your application and the interest you have shown in DMS. Our small class size dictates that we must limit acceptances to a FRUSTRATINGLY small proportion of those seeking acceptance here. I can asure you that your application was considered with THOROUGHNESS and care DESPITE THIS DISAPOINTING OUTCOME.
We do hope that you will find the opportunities you seek for medical school and beyond, and appreciate the CHANCE WE HAVE HAD TO LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOU"
A. G. X, MD, Director of Admissions." :laugh

 

[BaylorGuy]

Letters of rejection are so formal and over the top.

I'm waiting for the letter of rejection that is just on normal letterhead and says the following

"Dear X,
You suck, we picked someone else. Tough ****.
Director of Admissions"

 

[potato51]

Letters of rejection are so formal and over the top.

I'm waiting for the letter of rejection that is just on normal letterhead and says the following

"Dear X,
You suck, we picked someone else. Tough ****.
Director of Admissions"

hahaha... I'd far more respect that kind of rejection than the "alas! cruel fate keeps us from accepting you!" type of letters.

 

[StevenRF]

Exactly. These rediculous macro'ed letters are BS. If they really went through your application thuroughly, they would have put the reasons for your rejection, what your were lacking, etc. If the only care they are going to put into your letter is for the comp to insert your name after Dear, they mine as well just do this:

Dear (Name),

No.

Sincerely,
(Name of secretary who actually made the thing)

 

[Jack Swift]

Exactly. These rediculous macro'ed letters are BS. If they really went through your application thuroughly, they would have put the reasons for your rejection, what your were lacking, etc. If the only care they are going to put into your letter is for the comp to insert your name after Dear, they mine as well just do this:

Dear (Name),

No.

Sincerely,
(Name of secretary who actually made the thing)

hahah nice

 

[maria219]

Exactly. These rediculous macro'ed letters are BS. If they really went through your application thuroughly, they would have put the reasons for your rejection, what your were lacking, etc. If the only care they are going to put into your letter is for the comp to insert your name after Dear, they mine as well just do this:

Dear (Name),

No.

Sincerely,
(Name of secretary who actually made the thing)

Yeah a good one would be:
Dear (Name),

What were you thinking when you applied here? BTW, thanks for the secondary application fee!

Sincerely,
Whoever

 

[peace84]

A had a pile of letter of rejection but this one ( from Dartmouth) is the funniest crap i've ever read in my life..I bet anyone got anything funnier than this
"dear X,
I am writing to share what i believe will be disapointing news. The admissions committe at DMS has considered with care yoiur application for admission. Unfortunetely we are unable to offer you a place in our next entering class. We very much appreciate the time you spent CRAFTING and COMPILING your application and the interest you have shown in DMS. Our small class size dictates that we must limit acceptances to a FRUSTRATINGLY small proportion of those seeking acceptance here. I can asure you that your application was considered with THOROUGHNESS and care DESPITE THIS DISAPOINTING OUTCOME.
We do hope that you will find the opportunities you seek for medical school and beyond, and appreciate the CHANCE WE HAVE HAD TO LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOU"
A. G. X, MD, Director of Admissions." :laugh

that is so hilarious

 

[PariPari]

Yeah a good one would be:
Dear (Name),

What were you thinking when you applied here? BTW, thanks for the secondary application fee!

Sincerely,
Whoever

i like this one, along w/ the simple NO.


Dear [insert name]

It's not you. It's us. We don't want to hold you back from your fabulous future at another school.
(& please erase our email/phone number/contact details, no one likes a stalker).

 

[ladydoc2be]

Dear (Name),

No.

Sincerely,
(Name of secretary who actually made the thing)

haha that's funny! You're right all we need is a yes or no. They can save all that fake bullsh*t.

 

[drmota]

Dear (name),

good one! i'll be sure to tell my friends.

Sincerely,
Admissions director

-mota

 

[UNC-or-BUST]

Vandy has the best:
Dear Failure,
We recieved your application. You suck,
V

 

[Medikit]

I got this rejection letter when I was applying, it didn't exactly say this but it's what my brain interpreted:

Dear Medikit,

We here at the medical school closest to your hometown realize that you spent more time and thought on our application than any other. We know that since the age of 13 it has been your dream to attend this school. We know that whenever you dreamt about actually being a medical student we were the school first and foremost in your mind. Unfortunetly we hate you and want you to die. For this reason we are rejecting your application via e-mail one week after you broke up with your girlfriend on this Thanksgiving eve 2004. You are absolutely worthless and we expect other schools to recognize this as well.

Sincerely for the rest of your miserable life,

Director of Admissions

 

[LucidSplash]

All of these are so hilarious!! More rejection letters!

What about Emory?

Dear LucidSplash,

We're done interviewing now and we didn't get to your file. Gee, I guess that means you're rejected! Hope this e-mail finds you well.

With love,

E 😍

 

[kirexhana]

All of these are so hilarious!! More rejection letters!

What about Emory?

Dear LucidSplash,

We're done interviewing now and we didn't get to your file. Gee, I guess that means you're rejected! Hope this e-mail finds you well.

With love,

E 😍

gee, are they going to return your money? that sucks balls.

 

[UNC-or-BUST]

Oh can't forget Tulane:

Dear non-affected resident of a land locked state,

Yes yes, Duke interviewed you, Baylor interviewed you, lots of grea schools interviewd you. However, we are sorry to inform you that we no longer have a medical school. It was washed away by god for the evil sex orgies we had while gambling away our feeble souls, or so says Pat Roberson. Anyways, we feel you likely applied to our school as a back up. Right? Ok, so this doesn't hurt, does it? Please, as you choose a medical school and likely a legitimate school, unlike Tulane, don't vote for Hilary Clinton. Lesbians don't belong in the White House, unless its the Oval Office while the witnesses, I mean Presidential staff, is away the the first lady is taking care of the children or knitting or cooking or whatever women do when they are away from men....blah blah blah... oh sorry this is a waste of your time, just like you wasted ours with your back up application. Be sure to watch South Park tonight, 10:00pm eastern time, mmmm mexican food is awesome.....

A pure waste of space,
Tulane


I was rejected pre-interview at a school the doesn't exisit and spent three days fixing that place up.... oh well rable rable rable

 

[CatsandCradles]

Since everyone here is putting up angry and funny letters of rejection.... Here's how I have predicted my rejection letter will look like:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine
Office of Admissions
4170 City Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19131 March 22, 2006

Dear John Doe,

We regret to inform you that you were not selected to attend Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine beginning this fall of 2006. The process of selection was careful and there were many people such as you, who would certainly make excellent and credible physicians that were not selected.

As the admission's committee officer, I want to emphasize to you that PCOM places emphasis on many factors when selecting from a list of many qualified candidates. This year it was our college policy to give Pennsylvania students a higher priority to out of state students. As well as in state preference, we are continuously striving to meet the educational needs of students who are in need of financial need. Again, it is regrettable that we must choose from so few from a very bright and capable crowd of candidates.

If you wish to contact me or any of the staff of the admissions committee here at PCOM, please do not hesitate to do so. Our admission office number is 1-800-999-6998. Our email is [email protected]. We would be more than happy to talk to you on what you can do to improve yourself as a candidate for medical school. If you are interest in any other programs that are offered at PCOM we would be more than happy to talk to you about them.

To end, I wish you the very best and hope you fulfill your dreams of becoming a physician.

Sincerely yours,
Jane Doe
PCOM director and officer of admissions.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[LucidSplash]

gee, are they going to return your money? that sucks balls.

Well I'm sure they did look at it briefly. But the e-mail said "we have finished our interview season" or something close to it. I interpolated the rest.

 

[maria219]

Well I'm sure they did look at it briefly. But the e-mail said "we have finished our interview season" or something close to it. I interpolated the rest.

Emory actually lost my application (and LORs) and notified me around Feb. although I was complete in Oct....
hmmm....
I guess they were never able to get around to my app.....automatic rejection as well i guess 🙂

 

[BaylorGuy]

Dear (name),

good one! i'll be sure to tell my friends.

Sincerely,
Admissions director

-mota

Aye Aye...its good to see people take a joke once in a while.

P.S.---i hate that adcom so much

 

[gostudy]

I also put in a vote for the simple "No."

I don't get why the schools go through the trouble constructing these verbose letters. What do they think we are a bunch of babies? (well some premeds are) But still, give us the big fat NO and let us get on with our lives. I would actually be more insulted by a verbose rejection than a simple one.

I'm still waiting on this letter though:

Dear gostudy,

What had happened wuz me and the other deans and them looked over your application and stuff and we kinda figured that like some other people are better than you.

 

[QofQuimica]

Dear Q,

We are sorry to inform you that we cannot offer you a place in the entering class of 2006. We realize that you are finishing your Ph.D. in chemistry with a 4.0 GPA, and that you scored exceptionally well on the MCAT. However, since your pre-requisite courses were taken pass/fail and you have no credit hours or GPA for them, the committee had some concerns about your ability to handle our rigorous medical school curriculum. We recommend that you complete a post-bac before re-applying to demonstrate that you can earn As in the undergraduate pre-requisite courses, and we wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Regards,
Medical School Admissions Office

*******

I really did get told at one school to complete a post-bac if I wanted to make my application more competitive.

 

[kirexhana]

Dear Kirexhana,

We regret to inform you that you have been rejected. but on to more important issues. Does this font make my letter look fat? Seriously. Cuz I wanted to be sure to look perfect for the accepted kids. here, let me do some samples and then you can tell me which would you prefer if you were accepted.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

What do you think? The last one right? I was thinking maybe number three. it's all cheerful and bubbly, perfect for an acceptance.

Oh btw, I just wanted to make sure we're clear on this, you're not invited to my second look, cuz see, all the cool applicants are going to be there and i don't want you to stink up the place. you know how it is, right? now... shoo, get out of my sight.

Toodles,

Director of Admissions



P.S. What about this one?

Congratulations!

 

[Depakote]

Dear Depakote,

Your application has offended our honor. We're sending some guys to your house to straighten you out.

Sincerely,

 

[Chronic Student]

Dear Chronic Student,

We are very happy to inform you that you were NOT accepted at our school! Seriously, we're gonna frame this one. You've got balls, I'll give you that.

We would consider your apllication in the future if:

1. War or disease selectively kills-off all the smart ones.

2. God asked us as a personal favor.

or

3. You somehow become fabulously wealthy or marry well and donate a new multi-billion dollar state of the art research facility to this school. Not named after you, naturally.

We look forward to forgetting you and hope you bugger-off!

-Us

 

[Tallychem]

I recieved a letter of rejection from Baylor today.
I didn't even bother filling out Baylor's secondary but 6 months later, they reject me anyways. Almost like they went out of their way....
Ha! I outsmarted them, I never sent them the money to "officially" reject me!
I guess I can look forward to more letters of rejections from schools I never applied to.

 

[etf]

NYU's is the best - it just showed up as a $100 charge on the american express statement...

 

[Hari Kari]

Dear Chronic Student,

We are very happy to inform you that you were NOT accepted at our school! Seriously, we're gonna frame this one. You've got balls, I'll give you that.

We would consider your apllication in the future if:

1. War or disease selectively kills-off all the smart ones.

2. God asked us as a personal favor.

or

3. You somehow become fabulously wealthy or marry well and donate a new multi-billion dollar state of the art research facility to this school. Not named after you, naturally.

We look forward to forgetting you and hope you bugger-off!

-Us

I was excited when I got that one: I thought that it was personalized to me. I guess it's just another form letter after all...lazy bastards.

 

[yorrig.]

Dear Highly Qualified Candidate:

The Admissions Committe has met to review your application. This year, a lot of many highly qualified students applied. You are one of the highly qualified applicants. Unfortunately we don't have enough space for everybody, and we cannot offer you a spot. Again, you were highly qualified. This year we anticipate having an even more highly qualified student body. We will have an excellent class, just filled with brilliant minds, compassionate souls, and hard workers. We are regretful that you will not be part of this great, privileged group of students. They will have great opportunities after they graduate.

We do wish you the best of luck in your pursuits to become a physician. You are highly qualified and are confident you will be granted admission to a medical school, even if it's in the Caribbean, where medical education is poor and where resources are horrible.

Sincerely,

The Admissions Committee

 

[Oculus Sinistra]

It could be sooo easy. If your name was Chris, for example...


Dear Harvard Medical School,

Yes?

Sincerely,
Chris

3 weeks later:


Dear Chris,

Nah.

Sincerely,
Harvard Medical School

 

[NapeSpikes]

...I wanted to be sure to look perfect for the accepted kids. here, let me do some samples and then you can tell me which would you prefer if you were accepted.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

What do you think? ...

 

[peaceman]

Dear relatively-smart kid,

Have you ever met someone and, after speaking to them for awhile, decided they weren't good enough to be your friend?

... can you see where I'm going w/ this?

Sincerely,

Bleh Bleh Medical School

 

[NapeSpikes]

Dear relatively-smart kid,

Have you ever met someone and, after speaking to them for awhile, decided they weren't good enough to be your friend?

... can you see where I'm going w/ this?

Sincerely,

Bleh Bleh Medical School

You guys are too good.

 

[Hari Kari]

Dear Wretched Waste of ATP:

Do you remember when you were small, and you would take great delight when your mother played peak-a-boo with you? Fun times they were.

Now we'd like to introduce a new game to you. It's called Hide and Go F@%* Yourself.

Yours when hell freezes over,
The Drunken Shriners

PS Don't play that game too often; Harvard studies have shown that repeated contests can result in blindness.

 

[45408]

Dear poor pre-med,

Your secondary fee went to building that new wine cellar in the admissions office. Thanks!


-Not the dean whose name is on the letter

 

[TexPre-Med]

This is the best yet. You know how in Texas there is a match system right? Well Texas A&M sends rejection letters out to people that didn't match 2 days after they find out that they matched elsewhere. No S*** sherlock! Wanna cookie?

 

[LabMonster]

Dear Depakote,

Your application has offended our honor. We're sending some guys to your house to straighten you out.

Sincerely,

Good stuff


My brain stopped functioning after I read ".....we're sorry...." - a few have it right. It should just be YES or NO, after all, who really cares how they feel.

 

[drmota]

Oh can't forget Tulane:

Dear non-affected resident of a land locked state,

Yes yes, Duke interviewed you, Baylor interviewed you, lots of grea schools interviewd you. However, we are sorry to inform you that we no longer have a medical school. It was washed away by god for the evil sex orgies we had while gambling away our feeble souls, or so says Pat Roberson. Anyways, we feel you likely applied to our school as a back up. Right? Ok, so this doesn't hurt, does it? Please, as you choose a medical school and likely a legitimate school, unlike Tulane, don't vote for Hilary Clinton. Lesbians don't belong in the White House, unless its the Oval Office while the witnesses, I mean Presidential staff, is away the the first lady is taking care of the children or knitting or cooking or whatever women do when they are away from men....blah blah blah... oh sorry this is a waste of your time, just like you wasted ours with your back up application. Be sure to watch South Park tonight, 10:00pm eastern time, mmmm mexican food is awesome.....

A pure waste of space,
Tulane


I was rejected pre-interview at a school the doesn't exisit and spent three days fixing that place up.... oh well rable rable rable

you could've at least made this funny
-mota

 

[BaylorGuy]

Dear Q,

We are sorry to inform you that we cannot offer you a place in the entering class of 2006. We realize that you are finishing your Ph.D. in chemistry with a 4.0 GPA, and that you scored exceptionally well on the MCAT. However, since your pre-requisite courses were taken pass/fail and you have no credit hours or GPA for them, the committee had some concerns about your ability to handle our rigorous medical school curriculum. We recommend that you complete a post-bac before re-applying to demonstrate that you can earn As in the undergraduate pre-requisite courses, and we wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Regards,
Medical School Admissions Office

Dear so and so,

Seriously...we understand you are awesome and have figured out the cure to cancer in addition to traveling to the moon and figuring out a time warp, but that time in 7th grade when you pulled Suzie's hair too hard is just too much for us to offer you a spot in our glorious, glorious institution. Also, your fingernails were 2 mm too long.

Sincerely,
The school you had no chance at

 

[Law2Doc]

Letters of rejection are so formal and over the top.

I'm waiting for the letter of rejection that is just on normal letterhead and says the following

"Dear X,
You suck, we picked someone else. Tough ****.
Director of Admissions"

I know someone who applied for a law job a few years back and the letter concluded:

"We wish you the best of luck in a career in the food service industry"

 

[nefarious]

Dear Applicant X,

Please meet Applicant Y. Applicant Y graduated with… (excessive lauding of Y accompanied by Y’s sad, black and white application head shot).

Your $100 secondary application fee (just 27 cents a day!) helps support such outstanding applicants as Y with much needed plane tickets and lodging for second look weekends, champagne brunches, scholarships, and unnecessary gifts—all of which assist us in the fight to woo such exceptional individuals to our prestigious institution.

You have made a difference! Y’s future (and ours) is all the brighter for your selfless contributions.

Sincerely,
Admissions

 

[RxnMan]

My favorite is still:

Dear RxnMan,

***** please.

Sincerely,

ADCOMs

 

[jebus]

NYU's is the best - it just showed up as a $100 charge on the american express statement...

Why did this one make me laugh so much?
Oh, it's funny because it's true.

 

[Thundrstorm]

My favorite is still:

Dear RxnMan,

***** please.

Sincerely,

ADCOMs

This is my favorite too! I told my family about it, and when we discuss my apps, they keep looking at me and saying "***** please" and cracking up.

 

[NunoBR]

I actually really liked Upenn.
I didnt' get an interview and when it came time for decisions they sent email to a link to their application website and it said NOT ACCEPTED.
Plain and simple, no need to wait for a letter.

It was too bad I didn't get an interview though.

 

[Psychoanalyzed]

I thought I had to share this one. It went something like this. First of all , it was an email:

Dear X,
After careful consideration of your application, we regret that we cannot offer you a position on our incoming class. Blah Blah Blah....

If you would like an official rejection in the mail, please respond to this email and our offices will act accordingly.


Why would one need an official rejection in the mail? So one can add to the portfolio of disappointments? Like one cannot print the email....
Maybe it's the letter head or stamp one might like....

 

[Psychoanalyzed]

My favorite is still:

Dear RxnMan,

***** please.

Sincerely,

ADCOMs

In modern day america, this calls for a lawsuit. Then they wonder why people don't fill in the race option. Its advantageous to be minority, but then sometimes not.

I know you made it up...funny ****.

 

[Psychoanalyzed]

Anyone ever see an acceptance that went along the lines of:

Dear X,
After a unanimous vote, we have decided that you belong at our school. Please send me your phone number so that we can discuss why you should be here.

That's not verbatim but it was Johns Hopkins and the email was to my boyfriend. They practically implied that he had to go there and they were willing to call him to persuade him to do so. I guess they must not have a rejection folder... 🙂

 

[Psychoanalyzed]

It could be sooo easy. If your name was Chris, for example...


Dear Harvard Medical School,

Yes?

Sincerely,
Chris

3 weeks later:


Dear Chris,

Nah.

Sincerely,
Harvard Medical School

I never laughed so hard before....gosh....I guess premed students have senses of humor!!!

 

[RxnMan]

I thought I had to share this one. It went something like this. First of all , it was an email:

Dear X,
After careful consideration of your application, we regret that we cannot offer you a position on our imcoming class. Blah Blah Blah....

If you would like on official rejection in the mail, please respond to this email and our offices will act accordingly.


Why would one need an official rejection in the mail? So one can add to the portfolio of disappointments? Like one cannot print the email....
Maybe it's the letter head or stamp one might like....

You can do like I do, and plan grand, artistic endeavours with your rejections.

Or you can use them for kindling (or a bonfire, depending on how many you get).

 

[lilmissangel]

Dear [insert name]

It's not you. It's us. We don't want to hold you back from your fabulous future at another school.
(& please erase our email/phone number/contact details, no one likes a stalker).

I love this one!!!