Help me pass my anesthesia rotation!!

[JPJ13]

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All I have to do is find a fact about Malampatti (the dude) that my doctor has never heard of from another student. If I come up with a new fact I get honors,and if I don't I just suck.

 

[coprolalia]

Tell him this: "He digs white chicks."

(Seriously, this is about the stupidest "fool's errand" power trip b.s. that I've heard that has nothing to do with learning about the practice of anesthesiology.)

-copro

 

[psychbender]

Like an alligator, he can fully digest a turtle shell.

 

[TheEleventhReel]

That sounds eerily familiar. Mind saying what city you're in?

 

[JPJ13]

The city I won't give but the rotation is in Virginia.

 

[psychbender]

The city I won't give but the rotation is in Virginia.

It wouldn't happen to be a certain Dr JC in a certain Virginia hospital, whose corporate emblem somewhat resembles three toilet seats closing, would it?

If so, has he asked you the cause of unilateral jaundice (as published in the American Journal of Medical Science in 1929), yet?

 

[Bertelman]

That sounds f'ing stupid. I don't personally know any Mallampati trivia, nor do I think anyone should. Was he a surgeon in another life?

 

[jennyboo]

All I have to do is find a fact about Malampatti (the dude) that my doctor has never heard of from another student. If I come up with a new fact I get honors,and if I don't I just suck.

I was once told by a person unnamed, "I knew Dr. Mallampati when he was at ___ Hospital. The truth is, he wasn't a great intubator."

 

[coprolalia]

I was once told by a person unnamed, "I knew Dr. Mallampati when he was at ___ Hospital. The truth is, he wasn't a great intubator."

Why does that not surprise me?

I think the biggest predictor, barring everything else, of difficult intubation is a dense submandibular fat pad coupled with (even mild) retrognathia. Start paying attention to that. Even if their airway looks "easy" by all other standards, if they have that combination you're going to struggle.

-copro

 

[Gern Blansten]

All I have to do is find a fact about Malampatti (the dude) that my doctor has never heard of from another student. If I come up with a new fact I get honors,and if I don't I just suck.

Very well, where do I begin? His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. His father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the copper kettle. Some times he would accuse medical students of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. His childhood was typical; summers at Mass General, therapeutic bleeding lessons. In the spring he would make meat helmets. When he was insolent, he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with stylets, pretty standard really. At the age of 12, he received his first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Virginia Apgar ritualistically shaved his testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking. Dr Mallampati suggests you try it.

 

[dhb]

Ask him directly:

Mallampati, Seshagiri R., MD Brigham and Women's Hospital, Department of Anesthesiology, Perioperative and Pain Medicine
75 Francis Street, CWN L1
Boston, MA 02115
Phone: (617) 732-8222

 

[periopdoc]

Very well, where do I begin? His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. His father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the copper kettle. Some times he would accuse medical students of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. His childhood was typical; summers at Mass General, therapeutic bleeding lessons. In the spring he would make meat helmets. When he was insolent, he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with stylets, pretty standard really. At the age of 12, he received his first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Virginia Apgar ritualistically shaved his testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking. Dr Mallampati suggests you try it.

👍👍👍

- pod

 

[Bertelman]

Very well, where do I begin? His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. His father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the copper kettle. Some times he would accuse medical students of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. His childhood was typical; summers at Mass General, therapeutic bleeding lessons. In the spring he would make meat helmets. When he was insolent, he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with stylets, pretty standard really. At the age of 12, he received his first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Virginia Apgar ritualistically shaved his testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking. Dr Mallampati suggests you try it.

Always a classic.

 

[TheEleventhReel]

The city I won't give but the rotation is in Virginia.

That's enough for me then. I'm sure it's the same guy. I never got the pleasure to work with him, but the other student on the rotation with me got asked the same question.