Graphic personal statement?

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@samualjhatfield

I fully understand the morbidity of description now and am not including anything about physical descriptions or actions in the autopsy.

It has been changed to simply I was there to learn, they pointed out everything that contributed to her death (no specifics), they answered all of my questions, I was fascinated to learn but seeing it all first hand I knew I wanted to be on the other side when the patient is still alive.

You do not understand because seeing an autopsy is perplexingly still in your PS. Poking a cervix is not a why medicine answer

That is the gist of the first 1,700 characters of the personal statement followed by further events.

1700 characters too many

Even this does not seem to fly and I am not getting it and would greatly enjoy if it were explained.

read the thread
Again, "poking a cervix" was never the final wording or ever more than a sentence and is no longer in there.

I am actively working on an alternate PS not involving the autopsy, however I have additionally changed the autopsy personal statement and I feel as though it reads a lot better than you are presenting it in your head.

What I do not understand is why an autopsy in and of itself it not able to be used in a personal statement? It was my first true experience seeing the multifaceted communication and knowledge exchange that occurs between a team of physicians. This I what inspired me to pursue the pre-med track. Please explain how, sans morbidity, merely the fact that my observation of the multi-physician team was during an autopsy rather than with a living patient discredits its use?

I fully understand the general consensus for removing the morbidity aspect. Taking the advice of getdown is the direction I have aimed to move. But please tell me why autopsy or pathology experience should be now where near it? I genuinely do not understand.

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U can mention your first experience seeing docs communicate in the pathology department and how it inspired u without mentioning the autopsy, focusing on a dead body is just a bad idea in a personal statement
 
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in 1st year if med school my school at least stressed respect of the body and the scarifice made by this person to contribute to your education. it comes off that u are talking about the cadaver too cavalierly if u just mention it briefly in a personal statement. Medical culture takes the treatment of cadavers very seriously
 
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U can mention your first experience seeing docs communicate in the pathology department and how it inspired u without mentioning the autopsy, focusing on a dead body is just a bad idea in a personal statement
"Observing the pathologists as they worked..." along those lines..That can totally work. Thank you.
 
in 1st year if med school my school at least stressed respect of the body and the scarifice made by this person to contribute to your education. it comes off that u are talking about the cadaver too cavalierly if u just mention it briefly in a personal statement. Medical culture takes the treatment of cadavers very seriously
Thank you for this insight. And you are right, too much detail can be too morbid but not enough shows disrespect. Thank you for explaining this and I will adjust course.

As mentioned earlier, being a med lab tech background, my primary interaction with patients (beyond phlebotomy) has mostly just been with their fluids so I have been primed to view the numbers not the patient. While I do see the perspective now (and have or several years now) I did not realize it in my wording until now. Again, thank you. This is very helpful.
 
Again, "poking a cervix" was never the final wording or ever more than a sentence and is no longer in there.

I am actively working on an alternate PS not involving the autopsy, however I have additionally changed the autopsy personal statement and I feel as though it reads a lot better than you are presenting it in your head.

What I do not understand is why an autopsy in and of itself it not able to be used in a personal statement? It was my first true experience seeing the multifaceted communication and knowledge exchange that occurs between a team of physicians. This I what inspired me to pursue the pre-med track. Please explain how, sans morbidity, merely the fact that my observation of the multi-physician team was during an autopsy rather than with a living patient discredits its use?

I fully understand the general consensus for removing the morbidity aspect. Taking the advice of getdown is the direction I have aimed to move. But please tell me why autopsy or pathology experience should be now where near it? I genuinely do not understand.

Maybe im just exhausted (yes.), but I am very confused as to why being able to communicate with a team member made you want to go into medicine (like in my other post.. why “medicine”). Autopsy in and of itself giving you a further interest in human disease and science in general? Sure. That makes me understand further why you chose this path.
 
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Maybe im just exhausted (yes.), but I am very confused as to why being able to communicate with a team member made you want to go into medicine (like in my other post.. why “medicine”). Autopsy in and of itself giving you a further interest in human disease and science in general? Sure. That makes me understand further why you chose this path.

It makes some sense to me that someone in laboratory medicine who is cranking out lab tests in silence might be surprised to discover that pathologists, who never speak to living patients, do quite a bit of verbal communication with their surgical colleagues and among themselves. I've seen them in action once (I was there to pick up something and had to stand waiting around for awhile) and I was surprised at the number of two person microscopes and the fact that one entire wall of the room with the microscopes was filled with reference books. It was 20+ years ago and the collegiality struck me then and has stayed with me as something I had not imagined when someone said, "pathology residents' workroom".
 
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My undergrad has a gross anatomy lab with cadavers. I TA the lab so I get to teach students using the cadavers and this was a big part in my wanting to go to medical school so I included it in my personal statement. However, I worded it in a way that explained how rewarding it was to teach students about the human body’s structure and function. It came up a lot in my interviews and I talked about how amazing it was to see in a cadaver how everything is connected in the body. But I sure didn’t talk about poking anything or tongues dangling. I think it’s a quite an act of giving to donate your body and it really should be honored

If you word it right and in a way that shows maturity and can relate it to deciding to pursue medicine, use it, but nothing vivid like you had
 
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Maybe im just exhausted (yes.), but I am very confused as to why being able to communicate with a team member made you want to go into medicine (like in my other post.. why “medicine”). Autopsy in and of itself giving you a further interest in human disease and science in general? Sure. That makes me understand further why you chose this path.
Along the lines of “how effectively they communicated with each other I hope to be able to communicate with my patients” along with seeing it all first hand sparking human science interests etc.
 
Oh jesus.. No!!!!!! I read a personal statement once that started with "...My vagina is ugly! I shouted." or something to that effect and I was SO turned off. I would have instantly rejected her. If I read in your "Why I want to be a doctor." essay (aka PS) that you poked a cervix, I'd probably consider rejecting you. You need to have situational awareness to be a doc. Your PS is not the time or place to give graphic details.
 
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Oh jesus.. No!!!!!! I read a personal statement once that started with "...My vagina is ugly! I shouted." or something to that effect and I was SO turned off. I would have instantly rejected her. If I read in your "Why I want to be a doctor." essay (aka PS) that you poked a cervix, I'd probably consider rejecting you. You need to have situational awareness to be a doc. Your PS is not the time or place to give graphic details.
I got carried away with constantly being told "Show, don't tell" in those few sentences. I know now.
 
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What I do not understand is why an autopsy in and of itself it not able to be used in a personal statement? It was my first true experience seeing the multifaceted communication and knowledge exchange that occurs between a team of physicians. This I what inspired me to pursue the pre-med track. Please explain how, sans morbidity, merely the fact that my observation of the multi-physician team was during an autopsy rather than with a living patient discredits its use?

You can absolutely use an autopsy in your PS, you just can't include it like you're writing a campy horror novel. The goal isn't to describe the autopsy itself, the fact that it happened can be handled in 1-2 completely non-graphic sentences. The goal is to explain, in clear and compelling terms, what you took away from the experience.

The autopsy of someone who died of cervical cancer can raise a whole host of (again, non-graphic) issues that you can potentially discuss. Almost all of them are, frankly, far more interesting than observing communication between medical professionals. Start with the fact that cervical cancer is generally preventable through annual Pap smears, so you could have a problem with access or adherence. There is the anti-HPV vaccine angle. There is question as two why this person was autopsied in the first place. Was it QC for the hospital? Was it requested by the family? What question(s) are trying to be answered here? Most cervical cancers cause death by directly invading in the ureter(s) and causing intractable, lethal kidney dysfunction. Depending on the patient's age that could raise issues of treatment futility and palliation.
 
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My undergrad has a gross anatomy lab with cadavers. I TA the lab so I get to teach students using the cadavers and this was a big part in my wanting to go to medical school so I included it in my personal statement. However, I worded it in a way that explained how rewarding it was to teach students about the human body’s structure and function. It came up a lot in my interviews and I talked about how amazing it was to see in a cadaver how everything is connected in the body. But I sure didn’t talk about poking anything or tongues dangling. I think it’s a quite an act of giving to donate your body and it really should be honored

If you word it right and in a way that shows maturity and can relate it to deciding to pursue medicine, use it, but nothing vivid like you had
That is the overall direction I am going for, however as the learner rather than the teacher. What wording can be used? I feel like I want to avoid words such as "Fascinated" and "Astounded" when talking about what I saw in this context, both on the patient and with their communication. What word choice would satisfy without pushing buttons?
 
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I got carried away with constantly being told "Show, don't tell" in those few sentences. I know now.

You may never have been taught what this phrase actually means. It's a reminder to use examples to support assertions. It doesn't suggest any particular style of writing. It exists to prevent writers from just making proclamations and moving on.
 
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Start by brainstorming your response to these prompts:
I want to be a doctor because I want to....

I first began thinking about choosing medicine as a career when I...

After I thought about medicine as a possibility for me, I decided to check it out by ...

I was impressed with....

This is not to say that you should use this material in your essay but that you should probe yourself to determine "why medicine". Try writing in a straight style as if you were speaking to an adult who does not know you.
 
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That is the overall direction I am going for, however as the learner rather than the teacher. What wording can be used? I feel like I want to avoid words such as "Fascinated" and "Astounded" when talking about what I saw in this context, both on the patient and with their communication. What word choice would satisfy without pushing buttons?

You could talk along the lines about how seeing this was a unique experience for you to see early on and it resulted in you wishing to learn more about the human body. You could say how interesting it was to see how the human body is structured but you wished to then learn more about how it functions in both health and disease.

I don’t think my personal statement was anything that blew anybody away, but since I also included cadavers I thought my experience could relate to you some. If this experience impacted your desire to be a physician, I think you should definitely include it. You got plenty of time to work on it!
 
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You can absolutely use an autopsy in your PS, you just can't include it like you're writing a campy horror novel. The goal isn't to describe the autopsy itself, the fact that it happened can be handled in 1-2 completely non-graphic sentences. The goal is to explain, in clear and compelling terms, what you took away from the experience.

The autopsy of someone who died of cervical cancer can raise a whole host of (again, non-graphic) issues that you can potentially discuss. Almost all of them are, frankly, far more interesting than observing communication between medical professionals. Start with the fact that cervical cancer is generally preventable through annual Pap smears, so you could have a problem with access or adherence. There is the anti-HPV vaccine angle. There is question as two why this person was autopsied in the first place. Was it QC for the hospital? Was it requested by the family? What question(s) are trying to be answered here? Most cervical cancers cause death by directly invading in the ureter(s) and causing intractable, lethal kidney dysfunction. Depending on the patient's age that could raise issues of treatment futility and palliation.
It had been requested by the family because there had just been so much wrong with her and they wanted to know what exactly was the cause. There was a combination of issues from diabetes to cervical cancer, 5'4" and 285 pounds, 6 liters of peritoneal fluid and a half cirrhosed liver and much more. This is why it was so interesting to be a part of, because there was just this cascade of health issues that only a few of which were known. They hadn't confirmed the cervical cancer until the autopsy because she had just been on palliative care. In regards to the communication, what I was most impressed by was the vast wealth of knowledge these residents had and how they could each describe something and everyone would instantly know what they were looking at, and they were able to communicate it to me in a way I could understand even without the back ground. I felt that was a useful skill of a physician, to be able to store complex information and deliver it in a meaningful way to patients who may not understand.

How can I describe my thoughts on all of that without mentioning any of it? Is the language used above appropriate or is that too graphic?
 
The only description of the body itself beyond that example is in my opening line along the lines of “I stepped in closer and there she was - an exposed skull, dangling tongue and two lifeless eyes staring at nothing.” This is the second sentence (used as a kind of hook) and probably my most vivid memory and the most impactful moment from the autopsy. Is this too graphic as well or does this work?
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If I read this in a PS, I'd reject you on the spot.
 
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If I read this in a PS, I'd reject you on the spot.
Thank you for the feedback and I fully understand that now. This is why I came to SDN, is because I felt I was not getting a full peer review from colleagues/professors/writer's center.
 
It had been requested by the family because there had just been so much wrong with her and they wanted to know what exactly was the cause. There was a combination of issues from diabetes to cervical cancer, 5'4" and 285 pounds, 6 liters of peritoneal fluid and a half cirrhosed liver and much more. This is why it was so interesting to be a part of, because there was just this cascade of health issues that only a few of which were known. They hadn't confirmed the cervical cancer until the autopsy because she had just been on palliative care. In regards to the communication, what I was most impressed by was the vast wealth of knowledge these residents had and how they could each describe something and everyone would instantly know what they were looking at, and they were able to communicate it to me in a way I could understand even without the back ground. I felt that was a useful skill of a physician, to be able to store complex information and deliver it in a meaningful way to patients who may not understand.

How can I describe my thoughts on all of that without mentioning any of it? Is the language used above appropriate or is that too graphic?
note: none of this has been in my PS draft before, but should any of it be?
 
note: none of this has been in my PS draft before, but should any of it be?
Your PS is supposed to answer two questions: Why medicine? and Who are you?

Does this information answer either of those questions?
 
Your PS is supposed to answer two questions: Why medicine? and Who are you?

Does this information answer either of those questions?
I can describe seeing the integrated system that the human body is, how a cascade of issues are all inter related and how seeing this made me want to know what was done or could have been done while this patient was still alive. Those are al things I thought during the autopsy that all tied in to its influence on my interest in medicine. However, should I use specific examples ie. cervical cancer, layers of fat etc. or should I just call it a cascade of problems? While this is just the first part of the PS, I believe the core narrative I have answers these two questions, however after seeing this thread I want to figure the wording - what is ok and what is not?
 
Thank you for the feedback and I fully understand that now. This is why I came to SDN, is because I felt I was not getting a full peer review from colleagues/professors/writer's center.
We thanks to you for your service to our country!

I strongly suggest that you Shadow some other doctors and start volunteering with patients
 
I can describe seeing the integrated system that the human body is, how a cascade of issues are all inter related and how seeing this made me want to know what was done or could have been done while this patient was still alive. Those are al things I thought during the autopsy that all tied in to its influence on my interest in medicine. However, should I use specific examples ie. cervical cancer, layers of fat etc. or should I just call it a cascade of problems? While this is just the first part of the PS, I believe the core narrative I have answers these two questions, however after seeing this thread I want to figure the wording - what is ok and what is not?
Go very broad and general with your descriptions.

Some people are able to write detailed descriptions very well and in a way that perfectly communicates what they want to demonstrate. Your previous attempts at this indicate that you are not one of them!
 
We thanks to you for your service to our country!

I strongly suggest that you Shadow some other doctors and start volunteering with patients
I have nearly 200 hours of shadowing ranging from ER to urology (clinic and OR), internal medicine, rural family practice etc and volunteering ranging from search and rescue to building a hospital in Columbia. I know medicine is what I want to do, but all of these other activists only reinforced what I initially felt.
 
Go very broad and general with your descriptions.

Some people are able to write detailed descriptions very well and in a way that perfectly communicates what they want to demonstrate. Your previous attempts at this indicate that you are not one of them!
Thankfully those two previous ones were intentionally over descriptive, and I know I shouldn’t do that now.

Is a general description along the lines of “discoloration and malformations” or “the damage caused by cirrhosis” and “the spread of her cancer.”
 
Thankfully those two previous ones were intentionally over descriptive, and I know I shouldn’t do that now.

Is a general description along the lines of “discoloration and malformations” or “the damage caused by cirrhosis” and “the spread of her cancer.”
Read my above post again. And then another time. Just keep reading until it sinks in.

I promise I wasn't being unnecessarily harsh with it.
 
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I felt that was a useful skill of a physician, to be able to store complex information and deliver it in a meaningful way to patients who may not understand.
So why do you want to be a doctor?
It's not about being overly descriptive. It's the 1) subject matter itself and 2) not explaining why you want to be a doctor.

Storing complex information isn't unique to a doctor. You could be a researcher. Delivering information to a lay audience isn't unique to be a doctor; scientists, businessmen, etc all have to do that. This statement reads way too coldly, almost as if you're treating a specimen, not a human. Doctors treat humans, and you need to demonstrate that you want to help humans.
 
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It had been requested by the family because there had just been so much wrong with her and they wanted to know what exactly was the cause. There was a combination of issues from diabetes to cervical cancer, 5'4" and 285 pounds, 6 liters of peritoneal fluid and a half cirrhosed liver and much more. This is why it was so interesting to be a part of, because there was just this cascade of health issues that only a few of which were known. They hadn't confirmed the cervical cancer until the autopsy because she had just been on palliative care. In regards to the communication, what I was most impressed by was the vast wealth of knowledge these residents had and how they could each describe something and everyone would instantly know what they were looking at, and they were able to communicate it to me in a way I could understand even without the back ground. I felt that was a useful skill of a physician, to be able to store complex information and deliver it in a meaningful way to patients who may not understand.

How can I describe my thoughts on all of that without mentioning any of it? Is the language used above appropriate or is that too graphic?

Don't say 5'4" 285 pounds. Say obese. Don't say the person had a half cirrhosed liver. Say the person had cirrhosis.

That you were impressed by the knowledge and skill of the residents is not a bad thing, essentially everyone who wants into this business has at least one role model. Your description of it shouldn't get too starry-eyed, though, as it can potentially make sound naïve. When smart people do the same thing day in an day out for years, they get very good at it, to the point where the knowledge gets taken for granted and the work itself becomes mundane.
 
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So why do you want to be a doctor?
It's not about being overly descriptive. It's the 1) subject matter itself and 2) not explaining why you want to be a doctor.

Storing complex information isn't unique to a doctor. You could be a researcher. Delivering information to a lay audience isn't unique to be a doctor; scientists, businessmen, etc all have to do that. This statement reads way to coldly, almost as if you're treating a specimen, not a human. Doctors treat humans, and you need to demonstrate that you want to help humans.
I need to word it in a medicine specific way. Thank you.
 
My genuine moment of inspiration was during this autopsy. Watching these doctors communicate with each other and answering any and every question I asked so seemlessly. Seeing the knowledge they had and how effectively they communicated it made me want to be on the other side, to see living patients, know enough to be able to help them, and communicate that information with my patients as well as the residents communicated with me.

Is that a narrative you would not want to hear from (the first half-ish) a personal statement?
Focus on the physicians, then yourself. Also add in how they treated the patient with respect. A dead patient is still a patient. Your PS needs to show them that you're mature, and have desirable qualities of a physician. So talk about watching those physicians and then provide an example as to how YOU resemble that, typically in the form of personal anecdotes. I.e. "these physicians showed great teaching skills while performing the autopsy, which is a skill I believe is essential for becoming a great physician, which is why I've done this EC to enhance my teaching etc..."

This was the advice I got from my Master's advisors that have spent their fair share of interviewing candidates for 20+ years and also served many a time on the adcom.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using SDN mobile
 
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Focus on the physicians, then yourself. Also add in how they treated the patient with respect. A dead patient is still a patient. Your PS needs to show them that you're mature, and have desirable qualities of a physician. So talk about watching those physicians and then provide an example as to how YOU resemble that, typically in the form of personal anecdotes. I.e. "these physicians showed great teaching skills while performing the autopsy, which is a skill I believe is essential for becoming a great physician, which is why I've done this EC to enhance my teaching etc..."

This was the advice I got from my Master's advisors that have spent their fair share of interviewing candidates for 20+ years and also served many a time on the adcom.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using SDN mobile
This was my strategy in my first couple drafts, however that tactic felt a little list-y and I thought those sorts of ECs were normally in the supplemental essays. Is that not
 
This was my strategy in my first couple drafts, however that tactic felt a little list-y and I thought those sorts of ECs were normally in the supplemental essays. Is that not

The experiences you obtained that drew you to medicine or that confirmed that medicine was the right career path for you can be described in the personal statement. There is also a section of the AMCAS for 15 "experiences" that may include employment, volunteer service, teaching/tutoring, research, awards & honors, athletics, artistic endeavors, leadership, publications, hobbies & advocations, etc.
 
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The experiences you obtained that drew you to medicine or that confirmed that medicine was the right career path for you can be described in the personal statement. There is also a section of the AMCAS for 15 "experiences" that may include employment, volunteer service, teaching/tutoring, research, awards & honors, athletics, artistic endeavors, leadership, publications, hobbies & advocations, etc.
LizzyM, thank you that is what I intended my the suplimental essays was the experiences section. If these experiences are mentioned in the personal statement, should they be duplicated in the experiences section?
 
LizzyM, thank you that is what I intended my the suplimental essays was the experiences section. If these experiences are mentioned in the personal statement, should they be duplicated in the experiences section?
Use the correct terms and we'll have a much easier time communicating:
EC = experience (EC section)
PS = personal statement
Supplemental: an application to a specific school beyond what is required in the AMCAS (common) application.

The EC section is a fill-in-the-blanks section that provides information about the experience is a systematic and standardized way (dates, hours, contact information, location, etc) as well as allowing a free text box or two for each experience. You could certainly include something in the PS that you also include in the EC section. For example, employment in the military could certainly be mentioned in the PS and included as an EC. Hospice volunteering could be included in the ECs with a more personal anecdote in the PS. That would be different than the information in the free text box about your role in the organization and what it meant to you.
 
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Use the correct terms and we'll have a much easier time communicating:
EC = experience (EC section)
PS = personal statement
Supplemental: an application to a specific school beyond what is required in the AMCAS (common) application.

The EC section is a fill-in-the-blanks section that provides information about the experience is a systematic and standardized way (dates, hours, contact information, location, etc) as well as allowing a free text box or two for each experience. You could certainly include something in the PS that you also include in the EC section. For example, employment in the military could certainly be mentioned in the PS and included as an EC. Hospice volunteering could be included in the ECs with a more personal anecdote in the PS. That would be different than the information in the free text box about your role in the organization and what it meant to you.
Supplementals are also called secondaries.
 
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Use the correct terms and we'll have a much easier time communicating:
EC = experience (EC section)
PS = personal statement
Supplemental: an application to a specific school beyond what is required in the AMCAS (common) application.

The EC section is a fill-in-the-blanks section that provides information about the experience is a systematic and standardized way (dates, hours, contact information, location, etc) as well as allowing a free text box or two for each experience. You could certainly include something in the PS that you also include in the EC section. For example, employment in the military could certainly be mentioned in the PS and included as an EC. Hospice volunteering could be included in the ECs with a more personal anecdote in the PS. That would be different than the information in the free text box about your role in the organization and what it meant to you.
This is very helpful. I have felt limited when writing my PS as this information is contrary to what my pre-MED advisor had told me about my first few drafts....again, this is why SDN is a great resource. Thank you.
 
My genuine moment of inspiration was during this autopsy. Watching these doctors communicate with each other and answering any and every question I asked so seemlessly. Seeing the knowledge they had and how effectively they communicated it made me want to be on the other side, to see living patients, know enough to be able to help them, and communicate that information with my patients as well as the residents communicated with me.

Is that a narrative you would not want to hear from (the first half-ish) a personal statement?

Interesting you say this because autopsies are among the most discouraging and upsetting parts of medicine, and a reason why pathology is somewhat a turnoff for me even though I like other aspects of it.

You received good advice on how to write a personal statement so be sure to use them well. The original drafts you provided were disappointing to read.
 
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If you leave out all ECs from your personal statement, it wouldn't be very good. The EC section on your app is for a description of what you did, hours, details.... Your PS and secondaries are used for explaining how something affected you, molded you, etc... you don't want to duplicate your PS in your secondary essays, but you're way far out from that. In general, imo a PS reader shouldn't be too surprised when they read your ECs, etc.. but obviously don't do a chronological account of your experiences in your PS and don't just copy everything you did in there. This is what makes the P.S. extremely hard to write, and why its good you're starting early. My first draft of my P.S. I thought was awesome and basically done. Then I handed it to my advisors... had to almost completely redo it.
 
You received good advice on how to write a personal statement so be sure to use them well. The original drafts you provided were disappointing to read.

I definetely am writing it from the ground up.
 
@samualjhatfield

OP. I worked with tissue donation in my pre med career. My essay was centered almost exclusively around this work. Never once did I describe what I did beyond a brief statement of my job duties. Never ever.

What i did discuss at length was the meaning of life and death, of empathy and altruism. I discussed the profundity of dealing so intimately with death for somebody in their early 20's and how that shaped my worldview, forced me to reconfigure my understanding of pain and suffering and healing. I relayed that into my community demographics, what my community needed, and how my experiences would shape my approach to medicine.

I asked what exactly is medicine (aka palliative care--we cant always CURE everyone)? What does first do no harm mean? etc. I was able to discuss the frailty of life, the randomness and apathy of death, and what that meant to patient care and me.

Do you see why poking a cervix once may not be worth discussing?
 
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@samualjhatfield

OP. I worked with tissue donation in my pre med career. My essay was centered almost exclusively around this work. Never once did I describe what I did beyond a brief statement of my job duties. Never ever.

What i did discuss at length was the meaning of life and death, of empathy and altruism. I discussed the profundity of dealing so intimately with death for somebody in their early 20's and how that shaped my worldview, forced me to reconfigure my understanding of pain and suffering and healing. I relayed that into my community demographics, what my community needed, and how my experiences would shape my approach to medicine.

I asked what exactly is medicine (aka palliative care--we cant always CURE everyone)? What does first do no harm mean? etc. I was able to discuss the frailty of life, the randomness and apathy of death, and what that meant to patient care and me.

Do you see why poking a cervix once may not be worth discussing?

The specimen sat alone on the counter. Once living, thriving tissue, it was now cold and still. The vial cap stared at the ceiling like a dead eye in a coffin. In the distance, a dog howled.
 
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The specimen sat alone on the counter. Once living, thriving tissue, it was now cold and still. The vial cap stared at the ceiling like a dead eye in a coffin. In the distance, a dog howled.

So you also own a copy of Mad Libs for Nihilists
 
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I have also worked as an autopsy technician. That being said, your personal statement sounds like the work of a serial killer.

Generalize. I love doing autopsies as well, but that is so... specific. There have been hundreds of interesting teaching moments from doing autopsies for me. From seeing how small the lungs and how large the adrenals of a fetus are to how having 6 lung lobes actually isn't very rare, there are many things you can learn from autopsies. Rape kits are probably the least enjoyable part to me. Its odd how cutting a body up and dismembering it doesn't seem as intrusive as poking and prodding each orifice of a body with swabs. I really hate that aspect of the job.
 
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I have also worked as an autopsy technician. That being said, your personal statement sounds like the work of a serial killer.
Again, show don't tell gone overboard is something that I believe I have now fixed by taking almost every bit of advice above. Anyone else want to provide feedback on my new PS draft that I can assure you has no mention of anything being poked, dangling, or looking funny? I would really love more medical-related folks to review this. Only so much I can get across with SDN posting and only so much feedbakc I can get back from my university writer's center.
 
@samualjhatfield

OP. I worked with tissue donation in my pre med career. My essay was centered almost exclusively around this work. Never once did I describe what I did beyond a brief statement of my job duties. Never ever.

What i did discuss at length was the meaning of life and death, of empathy and altruism. I discussed the profundity of dealing so intimately with death for somebody in their early 20's and how that shaped my worldview, forced me to reconfigure my understanding of pain and suffering and healing. I relayed that into my community demographics, what my community needed, and how my experiences would shape my approach to medicine.

I asked what exactly is medicine (aka palliative care--we cant always CURE everyone)? What does first do no harm mean? etc. I was able to discuss the frailty of life, the randomness and apathy of death, and what that meant to patient care and me.

Do you see why poking a cervix once may not be worth discussing?

That’s gold, Jerry, gold.
 
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Oh jesus.. No!!!!!! I read a personal statement once that started with "...My vagina is ugly! I shouted." or something to that effect and I was SO turned off. I would have instantly rejected her. If I read in your "Why I want to be a doctor." essay (aka PS) that you poked a cervix, I'd probably consider rejecting you. You need to have situational awareness to be a doc. Your PS is not the time or place to give graphic details.

Amy Schumer applied to your school?
 
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This made me cringe.
 
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Lmao I am weak my dude really tryna talk about touching the cervix in his personal statement. You tryin too hard my guy.
 
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