Having a mid 20's crisis

[RampageBear]

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I need some serious guidance/advice/perspective

I have been reading post after post on this website for weeks. I'm sure you've heard this a million times...

Obviously you all are not psychologists, but maybe someone somewhere can talk this out with me.
By the way... I will also be scheduling a meeting with a school counselor and/or an actual therapist.

So here it goes...

I am 27 years old and medical school has been heavily weighing on my mind. Here is the thing, I don't even have my bachelors (or pre reqs needed).
My past is something of a chaotic mess. I wont get into too many details because you guys probably don't really give a s**t about that, but I will give a summary.
I dropped out of HS at 15 to take care of my mother. Obtained my GED at 16 and started at a community college at 16. Dropped out of that after about a year for personal reasons.
Fast forward to age 21 and I tried again (this time focusing on pre med) at a community college once again. Dropped out because I was more interested in a relationship at the time that was soul sucking.

So here I am, age 27 with a handful of skills from the working world of physical labor and 2 failed relationships that I obsessed over and never for a second thought about my career... that was until age 25.

For the past two years I have been trying to figure out what my passion is. It's stressing me out. I don't want to start back until i am 100% positive of what I want to do with my life instead of wasting more money on loans.

Also, I think I am average. When I say average I mean in academics. I never learned how to study and grasp material. Growing up the family didn't care if I had done my homework or not, so I never had the foundation. I know I can learn to do it but I am soooo far behind.

My dream was to become a surgeon. The older I get the more I self doubt and just think to myself 'Who are you kidding? You're over mid 20's with no degree, no study skill habits, of average intelligence when it comes to academically memorizing and testing. There's no point.'

I don't want to write a novel, but I'm afraid that it's looking that way, If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[ODea]

Sounds like you have a tendency to drop out when stuff gets hard you're never too old to become a doctor though, but you have to think about it REALLY hard because if you drop out of that that's a huge debt to try and pay off.

 

[ReapPremed]

The part of your brain involved in impulse control and executive functioning is still developing into your early 20's. You've probably changed a lot since you tried community college at 21 and had a chance to work. Don't be so hard on yourself. Mid-20's is a difficult phase of life when your future feels uncertain and you want a career, stability, and the hallmarks of adulthood. That you're meeting with a school counselor, and acknowledge you need to make changes, means you're on the right track.

Most premeds take gen chem and gen bio within their first year of college, or knew they enjoyed those topics from high school, and can pretty easily decide. "Rigorous scientific material is for me" and continue on, or switch majors. It sounds like you haven't really gotten good exposure to these fields in the first place? I wish I was able to tell you a good, cheap way to get this kind of experience.

No matter what, it seems like you want higher education, correct? You're just trying to figure out what classes to start with in community college and what career to pursue? Why don't you start with just a semester of chemistry or biology and see how you feel? If you don't feel able to get all A's in science, maybe they'll count toward an allied health profession? And if I'm not mistaken you need a sampling of science and humanities to get your AA and move on to a 4-year school anyway.

Shadow a doctor and see if it appeals to you. If don't want academic rigor, there are plenty of other good jobs in healthcare. But it sounds to me like you never got good support through your schooling. Do you have a better support system now? And how much Community College did you do before dropping out? Did you fail or lose interest?

 

[Disciple of Sattar]

Before you make this decision, you have to be able to handle college level coursework. There is no way around it. Luckily for you, a college degree is not something that is wasted if medicine is not in your future. Will open up doors regardless.

 

[workaholic181]

People your age pursue medicine all the time; don't let 27 years of age prevent you from doing so.

That said, why exactly do you want to do this? Maybe getting some clinical exposure would be useful. If I were you OP, I'd focus on getting a bachelors first and seeing where that takes you. Get your hands dirty in the coursework and see if medicine is still what you want in a few years.

 

[RampageBear]

The part of your brain involved in impulse control and executive functioning is still developing into your early 20's. You've probably changed a lot since you tried community college at 21 and had a chance to work. Don't be so hard on yourself. Mid-20's is a difficult phase of life when your future feels uncertain and you want a career, stability, and the hallmarks of adulthood. That you're meeting with a school counselor, and acknowledge you need to make changes, means you're on the right track.

Most premeds take gen chem and gen bio within their first year of college, or knew they enjoyed those topics from high school, and can pretty easily decide. "Rigorous scientific material is for me" and continue on, or switch majors. It sounds like you haven't really gotten good exposure to these fields in the first place? I wish I was able to tell you a good, cheap way to get this kind of experience.

No matter what, it seems like you want higher education, correct? You're just trying to figure out what classes to start with in community college and what career to pursue? Why don't you start with just a semester of chemistry or biology and see how you feel? If you don't feel able to get all A's in science, maybe they'll count toward an allied health profession? And if I'm not mistaken you need a sampling of science and humanities to get your AA and move on to a 4-year school anyway.

Shadow a doctor and see if it appeals to you. If don't want academic rigor, there are plenty of other good jobs in healthcare. But it sounds to me like you never got good support through your schooling. Do you have a better support system now? And how much Community College did you do before dropping out? Did you fail or lose interest?

I 100% did not get good exposure to any academics. I want to change all that, and like you suggested perhaps take a few science courses and see how it goes. I am just afraid I've missed out on a lot learning wise and not sure if I can retain information. My math skills are horrid which scares me.

I do have a support system in a sense, my family wants me to be happy but I still get this sense of doubt in the air when I speak about this route.
It's almost like they know I do not have the stamina and mental capability to get through it. Which I'm obviously already self doubting.

I got through 2 years of community college work, but I never studied. I honestly didn't know how. I kept failing math around linear algebra. I passed Biology with a B without studying. I would half ass listen to the lectures so I honestly have no idea how I pulled that off. English always A's. I am naturally good at English composition and some science when it interests me. Math is the absolute worst for me. I completely missed that foundation when I had dropped out. I ended up leaving the community college because of depression. My grandfather was pressuring me to pick a field and thought nursing would be the best idea. I kind of had a break down before the TEAS because self consciously i did not want that for myself.

I dont know... I'm a mess.

People your age pursue medicine all the time; don't let 27 years of age prevent you from doing so.

That said, why exactly do you want to do this? Maybe getting some clinical exposure would be useful. If I were you OP, I'd focus on getting a bachelors first and seeing where that takes you. Get your hands dirty in the coursework and see if medicine is still what you want in a few years.

Very true. Seeing if I can handle the coursework in the sciences would be a start. I feel like it would be challenging, but the math is what I am worried about. I feel like I am going to need a tutor through all of this but do potential med students need tutors? Just feel like an idiot for even thinking of going down this path.

I want this because I don't see myself doing anything else. I want to help people and possibly bring some type of joy to their lives with what they are battling.

 

[workaholic181]

I 100% did not get good exposure to any academics. I want to change all that, and like you suggested perhaps take a few science courses and see how it goes. I am just afraid I've missed out on a lot learning wise and not sure if I can retain information. My math skills are horrid which scares me.

I do have a support system in a sense, my family wants me to be happy but I still get this sense of doubt in the air when I speak about this route.
It's almost like they know I do not have the stamina and mental capability to get through it. Which I'm obviously already self doubting.

I got through 2 years of community college work, but I never studied. I honestly didn't know how. I kept failing math around linear algebra. I passed Biology with a B without studying. I would half ass listen to the lectures so I honestly have no idea how I pulled that off. English always A's. I am naturally good at English composition and some science when it interests me. Math is the absolute worst for me. I completely missed that foundation when I had dropped out. I ended up leaving the community college because of depression. My grandfather was pressuring me to pick a field and thought nursing would be the best idea. I kind of had a break down before the TEAS because self consciously i did not want that for myself.

I dont know... I'm a mess.




Very true. Seeing if I can handle the coursework in the sciences would be a start. I feel like it would be challenging, but the math is what I am worried about. I feel like I am going to need a tutor through all of this but do potential med students need tutors? Just feel like an idiot for even thinking of going down this path.

I want this because I don't see myself doing anything else. I want to help people and possibly bring some type of joy to their lives with what they are battling.

I would implore you to not get down on yourself for considering doing this. Again, people your age do it all the time.

I approached being pre med with a very lacking background in the sciences. I was AWFUL at math and hated it. Perhaps the most gratifying aspect of this path for me has been grinding everyday to gain a level of mastery in these topics, finding I can and finding I love doing so. It is 100% natural to feel intimidated and overwhelmed at the beginning of taking these courses. Fake it until you make it! There is a great Ted talk on this.

Frankly a lot of people go to college thinking they will be docs and almost all of them untlimately do something else. I highly recommend getting your hands dirty in healthcare.

Good luck op. Keep your head up and you'll find success in whatever you ultimately choose to do.

 

[PreMedMissteps]

All you can do now is test your new commitment to becoming a doctor. Sign up for some CC classes this spring. Don't take on too much at first.

What college level courses have you completed and what grades did you get? How many credits did you complete? Your past GPA may not mean as much since time between low grades and future good grades is always a good thing.

 

[calivianya]

For the past two years I have been trying to figure out what my passion is. It's stressing me out. I don't want to start back until i am 100% positive of what I want to do with my life instead of wasting more money on loans.

I feel like most people are never 100% positive about what they want to do with their lives, and even if they are, minds change and they're 100% positive they want to do something different later on. I don't know many people with a true "passion" for something, and those that do seem to have one are the people with the least experience in that field and in reality just have a passion for whatever idealized image of the profession they have in their heads anyway.

If you're going to wait around until you're 100% certain, you may spend the rest of your life working low paying jobs. Just saying. At some point you have to get out there and just try something. You gain nothing by waiting for a certainty you may never have.

Source: nine majors and three bachelor's degrees... having spent the whole first degree jumping ship from major to major because I was waiting for a "calling," just like you.

 

[tiff]

My advice to you is don't live in the past. All you have is the present. Instead of debating and contemplating a route to take, just take one and like you said, "see how it goes." Enroll in gen bio and chm classes. Do it now or you may never do it....

Life's too short to be so indecisive. 😉

 

[Turkishking]

The only advice I can give is, if you real ready to go back and give it a shot, go for it. I mean you know your areas of strengths and weaknesses; so you can fix those areas, and adequately prepare yourself for the future coursework

 

[mellie0]

My best advice to you is to enroll in college, start with the basic classes, and see where it takes you. There are so many health professions that if you don't end up becoming a doctor, you can become so many other things: optometrist, podiatrist, audiologist, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, and the list continues. But for all of those, you need a college degree and the pre-health pre-requisites which are almost the same for all of them: biology, chemistry, etc. However, don't jump into those just yet. Ease into college first, take a class or two and see how it feels, and gradually ease into the harder classes and larger course loads. The reason I say that is because every class counts towards your GPA (at least for AMCAS) so you really want to ensure you get good grades, first and foremost.

 

[Eleithyia]

I think everyone has pretty much the right idea: take some science courses and see how you handle it, and try to find a doctor to observe to see what it's like in an office. I've found family docs to be some of the easiest to reach out to, but if you shadow a family doc and make a good impression, they might have a friend/colleague in an area for you to shadow as well (ymmv).

My dream was to become a surgeon. The older I get the more I self doubt and just think to myself 'Who are you kidding? You're over mid 20's with no degree, no study skill habits, of average intelligence when it comes to academically memorizing and testing. There's no point.'

In his book "Complications," Atul Gawande says that surgery is mostly about practicing. Practicing even when you hate practicing, and not giving up. Surgery is a long way off from where you are, true. In the meantime, I think that mindset also applies to studying. Remember why you're doing it and keep pushing through. Take advantage of your resources like study coaching or tutoring to help you develop good and effective study skills.