Got kids/want kids? When?

Started by neskalee
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curbye said:
that's okay, cats are mean. can we have one dog, pref a shepherd-lab-hound mix?
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Ok ya thats cool. However, it has to be named Mr. Buttons and our house must be near the beach because i plan on being an avid deep sea treasure hunter on the weekends.
 
please stay single until i am a first year resident. thanks.


edit: i hope you are >=6/10
 
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Are boys allowed to be judged on that scale I figured it was exclusive to girls only?? What are the quantifiable qualities of this scale?
 
look in the mirror. do you smile at yourself (kind of that, how you doin smile) automatically after 3sec? you're probably a 6/10 at least
 
isn't it hard being good looking? it's really hard to shop, too, because you can never actually see what the clothes look like before the clerks rip them off your god like body.


i have to go get some beauty sleep now. bye
 
Global Warming said:
Just out of curiousity, and this is not intended to offend you in any way, but would you give up medical school for this person? For example, if you had to choose between being with this person, but could no longer go to medical school...would you stay with him?

I ask because people often fantasize about how much they actually love someone, but never having really put their relationship to the test. It seems to me that you love this guy quite a bit, but perhaps not to the extent that one would love their parents?? Maybe I'm wrong, I could be. Furthermore, if I was forced to choose between my mom or medical school, I would choose my mom. I guess the question is...do you love him as much as someone would love their mother?

Again, I may be completely wrong here, thus proving that your relationship is a fantastic & rare one that should be cherished and protected.
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I suppose I am lucky that I don't need to choose between my marriage and medical school given as though my husband thinks medical school is one of the best ideas I've ever had although he would prefer if I became a lawyer. Our worries about medical school relate more to how are we going to deal with our youngest if I have late classes and he would prefer it if I attempted to become a specialist (so I can make more money) and I am strongly considering family medicine and/or aerospace medicine which are two of the lowest paying areas. He was reasonably supportive of graduate school even though he knew the degree wasn't a very useful one.

My husband rescued me from my mother (and believe me, it was a rescue from abuse), so I would say that I love him more than my mother. I love him more than my father who disowned me too.

Given as though my marriage has survived many things that most marriages don't survive, including several devastating illnesses, various financial problems (including bankruptcies), custody battles, insane work schedules that make an intern's life look easy, and a sex change, I think we've tested ourselves to death and we seem to be stable enough. Anything after this seems to be a piece of cake. I've helped counsel many couples who were having familial difficulties adjusting to college/grad/med school when one partner was in it and the other was not.

Again, I hope you find someone that loves and supports you like my husband does me. Everyone deserves that much.
 
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familyaerospace said:
I suppose I am lucky that I don't need to choose between my marriage and medical school given as though my husband thinks medical school is one of the best ideas I've ever had although he would prefer if I became a lawyer. Our worries about medical school relate more to how are we going to deal with our youngest if I have late classes and he would prefer it if I attempted to become a specialist (so I can make more money) and I am strongly considering family medicine and/or aerospace medicine which are two of the lowest paying areas. He was reasonably supportive of graduate school even though he knew the degree wasn't a very useful one.

My husband rescued me from my mother (and believe me, it was a rescue from abuse), so I would say that I love him more than my mother. I love him more than my father who disowned me too.

Given as though my marriage has survived many things that most marriages don't survive, including several devastating illnesses, various financial problems (including bankruptcies), custody battles, insane work schedules that make an intern's life look easy, and a sex change, I think we've tested ourselves to death and we seem to be stable enough. Anything after this seems to be a piece of cake. I've helped counsel many couples who were having familial difficulties adjusting to college/grad/med school when one partner was in it and the other was not.

Again, I hope you find someone that loves and supports you like my husband does me. Everyone deserves that much.
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First of all, your story sounds amazing and some would even go as far as saying too good to be true. But assuming that, in fact, this is a real story, I applaude your determination and ability to overcome even the toughest obstacles in life. Evidently, you will most likely find that having overcame these impossible obstacles, I agree that med. school will be a POC. I mean come on....all it is is studying. Well compared to the hollywood story you survived.

I bolded sex change b/c this is definitely something that is completely different than anything the typical pre-med will experience. Who had the transformation? Are you going to put that in your personal statement? The reason I ask is simply b/c I have personally never heard of a practicing physician that has had a sex chance (assuming it is you) and would actually be pretty awesome. I think tran-sexuals (I believe this is correct) are often stigmatized in our society, yet this relatively modern phenomenom is made possible by our advance technology and you guessed it, advances in medicine!

Where are you in your pre-med career?
 
Global Warming said:
I bolded sex change b/c this is definitely something that is completely different than anything the typical pre-med will experience. Who had the transformation? Are you going to put that in your personal statement? The reason I ask is simply b/c I have personally never heard of a practicing physician that has had a sex chance (assuming it is you) and would actually be pretty awesome. I think tran-sexuals (I believe this is correct) are often stigmatized in our society, yet this relatively modern phenomenom is made possible by our advance technology and you guessed it, advances in medicine!

Where are you in your pre-med career?
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Many people have called it a Hollywood story. I just think I was very lucky that I met him.

I was the one. Came out in 2002 after three years of marriage, popped out the now-6 year old, was treated so badly by the medical community that I refused to see doctors ever again and I had to have the baby at home. It took years to even come close to trusting any member of the medical profession. I was so desperate to transition that I nearly performed surgery on myself. It was only when I developed epilepsy that I started to see any doctor at all. When I finally got in to see trans friendly doctors I started to really calm down. My family doctor has 20+ years in dealing with this community (he is not trans himself) and he is one of the only ones in the southeastern US. My plastic surgeon went above and beyond the call of duty and he insisted on helping me with more than just surgery and started tackling my fear. Not only is my medical phobia nearly completely gone (I am still scared of needles, but so is my neurologist so I'm not alone) but I now I blamed him (the ps) for me wanting to go to medical school. The only thing that was holding me back in college was my fear of doctors.

I can honestly say I don't know if I am going to use it in my personal statement. I know it is something that is very difficult, but most areas are still not trans supportive. There are three general areas (including work for NASA) that I want to tackle in my personal statement and I am trying to figure what would be the safest thing for me to do. Or whether if I do include it, if I should make it a huge part of the story. Hard to say.

There are several practicing physicians who are transsexual. One of the is Nick Gordon who is out in California and I want to say he is an ER doctor (?). He also wrote a book on HRT for transmen. There is also Marci Bowers who is an obgyn in Colorado and she performs some sex changes.

As for where I am, I have a BS in Biological Anthropology and an MS in Space Studies so I have related degrees in two areas. However, I am going back for a post-bacc because it has been a while since I had Gen Chem and Biology, I never took Orgo, I was exempted from Introductory Physics (I went directly to 400 level course). I basically needed to redo my prereqs. I start that in Fall 2010. MCAT in spring 2011. The post-bacc I'm going into has a linkage with Mercer University, but I'm thinking of not taking advantage because I think I can do better. (I know, it's horribly arrogant of me because I would be giving up a guaranteed spot to try to do better.)

My ECs are kinda strange because I always prepped for a PhD and not an MD. I have 7 years of research experience, 3 publications, 6 conference papers, several years of running my own business, being a life sciences technology transfer consultant, multiple years of teaching including teaching a graduate school course, leadership positions from department level to international committees, and three radio show interviews on my research. I am really behind on medical-related ECs. I only started in October 2009. So far, I have about 50 hours working in the Emergency Room (its really hard to get a volunteer gig in a hospital when you are trans) and 2.5 hours of shadowing my PS. He is trying to find more time to sneak me around the OR. Since I have another year to year and a half, I think I can improve the medical ECs.
 
familyaerospace said:
Many people have called it a Hollywood story. I just think I was very lucky that I met him.

I was the one. Came out in 2002 after three years of marriage, popped out the now-6 year old, was treated so badly by the medical community that I refused to see doctors ever again and I had to have the baby at home. It took years to even come close to trusting any member of the medical profession. I was so desperate to transition that I nearly performed surgery on myself. It was only when I developed epilepsy that I started to see any doctor at all. When I finally got in to see trans friendly doctors I started to really calm down. My family doctor has 20+ years in dealing with this community (he is not trans himself) and he is one of the only ones in the southeastern US. My plastic surgeon went above and beyond the call of duty and he insisted on helping me with more than just surgery and started tackling my fear. Not only is my medical phobia nearly completely gone (I am still scared of needles, but so is my neurologist so I'm not alone) but I now I blamed him (the ps) for me wanting to go to medical school. The only thing that was holding me back in college was my fear of doctors.

I can honestly say I don't know if I am going to use it in my personal statement. I know it is something that is very difficult, but most areas are still not trans supportive. There are three general areas (including work for NASA) that I want to tackle in my personal statement and I am trying to figure what would be the safest thing for me to do. Or whether if I do include it, if I should make it a huge part of the story. Hard to say.

There are several practicing physicians who are transsexual. One of the is Nick Gordon who is out in California and I want to say he is an ER doctor (?). He also wrote a book on HRT for transmen. There is also Marci Bowers who is an obgyn in Colorado and she performs some sex changes.

As for where I am, I have a BS in Biological Anthropology and an MS in Space Studies so I have related degrees in two areas. However, I am going back for a post-bacc because it has been a while since I had Gen Chem and Biology, I never took Orgo, I was exempted from Introductory Physics (I went directly to 400 level course). I basically needed to redo my prereqs. I start that in Fall 2010. MCAT in spring 2011. The post-bacc I'm going into has a linkage with Mercer University, but I'm thinking of not taking advantage because I think I can do better. (I know, it's horribly arrogant of me because I would be giving up a guaranteed spot to try to do better.)

My ECs are kinda strange because I always prepped for a PhD and not an MD. I have 7 years of research experience, 3 publications, 6 conference papers, several years of running my own business, being a life sciences technology transfer consultant, multiple years of teaching including teaching a graduate school course, leadership positions from department level to international committees, and three radio show interviews on my research. I am really behind on medical-related ECs. I only started in October 2009. So far, I have about 50 hours working in the Emergency Room (its really hard to get a volunteer gig in a hospital when you are trans) and 2.5 hours of shadowing my PS. He is trying to find more time to sneak me around the OR. Since I have another year to year and a half, I think I can improve the medical ECs.
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:bow: You are my hero.
 
Thanks, after my life I think medical school and residency is going to be like a vacation. LOL! I've been pulling 100 hour weeks since college.
 
gujuDoc said:
Wow what a story. One question. If you changed to female, how come you have male 28 listed on MD apps instead of listing your current sex. I think I'm confused.
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Wait, what? See bolded part below...

familyaerospace said:
I was the one. Came out in 2002 after three years of marriage, popped out the now-6 year old, was treated so badly by the medical community that I refused to see doctors ever again and I had to have the baby at home...
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Familyaero, thank you for the inspirational story. Best of luck to you in applying to med school and any future endeavors!
 
gujuDoc said:
SDN -- student dating network. bwahahahahaha

And on that note there are people who've met through the lounge forums below at the end of the main forum page in the past.
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The lounge people seem like a pretty tight clique. Some of the threads are hilarious, though. I go there to escape this forum. 😀
 
Not to be rude or anything, and trust me being rude is the last thing on my mind, but you really need to work on your reading comprehension... or your anatomy.

1) Biological males cannot become pregnant. They do not have a uterus. Thomas Beattie "the pregnant man" was a ftm transsexual.
2) I asked you why you believed I became female because you jumped to a conclusion. I know the old phrase is "When you hear hooves, think horse not zebra," but I am a zebra. One in 100,000.
3) Two biological males could not get married 10 years ago.

The only logical course following any of these means I was female originally and changed to become male.
 
You were editing as I was posting.

Yes. I was originally female. I have been through half the process. The process is difficult to complete when doctors do not want to be in the same building as you.
 
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As heart warming as it might be to hold the next gen me in my arms and thinking about what he/she will accomplish; i dont think i want this life until i spent a couple years working.

I wanna get a real nice condo downtown in my fav city at the time, nice car, all the goodies. hopefully i'll be single but if i meet some1 along the way then thats that (cant really plan these things). After throughly enjoying myself for a few years then ill run operation egg invasion.
 
MB333999 said:
As heart warming as it might be to hold the next gen me in my arms and thinking about what he/she will accomplish; i dont think i want this life until i spent a couple years working.

I wanna get a real nice condo downtown in my fav city at the time, nice car, all the goodies. hopefully i'll be single but if i meet some1 along the way then thats that (cant really plan these things). After throughly enjoying myself for a few years then ill run operation egg invasion.
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😱 Is this a heads-up to all females?
 
MB333999 said:
As heart warming as it might be to hold the next gen me in my arms and thinking about what he/she will accomplish; i dont think i want this life until i spent a couple years working.

I wanna get a real nice condo downtown in my fav city at the time, nice car, all the goodies. hopefully i'll be single but if i meet some1 along the way then thats that (cant really plan these things). After throughly enjoying myself for a few years then ill run operation egg invasion.
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i like to call it operation sink or swim
 
It takes 2 people to make a kid. You're obviously taking all the blame off your bf, which is silly. He should know better, especially since this girl had a history of unplanned pregnancies. He should have known better and used proper protection.

I seriously dont know why people put themselves in these situations willingly. A good friend of mine is dating a girl who has TWO sons, ages 1 and 3, and its been a major headache. btw, he's not older and at the end of the line either, he is 24, a CPA and works out and has a charismatic personality, so he can certainly hunt his own here...There are TONS of single people out there without kids in the dating pool....oh well
 
curbye said:
planning on marrying prince charming during residency, buying a swanky apt in heart of downtown, getting pregnant, moving to a charming 5 BR colonial with a picket fence, having 2 boys and 1 girl, dressing them in brooks brothers and polo for kids, going to church every sunday, baking cookies and making their halloween costume, having a date night every 2nd and 4th friday of the month, sending the kids to a nice prep school, giving the kids the birds and the bees talk, taking annual christmas card pictures to send to all our friends, going to my 20th high school reunion, sending the kids to yale, julliard, and amherst/middlebury/wesleyan/wellsley.
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You spelled Juilliard wrong. I only tell you because you're smart and will recognize that we all learn new things every day and that I'm not trying to be an arsehole. 🙂
 
curbye said:
no one wants this perfect life with me???
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Too good to be true.

red10 said:
why is the 4th year a better time for girls than any other year? just wondering

I never really wanted to get married before 25 or have kids before 28 but that biological clock can get us women sometimes.
I feel like my first kid will be unplanned or at least like "well we aren;t trying hard but what happens happens" because it's hard to be like "well this would be a good time to get no sleep and have way too much on my plate" lol
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Haha yeah true 😛

When's the best time for guys to have kids in med school? I know people say "makes no difference" but I like to think that the guy won't make the female do all the work when the kid is born and will be equally stretched trying to keep up with everything. Still 4th year?
 
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familyaerospace said:
I can honestly say I don't know if I am going to use it in my personal statement. I know it is something that is very difficult, but most areas are still not trans supportive. There are three general areas (including work for NASA) that I want to tackle in my personal statement and I am trying to figure what would be the safest thing for me to do. Or whether if I do include it, if I should make it a huge part of the story. Hard to say.
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Please, do not mention it on your application. I say this as a person who has been involved with the lgbt community for years, and I don't mean to cause offense. The American zeitgeist is warming to gay and lesbian rights, but (as I'm sure you're acutely aware) transphobia is still socially acceptable and encouraged. Medicine needs more people like you, please don't let yourself be dismissed by some bigot right out of the gate 🙁
 
MarieMarie said:
Please, do not mention it on your application. I say this as a person who has been involved with the lgbt community for years, and I don't mean to cause offense. The American zeitgeist is warming to gay and lesbian rights, but (as I'm sure you're acutely aware) transphobia is still socially acceptable and encouraged. Medicine needs more people like you, please don't let yourself be dismissed by some bigot right out of the gate 🙁
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Thanks, and yes I am aware, my daughter has been attacked for it by her classmates and I have suffered discrimination. I'm trying to use it as a strength regarding one of the reasons I need to go into medicine. I'm not sure it is a "want" anymore. I practically need it like my body needs oxygen. On a positive note, my postbacc offers a linkage to med school so I can say almost anything I want and I am assured a space at one school. Also I think it might be hard to explain my interest in LGBT health otherwise. Not to mention why my application will be required legally to have the incorrect sex marker on it as it pertains to financial aid.
 
familyaerospace said:
On a positive note, my postbacc offers a linkage to med school so I can say almost anything I want and I am assured a space at one school. Also I think it might be hard to explain my interest in LGBT health otherwise. Not to mention why my application will be required legally to have the incorrect sex marker on it as it pertains to financial aid.
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I understand. Though I'm cis-hetero female, I'm tall, have a deeper voice and I'm assertive. This tends to make people assume I'm a lesbian :laugh: Though I don't find that offensive, the way people/classmates tried to use it as a pejorative is what made me get involved with LGBT stuff.

It's great that you have such strong support system and leg up in admissions. I personally hope to eventually live and practice in one of the few states that respects its citizens. Check out page 3: http://www.hrc.org/documents/HRC_Foundation_State_of_the_Workplace_2007-2008.pdf Then again, I'm hoping the map will be completely navy within the next decade. :xf:

/derail
 
MarieMarie said:
It's great that you have such strong support system and leg up in admissions. I personally hope to eventually live and practice in one of the few states that respects its citizens. Check out page 3: http://www.hrc.org/documents/HRC_Foundation_State_of_the_Workplace_2007-2008.pdf Then again, I'm hoping the map will be completely navy within the next decade. :xf:

/derail
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I'd love the whole map to be navy too but the states I want to practice in are definitely not navy now. Gotta love the Bible Belt. Surprisingly the state I am currently in is one of the best areas for Trans health in the country. I'd like to move back to Florida one day, but malpractice is insane.

I like that I have a guaranteed spot but I am going to use it as a safety school and strive to do better. My CV is full of research and teaching so I could *potentially* have a shot at a top school if my MCAT comes out decent. How many people exactly are going to turn down a researcher whose work is being used at NASA? 😀
 
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