Having family affected decisions?

[Jejton]

I was just curious how other people in my situation have been deciding. I have two schools to choose from. One is my first choice, which is a big city, expensive school. The other is a state school in suburbia - much cheaper and nicer place to raise a family. I'm very happy that I am in the position to choose but sometimes i wish I didnt have to make a choice. How have the rest of you been affected by being married, esp with kids ?

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[Kateb4]

Yes, without a family, I would be willing to move anywhere. But since we built a house a couple of years ago and my son will start kindergarden the same year that I start med school ('08 hopefully) I am really only able to apply to schools that I can commute to from my current home. Luckilly I am very close to CCOM, and could feasably commute to a couple of Chicago schools (not a fun drive though). It is immensely difficult to uproot your family, moving jobs and schools for the kids possibly. I know it is a big deciding factor for alot of non-trads with regards to their choice of schools.

 

[Captain Fantastic]

Yeah, my family situation is dictating a lot, but that's the way it goes. My wife has a sweet set-up at her work, my oldest will be in school, and my mother-in-law is playing nanny for us with the baby (I really can't afford to lose that)! It looks like I'll have one school that is feasible for the family. It's a good school, but that might be the problem. My GPA is below their average, although my MCAT is above. So it's going to be a crap shoot. Next year is going to be very long and stressful.

 

[Scottish Chap]

I was just curious how other people in my situation have been deciding. I have two schools to choose from. One is my first choice, which is a big city, expensive school. The other is a state school in suburbia - much cheaper and nicer place to raise a family. I'm very happy that I am in the position to choose but sometimes i wish I didnt have to make a choice. How have the rest of you been affected by being married, esp with kids ?

I was in the same situation two years ago: top 25 school - way more expensive - or state school in an area where my wife and child would be more happy and better supported. I chose the latter. In the end, I felt that the state school had far superior clinical training anyway and I reasoned that I would still go there if all costs were equal.

Bottom line: you will be busy like you won't believe in medical school and your family's happiness must be first priority. Good luck with your decision.

 

[ShyRem]

When I was looking where to apply, my husband and I sat down with the map and crossed off all the states we absolutely refused to live in. Then I looked at schools in the areas that were left (and there were plenty). We looked at school districts, housing, job prospects for my husband... all the variables we could possibly see without actually living there. I started ranking schools, he started ranking areas.

When it all came down to it, I turned down several interviews that were lower on the family life scale than a school I was accepted to. I turned down a school that I absolutely HATED but my husband would have loved to live around. And we ended up somewhere that I liked and that they liked. There were pros and cons to everything - but we agreed that if one of us just HATED either the area or the school, it was off the list. Period. In my mind, the family aspect weighed in to my opinion of the school... and where I ended up was ultimately one of the top two on my list.

I agree with Scottish - my family's happiness was VERY important to me. Fortunately, my happiness is important to them too, and we made a great compromise.

 

[twinklestar2007]

I think family plays a huge role.... when it comes to deciding between what is best for you and/or the kids, you have to decide that by putting together various factors. In the end, you don't want to compromise either of you. The best thing is to see if you really can support the family in a more expensive place, if not just stay where you are in the cheaper area, that way you can still have a nice life without spending a lot or piling up all the loans.... If you spouse is not working, that makes it all the more difficult..

 

[lrobin15]

I am facing the same kind of issues. I want to go to a school nearby (LMU-DCOM) -the faculty seem great, the facilities are fantastic, and we can stay fairly close to home. Plus, my oldest daughter is a competitive gymnast and is at an excellent gym.

But, I really love GA-PCOM too. The area is fantastic and the clinicals will be outstanding. Also I can apply for the NHCS, which isn't available to me at DCOM because it is in provisional status. They have fantastic world class elite gyms in Atlanta too. The cost of living will really take a jump though. Plus it would mean moving away from my sister, my only family

I am lucky that my husband and kids are willing to go either place, but it is a very difficult decision!

Any advice???

 

[1Path]

Count me in! I'm actually one of those folks who is happy I have my family to ground me in decision making where school is concerned. I'd be all over the place trying to decide where to apply without them!

OTOH, I am EXTREMELY lucky that I have 5 med schools from all 4 tiers I can apply to, and a 6th one if I can tolerate a 1.5 hour commute by car (going against traffic). Nothing in life is promised, but I feel pretty confident about the odds of being accepted somewhere locally.

Finally, a lot of people mentioned moving being a family decision. Well for me I'm simply not willing to risk the emotional jolt my daughter could experience if we decided to move. She is a VERY sensitive kid that isn't very outgoing and I think moving, espeically with her going into middle school this year, could potentially not be a good situation for her. So for us, we weighed out pros and cons given our family dymanic first and decided that with 5 schools in the area, moving isn't necessary.

 

[Jejton]

My son is only 3 months old so schools arent an issue but daycare or babysitting are. Many of the attractions of my first choice school ( AECOM ) are things Im starting to think I wont have time for anyway - like rotations abroad, etc - so I dont know if I should even factor those things in my decision. I guess I will revisit each school with my wife and try to talk to other families at the schools to get a better feeling. At least I know that I will come out a good doctor from either school.

 

[jcs307]

I, too, will heavily weigh family factors when deciding where to apply. My husband has already moved once so that I could go to graduate school. Although it is likely we will move again for medical school, I only plan to apply to places that he is happy about living and where he feels confident he can find a job he will like.
It definitely limits things in terms of where I can go, but that's a sacrifice I'm more than willing to make. I have to look at our happiness throughout the journey of school and residency as well as the end result.

 

[1Path]

My son is only 3 months old so schools arent an issue but daycare or babysitting are. .

Support in this process is HUGE as far as I'm concerned. Having reliabe sitters and friends (who act as sitters ) is something that makes my current life as a grad student MUCH easier.

 

[Tired Pigeon]

Even without the family issue, the less expensive school is probably your best bet (see multiple threads on this topic elsewhere on SDN).

 

[oxeye]

I only applied to one school because I didn't want to uproot my family (husband and two kids with family in town). It definitely affected my decision.

 

[DocH]

My family has definitely affected my choice of schools. We recently bought a house so my daughter would be in a better school district. She'll graduate from high school when I graduate from med school.

I had three schools to choose from. They're all good, but I am choosing the school that is ten minutes away as opposed to over an hour. I think the education at the schools is pretty equivalent; I may be losing some reputation points (as far as residency goes), but I don't want to miss precious time with my daughter and husband.

 

[owlet]

I will most likely go to my state school this August, instead of to my first choice school in another state, because my husband could not find a faculty position in the city where my first choice is. So I will commute an hour to school for two years and he will commute 45 minutes to work and we may move to the city where the med school is for my clinical years. He has been assured that they will offer him a job at my med school if he wants it, but he prefers his current job with a national lab. For the time being our children will remain in their current schools and we can decide in two years whether it would be better for them to see me very rarely or to move to be closer to me.

 

[Kateb4]

My son is only 3 months old so schools arent an issue but daycare or babysitting are. Many of the attractions of my first choice school ( AECOM ) are things Im starting to think I wont have time for anyway - like rotations abroad, etc - so I dont know if I should even factor those things in my decision. I guess I will revisit each school with my wife and try to talk to other families at the schools to get a better feeling. At least I know that I will come out a good doctor from either school.

Even if he's not in school now, he may be when you are at the end of med school or while in your residency (depending on how far out you are), so it is actually something that you need to consider now. You can check into where alot of the graduates match for their residencies, I know you can really apply to go anywhere, but to uproot your family twice is difficult. It's just so hard to plan for potentially 7 years in the future!