Getting Married

[moonflwr]

I need a little advice. I recently got engaged to my boyfriend D) and now I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to have the actual wedding. I know this is probably program specific, but when would be the best time to have it? I know I would need to take at least a couple of weeks off around the wedding and I'm not sure when it would be easiest for me to do that. I'm thinking it would probably be next summer (the summer after my first year) but I really want to get married in the fall, do you guys think that would be possible?

I was thinking I should probably ask someone in my program. Would it be weird if I asked my mentor? Or should I maybe ask another grad student?

I have no idea what I'm doing here

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[73BARMYPgsp]

I need a little advice. I recently got engaged to my boyfriend D) and now I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to have the actual wedding. I know this is probably program specific, but when would be the best time to have it? I know I would need to take at least a couple of weeks off around the wedding and I'm not sure when it would be easiest for me to do that. I'm thinking it would probably be next summer (the summer after my first year) but I really want to get married in the fall, do you guys think that would be possible?

I was thinking I should probably ask someone in my program. Would it be weird if I asked my mentor? Or should I maybe ask another grad student?

I have no idea what I'm doing here

I am not sure if this is the case with your program, but when I was a first year, a bunch of us were sitting around looking at the timeline to internship (all of the classes, clinical work, comps, etc from years 1-3) and we came this realization-The summer after first year is the LAST time we will have any time off for several years. It turned out to be accurate. Hope that helps.

 

[73BARMYPgsp]

Oh, I almost forgot. Congratulations.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

The summer after first year is the LAST time we will have any time off for several years.

Ditto.

You will still be busy, but it seems there could be more flexibility here....depending on when/if you will be seeing client (many programs start in the 2nd year).

ps. Congrats!

 

[erg923]

I agree, this is when I got married as well

 

[Ollie123]

If you don't start seeing clients til second year, summer of first year is good.

That being said, while you may not have on-the-books time off after your first year, that doesn't mean you can't take 2 weeks off. You may have clients you need to arrange coverage for, and you might have to bring your cell phone for emergencies, but real psychologists take vacations too.

Taking a sizable amount of time off in the fall would be hard until you're done with classes (typically around 4th year) - even then I wouldn't say its easy, but probably more doable than when you're in class.

I'd talk to students first. Your advisor likely either won't know, or will say "After you're tenured " (the latter not so much....although some might....). Once you have an idea, obviously you need to let them know, but I'd walk into that meeting with some prior knowledge of how students have done it in the past.

 

[RayneeDeigh]

It depends on the program. For instance, my program's first year is packed full of courses and then you work full-time in the summer doing a practicum. After that you have summers off to do as you please (it's expected that you'll do research). So if you were in my program, you'd want to get married any summer except your first.

There was a girl in my program who was in her 4th year and randomly took off for three weeks in late Fall to get married out of the country. I don't recommend that, I know a lot of people were kinda wondering what the heck she was thinking.

Summer seems like a good choice, or sometimes you can squish in two weeks vacation around Christmas.

 

[ClinPsyD917]

Congratulations! I am getting married next summer, which will be the summer after my second year. I will likely have to take time off practicum, but like Ollie said, everyone takes vacations!

In my program, I know a few people who took a week off school during their first year for a vacation (like extending spring break to 2 weeks), and it was fine. For us, first year is mostly coursework, and generally our professors are VERY understanding and want us to have normal lives (ha ha).

If you want to get married in the fall, and you're not dead set on taking a honeymoon immediately after the wedding, then I think it is even more possible. Take a honeymoon over the winter break! If you are getting married DURING school, it will be difficult and probably more stressful, especially if you're planning the wedding outside of where you're at grad school. But hopefully your fiance (and wedding party, parents, etc) are supportive and helpful, and I don't see why you couldn't do it in the fall. You may not even have to take a whole week off of school, depending on how extravagant of an affair you're talking about. I have a friend who got married in March, and it was fine. He was the groom, however, and the wedding was local and the only guests were the couple's parents. Then he took a week off of school a little later on to go to Mexico for another wedding slash his honeymoon. So, it can be done!

I would talk to someone from your program who is in charge of helping people plan their schedules (like who would you talk to if you had to take a leave of absence) and they would probably be able to help you in thinking about taking time off.

Congrats again. It's so exciting .

 

[psychanon]

I think it varies by program. Typically, the first year (or two years) would be difficult during the academic year, although summer would be OK. After that I think that anytime is fine-- clients certainly understand if you need to take a few weeks off for something like that, especially as they'll have fair warning. The only time that I think would be really difficult would be internship (and note that some internships start in July and others in September, and as you won't know when yours while start until March, you really need to block that whole time off).

 

[moonflwr]

Thanks everyone for the congrats and the advice (and congratulations to you too ClinPsyD917!). After reading your responses, I e-mailed a grad student in my lab about it. She said that the summer after my first year is the best time to do it. Now I just have to worry about trying to juggle my first year and planning a wedding