help: im supposed to write my own LOR

[raspberry swirl]

so i finally got up the guts to ask my attending for an LOR yesterday, and he tells me "to bring some stuff in and we'll go over it". i asked another attending (a younger one, who just finished residency last year) what exactly he meant by that, and she rolled her eyes and informed me he wants me to write my own ... besides the fact that this is completely unethical, how exactly do i go about doing this?? i have heard of other students having to do this ... are there samples on the internet? is there a particular format i should be using? help me please cuz im freakin out! oh, and just to answer your question before you ask, i would really like a LOR from this rotation, so while not getting one is technically an option, realisitically this is an LOR that i sort of need ...

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[Gimlet]

so i finally got up the guts to ask my attending for an LOR yesterday, and he tells me "to bring some stuff in and we'll go over it". i asked another attending (a younger one, who just finished residency last year) what exactly he meant by that, and she rolled her eyes and informed me he wants me to write my own ... besides the fact that this is completely unethical, how exactly do i go about doing this?? i have heard of other students having to do this ... are there samples on the internet? is there a particular format i should be using? help me please cuz im freakin out! oh, and just to answer your question before you ask, i would really like a LOR from this rotation, so while not getting one is technically an option, realisitically this is an LOR that i sort of need ...

"Bring some stuff in and we'll go over it" is a far cry from "write your own letter of recommendation." If your first attending really wanted to you to write your own letter, don't you think he would have told you in less ambiguous terms? Are you sure the other attending isn't overly bitter or sarcastic or something? I wouldn't assume you should write your own letter until you get some more clarification from your attending.

Ask him what sort of "stuff" he wants you to bring. It could very well turn out that he wants to see your resume/CV or a personal statement of some sort so he can write a more personalized LOR. Coming in with your own LOR already written would be a little presumptuous in this situation.

 

[raspberry swirl]

well obviously im not just going to march in and pull out my completed LOR with flourish ... im not a total jacka$$. i am going to bring my CV (unfortunately i couldnt pull a personal statement out of my rear in one night) and hopefully thats all he'll want... but i know both attendings very well and before i even asked the other attending what the first one really meant, i sort of already knew. the second attending i asked, she was actually a resident in his residency program and she said its pretty much the standard way of how he always did it. oh well ... either way im not going to have it completed so i guess it doesn't matter. so much for sdn helpin a girl out!

 

[Cricket]

I had to do this very thing just 6 months ago...I really really needed an LOR from this particular attending/program, and when I finally got up the nerve to ask him for one, he said, "Why don't you write it, I'll add a few things and sign it?" At first I thought he was kidding so I kind of laughed it off, but then he said, "Why, does that make you uncomfortable?" And I said that yes, it did. He replied that since he really didn't know me all that well on a personal level, all he'd be able to write about was my skills as a student, and that he thought LORs should have more than that.

Needless to say I nearly gave myself an ulcer trying to come up with something. What helped out a lot was that my dad, who's a teacher and rather experienced with writing LORs, basically wrote an LOR for me, which gave me a good starting point and a lot of stuff to work with. I know it sounds silly, but if you have someone close to you (family member/best friend) write a few paragraphs about you, it will give you a good starting point so it's not so intimidating.

The whole thing sucks, no doubt about it. But in the end it will probably be one of the best letters you have. Good luck!

 

[raspberry swirl]

thanks cricket. i had my friend give me copies of all her LORs, and i used them as guides and took a few good vocab words out of them (ie. "mature and committed worker" lol). i must say i wrote myself a damn good letter ... i sound like mother freaking theresa ... only thing is, i might not use it. the other attending offered to write one for me if i didnt feel comfortable writing my own. im not sure what to do now since i really like the one i wrote!

 

[Idiopathic]

Always a tough call, but certainly not 'unethical'. An attending could just as easily have a secretary or resident write the letter and you would never know...at least this way you can emphasize the things that you find really important, the things that always have a hard time coming through on a CV.

 

[surg]

so i finally got up the guts to ask my attending for an LOR yesterday, and he tells me "to bring some stuff in and we'll go over it". i asked another attending (a younger one, who just finished residency last year) what exactly he meant by that, and she rolled her eyes and informed me he wants me to write my own ... besides the fact that this is completely unethical, how exactly do i go about doing this?? i have heard of other students having to do this ... are there samples on the internet? is there a particular format i should be using? help me please cuz im freakin out! oh, and just to answer your question before you ask, i would really like a LOR from this rotation, so while not getting one is technically an option, realisitically this is an LOR that i sort of need ...

Things I'd want when writing a letter of recommendation are:
1) A current CV
2) A personal statement if possible, or at least a cover letter of what you are applying for (I assume that the person is in the specialty that you are applying for, but that isn't always the case), what your aspirations are (e.g. academics v. community practice, etc.), and what you are looking for.
3) An idea of what you might like me to highlight in your application or things not to forget about.
4) Time to sit down with the person who the letter is about and discuss #1-3

I would assume that this is what the attending is looking for and not write your own letter unless asked directly.