(1) I should take organic chemistry during the summer after my 4th year at UVA.
For someone with a low GPA coming into the scheme of things, I find it odd someone would advise you to take any class, especially OChem, over the summer. I would not advise you to go that route.
(2) I should seriously look at OD schools because there are no downsides to them.
I believe you mean DO schools (Osteopathic schools), unless you want to become an opthamologist (eye exams). There are no down sides in that you will still become a "physician" in the end, however there are countless threads and endless debate regarding the preceived "bias" towards osteopathic physicians from the general public and academic institutions. You really need to do your research before you chose to go the osteopathic route.
(3) The average GPA of UVA students getting into medical school is nearly a 3.5, and the lowest average GPA of UVA students getting into any particular medical school is a 3.3 and it's at EVMS. Therefore, my GPA of a 2.8 at UVA is truly horrendous.
Well we know you have to get the GPA up, thats no surprise. How to do that is upto you. Clearly to get anything close to a 3.3 you will need to take upper level courses in addition to Ochem, so I don't see the rush to take Ochem over the summer. There are plenty of schools that will look at the "whole picture" rather than just your GPA. Your main focus should be to raise your GPA as much as possible over the next year or two, take the MCAT and re-assess your situation after that. Look into special master's programs after you take the MCAT, I think there is one in Virginia, no?
(4) My undergrad GPA is pretty much a lost cause, and I should focus on masters work to improve my overall candidacy for medical school.
Again a master's degree will not significantly improve your medical school chances unless A) You are talking special master's programs, for which most you will need to have taken the MCAT by the time you apply or B.) You plan on applying to only Osteopathic (DO) schools, which use graduate school grades as factored into your undergraduate GPA, which Allopathic (MD) schools do not.
(5) I should probably not get a job while I do one of these programs.
This is actually great advice, do not work if you can help it. Take out loans and get used to it.
(6) I should focus very heavily on getting at least 100 hours of volunteer work at a hospital and/or get my EMT-B.
I've always been skeptical about people telling you how many hours of such work you need, what certifications you should get, etc. Why? Because everyone else is doing it too! Your goal is to stand out so find activities that are unique but also allow you to get direct patient contact. There are plenty of opportunities out there.
Is it true that pushing my GPA up to a 3.0 is almost a foolish hope to get into medical school? Bare in mind the stuff I wrote in my first post about how my GPA is being calculated (from VCU and from UVA) -- so my GPA is not actually a 2.8...
Well, what is your GPA? Bear in mind the facts; most medical schools requare at LEAST a 2.8 to even be considered for an interview. The only thing you can do is try your best to do well in the rest of your classes and get your GPA as high as you can in the next year. Also keep in mind that as the reality of your situation sets in, other opportunities to become a physician that you may not have considered now will become more applealing to you in the future (DO schools, Caribbean schools, other healthcare professions, etc.)
The only thing you can do now is try your best to play the game. There are no guarentees but remember no two applicants are the same, so no one can say how you will do in the application process as it is very random given the number of applicants. Once again, do your part to make the best effort possible and let the rest fall into place. Research and always keep in mind the other options open to you and if you are willing to compremise, you will make it.
Good luck.