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hosting gifts?
Started by shock-me-sane
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Assuming we are talking about the people who host you for interviews, I just left behind nice thank you cards. I think that is the most appropriate way to go.
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I've gotten gifts from roughly half the prospective students I've hosted over the years, and I gave something when I applied. I think it's a nice gesture of appreciation, but by no means does it have any effect on someone getting into the program or not. The gifts are usually something small, like a small box of chocolates, or a jar of jam, or some vermont maple syrup (that was cute, since the person was from Vermont).
Much more important than a gift is sending or leaving a thank you note with the person who hosted you. I mean, if it's similar to my program, I'm picking someone up at the airport driving someone around for 2 days, having them sleep in my apartment (and I usually give them my bed, since that's more comfy than my couch), try to get a variety of breakfast and snack foods for them, bring enough alcohol to the student party for the both of us, and try to generally be helpful. I'm happy to do it, and return the favor that people did for me at the time. But, while students are encouraged to host, it's not required and it is a fairly large imposition on someone. So, I think it's good to be gracious that they're hosting and not making you pay for a hotel. There's only one person who didn't write a thank you note to whom I've hosted, and I have to say that did annoy me. I do think it corresponded with a general lack of social skills on that person's part, and they didn't get in for reasons relating to those social skill deficits.
Just my 2 cents!
Much more important than a gift is sending or leaving a thank you note with the person who hosted you. I mean, if it's similar to my program, I'm picking someone up at the airport driving someone around for 2 days, having them sleep in my apartment (and I usually give them my bed, since that's more comfy than my couch), try to get a variety of breakfast and snack foods for them, bring enough alcohol to the student party for the both of us, and try to generally be helpful. I'm happy to do it, and return the favor that people did for me at the time. But, while students are encouraged to host, it's not required and it is a fairly large imposition on someone. So, I think it's good to be gracious that they're hosting and not making you pay for a hotel. There's only one person who didn't write a thank you note to whom I've hosted, and I have to say that did annoy me. I do think it corresponded with a general lack of social skills on that person's part, and they didn't get in for reasons relating to those social skill deficits.
Just my 2 cents!
I've hosted in the past, and I never expected anything....though the last person I hosted I should have left a bill for, ugh. She was inconsiderate, rude, kept changing when she was coming in, and she left me a VM letting me know that she was making her BF drive her down here because she missed her flight. She never asked if that was okay to bring him, etc. I'd think at this point she'd spring for a hotel, but instead she showed up at 2:00am, waking me and my housemate up (as the guard house has to verify anyone coming in), and then she left without saying anything the next morning.
Oh, and feedback from hosts matter. I made sure to share with the TD my experience with her as an applicant, and needless to say....she got the axe.
-t
Oh, and feedback from hosts matter. I made sure to share with the TD my experience with her as an applicant, and needless to say....she got the axe.
-t
Definitely! I forgot to add that, but I'm supposed to evaluate every prospective who stays with me. A gift doesn't make me evaluate better, but being rude, inconsiderate and ungrateful certainly makes me evaluate worse. Everyone should remember they're being evaluated the entire time they're on the visit. Some people think the only evaluation times are the actual interviews. I can think of at least 2 people who had a good shot of getting in, but were incredibly rude at the student party and then didn't make it.
A couple years ago I met a narcassistic applicant during the lunchtime break, who went on a tirade of how great he was (reciting his stats) and how crappy the other applicants were compared to him. He told me who he'd consider working with, and who wasn't up to his level as a supervisor. The finally dagger was a couple anti-semitic jokes he shared with me. It really was a surreal experience, as I had on an official name tag that stated I was an interviewer, and I told him as much....though I doubt he heard me. You can guess what happened to his application.
-t
