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I want to preface this post by saying that I am exceptionally grateful to have been accepted into medical school and I can't wait to start, but it has dawned on me all the other dreams which must die off in the face of medicine now. From reading a lot of premed threads on here about being unsure about medicine or unsure about other fields, this made me think introspectively about my career choice in medicine. The following (way longer than intended) post is my personal means to vent about something I am struggling with and writing has always been my personal escape. Hopefully some of you will find it interesting.
Medicine was sort of an unexpected dream in that I was not like some premeds who wanted to do medicine since they were born. There was no truly revolutionary moment in which I can pinpoint what exactly decided my passion towards medicine. That is not to say that I don't have deep personal reasons for heading into a career in medicine but I find it meaningful to mention because before this decision to head into this path took hold, I had many other dreams which I wanted to pursue. Obviously, medicine overshadowed these dreams and was my reason for planning to commit myself to years of slave labor as a medical student and resident 😛 However, I can't help but feel disappointed by the withdrawal from my other dreams and aspirations. I don't regret my decision to choose medicine and I wouldn't even dare entertain the thought of leaving medicine, but I sort of envy non-trads who had time to explore other goals and reflect before deciding on medicine.
I think back though, and I know my decision was never really a choice. There was no free will in the matter, but only the will of medicine to draw me into its trenches. Although I'm sure that seems hyperbolic and metaphoric, that is honestly the best way I can describe why I am passionate about medicine. Yet as I type this, there is another passion pulling at me to regain its attention.
I'm sure on a premed forum this will seem a bit silly, but I had huge aspirations to have a career in boxing. I trained in boxing for the past several years, and the moment I started learning, I just couldn't get enough. I felt at home in the boxing gym. I picked up techniques and skills quickly, and everyday brought improvement. For me what drew me to the sport was the mastery of the art. I wanted to master the boxing technique to absolute perfection. I wanted to be the textbook example of what a boxer does and how a boxer does it. I think most people view boxing in overly simplistic ideas and don't realize the many intricacies of the sport and especially of the technique. I could spend the rest of my life boxing and I'm certain that there would still be more to learn the next day. I think that is what is making me so sad to leave boxing behind. I still have so much to learn and master, and I am leaving before being able to realize my true potential. The most difficult feeling for me is that I honestly believe I had the qualities to be a great participant in the sport. Its hard to leave something you are good at behind, especially when you feel like you could get even better and possibly reach your goal.
In a way, I think what I enjoyed about boxing is also what I will enjoy about medicine. The constant learning and the effort to become a master in a certain field of medicine. I also feel medicine is a much more fulfilling career, because I'd be helping people in the hospital instead of sending them there 😛 In all seriousness though, this has been incredibly tough on me. I think it finally hit me today that once medical school starts, boxing will start to become a distant memory of my youth. I know this is only one of the many sacrifices I will make as I enter medicine. Although my heart sinks at the thought of giving up one dream, it glows with joy knowing I'm entering a career I feel I was destined to do.
Picking a career in medicine can be scary and its not a decision that should be made without careful introspection. As I mentioned earlier, I don't really believe I had a personal choice in the matter and I don't think I could have chosen a different path if I decided to go back. Its hard to rationalize why, but I know in my heart that this is where I am meant to be. Its sort of like trying to explain why your favorite color is your favorite color.
So I guess my ending thought is that if you are trying to decide if medicine is worth it, you need to try to figure out if after giving away those things you love, will the thought of medicine comfort you enough to live without them.
Medicine was sort of an unexpected dream in that I was not like some premeds who wanted to do medicine since they were born. There was no truly revolutionary moment in which I can pinpoint what exactly decided my passion towards medicine. That is not to say that I don't have deep personal reasons for heading into a career in medicine but I find it meaningful to mention because before this decision to head into this path took hold, I had many other dreams which I wanted to pursue. Obviously, medicine overshadowed these dreams and was my reason for planning to commit myself to years of slave labor as a medical student and resident 😛 However, I can't help but feel disappointed by the withdrawal from my other dreams and aspirations. I don't regret my decision to choose medicine and I wouldn't even dare entertain the thought of leaving medicine, but I sort of envy non-trads who had time to explore other goals and reflect before deciding on medicine.
I think back though, and I know my decision was never really a choice. There was no free will in the matter, but only the will of medicine to draw me into its trenches. Although I'm sure that seems hyperbolic and metaphoric, that is honestly the best way I can describe why I am passionate about medicine. Yet as I type this, there is another passion pulling at me to regain its attention.
I'm sure on a premed forum this will seem a bit silly, but I had huge aspirations to have a career in boxing. I trained in boxing for the past several years, and the moment I started learning, I just couldn't get enough. I felt at home in the boxing gym. I picked up techniques and skills quickly, and everyday brought improvement. For me what drew me to the sport was the mastery of the art. I wanted to master the boxing technique to absolute perfection. I wanted to be the textbook example of what a boxer does and how a boxer does it. I think most people view boxing in overly simplistic ideas and don't realize the many intricacies of the sport and especially of the technique. I could spend the rest of my life boxing and I'm certain that there would still be more to learn the next day. I think that is what is making me so sad to leave boxing behind. I still have so much to learn and master, and I am leaving before being able to realize my true potential. The most difficult feeling for me is that I honestly believe I had the qualities to be a great participant in the sport. Its hard to leave something you are good at behind, especially when you feel like you could get even better and possibly reach your goal.
In a way, I think what I enjoyed about boxing is also what I will enjoy about medicine. The constant learning and the effort to become a master in a certain field of medicine. I also feel medicine is a much more fulfilling career, because I'd be helping people in the hospital instead of sending them there 😛 In all seriousness though, this has been incredibly tough on me. I think it finally hit me today that once medical school starts, boxing will start to become a distant memory of my youth. I know this is only one of the many sacrifices I will make as I enter medicine. Although my heart sinks at the thought of giving up one dream, it glows with joy knowing I'm entering a career I feel I was destined to do.
Picking a career in medicine can be scary and its not a decision that should be made without careful introspection. As I mentioned earlier, I don't really believe I had a personal choice in the matter and I don't think I could have chosen a different path if I decided to go back. Its hard to rationalize why, but I know in my heart that this is where I am meant to be. Its sort of like trying to explain why your favorite color is your favorite color.
So I guess my ending thought is that if you are trying to decide if medicine is worth it, you need to try to figure out if after giving away those things you love, will the thought of medicine comfort you enough to live without them.
