My wife is almost halfway thru her 2nd year of residency (general peds at a teaching hospital in VA). From the start, she has had a difficult time with the stress, lack of strong training provided, and the hours, like anyone would. She wasn't very happy with it, but she was coping. We both knew that intern year was the worst, and that 2-3 year would be better. Things were going to improve.
Now that she's been a 2nd year for almost 6 months, it is safe to say that is not the case. While the job itself has gotten slightly better in some ways, it's gotten worse in others, and that has taken a major toll on her. She's never been able to 'turn it off' when she leaves the hospital, and leave all those concerns at the door, but at least during the first year she was able to be relatively happy outside of work. That has been in slow decline for the past few months, and it's become extremely concerning to me.
Most of it can be expected- the constant need to sleep, do work at home, frustration with attendings/peers/patient population. Those are things all residents deal with, and she knows this. But it's gone beyond that for her. She has made countless mentions of a desire to quit residency and not make medicine her career, winning the lottery- in other words, using those things as escape mechanisms. She knows quitting is not possible due to the financial implications, and I think she feels very trapped. I've tried to reassure her that most every resident goes thru that, and that once she finished residency and finds the right job, these problems will mostly go away. I don't feel like she agrees at all.
She is unquestionably exhibiting the symptoms that come with extreme burnout. I honestly feel like I am helping her as much as I can, but it's not something I can fix. I am worried that she is flirting with depression. Last night, I asked her if she would consider going to see a staff counselor or private psychiatrist, for one session, to see if it would help. She said she's not 'there' yet. She knows she is in a bad place, and she does want to do something about it, but I know she isn't confident that anything will make a real difference, and so it's hard for her to make the effort. And I think the real or perceived stigma that comes with anything mental-health related is there for her.
I don't want to push her in any direction, as I know it's a fragile, highly emotional situation. But I am worried- very worried. I do not want the next 1.5 years to be a further slide down this slope. I don't want her to feel her career in medicine is over before it's really begun (she is an amazing doctor, she will be highly valued wherever she goes). I love her with everything I have, and I will be there for her no matter what- but I feel like if we let this continue without making a true change, no good can come of it.
I would love suggestions on what I could do or suggest that could improve things. I suggested last night that we start working out together, as an outlet for her to 'vent' in a different way. We don't get out as much or do as many things for ourselves as we would like, and that is something I plan on changing as well.
Thank you in advance, sorry for the length.
Now that she's been a 2nd year for almost 6 months, it is safe to say that is not the case. While the job itself has gotten slightly better in some ways, it's gotten worse in others, and that has taken a major toll on her. She's never been able to 'turn it off' when she leaves the hospital, and leave all those concerns at the door, but at least during the first year she was able to be relatively happy outside of work. That has been in slow decline for the past few months, and it's become extremely concerning to me.
Most of it can be expected- the constant need to sleep, do work at home, frustration with attendings/peers/patient population. Those are things all residents deal with, and she knows this. But it's gone beyond that for her. She has made countless mentions of a desire to quit residency and not make medicine her career, winning the lottery- in other words, using those things as escape mechanisms. She knows quitting is not possible due to the financial implications, and I think she feels very trapped. I've tried to reassure her that most every resident goes thru that, and that once she finished residency and finds the right job, these problems will mostly go away. I don't feel like she agrees at all.
She is unquestionably exhibiting the symptoms that come with extreme burnout. I honestly feel like I am helping her as much as I can, but it's not something I can fix. I am worried that she is flirting with depression. Last night, I asked her if she would consider going to see a staff counselor or private psychiatrist, for one session, to see if it would help. She said she's not 'there' yet. She knows she is in a bad place, and she does want to do something about it, but I know she isn't confident that anything will make a real difference, and so it's hard for her to make the effort. And I think the real or perceived stigma that comes with anything mental-health related is there for her.
I don't want to push her in any direction, as I know it's a fragile, highly emotional situation. But I am worried- very worried. I do not want the next 1.5 years to be a further slide down this slope. I don't want her to feel her career in medicine is over before it's really begun (she is an amazing doctor, she will be highly valued wherever she goes). I love her with everything I have, and I will be there for her no matter what- but I feel like if we let this continue without making a true change, no good can come of it.
I would love suggestions on what I could do or suggest that could improve things. I suggested last night that we start working out together, as an outlet for her to 'vent' in a different way. We don't get out as much or do as many things for ourselves as we would like, and that is something I plan on changing as well.
Thank you in advance, sorry for the length.
