How do I explain my situation in personal statement?

[KP80]

I always dreamed of being a doctor but grew up in an abusive household. My father unfortunately has beaten me and my mother, often to a point where we were hospitalized. His abuse affected my schooling in the worst ways possible (including calling deans, showing up outside of my classes and beating me in plain sight of classmates/professors. My embarrassment prevented me from going to classes and I wound up graduating with a 2.4 gpa. When my parents finally split I went back to take a MS in Accounting. I did well my first semester and the following summer, but to my dismay my mom let him back in and the same physical/emotional abuse and him showing up at school continued. I stopped going to classes and eventually felt school was not meant for me so I dropped out. My accounting classes helped me land a job in business analysis, but I was never happy in that field. then my father passed away (2006) and 3 years later I decided to attend a comm college to retake all my prereqs. I am getting As and B+'s now.
How can I explain my poor grades to adcoms? I really don't know what to do. I don't want to make up stories to explain bad grades but I also want to avoid the embarrassment of discussing this sort of abuse with people I might have to face in a professional setting one day.
Kind regards, KP

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[NTF]

That's a tough one. I won't pretend to know how to field your question except to say that it isn't something you need to worry about now. Concentrate on your coursework and building your ECs. Work on the end of your "story" where you show adcoms how you overcame adversity. You'll have time to think about how to present your journey later.

Best of luck.

 

[beckhunter116]

My best advice is to look into DO schools. They replace retakes so you can totally redo your gpa, yes they will see those previous grades so I would mention it somehow in your PS, but not to focus only on that. It's hard to know how much you should discuss. Hopefully others with 1st hand knowledge will comment.

 

[wholeheartedly]

You're not alone in this problem. i'm wondering how to address a very similar story myself. i'm interested to hear what others, and some adcoms think about addressing this.

i think in my case these experiences, in addition to my insatiable curiosity and love of science, are part of what made me want to go into medicine. i learned very early on what's really valuable and important in life. It's made me more in tune with others and a better, more compassionate listner as well. so how to address it without embarrassing detail or sounding like you're making excuses or seeking pity seems like a real challenge.

as for the plan, i think nontradfogie had it right. focus on what you can control at this point. work on making everything from here on out the best it can be. then you're not making excuses so much as saying, "this is what I can accomplish, despite where I've been," instead of saying "this is what I couldn't accomplish, due to where I've been." plus maybe it won't be necessary to give specific details about where you've been.

That's just my strategy though, hopefully others higher up the chain will have more insight.

 

[2010houston]

Good luck with your classes, KP. I hope they go great.

One option for dealing with this might be to put it in your personal statement or in the numerous boxes schools have for detailing anything further you would like to explain. But in addition to a straightforward explanation, you could also put in a very clear statement asserting that although you've overcome your experiences, it is not something you're comfortable discussing outside of your relationship with your therapist, or something of that nature. Then if it does come up at some point, just refer the adcom/interviewer back to this and say "I'm sure you understand I'd rather not disucss this in this setting, and I'd rather talk about what a great doctor I'm going to make". They would want to see that you've dealt with it and are emotionally ready to handle the rigor of med school, but that does NOT mean you have to explain your story to everyone asking.

Best of luck.

 

[DitchDoc73]

Good luck with your classes, KP. I hope they go great.

One option for dealing with this might be to put it in your personal statement or in the numerous boxes schools have for detailing anything further you would like to explain. But in addition to a straightforward explanation, you could also put in a very clear statement asserting that although you've overcome your experiences, it is not something you're comfortable discussing outside of your relationship with your therapist, or something of that nature. Then if it does come up at some point, just refer the adcom/interviewer back to this and say "I'm sure you understand I'd rather not disucss this in this setting, and I'd rather talk about what a great doctor I'm going to make". They would want to see that you've dealt with it and are emotionally ready to handle the rigor of med school, but that does NOT mean you have to explain your story to everyone asking.

Best of luck.

I agree. This is probably the more professional way to go about this situation. If you are not comfortable talking about this with an adcom, tell them that (in a politically correct way), and they should respect your request. Best of luck!

 

[sumstorm]

simply state that it was a problem that was fully resolved on X date, as proven by your GPA/experiences, etc since then. You can contact schools annonymously and inquire as to what their advice would be.

However, one caution, if you share this information, people like me may ask the very hard question: why did you stick around? why didn't you file for a restraining order? why didn't you work with the police to charge him with battery? Particularly since you are talking about hospital care and public battery in school, the question (even if it is tough, unfair, or mean) could come up as to why you were ok and willing to accept this treatment, especially as an adult. Those are questions you may need to be able to answer concisely and reasonably if asked.

 

[njbmd]

I always dreamed of being a doctor but grew up in an abusive household. My father unfortunately has beaten me and my mother, often to a point where we were hospitalized. His abuse affected my schooling in the worst ways possible (including calling deans, showing up outside of my classes and beating me in plain sight of classmates/professors. My embarrassment prevented me from going to classes and I wound up graduating with a 2.4 gpa. When my parents finally split I went back to take a MS in Accounting. I did well my first semester and the following summer, but to my dismay my mom let him back in and the same physical/emotional abuse and him showing up at school continued. I stopped going to classes and eventually felt school was not meant for me so I dropped out. My accounting classes helped me land a job in business analysis, but I was never happy in that field. then my father passed away (2006) and 3 years later I decided to attend a comm college to retake all my prereqs. I am getting As and B+'s now.
How can I explain my poor grades to adcoms? I really don't know what to do. I don't want to make up stories to explain bad grades but I also want to avoid the embarrassment of discussing this sort of abuse with people I might have to face in a professional setting one day.
Kind regards, KP

I would strongly discourage your from using your personal statement to "explain" negative aspects of the rest of your application. Your personal statement is the one area of your application over which you have total control. It should be well-written and should reflect you in the most positive light.

Your personal statement is the only thing that most members of an admissions committee with have as a means of interaction/impression with/of you. When you use this document to attempt to explain things that are negative, you run a high risk of coming off as making "excuses". Believe me, you don't want to leave this type of impression.

Also keep in mind that when admissions committees are looking at transcripts, they are not reading your personal statement at the same time. This means that they may not have much of a problem with your grades (your will definitely not be the only applicant with a few poor grades) but if you make your poor grades the major tone and subject of your personal statement, that's the impression of you that will be uppermost in their minds. Again, you don't want that type of impression left in the minds of your personal statement readers.

If you have something negative that you feel the committee must know, then state it in one or two sentences. After those statements, tell what you have learned from that negative experience and how you have turned that negative into a positive. In short, every negative has to be followed with a positive because you only want positive statements as the overall tone and theme of your personal statement. Take full ownership for everything negative and spin it into a positive otherwise, leave these negative to be explained in an interview not in your personal statement.

I can tell you that most people who enter medical school have had some struggles or issues that they needed to overcome. This is not to make light of your struggles and experiences but to let you know that I have read plenty of personal statements from students who have been the recipients of domestic violence, personal violence whose grades were positively affected by these events this is, were actually made better because they used their academics as a haven from their struggles.

Overall, keep that PS positive and well-written. Make sure it reflects as positively as possible why you would be a good physician and an asset to any medical school class. Make sure that it honestly reflects you as a person that the school/interviewers would want to meet and interact with. Allow a couple of trusted friends/counselors to read your PS and to be brutally honest with you in terms of the overall tone of this document. Good luck!

 

[7starmantis]

that's a tough one. I won't pretend to know how to field your question except to say that it isn't something you need to worry about now. Concentrate on your coursework and building your ecs. Work on the end of your "story" where you show adcoms how you overcame adversity. You'll have time to think about how to present your journey later.

Best of luck.

+1

 

[familyaerospace]

I agree with the person who suggested calling school anonymously to ask what they would suggest. Alternatively, does your school have a prehealth advisor or something along those lines? That is another person you could ask.

I'm so sorry that your life has been hellish. I lived through abuse, but nothing like yours. I hope everything ends up working out for you one way or the other.

 

[Rooni]

If you've moved on enough to get involved with a women's shelter, a domestic abuse prevention program, or something similar, that might go a ways toward showing how your past could help you to be a better, more compassionate physician. I'm just guessing, though.

I'm certainly not in any real position to advise you, here, but I would address it (at least in minor way) in your personal statement. I don't think it will come off sounding like excuses if you do it right. Best of luck to you!

 

[Washingtonian]

So here is how I would approach your situation:

1) Kick ass in all the pre-reqs that you are taking. You MUST improve your GPA whether you apply to a DO or an MD program. I don't know where your GPA currently stands with all the recent As and Bs you have been getting, but you may want to use a GPA calculator to figure out where you are at and what you need to do to raise it.

2) Make sure you have a good MCAT score. The obvious is the higher the score, the better your chances.

3) Get some volunteer experience in the healthcare world.

4) Regarding your personal statement question, while I do think that your personal statement is a place to address your "lower grades," I would not emphasize this point. The focus of your essay should be really on why you want to become a physician. What experiences have directed you on this path? How do the skills that you obtained thus far mesh with those that you feel a doctor should possess? At the end, perhaps you say a LITTLE to address why you obtained poor grades, but make sure you counter it with how you have overcome this.

I hope this helps and good luck!


🙂 Class of 2014😀

 

[QofQuimica]

I always dreamed of being a doctor but grew up in an abusive household. My father unfortunately has beaten me and my mother, often to a point where we were hospitalized. His abuse affected my schooling in the worst ways possible (including calling deans, showing up outside of my classes and beating me in plain sight of classmates/professors. My embarrassment prevented me from going to classes and I wound up graduating with a 2.4 gpa. When my parents finally split I went back to take a MS in Accounting. I did well my first semester and the following summer, but to my dismay my mom let him back in and the same physical/emotional abuse and him showing up at school continued. I stopped going to classes and eventually felt school was not meant for me so I dropped out. My accounting classes helped me land a job in business analysis, but I was never happy in that field. then my father passed away (2006) and 3 years later I decided to attend a comm college to retake all my prereqs. I am getting As and B+'s now.
How can I explain my poor grades to adcoms? I really don't know what to do. I don't want to make up stories to explain bad grades but I also want to avoid the embarrassment of discussing this sort of abuse with people I might have to face in a professional setting one day.
Kind regards, KP

You're really asking about two issues here:

1) What do you do to make up for poor previous grades? The answer is to make stellar current grades. It sounds like you're already doing that, so keep it up. Try your best to finish with a postbac GPA of 3.8+, which will go a long way to help reassure adcoms that you are capable of handling a medical school curriculum. You may also want to take some extra science classes beyond the bare minimum requirements (biochem, genetics, etc.), again to show that you can handle tough courses.

2) How do you handle explaining the turnaround in your academic record? The purpose of the AMCAS PS is for you to explain why you want to go into medicine. I suggest that you focus your PS on what made you want to go to medical school, as well as emphasizing how you have grown and improved over time. Presumably you will have some clinical experience before you apply if you don't already; that is exactly the kind of topic to discuss in the PS. In addition, it is not uncommon for nontrads to apply with an academic record like yours. Adcoms know that not everyone has their stuff together at age 18. What we want to know though is that you have your stuff together *now*.

Concerning the specifics of why you didn't do well previously, my advice is that you say as little as possible about your experience with abuse, and ideally, you don't mention it at all. It may be unfair in some cases, but there are certain topics that really give some members of the adcom pause when discussed in an applicant's PS. Mental illness is probably the biggie, but massive family instability like what you're describing would probably sow doubt in some minds as well. In my experience, applicants who focus their essays around topics like these raise enough doubts that some members of the adcom have been reluctant to vote for them. You should also consider that if you do write about the abuse anywhere on your application, it is fair game for the interviewers to ask you about it, and the adcom may consider it when deciding whether to admit you. Finally, you should expect that there will probably be some psychiatrists on most adcoms, and an admissions office may even intentionally select a psychiatrist to interview you.

Of course, there is always a possibility that an interviewer may bring up your old grades even if you don't. If you are asked during an interview why you didn't do well previously, it is fine to give a general answer explaining that you did not put forth your best effort in college at that point, but that you are doing so now, as evidenced by your postbac grades. There is no need to give a run-down of your entire life, and again, I highly recommend that you not discuss the abuse in any context during the app process.

Best of luck to you. 🙂

 

[KP80]

simply state that it was a problem that was fully resolved on X date, as proven by your GPA/experiences, etc since then. You can contact schools annonymously and inquire as to what their advice would be.

However, one caution, if you share this information, people like me may ask the very hard question: why did you stick around? why didn't you file for a restraining order? why didn't you work with the police to charge him with battery? Particularly since you are talking about hospital care and public battery in school, the question (even if it is tough, unfair, or mean) could come up as to why you were ok and willing to accept this treatment, especially as an adult. Those are questions you may need to be able to answer concisely and reasonably if asked.

Sunstorm, thanks for ur advice. My father was arrested and restraining orders were filed by my mother. However, she always took him back once the order expired. I come from a traditional eastern family and although I recognized the problem wouldn't end, it was difficult convincing my mom. I also could not bring myself to completely abandon her when she chose to resign herself to that "fate". I never moved out, and often came home from university just to stay with her when he was home. Dad was an intelligent man, its just a shame he chose to spend his life in that way.

 

[The right Path]

simply state that it was a problem that was fully resolved on X date, as proven by your GPA/experiences, etc since then. You can contact schools annonymously and inquire as to what their advice would be.

However, one caution, if you share this information, people like me may ask the very hard question: why did you stick around? why didn't you file for a restraining order? why didn't you work with the police to charge him with battery? Particularly since you are talking about hospital care and public battery in school, the question (even if it is tough, unfair, or mean) could come up as to why you were ok and willing to accept this treatment, especially as an adult. Those are questions you may need to be able to answer concisely and reasonably if asked.

Questions such as these blame the victim. It isn't being "tough, unfair, or mean"- it's being ignorant. It is a huge factor in the ability of an aggressor to maintain control and fear. In fact, this prevailing attitude about victims of domestic violence makes it so much harder to get out of the situation. Seriously, who wants to put themselves out there to get help when the response is "you're an idiot for allowing it."? If the OP's past experience with this is brought up in the admission process, s/he should call bullsh*t on any inference that s/he was willing to accept this treatment or should have done more to get away from it.

To the OP: Empower yourself with facts. Get involved in your local intimate partner/domestic violence outreach. Not only will it be personally beneficial to you, and of course those you serve, but it will also demonstrate to adcoms how you can take a tragic situation that was out of your control and use it to help you make a positive change in your life and others. Presenting a good outcome is better than explaining why your past experience has caused academic hardship for you.

 

[sumstorm]

Questions such as these blame the victim. It isn't being "tough, unfair, or mean"- it's being ignorant. It is a huge factor in the ability of an aggressor to maintain control and fear. In fact, this prevailing attitude about victims of domestic violence makes it so much harder to get out of the situation. Seriously, who wants to put themselves out there to get help when the response is "you're an idiot for allowing it."? If the OP's past experience with this is brought up in the admission process, s/he should call bullsh*t on any inference that s/he was willing to accept this treatment or should have done more to get away from it.

To the OP: Empower yourself with facts. Get involved in your local intimate partner/domestic violence outreach. Not only will it be personally beneficial to you, and of course those you serve, but it will also demonstrate to adcoms how you can take a tragic situation that was out of your control and use it to help you make a positive change in your life and others. Presenting a good outcome is better than explaining why your past experience has caused academic hardship for you.

The ONLY individual in an abusive situation that the victim can CHANGE is the person being abused. NONE of us can EVER change anyone else. The only actions and behaviors anyone can control are our own. I am not blaming... I am not saying she/he deserved it or asked for it. I am saying that we all make choices, and when one is an adult, they have to decide what they will and will not accept from other people, including thier parents. It is horrible, I get that. I understand. I chose to walk away from alcoholism and abuse, even when it meant working insane hours while attending school full time. Even when it meant living out of my car (an old beater I bought myself) for the better part of a year. I know how hard it is. I walked away from my late husband's family right after my husband died (widow at 22) when my brother-in-law told me I deserved to be assaulted. Specifically, he said that any woman who went traipsing around the world (I was part of a team that provided medical care in hill tribe villages in thailand) deserved to be raped. I do not believe I deserved any of that, and I don't believe the OP deserved it either, but it is very true that we are the only people who can decide how to conduct our own lives, and that includes making extremly difficult decisions, including whether or not to tolerate abuse.

My point is very true: EVERYTHING you put on your application is fair game to question and challenge. And the questioning does NOT have to be fair, or kind, or anything else. Ad coms are not out there to make our lives better, or help our dreams and goals come true. They are there to find individuals who will complete the program sucessfully, continue into the profession, and perform well in their chosen career. If an ad com does not believe someone's past actions or experienes (when the individual raises the information in an appliction) are compatable with successful completion of the program, they have every reason to question the actions or experiences, and to use it to consider future performance. So, again, if the applicant brings it up, I firmly believe that it should be as a simple statement that does NOT offer unnecessary information, points to when a resolution occured, and highlights the evidence of sucess after resolution. That is true whether we are talking about abuse, medical or psychological issues, or anything else that can cast an applicant or his or her past in a negative light. Unless this experience is what brought the OP to medicine, and they can illustrate that in a way that is positive, it isn' worth mentioning.

Oh, and as ignorant as you consider me, we have housed 7 individuals escaping domestic abuse in the past 3 years, including their children. No charge, no compensation from any organization. We are also foster parents who accept (priority) adolescents and teens removed from homes for domestic violence. If you want to judge me, I hope your willing to take over these tasks; obviously you would be far better at assisting these families. I ask way too much; I ask these individuals to take the help available and embrace thier own power to decide what their future holds, rather than accepting the life put on them by another. I will never stop anyone who choses to return to an abuser, but it is a choice that ony that indiviual can make, and they do need to know for themselves why they return. I would be happy to send the next person in distress to you, we can always use more safe homes; many come into the system with only what they could easily carry.

 

[The right Path]

The ONLY individual in an abusive situation that the victim can CHANGE is the person being abused. NONE of us can EVER change anyone else. The only actions and behaviors anyone can control are our own. I am not blaming... I am not saying she/he deserved it or asked for it.

Wow, holy defensive. I didn't accuse you, personally, of blaming. You brought up questions that someone in an adcom might ask if s/he revealed her past experience with DV. And s/he might very well be asked those questions. That is a valid point. However, I still stand by the opinion that those questions convey an attitude of blame. Which given your experience that you detail below should alert you to the fact that public censure is a factor that keeps people from reaching out.

My point is very true: EVERYTHING you put on your application is fair game to question and challenge. And the questioning does NOT have to be fair, or kind, or anything else. Ad coms are not out there to make our lives better, or help our dreams and goals come true. They are there to find individuals who will complete the program sucessfully, continue into the profession, and perform well in their chosen career. If an ad com does not believe someone's past actions or experienes (when the individual raises the information in an appliction) are compatable with successful completion of the program, they have every reason to question the actions or experiences, and to use it to consider future performance. So, again, if the applicant brings it up, I firmly believe that it should be as a simple statement that does NOT offer unnecessary information, points to when a resolution occured, and highlights the evidence of sucess after resolution. That is true whether we are talking about abuse, medical or psychological issues, or anything else that can cast an applicant or his or her past in a negative light. Unless this experience is what brought the OP to medicine, and they can illustrate that in a way that is positive, it isn' worth mentioning.

I agree with the above and stated as much. If I were in the OP's shoes and I were asked by someone- anyone- why I was willing to accept abusive treatment or do more to get out of it, I would use that opportunity to educate that individual(s) -yes, even an adcom- about the nature of DV and emphasize the successes and positives after overcoming that adverse situation.

Oh, and as ignorant as you consider me, we have housed 7 individuals escaping domestic abuse in the past 3 years, including their children. No charge, no compensation from any organization. We are also foster parents who accept (priority) adolescents and teens removed from homes for domestic violence. If you want to judge me, I hope your willing to take over these tasks; obviously you would be far better at assisting these families. I ask way too much; I ask these individuals to take the help available and embrace thier own power to decide what their future holds, rather than accepting the life put on them by another. I will never stop anyone who choses to return to an abuser, but it is a choice that ony that indiviual can make, and they do need to know for themselves why they return. I would be happy to send the next person in distress to you, we can always use more safe homes; many come into the system with only what they could easily carry.

Do I need to repeat that I wasn't personally saying you are ignorant? The attitude that a person willingly accepts abuse, is an ignorant attitude. If this is your attitude, well then yes, despite your extensive involvement, I would consider you ignorant. And, I would be scratching my head wondering why after such extensive experience, you would not understand the systematic isolation and degradation that people in these circumstances undergo. And of course you can't change the abuser, and you can't stop a victim from returning. All a person can do is offer viable ways out, and the emotional support that lets them know they don't deserve nor are responsible for the abuse. Could I personally be doing more to help out such individuals? I'm sure I could. Would my home be an appropriate place? Not at this time, but I sure could refer to an appropriate place.