UPDATE:
Now I have done 6 months of Hospitalist job. It definitely has its perks, I mean good pay and a week off every other week. However, I don't enjoy my role at all. A lot of social drama every day, i.e., daily meetings, case manager meet-ups, length of stay huddles, calling family, patients wanting to stay in the hospital when it is clearly not necessary, families wanted updates every day, and nurse paging throughout the day. I feel like we are the dumping ground of the hospital. Every specialist will just write recommendations and we have to follow up on everything. I do understand that it is part of my job as a Hospitalist, but sometimes, their recommendation is to discuss the case with another specialist, I mean for GOD's sake! if you really want another person to have a look at the case, at least have the courtesy of talking to that specialist as the 2nd specialist would want to hear from the first specialist as to why his service is needed. Times I do feel like I made difference in patient's life is when I connect them to the right specialist and the patient getting the right treatment. I struggle with multi-tasking as things keep adding up on that list. No matter how fast I try to do things, I spend most of the day in front of the computer charting notes.
Sometimes, I feel like there is nothing wrong with the specialty but these are all my shortcomings. I knew before finishing residency that I would have to do all these things as a Hospitalist, but I thought with higher pay, working half a year, it would be worth it. But now I feel like it is more than money for me now. To me, work-life does matter. A lot of my fellow internists tell me to take it as a job. Even if it is a bad day, at the end of the day, I go home and get paid. But 3-4 days prior to my week ON, I start getting anxious and constantly think about how my workweek is going to be. I question myself if it is due to not liking the hospitalist role or I have social anxiety issues.
It brings us to the next point. I feel like I need to get out of it. I can go for fellowship, but I cannot do any fellowship just to get out of my role. I think it is important to specialize in what you really like; otherwise, you will be stuck in the same cycle I am. I really like pathophysiology and that is why I always got attracted to Critical Care Medicine. Also, I enjoy the cardio/pulmonary system. As mentioned in the first post of this thread, I really enjoyed the OR and anesthesia when I rotated as a PGY-2/3 IM resident. I feel like I would enjoy anesthesia as a career as I can escape the social drama of IM and still get to CCM as a one-year fellowship OR just apply either CCM only or Pulm/CC this year. I have discussed this with my wife and she is supportive as long as I pick something I can do for the rest of my life.
I am trying to find people who did Anesthesia after IM residency to listen to their perspective for guidance. I really appreciate each and every one of you who took the time to post on this thread. It was really helpful and constructive.